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Last Updated: 11/26/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 49
Sign: Virgo

State: CALIFORNIA
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/25/2006

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September 23, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  angry
Category: Blogging

Now tell me something…you would think that getting your haircut and colored with highlights would be simple for a professional "Senior" hairdresser, that was her title. My oldest daughter Jill had her hair done a couple days ago, but it didn’t look like there were any highlights added far away, so she went back to them and had the same lady redo it by adding more highlights. The name of the place is; (NEVER GO THERE)

Salon Visions
854 Bryan Rd.
O'Fallon, MO. 63366
(636) 978-3150

This place should get bad reviews from everyone...

Well yesterday she went back and these pictures are the result to her fixing it. She absolutely ruined it by placing bleach into it and burnt the ends of her hair, turning her hair some many different colors such as orange, white, gray, and others colors probably not even heard of.

Check out the the before pictures and then compare them to the after pictures. The lady knew she has getting it done for her wedding day and yet completely ruined her hair. I truly think is ruined her hair deliberately because she had to do it over. What is she going to do now? Thinking, thinking,thinking, thinking...thinking again..Felix the cat

She doesn’t even know at this point and she gets married the 3rd of Oct. does anyone have any ideas? I think she got her license through kindergarten…

MORE PICTURES OF HAIR

Picture before... Picture before... After... After... After... Before... After... After... Before... After... Bleached not highlighted..After... Tell me if this looks okay? Hair actually looks worst than the photo...;( Give Bad Reviews everyone !!! PLEASE...
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September 9, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  blessed
Category: Blogging
My daughter Michelle’s jaw surgery went real well. I posted some before and after pix. The last photo is one taken before her surgery, and the others are ones that were taken after the surgery. They cut across her sinus cavity bringing the upper lip outward and the bottom jaw they cut out the back side of the jaw, check out the difference.
MORE BEFORE SURGERY PICTURES











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My other blog;
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1. Across this bridge
2. Struggling parents
3. When life become a book
4. Read Between the Lines
5. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery
6. Layout Marketing
7. Internet Lifestyle
8. Marketing Myself



September 9, 2009 - Wednesday 
May 30, 2008 - Friday 

Current mood:  blessed
When your children are young you say to yourself that you wish for them to reach 18 and become adults, and now that all my daughters have become adults, I wish for them to be young again. You give it you whole life towards your kids and then when they become adults, you have to begin your own life, and it just seems very lonely. Letting them go, is the hardest thing in my life.

Chrissy (her teacher, she is actually her cousin and my niece) and Michelle, (The graduate). Chrissy taught Alex (my other daughter) when she went to the same school. Its weird that she is my niece and her cousin, but she is the GREATEST teacher of all...THANKS Chrissy !!!

My Dad, Michelle (The graduate) me and my Mom;
She is an adult now, she passed her driving test yesterday, the day after graduation, I am proud of her, and she is the last of my girls (kids) to graduate.


Alex and Michelle, sometimes they act like they want to kill each, but they've been best buds since they were wearing diapers, playing barbies, and dressing up with my dress shoes and clothes, it hard to let them go, I now know how my Mother feels like. You want to help them as much as you can, but it doesn't really help them. It just drowns them, and they cannot experience adult life on their own, I become tearie eyed when I think that they no longer need me the way it was.

Be sure and check out my other blogs below;
DONATIONS ARE APPRECIATED !!! I NO LONGER HAVE AN INCOME (DISABLED)


















There are many areas of my life that I cannot change. What I can change is my attitude. Today I can accept my life as it is. I can be grateful and happy, here and now, with what I have.

"I must do many things for myself, for soo long I have done so many things for my children. And now that they have become adults, I am not wholly self-sufficient. I need help, support, and guidance I receive from my higher power. When I catch myself struggling with a problem today, I will let go of it long enough to ask for help."


Sometimes I become so busy starting at my problems that I miss the guidance I'm being given. When I become willing to let go of the need to do it myself, I can listen to my direction from my higher power. I become better able to move beyond my problems and start solving them. letting go, and letting God handle my turmoil, lifestyle and actions has always been the hardest thing to accomplish.


"Life holds so much--so much to be happy about always. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can be felt only if you don't set conditions."


