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My parents have been married for almost 44 years. I am blessed. I know that. I remember as a little girl (4 or 5 years old) my mom would walk my dad to the door of our house and kiss him goodbye for the day of work. I remember LOVING seeing my parents kiss each other. It brought such stability to my little girl heart. I knew I was safe. Everyday, I would squeeze into the middle of my parents and watch my dad kiss my mom. It was beautiful and it was perfect.

This past weekend we had our monthly BURN (extended time of worship and prayer). Before I get too far into this, I want to share that over the past few months, we have begun seeing miracles take place. One example is of a little boy who had severe asthma (he had it at the time he came into the BURN back in February) and while he was sitting in that environment, he was healed. Up to that point, he could not run without having difficulty breathing. I was not "in the know" at that point, but all of the sudden, this little boy was running around the entire room. I honestly thought, "What is going on?" But having been in children's ministry for a while, I really don't pay much attention to things like that. I know how kids can be. And hey, BURN is a place of freedom so, as long as he wasn't screaming or anything, I thought what the heck... LOL It wasn't until about an hour later that I was told that this boy had been healed of his asthma and that he was simply so excited about what God had done that he couldn't stop running! He hadn't been able to run in a long time! Sounds like something straight out of the early church days, huh? Remember the lame man walking, leaping and praising God?? We are experiencing HEAVEN KISSING EARTH and just like when I was a little girl, I wanted to be right in the middle of my parent's kiss, as a woman, I want to be right in the middle of heaven kissing earth! It is BEAUTIFUL and it is PERFECT!

God has really been dealing with me about resting in His presence. So often, we feel like we aren't "doing" enough. I've personally been soaking in a soaking class (that's the best way I can describe what we do) on Wednesday nights and I have found such POWER in that. It is offensive to the religious mind. How in the world can BURN be advertised the way it needs to be or be introduced to new people or be funded the way it needs to be if the leaders are soaking and resting all the time? I don't know... but I do know that God is doing the work while I rest and soak in His presence. The economy of Heaven is SO different than our earthly economy. Which is good, huh? The ways of God are so contrary to the ways of man. All I know is that since God has laid it on my heart to do this, the doors of provision are FLYING open. And the bonus of all of this is that in that time of resting in Him, He empowers us to be witnesses of His power and His authority. IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!! IT'S ABOUT HIM!! We all get to be in the smack middle of heaven kissing earth!

I will be honest here. I tend to be the type of person who runs around always "doing" and very rarely "resting". Usually during a BURN weekend, I am going ninety - to - nothing trying to do everything that needs to be done. I feel pressure to make sure everyone is comfortable when they come in. I want to make sure that they are happy. That they aren't "bored". There was something different about me this month. THANK GOD! I no longer felt the need to MAKE this happen. I simply laid on the chairs in that sanctuary and rested and soaked and meditated in the presence of God. Every time my mind would begin to wander and begin thinking of things to do, He would speak ever so gently to me and say, "Lay your head back down. I'm big enough to take care of it. Rest." And so, I would lay back down. And I honestly didn't care what people thought. "Is she asleep? Unbelievable. The person who is in charge of this thing is actually ASLEEP! What a lousy hostess!" LOL I was spending time with my DADDY! And it was WONDERFUL!

While I was lying there , we had a woman come in who was NOT expecting anything big to happen in her life. The story was so similar to one that had happened to a group of friends of ours about a month prior. SHE DID NOT KNOW WHAT SHE WAS WALKING INTO! We're talking there were people there who were lying all over the place. This woman, along with her two children came into the BURN. They were in need. She didn't want to ask for money. She simply was wondering if we knew of a place that she could spend the night and wait for some help on Sunday. All of the shelters that we knew of were completely full and the ones who probably had more information than I did, were closed on Saturdays. The only reason the building we were in (Cornerstone Outreach - an outreach center for helping those in need) was open was because we were BURNING. Under normal circumstances, it would have been closed. God DEFINITELY had an appointment with this woman! After talking with her after a few moments, we realized that all she needed was a gas card. There were people there who had the means to not only bless her and her children with a gas card, but also with groceries to ensure that they were as comfortable as possible on their trip. We also were able to minister to her while she waited in that atmosphere. GOD MET HER THERE! I love when God sets us up to be blessed! I love that when we least expect it, HE SHOWS UP!

