Hello campers!
How's it going? Ok the good news is we are recording a new 4 track E.P for release later in the year. We are currently in Devon with our good friend Peter Miles making music, soup and just a little bit of love. Actually there has been no love made at all, even though my girlfriend is here she won't touch me. She isn't that stupid.
Ok before i blog our daily bollocks at the studio, i will tell you of a couple of Mike TV gig type things.
First up! We are going on the 3 Way Dance in October with our less than good friends ADVANTAGE and THE RUINED. You can see all the dates on this very informative poster.
Secondly! The news is that we have a gig in Portsmouth that you have to attend. It's not even an option. It's with MC Lars at The Wedgewood Rooms on the 27th of October. We haven't played there since our last album launch, so no excuses for not coming down to what is a very local show for us :)
You can pick up tickets from our shop, sans booking fee & Postage costs for only £7.50.
Click this
link and all will be yours!
Ok finally the blog bit!
Day One! Vegan dogs, Sally Gunnell and drumtracks.
After a long, sunday-esque hungover drive from East Hampshire to the Miles mansion in Ashburton, Devon the plan was to get some shut-eye and get up nice and early. I always forget that i am in the rock n' roll behemoth that is Mike TV. Domb and Sally Gunnell (Rich's brand new nickname, all will become apparent later) decided to stay up until 5 a.m drinking wine and kissing. By kissing i mean watching videos really loudly on You Tube, so much so that i had to come and berate them. Domb tried to convince me that i was wrong but that's never been the case in 28 years, so why start now.
I awoke to find Sally Gunnell asleep in the control room all curled up like a frightened hedgehog and smelling like a brewery. He soon went for a jog and came back looking like a mid-life crisis personified in a bi-sexual chump. I had christened him Sally Gunnell last night after he had told us about his ambition to go jogging. It's not funny but fairly apt. Maybe i should of gone for Caster Semanya? After a quick fire breakfast, Peter Miles and Glyn Mellor set up a mongrel drumkit which Glyn then started destroying with his fantastically muscly body. He nailed three drum tracks in the early afternoon and we all praised him highly and i rewarded him with a fantabulous homemade vegetable soup. Glyn is adapting to the enforced veganism very well. Peter Miles dog is vegan, that is cool. Do you know any vegan dogs? I do, Peter Miles has a vegan dog! I just told you that silly. I had a vegan hotdog once but that is a different story. I don't wanna eat Pete's dog though, as she is really nice and i am vegan so that would be weird. They do eat dogs in China though, did i mention we went there earlier in the year? I don't think they'd eat vegan dogs though.
Sally Gunnell rounded the day off by doing guitar tracks for three of the new songs. He used Pete's new Telecaster and we all agreed that it sounded rather brilliant. Not that we know much about these things but it's nice to all sit round, nod and look musically learned. I did what i do best and i made a dinner of mashed tatties, sosmix and Pete complemented it with his gravy. That being the gravy of the homemade kind and not the groin kind. I then wrote a stupid and long winded blog about the day and then added some pictures to it. The end... well not quite. Looking forward to tomorrow.. will Sally Gunnell keep up with the jogging? Will the vegan dog break edge? Will i write something interesting? Who knows. Tune in tomorrow then friends. Good night!
Day Two - The next chapter in the 'Stopgap' saga.
Hello! First up, just so you know the E.P is most likely going to be called 'Stopgap.' That's because it's just the starter course for the main dish (an album) that will be served up on a musical platter next year. Not sure what to give you for afters? Please enthrall me with your witty retorts.
Ok so on with the day! You are gonna be sitting here wondering what the hell has happened today? We started the day with some excellent banana pancakes courtesy of Peter Miles, they were most tasty and even the egg eating cunts in my band enjoyed them. Musically our plan is to finish three songs so everyone doesn't get bored and then we can go back and start the next two. Domb laid down his first three bass tracks with a reassured ease whilst we bought various fungus from Ashburton for the lunchtime potage. Before the cooking could commence i set the recording studio on fire with some blistering axe work ripping apart the three songs with the tantamount ease to that of an actual guitarist.
Lunchtime! Soup of the day! Mushroom! Got any more mushrooms gags other than fun guy (fungi) or much room (mushroom) in here? I raise you this! "I went to London on my Oyster card the other day and visited Portabello market to buy a button. This poor, fun guy said i looked shit.'Take a hike' i said!" There is a free CD for anyone if you message me the amount of mushroom references in that last sentence. Who said this blog wasn't worth reading? It may be dull but hey you might even get something out of it. Even if it is a shit CD.
One more thing. Peter Miles is the Hitler of washing up, the plates are the Gestapo and we are the subservient masses.
After washing up for Hitler, Sally Gunnell did all his guitar solos very quickly and we all praised him lots. He needs praise to be lavished on him as he is rubbish at most things like table-tennis, buttering bread and driving. I know that his father often reads our blogs so i will leave him some compliments so he doesn't despair of his offspring. He is an excellent lover and has the finest palate in the whole of Hampshire for a good olive. Next on the agenda, Dominicus Thumbernocerous started his main vocal for one of the new ditties he had lovingly composed. We spent the rest of the day going through this and adding a billion backing vocals as is akin to the Mike TV sound. Song numero uno (that's Spanish for fucking awesome) is now complete.
To cap off the evening, Peter once again cooked. This time it was a Moroccan style stew with cous-cous. He also fixed my guitar amp with efficient aplomb, thanks Pete you saved me a whole bunch of hassle. What a guy! Chef to engineer in ten minutes flat.
To conclude day two. Things are going well and as long as we don't have any fatalities and can remember how to play music for the next four days then all steam ahead on the Mike TV juggernaut. Until tomorrow!
p.s The dog is still vegan and Sally Gunnell didn't go for that second jog.