"Let Go, Let God"
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Currently listening:
Boston - Greatest Hits
By Boston
Release date: 1997-06-03
May 16, 2008 - Friday 

Current mood:PAIN
Category: Religion and Philosophy
true Guidance is to the-point. True Divine guidance is very direct and to the-point. It doesn't waste words, or give you ambiguous messages since Godwants you to understand its meaning clearly. False guidance beats around the bush and gives more rationalizations than an anxious sales person. False guidance peppers you with words, all tinged with fear and anxiety.

True Guidance comes suddenly and completely. True Guidance often comes as a complete chunk of information out of the blue, usually in response to prayer and or meditation.

One test of whether your guidance is true or false is to retrace your steps in thinking. Is there a chain of thoughts that led you to your guidance? This is usually guidance coming from the lower self-esteem. Higher-self guidance may come in response to a question you ask, but it usually doesn't have a trail of thoughts leading to it. For instance, you suddenly think about your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, whom you haven't seen in years. Is it true Divine Guidance that is trying to tell you to call that person?

To find out, trace your thoughts backward from the point where you thought of the person. With false Guidance, you'll discover, for instance, that you first thought of a movie star, which reminded you of an old movie in which he starred, which made you recall going to the drive-in theater, which then brought up memories of your ex-lover. In True Divine Guidance, you think of the person out of the blue, without the trail leading up to the thought.

When the true self guides you, you'll play a different type of role.
True Guidance shows you scenarios in which you make a meaningful contribution with your natural talents.


"When Life Becomes a Book"
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Currently listening:
Baby I Love You: Greatest Hits
By Andy Kim
Release date: 1997-10-07
May 5, 2008 - Monday 

Current mood:  ashamed
Category: Blogging
May 2, 2008

I fell of the wagon (went into a drinking binge)and last night I've discovered that drinking doesn't mix well with my lifestyle, I've chosen to turn around and start climbing the ladder to recovery. I woke up this morning with a vision in my mind of a ladder, simpler to the one in the picture. My thoughts are to take one step at a time and put the past behind me. Also my boyfriend kicked me out of his house, I don't blame him I admit it is my fault, he doesn't like drinking, and that means the taste, and the smell of it, so now I am back to square A, because of the drinking. But today is a fresh start and a new beginning...




May 3, 2008
Sometimes the "ladder" seems to be impossible to reach, or even impossible to get to the next step. I manage to get to the second step...

This is my NEW "Linkback" feel free to place it on your blog page, and thanks ...
Struggling Parents
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May 4, 2008
Alcoholism becomes worse over time if drinking continues, and can lead to death or other serious medical problems. Like diabetes or depression, alcohol dependence can be treated if the person is able to admit to needing to be treated.

I've been suffering from this disease most of my life, its been a constant struggle each day. I've realized that towards the end of the day I become anxious, even anxiety occurs. Fast heart rate, shaky and so miserable , all I say to myself is "Just one drink"...it will ease this misery.

In order to face alcoholism and start on the road to recovery, you should have a basic understanding of the disease and its characteristics.

Alcoholism is usually defined by the following traits:

* A strong urge to consume alcohol, known also as craving. 1
* The inability to stop drinking, once started. 1
* A physical dependence involving withdrawal symptoms including nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety. 1
* An elevated tolerance to alcohol. 1


To understand how alcoholism might be affecting your life, take a look at the statements below. If three or more of them, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period, apply to you or you observe these traits in a family member or friend, you should consider talking to you doctor or healthcare provider.

* It takes more alcohol to get "high" than it did before.
* I have a few drinks to decrease my shakiness, nausea, or sweating.
* I can't stop drinking once I start.
* I spend a lot of time thinking about drinking.
* I have tried and failed to cut down or stop.
* I have alcohol-related medical or behavioral problems.
* I have cut down on social or professional activities in order to drink.
I have every trait listed, just about.

My favorite statement;
I have a few drinks to decrease my shakiness, nausea, or sweating.

AND
I spend a lot of time thinking about drinking.


Craving: A strong yearning or desire to consume or indulge in alcohol.

Addictive: The aspect of being biologically or psychologically habit-forming.

My boyfriend and I sat up for a few hours after the alcohol started to leave my system, he comforted me and told me that he'd help me to help myself. But he said (and everyone knows this) that I have to be willing to help myself, or it just won't work. I'm not using that as an excuse, its a fact.
I just have this persistent and compulsive need for alcohol.