The POWER that God gives to those who WAIT ON HIM is incredible! It breaks the yoke of bondage! You see when we lay aside all of our human ideas and human ways of doing things, God begins to show us that it is truly only by Him and through Him that anything of any consequence is accomplished. The earth is the LORD's and the fullness thereof!! IT ALL BELONGS TO HIM! And He refuses to share the praise that is rightfully His with us. He will not allow a human to steal His thunder! So, we rest, acknowledging that we are nothing without Him. And in that submission, He shows up BIG TIME! God, may I never forget. The power to be everything You've called me to be is only found in setting aside my best effort and resting in You. HEAVEN IS KISSING EARTH and I'm caught in the middle and loving it!

Live Life Loud!
~Sandy

This post is very difficult to write, but it is necessary for me. I love the Christmas season and this year is no different, but there is a bitter sweetness to it this year...

I don't write very much about my Grandmother. I guess partly because I don't really like to talk about what is happening with her and I just don't want to "go there" in my thoughts. My Granny has Alzheimers. Can I just say how much I HATE this disease? My Granny is my last living grandparent. She lost her husband (my Granddad) back in 1970 to kidney disease. He was, I believe, 46 years old. I may be a couple of years off. I know he was very young. My mom had just had my brother. My Granny still had my uncles at home who were 5 years old and 12 years old at the time. Needless to say, it was a very traumatic time. I never knew my Granddad. I've been told I look a lot like him. He was a pastor and a mailman. I'm sure my Granny loved him dearly. She talks about him quite a bit these days. My Granny never remarried. She is FIERCLY independent. That can be good in some respects, but definitely not all. God never intended us to live secluded from one another and unwilling to have anyone help us out. Unfortunately (or fortunately... however way you want to look at it), her independence is a thing of the past and she is having to rely more and more on all of us. She doesn't like it.

This year, my Granny has made a steady decline. It has happened so fast. And tonight, as I have most of my life, we will celebrate not only Christmas Eve together as a family, but my Granny's birthday. I'm having to come to the realization that this could, quite honestly, be her last. I hate thinking of it. I haven't allowed myself to think about it... But there it is. The "knowing" that life is short. Death is just part of life. Our lives are changing yet again. The pages of this book that is called life, just keep turning.

The beautiful thing that has happened during this time is that we have all become much more affectionate with Granny. We are quicker to hug her. Granny wasn't real big on hugs that much.... until here lately. She is SO tiny. She's 4'10" or something around that and weighs a whopping 85 pounds. She's tiny. And honestly, I feel like I'm going to crush her every time I hug her. But I can't stop hugging on her. I do NOT ever miss a chance to hug her and tell her I love her. Like I said, life is too short.

Granny has lived a great long life. I'm a blessed woman and I come from a blessed family. Tonight is a special night. I pray this isn't the last "normal" Christmas Eve. But if it is, I will treasure these 37 years of memories I have. And if I am blessed with a long life like Granny, I will continue to make more memories with my children and eventually with my children's children and quite possibly with my children's children's children. Life is beautiful. I don't want it to just pass me by. Merry Christmas, everyone! Be Jesus to those around you this Christmas season!

Live Life Loud!
~Sandy

There are a couple of things that God has given me the ability to do and they are: 1) singing 2) being able to lead worship 3) teaching. None of these things I could possibly do on my own and I am not foolish to think that any of it is something I got on my own. These things are gifts from God. And I love using those abilities for His glory.

I was created for such a time as this. Plain and simple. All of us were.

Jeremy and I began leading worship about a year ago at a local outreach center here in Amarillo at least once a month. The people that show up at this outreach center every Friday at noon are ones who are desperately in need of food and clothing and honestly are having to sit through yet another Christian service to get a meal, groceries or clothing... or all of those things. The thing I love about going and leading worship there is every month, the people honestly don't expect much in the way of ministry during that time. They frankly want to get in and get out. I can't say I blame them. Today, somehow, it was different. What happened today has happened on a smaller scale over the past year during most times that we've led worship there. But today. Something special happened today.