Day Three - Three is the magic number.
Day three started off with everyone's favourite washing up enforcer Peter Miles waking us up with a very loud drumbeat. Have you ever gone from being fast asleep to being wide awake listening to a hippy playing drums? It's actually really fun. Really fun. Thanks Pete! Apparently we are getting some guitar tomorrow. Can't wait! I might stay awake in the live room all night just so i can jump out and scare the cunt.
So musically what happened today then? I'll get this all sorted in one efficient chunk. Glyn played drums for two more tracks, we spent a few hours doing vocals, some especially silly harmonies and then Sally Gunnell oozed testosterone with some blazing guitar work to make up for his half foreskin penis. Mine isn't much better but i don't have the guitar skills to fall back on. Luckily i have the My Space log in so i can say what the fuck i want. Sally Gunnell sounds like David Bowie with Parkinson's when he sings sometimes.
Food update! Soup of the day was carrot. It was particularly thrilling and i had so much i will be able to see in the dark for at least a month. For dinner Claire (Pete's ladyfriend) made us all a Mexican. It's like a holiday home down here (except for the washing up.) Moroccan meals to Mexican in 24 hours.
Tomorrow is a big day! We have fuckloads to do, so we are all getting a few extra hours of drinking in so the Mike TV machine is oiled and ready to rock. It's amazing how alcohol can entertain your brain but starves it of modicum of intelligent language and interesting dialogue.
p.s I do actually love Sally Gunnell, i just have emotional issues where i have to pick on someone less fortunate than me.
Day four is exactly two-thirds through our recording experience.
So here we are at day four. It feels like only yesterday that it was day three. We got woken up by Peter Miles and the thousandth AC-DC riff we have heard this week. Luckily i pre-empted it and cantered down the stairs to see our lanky producer adorned in a dressing gown and strumming at his axe hard.
If i am gonna be totally honest with you, today was a bit dull in the grand scheme of recording. First off there was a distinct lack of soup. I think was the major problem with the day, as we had leftover chilli, refried beans and humous wraps which caused major gas issues at both ends for all concerned. You know you have an issue when your burps are smelling worse than your farts. We did enjoy the sunny day, multiple games of table-tennis and awesome pancakes for breakfast. I think i have actually spent more time cooking and washing up this week than i have recording or even on the internet. In fact i definitely have. No complaints though. I think this has turned more into a food/dietary blog rather than a music one. Let's rectify that situation now with a new paragraph.
Musically today we did all the guitars and bass for songs four and five. Domb used him thumb to great effect (as his monicker suggests) and we were all very proud of him. I would of given him a present if had left the house in the last 48 hours but alas i haven't. I think he knows that i love him as both a close friend and drunken fuck buddy. I got to play with Pete's super heavy, black Les Paul. You are only allowed to play it standing up, legs really far apart and pulling various cliched rock faces. After our lunch in the Devon sunshine we moved onto vocals. Domb did two main vocals and everyone joined in for several more rounds of ridiculous harmonising.
So as i mentioned at the start of this tiresome tirade, today was a little dull. When you are not recording you can get stuck in a rut. We are all really looking forward to releasing the E.P and getting out again and playing some shows with Mike TV part deux. We have the 3 Way Dance tour next month, a show at the Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms and a hometown show in Stoke for Glyn Mellor. So you better come see us.
Wow! That last paragraph was sensible. Time for another one.
I'm off to bed now.
Day Five - Poo!
You know a day isn't going to be amazing when you see three meaty piles of Petey Miles' dog's shit outside your bedroom door at 9 a.m. The dog in question (Ali, you know the vegan one) had taken it upon herself to decorate the landing with some chunky loads of her anal artwork. I had the pleasure or removing it. Luckily i didn't put my foot in it, as i am actually a dog scat freak and i would of starting rubbing it all over my bandmates, Peter Miles, Claire and the vegan dog. I would have probably driven into the village and started rubbing it on the ordinary townsfolk until they were all poo-ey and horny like me.
Ok, so what else could go wrong? Daytime dilemma part two! Whilst we were chowing down some breakfast, we heard some murmurings that Pete's computer wasn't working so well. We came and had a looksee at it and it had some kind of ska chequered bullshit across the screen. Several phonecalls later and not much had been resolved so Pete had to use m
y itsy bitsy teeny weeny white not so polka dot or bikini little macbook for the rest of the day. Thank fuck i had it or we would not of had anything to do and would of driven back to East Hampshire with our genitals in between our legs if they were actually big enough. I would of said tails but none of us have tails, except Sally Gunnell who is actually a fox. I mean a fox as in the animal and not a sexy human being. As i am writing this blog i am very annoyed that i can't change the font back to the original font i started with. Either i am fucking stupid or the internet is getting it's revenge for our lack of contact today.
Today i also said goodbye to my narcoleptic fiancee (she is also called Sally) who spent the whole week sleeping whilst we have recorded this shit CD. She caught the train home and true to form missed her stop whilst asleep and ended up in our capital city.
Anyway back to the music, as that's what is very important. Music. Sure is.
Sally Gunnell laid down some serious guitars this morning. Including the cheesiest guitar solo i have ever heard. It's the musical equivalent of a dairylea pizza. You will be sick. We then spent the rest of the day doing vocals, so many fucking vocals. Including a two hour power session tonight that melted all our brains into a fondue like state.
I will take this moment to apologise for my poor grammar in this blog and will try and improve next time around when i have more time. I also feel my sentences have been way too short. Today. Sorry.
Okay, well thanks for reading. We are going to mix this musical mess tomorrow but for now i will leave you with the conundrum... if a dog shits on the carpet and no one sees it, should you clean it up?
Day Six -
We mixed the e.p and drove home. The end.
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