Which basically means that I have a dependency for drinking.
I feel I can tell my boyfriend everything, but I tried to hide the drinking, but he smelt it on my breath, just as my kids did. I mean...how do you hide it? the breath gives it away. But maybe I wanted to get caught, maybe its a scream for help...
Anywho, I feel better about it, that I can talk to him and confide in him, and post the topic into my blog...




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My other blogs;
1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery











May 5, 2008
The other day me and my 2 youngest girls went shopping for a graduation dress, for my youngest daughter. We tried on hats and had fun trying on different dresses. She picked out a dress, earrings, and shoes all under 40 dollars. I'm proud of her, just as I am with all 3 of my girls and including my grandson, which I miss terribly...Click on the images to make them larger to view...

"And enjoy the pictures"

This is the dress she picked out





Sweet









Me and Michellie trying on crazy hats;









The sky is the limit...I'm on my 3rd step to recovery and I am feel great !!!

For those that have been following along with my progress in the recovery of my addiction, I am now on 3 , my link to step 2 is yesterday (Step 2). I was thinking
and Why? is it that people who are recovering from alcoholism get padded on the back when people who never touched it don't get acknowledged, Why is that?

Anywho...I decided NOT to make such a big deal about it, this will be my last ladder post.

Alcohol References;

Aolcoholism search
Drug addictions


The Courage To be Me

Graduation
Graduation search

Graduation Gowns search

I just copied and pasted these posts from my Google blogs, come visit me there sometime...love all of you !!! HUGS!!!








April 27, 2008 - Sunday 


Everyday its been a struggling with me and my addiction. Some days are just overwhelming that I've given in. Ican't explain it, other then my lifestyle needs improvement, and to search for happiness within myself. Forgiveness is the number one thing and then Happiness.

Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

Emily Dickinson:

All but Death, can be Adjusted—
Dynasties repaired—
Systems—settled in their Sockets—
Citadels—dissolved—

Wastes of Lives—resown with Colors
By Succeeding Springs—
Death—unto itself—Exception—
Is exempt from Change—

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: "Am I willing to waste my energy further on this matter?" If the answer is "No," then that's it! All is forgiven.

Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.

Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim.

There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. Nothing!

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Mahatma Gandhi

When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive for "their" sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they would come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact that some people will never do that. That is their choice. They do not NEED to be forgiven. They did what they did and that is it - except for the consequences, which THEY must live with.


"The only upside of anger is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they are not afraid of the journey. Someone that knows that the truth, is at best, a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and sits and in it's wake leaves a new chance of acceptance and the promise of calm."
From the movie, "The Upside of Anger" starring
Kevin Coster and Joan Allen


Forgiveness is the most important single process that brings peace to our soul and harmony to our life.

Finally..I think I learned how to create a link back for my ad to go in other blogs, check it out !!!





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February 21, 2008 - Thursday 

Current mood:  thankful
Category: Blogging
Camera crazy !!!

Me and him


Peek a boo


camera hoggin'


Him and me


He didn't think I caught him on camera, but I did...haha


me and my baby


Me, but this picture could of been lightened.


My mothers dog "Lovey" in picture block form.


Taking picture with mirror image, click on picture to enlarge.



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Currently listening:
Long Road Out Of Eden
By Eagles
February 7, 2008 - Thursday 

Current mood:  busy
Category: Blogging
CLICK ON IMAGES TO MAKE LARGER;


Currently working on an afhgan for my oldest daughter, I just have 3 edgings to do, I'll finish it off with the picot stitch and then send it to her.


Up close you can see that the center stitch is a popcorn stitch flower.


I awoke at 5am, my boyfriend was already awake and he was playing with my sleeping mind. He giggles when he teases me, asking me questions and so on while I am still in my sleepy state of mind. He has changed since I told him I was getting my own place. He is more lovable and attentive...

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Currently listening:
Eden (US Release - 16 tracks)
By Sarah Brightman
Release date: 20 April, 1999
February 5, 2008 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  blessed
Category: Blogging
I've been thinking that the reason I've been depressed is because I've been depressed for so long, it just becomes a habit. Its almost like I am in a bad habit. Maybe I become to liking being depressed, and that sounds strange. I need to stay focused on happiness, I feel I deserve it. Once I become happy with myself and surroundings I feel I'll become happy and good things will come to me. Do people actually enjoy being depressed?