For those of you who are worship leaders or pastors, have you ever noticed that there are times when you are standing on the platform and you get the feeling that the life has been sucked out of the room? Like you somehow are standing in front of people who aren't breathing... That's what was happening today. It was as if NO ONE was breathing. They were just there to simply make it just one more day. Little did they know what was about to happen. Heck! Little did I know what was about to happen!

Here's a great question. How do you get people who have almost nothing, as far as possessions go, to worship? Have you ever tried? I'm talking about some of these people that I was standing in front of today do not have a roof over their head and literally do not have a clue where their next meal is going to come from. How do you get them to open up their mouths and sing? How do you get them to hope again? How do you get them to look at themselves as something special? As a treasure? As someone of worth? The answer is, you don't. You can't. You see, there is nothing in and of myself that could possibly make someone want to worship. The only One who can draw worship out of a human heart is God. As I stood on the platform today, there came a point about 2 songs into the "song list" that God was up to something a little different. I love that. All of the sudden, I was prompted to say something. I began just talking to them. I began telling them about my love for wind chimes and how my wonderful husband bought me wind chimes for Mother's Day this year. In fact I know I wrote a blog about it. You can read it HERE. Anyway, I began to tell them how God spoke to me in my bathroom and how I cannot, for the life of me, figure out WHY He always likes to talk to me in the bathroom. The laughter came. The walls began falling. I then heard God saying, "Tell them how much I love them. Tell them how valuable they are to me. Tell them how I want them to dream again. How I want to breathe on them and make them make their own unique sound." I cannot describe to you what took place from 12:00pm - 12:30pm on December 12, 2008 in that outreach center. But what I can say about it is, the people began to breathe again. It was beautiful. And my heart will forever feel and remember what happened today. It brings tears to my eyes. I pray that the words that were spoken today will not be forgotten. But that the words that God spoke today to each heart would be fully embraced and remembered and grow in fertile soil in each heart.

It's good to breathe.

Live Life Loud!
~Sandy

So, what is it with competition and ministries? Seriously. This one
honestly stumps me. Why are we SO about trying to make a name for
ourselves that we just mow over everyone to get what we want? I believe
it's simply the insecurity that each of us as human beings struggle
with. We believe in our hearts that unless people know us or recognize
us that we are nothing. We completely miss the One who never overlooks us and who always recognizes and knows us... better than anyone else on planet earth. We are His treasures!

Take the Apostle Paul for instance. He is going about his business doing
what he's been called to do and seeing great fruit from it. All of the
sudden, there's another minister, Apollos, doing what he's been called
to do and uh oh! Now there's drama. Why? Because the people begin comparing the two. Note, Paul isn't comparing himself with Apollos and I don't believe (the Bible doesn't say anything about it) that Apollos is
comparing himself to Paul. They're simply each doing their own thing.
The people began fighting and arguing over who was greater! Unbelievable.
How sad is it that this type of stuff is still going on. Even when the
heads of ministries aren't comparing themselves to one another, the
people around them are. A friend of mine gave me this scripture to read
today and I about busted a gut reading it. It is so spot on! Take a
look. I know it's long, but it is SO worth the read! Paul is such a
hero of mine!