Writing about depressed poetry is a lot easier then writing about happiness, because I've written peotry about depression for so long.

I sept well last night but a woke up with my feet on fire, burning, I had to take my socks off, and my boyfriend was still awake. He says he doesn't understand why he has such a hard time sleeping. I think its because he eats to much sugar, and he is a diabetic.

I am getting kind of burnt out on blogging, its not that I don't know what to blog about, its just motivation to blog the posts.

Well now I will post the "BIG BANG MASTER LIST". Its amazing how long its getting and my ranking with technorati authority are going up in an amazing speed 349, when just a couple day ago it was 59...I believe its working, but I think that the ones you add to the list that you should technorati favorite them too...then watch what happening...anywho, I'll stopping blabbing and get to posting the BIG BANG LIST;

*Start Copy Here*You do not have to be tagged to play along. This game is simple and so are the rules.
1. Copy from *Start Copy Here* through *End Copy Here*
2. Add your site(s) to the list. Just be sure to post at each site you add.
3. Tag or don't tag, your choice, however, the more tags you create the bigger the list will grow.
4. Let me know your blog's name and url by leaving me a comment HERE. I will add you to the master list. (If you would like a scroll box code, leave me your email address and I will email it to you.) Scroll Box Example. (I decided not to use the box for the Big Bang for ease of copying.)
5. Come back and copy the master list back to your site, often. This process will allow late-comers to get as much link benefit as the first ones in. Once you are on the master list people who have participated earlier will update their bookmarks and help everyone lower than them out on the list.
1-Attitude, the Ultimate Power 2-Juliana's Site 3-Rusin Roundup 4-Grow Rich Along With Me 5-Comedy Plus 6-lynda's loft 7-Amel's Realm 8-MAX 9-Speedcat Hollydale 10-Mariuca 11-Complain Complain Complain 12-Mariuca's Perfume Gallery 13-Life Is A Roller Coaster 14-Sugar Queen's Dream 15-First Time Dad 16-Life 17-My Life 18-The Painted Veil 19-My Thoughts 20-DatCurious.com 21-Little Aussie Cynic 22-A Nice Place in the Sun 23-DatMoney.com 24-The Down Side OF Up 25-Ladyjava's Lounge 26-Cat Tales 27-moms.....check nyo 28-Colorado Baby 29-It's a Woman's World 30-ENLIGHTENED BITS 31-My View of "It" 32-My Reviews and Finds Along the Way 33-Our Hep Chat 34-Rantings of a Woman 35-The Callalily Space 36-Mom Knows Everything 37-Hazel 38-Chronicles and Tales Unlimited (RED) 39-From the Mouth of Jabber Jaws 40-Sunny Side Up Foodie & Lifestyle 41-Carmel Corn 42-Daily Stock Picks 43-The Whole New World 44-Wifespeak 45-Slavery Bliss 46-Rooms of My Heart 47-Unpredictable Life 48-My Life, My World 49- At Your Service 50-All About Ebay 51-Everything Amazon 52-Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out 53-My So-Called Site 54-New Wife Blog 55-Tendre Poison 323 56-Nick's Bytes 57-My Scratch Pad 58-Choc Mint Girl 59-Life Is Just Around the Corner... 60-Amori, poseia, art... virtuali by Hanna 61-Maryannaville 62-monaco - monaco's 63-Nyumix's Blog 64-read my mind - my keyboard monologues 65-Shower You Children With Love - The Right Way 66-Secret Agent Mama 67-Pinaymama's Diary 68-Answers to the Questions 69-Work of the Poet 70-A Total Blog 71-My life, my hope, my future 72-NORTE 73-A Window to Our World 74-Life as a Mom 75-FIELD OF DREAMS 76-lisgold 77-See Me for What You 78-Caught in The Stream 79-Pinay Mommy Online - My Home 80-foster me up 81-CRUEL VIRGIN 82-Garden of Moments in Blog 83-So Cute 84-Love Everlasting 85-WeLcOmE To My CriB 86-WELCOM TO PINAYSMILE'S JOURNEY 87-Ice's Icelog 88-Jenny's Wandering Thoughts 89-Hobbies and Such 90-Sweet Paradise 91-Mommy's Gibble Gabbles 92-Rusin Review's 93-My Small World 94-Little Peanut 95-Online Ramblings 96-My Mood My Feeling 97-BLOG it with ALLEN 98-Entertainment World 99-Let's Go Singapore 100-Firelynx 101-Catsy Carpe Diem 102-Every Beat Of My Heart 103-Always Da Fresh Princess 104-Listening.. 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Currently listening:
Eagles - Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975
By Eagles
Release date: 25 October, 1990
January 31, 2008 - Thursday 

Current mood:  exhausted
Category: Blogging
I'm not very good with this picture alternating...

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Check out the picture and then read my post;

I have 2 dead beat Dads, one is the dad to my oldest daughter Jill. He lives in the backyard of his parents house and the other is the Dad to my other 2 daughters, none in which pays child support and the one that is the Dad to my 2 youngest daughters still keeps in contact with them, lives with one of his sisters and cleans her house to stay there. You ask yourself how much are your kids worth, and my 2 youngest daughters child support is 600 a month if he'd pay it and the other is only 250 a month and I am only receiving 50 every other month from the the oldest Daughters Dad. What a joke. I would try and pay it if I was the one to pay it because my kids are worth more then 850 a month. But how do they get away with it? the system sucks !!!

This has been eating at me more and more and especially sense the Dad to my 2 youngest daughters came to town to borrow 1,000 from my daughter Alex when he hasn't even been paying any child support, but my daughter states that she couldn't say NO...it might hurt his feelings, but he has a gambling problem and thats is the main reason why we got a divorce, now what do you think he will do with the money? Gamble it? or do what he says he is going to do and start his own business? I am burning up inside but I can't say anything. I did tell him how much of a loser he is for borrowing money from her when she needed it to pay her own bills, she goes to college and works, has her own place and pays bills. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

I guess I am just having a bad day ;(





1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery



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January 22, 2008 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  frustrated
Category: Blogging
For all of you know, I am currently homeless and I thought of an idea but I am not sure if this will work. First of all, I have my computer connected at my daughters one bedroom apartment and that is how I blog. I am trying to earn a living on the internet but due to the bulging disks in my neck it makes it difficult to sit for long periods of time.

To make a long story short, I've been staying with my boyfriends house but it has no heat and he doesn't want my teenager to live there either because she is a teenager, and you know teenager will do what teenagers do. I've tried to look for a place that I can handle for around 350 dollars a month and I can't seem to find anything for that amount, so I'm thinking that buying a trailer ( a small trailer, maybe 18ft and can even be used, It doesn't bother me) the price of around lower then 10 grand and more of around 6,000 of course but my credit is very bad. I sound desperate and that only because I am homeless and seems to be the only way I think I could survive. My income is only $524 a month.



It started with me being on workers Compensation, they just up and quit sending me any payments and the last check was for 64 dollars and they said the was the last one, the letter was with the check, and then I ran out of permanent disability..bummer.you think permanent means permanent? no, it runs out..so I am stress because I'd like to find something for me and my daughter to live in and I've lived in a 5th wheel before where I had to change and fill the tanks of propane and do maintenance on it. I am frustrated and requesting some of you help towards my way. If you could donate into my pay pal account by clicking on the Pay Pal button and follow instruction on how to donate, I would be so appreciated and thankful.

I see website that have donate button through pay pal and its not that difficult to set up an account if you don't already have one. So I will leave the link below and think about it and try to donate even if its just 10 dollars, I don't like to say I am desperate or possibly selfish, but I am homeless and my boyfriends house is very old and very cold in the winters and very hot in the summers, its like having no walls. I could live in the trailer for the rest of my life and be happy and comfortable, I miss my 5th wheel and dreaded ever selling it. Thanks you very much and God Bless you !!!

















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January 19, 2008 - Saturday 

Current mood:  sad
Category: Writing and Poetry
Its crazy how the world turns now
children making adult decision
for the adult actions they have done
taking a life, or giving a life
for she, herself is just a child
desiring a love from a boy
the boys penis becomes his brain
persuasion to say that he loves her
and the only way that he says to show him
is to give herself up to him
she makes that choice not really knowing what love is
but now she has a life growing within her
still a child herself
and he is just a boy
he has no responsibility
telling her the decision is all her own
she has to save a little life or end it
and he doesn't have to do nothing
so she realizing that she is to young
and now she has to live with that choice
and his penis remains in his brain
and that hurt will live in her forever