1 Corinthians 4 MSG
"Don't imagine us leaders to be something we aren't. We are servants of
Christ, not his masters. We are guides into God's most sublime secrets,
not security guards posted to protect them. The requirements for a good
guide are reliability and accurate knowledge. It matters very little to
me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I
don't even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless. I'm
not aware of anything that would disqualify me from being a good guide
for you, but that doesn't mean much. The Master makes that judgment.
So don't get ahead of the Master and jump to conclusions with your
judgments before all the evidence is in. When he comes, he will bring
out in the open and place in evidence all kinds of things we never even
dreamed of -- inner motives and purposes and prayers. Only then will
any one of us get to hear the "Well done!" of God.
All I'm doing right now, friends, is showing how these things pertain to Apollos and me so that you will learn restraint and not rush into making judgments without knowing all the facts. It's important to look at things from
God's point of view. I would rather not see you inflating or deflating
reputations based on mere hearsay. For who do you know that really knows you, knows your heart? And even if they did, is there anything they would
discover in you that you could take credit for? Isn't everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? So what's the point of all this comparing and competing? You already have all you need. You already have more access to God than you can handle. Without bringing either Apollos or me into it, you're sitting on top of the world -- at least  God's world -- and
we're right there, sitting alongside you.
It seems to me that God has put us who bear his Message on stage in a theater in which no one wants to buy a ticket. We're something everyone stands around and stares at like an accident in the street. We're the Messiah's misfits. You might be sure of yourselves, but we live in the midst of frailties and uncertainties. You might be well-thought-of by others, but we're
mostly kicked around. Much of the time we don't have enough to eat, we
wear patched and threadbare clothes, we get doors slammed in our faces,
and we pick up odd jobs anywhere we can to eke out a living. When they
call us names, we say, "God bless you." When they spread rumors about
us, we put in a good word for them. We're treated like garbage, potato
peelings from the culture's kitchen. And it's not getting any better.
I'm not writing all this as a neighborhood scold just to make you feel
rotten. I'm writing as a father to you, my children. I love you and
want you to grow up well, not spoiled. There are a lot of people around
who can't wait to tell you what you've done wrong, but there aren't
many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up.
It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God's Message to you that I became
your father. I'm not, you know, asking you to do anything I'm not
already doing myself.
This is why I sent Timothy to you earlier. He is also my dear son, and true to the Master. He will refresh your memory on the instructions I regularly give all the churches on the way of Christ.
I know there are some among you who are so full of themselves they never listen to anyone, let alone me. They don't think I'll ever show up in person. But I'll be there sooner than you think, God willing, and then we'll see if they're full of anything but hot air. God's Way is not a matter of mere talk, it's an empowered life.
So how should I prepare to come to you? As a severe disciplinarian who
makes you toe the mark? Or as a good friend and counselor who wants to
share heart-to-heart with you? You decide.

There is so much in that chapter that it's going to take me a while to digest it all. Let's stop competing shall we?

Live Life Loud!
~Sandy

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends watching movies ("You'll shoot your eye out..."), playing games and simply hanging out and laughing and just generally having a fabulous time. I've come to the conclusion that if I am busier during a holiday than I am during my normal life, there is something wrong and I need to reevaluate how my family "holidays". Needless to say, it was fairly laid back this past weekend! Of course, now I'm dealing with a cold, but all in all, it has been a fantastic time. Christmas here we come!

As all of you know by now (if you've been reading anything from me over the past 3 or 4 years) Jeremy and I both were practically born on a church pew. Both of our parents were in leadership positions in those said churches and of course, when we became adults ourselves, we went into full time ministry, so needless to say, we've seen a lot. Some good. Some not so good. It's been a great learning experience whether we thought it was or not at the time. One of the things that I have seen throughout the past 17 years is this gigantic lie that most people who are not in leadership in a church believe. And I'm going to lay the blame for the most part squarely on those of us who are in leadership for perpetuating this lie. I have watched as church members and church attenders have been told (and if not told directly, very much implied) that they can not hear God. And that if they think they are hearing God, they need to get someone else (preferably the leader's) input (permission) before obeying (doing) what they believe God has instructed. I am all about communication. Please don't misunderstand me here. I believe we are to be in close enough relationship with one another that we feel comfortable enough to discuss issues with one another. But, here's the main problem I have with this way of thinking; The Bible is very clear (Jesus himself spoke these words) that a shepherd's sheep know that shepherd's voice. They can decipher between a stranger's voice and the shepherd's voice. The shepherd that Jesus is talking about is Himself. The strange voice is anything else (ie. Satan, our own voice, another person, our own will, our mind, etc.). If you are a follower (disciple) of Jesus Christ, you know His voice. If you don't think you know His voice, how in the world did you know to open your life to Him? The Holy Spirit drew you. You had to be able to hear His voice, right? When anyone makes you feel like you can't hear for yourself... that you are somehow not on the same level as them spiritually speaking, that is EXTREMELY dangerous. In fact, I will go out a limb and say that kind of mentality is antichrist. Whenever someone sets themselves up in a place as being able to hear more about you than you hear for yourself, they are setting themselves up as your savior. As the one who somehow has a stronger connection with God. Which is a lie.

As a leader, I have had to walk this one out. The temptation that all of us have as human beings is the need to control. There have been instances in my life where I could see something a little clearer than someone else and I could tell that this person was headed in the wrong direction. Usually at that point, I would go into freak out mode and want to save that person. I would suddenly want to put a "death grip" on someone and I would try and "force" them to make the "right" decision. However, I have learned that as a leader, I need to talk with the person and tell them the red flags that I am seeing. Then I should say, "I'm not God. I trust that you hear from God and I also trust that if you make a wrong decision, God is there to correct it." Here's the beautiful thing about that. The pressure's off! Yes, it is uncomfortable at first to let go and allow someone else to hear God for themselves. But we either believe God or we don't on this one. Do we honestly think that God is big enough to handle people without us? That is a stupid question, but you would be amazed how our actions say just that. We do NOT believe that God is big enough to take care of people. I understand wanting to help people make the right decision... but there is a difference in "helping" and "forcing". God himself doesn't even force a person to make the right decision. Why do we? I can tell you that this has been REVOLUTIONARY to me. I first encountered this with Jeremy when at 5 years of marriage we were quickly headed towards the road to divorce. I was trying as hard as I could to be the Holy Spirit. I was constantly telling Jeremy what he should do and what he shouldn't do and how he should act and not act and the list goes on and on. It was AWFUL. I remember sitting in my parent's house crying out to God saying, "Why won't you do anything? Why won't you make him do what he's supposed to do? Why am I the only one who even cares?" And God spoke so clearly to me, "You are not me. You have never been me and you will never be me. Do you trust me? Do you believe that I created Jeremy and that I love him more than you love him?" I answered, "Yes." Then He said, "Then move out of the way. Stop talking to him. Stop preaching at him. I don't need your help." Talk about a spanking of a lifetime and a blow to the ol' ego. I know it works because I obeyed what God told me to do and I'm still married. :) I also know it works because I began letting go of the death grip I had on people around me and I began to trust God with them. No matter how hard I tried to hang on to things, inevitably they would wriggle out of my hands. They can never wriggle out of God's hands.

I guess the point of this post is, yes, you can hear God's voice and we who are in leadership need to allow the people around us to have that learning process with God.

"Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he's up to no good—a sheep rustler! The shepherd walks right up to the gate. The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. They won't follow a stranger's voice but will scatter because they aren't used to the sound of it."(John 10:1-5 MSG)

Live Life Loud!
~Sandy

I absolutely LOVE the autumn season! I love the way the leaves are changing color and the north wind begins to blow and everyone begins bundling up in their heavy coats... simply beautiful. The holiday season is quickly approaching.

A few nights ago, I had a dream that left me changed. I won't go into specifics, but as I was waking up, the verse, "This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." (John 13:35 MSG) dropped into my heart with a crash. I've learned from past experiences that this was something God wanted me to study out and really get in me. I know we all think we know this. Heck... my initial thought was, "Duh." But obviously I was missing something. My first stop was 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter) and I wanted to read it in a different translation than I had grown up on, so I grabbed The Message. I then began to list out the character traits of love.

Love:
1) never gives up.
2) cares more for others than for self.
3) doesn't want what it doesn't have.
4) doesn't strut.
5) doesn't have a swelled head.
6) doesn't force itself on others.
7) isn't always "me first."
8) doesn't fly off the handle.
9) doesn't keep score of the sins of others.
10) doesn't revel when others grovel.
11) takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.
12) puts up with anything.
13) trusts God always.
14) always looks for the best.
15) never looks back.
16) keeps going to the end.
17) never dies

That list right there is the litmus test of a true disciple of Jesus. I understand slipping up and failing to show love in some instances. But can I just be really blunt? If our lives are not lining up with that list, we seriously need to begin looking at ourselves and questioning whether or not we truly are disciples of Jesus. There are so many people who are walking around labeling themselves as disciples of Jesus and all they do is criticize and judge and treat people badly. That is NOT Christianity. In fact, the Bible says that they are not His disciples. He has no relationship with them. That is some heavy stuff right there. We as followers of Jesus should be the most grace-filled people on the planet. We should be the ones who are not looking at everyone else and magnifying their faults and failures. Instead, we should be in constant self examination mode. "Where am I failing in my love walk? Where am I not submitting to the Spirit of God? How would Jesus handle this situation? Where would he go if He was walking in my city? How would he look at this person that is causing me such pain?" I know I have fallen dreadfully short of showing love way too often. The thing about true Godly love is that it is not something that I can make myself have or show. It is purely the work of the Holy Spirit. Only God can change a human heart to look and beat and be like His. There is no way a human can make themselves be sympathetic to another human being without the Spirit of God doing the work inside. We're selfish by nature. We want it our way when we want it. True love looks at another person as valuable and loved by God and whom God can speak to and work in. This is one of the hardest things for we as Christians to grasp; I'm not the only one God has a relationship with... and He can and does speak to others... not just me. We are all just pieces of the puzzle. None of us has the whole picture... we just have parts of the picture. That's why it is so vital for us to stop trying to compete with one another and trying to vie for position. We are each unique. And we each have something to offer the Kingdom of God. We need to give each other the grace to be and do and accomplish what each of us were called to do. It may not look like what you are called to do. And that's BEAUTIFUL. Unity in our diversity... how BEAUTIFUL! I really believe that what God is saying to us all is to embrace who He created you to be. It doesn't have to look like anyone else. You don't have to sing or write or speak or paint or dance like anyone else. He created YOU to declare His glory to the world around you. Be you. You're beautiful.

God, teach me the way of love. Do the work in my heart that only you can do. Help me to be Your hands and feet to the people around me. And as I obey You, let others see that it's only through You that there is anything good in me. Work deep in every heart who reads this. May we be who You've called and created us to be.

Live Life Loud!
~Sandy

I have noticed something pretty interesting. Having been raised in a more charismatic denomination, women were not looked down on for teaching and preaching. It's just something that I was around a lot so I honestly don't even give it a second thought. I just wanted to share that so that anyone who reads this post will understand that small fact about me before proceeding. Anyway, on with the writing... I just want to share something. I LOVE to teach and preach. Something happens when I stand up and begin teaching or preaching. I believe that it is the anointing of God on me. I believe that as I open my mouth, God uses me to speak forth words that I honestly don't think I could ever be smart enough to put together. It literally bubbles up within me and I cannot contain it. I've asked my husband if this is something that he experiences when he teaches and preaches. He described the exact same thing. SO... here's where I'm going with this...

Having been raised by leaders in the church and having been in ministry for most of my life, I have watched people (and myself for that fact) begin teaching and preaching and they completely turn off their own ears to what they are teaching and preaching. I really believe this happens a LOT. I have been feeling really convicted about this. As Jeremy and I have been talking about this subject lately, I have decided that if God can use a donkey to talk (Numbers 22) and he can use anyone or anything to say what He wants to say, shouldn't we as teachers or preachers understand that we need to listen and obey the words that are coming out of our own mouths? Shouldn't we be one of the first people in line to pick up a recording of our sermons? I know from my own experience that just because I am preaching something does not necessarily mean that I have all understanding of it. Now, don't get me wrong. I believe that you must have understanding before you go and open your mouth telling and compelling others to follow what you're saying. But can I just be honest with all of the leaders out there? If your words and your actions are not lining up, you need to take a break and get your life in order. You are causing the Kingdom of God great damage. People honestly don't care a hill of beans about what all you know and what all you say. They care about how you treat your wife/husband... your children.... your co-workers... the people around you... your enemies (ouch!)... etc.

A few days ago, my husband began working on our new ministry website and I was going through some of my blogs. I couldn't believe what was happening in me as I was reading through some of the things my own fingers had typed out! God was ministering to me through me. Wow! It was at that moment that I realized, I need to really quit thinking that just because I'm writing something or teaching something means that I've perfected that. We're all human. We all have bad days. And we all need encouragement. My own words and the words that I believe God gave me to type sunk deep into my spirit. So today my encouragement to each of us who are leaders in the Kingdom of God is that we need to get over ourselves and understand that we need to listen (and hear) what our mouths are saying and what our fingers are typing. Allow the words to change our hearts too.

Live Life Loud!
~Sandy