Whose with me?
                          YEEE HAW!
Goddamit, I said Whose with me?

My Favorite Clubs I have worked:

1. Go Bananas Cincinnati, Ohio

This is my home club so it already has an unfair advantage, but I can't deny that this will always be my favorite club. I started doing comedy here. I learned how to start a show at this room, and even lived upstairs for a few months. It will forever be my comedy home.

2. Jokeboy's Ocala, Florida (Closed)

I worked the last weekend this club was open, it was very bittersweet. The reason I loved this room was because the way I was treated and how good I felt after the weekend was over. I worked it four times, and every time I was in a great mood about comedy. It made me want to perform even more than I already do. I have had my two best Feature sets at this room. Brain, the booker/owner, really helped me and I am forever grateful for that.

3. Chicago Improv Schaumburg, Illinois

This is a giant room, 450 seat+, but I fell at home when I work their. The club treats you really well, and it really translates to a comfortable performance.  The crowds are good, not great, but if you have a good show the response is amazing. It may sound strange, but the have the best tasting bottled water in the world. It also has the best tasting comedy club food I have ever had.

4. Joke Joint Bloomington, Minnesota

  It is small room in a Ramada Inn, which you would think would be a disastrous setup for comedy, but it is a really fun room. They work with what they have and pull it off great. They are friendly to the comics and the crowds listen very well. 

5. Heorot: Muncie, Indiana (Closed)

This isn't a comedy club, but it was a one nighter in a college town on a Monday in a dark beer hall. The shows were wonderful for me. I played it four times and my first show was the only one that didn't go great. I blame that I was nervousness. It was a room of younger adults who for the most part would listen and let you go anywhere you wanted to go. It was wonderful for comics who might not get the chance to headline to do so. 

My Least Favorite Club

1. Comedy Tennessee: Memphis, Tennessee (Closed)

I liked the owners and the staff. They treated you well and were nice people. The crowds who made me hate the place, but to be fair I think they hated me and much I didn't like them. The club was in a tough neighborhood, and the hotel wasn't the greatest, except the breakfast bar, which was top notch.  I did 5 feature sets at the club. 1 went good, 2 went okay, and 2 were terrible. Those 2 for whatever reason, I did something that made two women actually the phrase, " I want to stab you!" Needless to say, I hope for the best for the owners, but as for the city, that is different story.

Myspace. You really had a good run about 5 to 6 years you were the place to be (or the place for friends) but you have hit some hard times. Some might blame this on the economy, but I think it goes deeper than that. I wish you could blame it on George Bush but that doesn't seem to fit either. Could it be that Myspace got too content with being hip that it stopped trying and then lost it's once loyal fan base, or could it be that it started advertising like crazy and allowing a ton of spam mail enraging it's patrons and causing them to go on a soul searching pilgrimage that led them to Facebook? 

  I don't have all the answers, but I do hope that states besides Washington pass laws allowing assisted suicide to be legal so we can let Myspace go out with dignity and not draw out it's long painful decline like previous internet sensations like AIM, and Napster. 

  What is this, I think I just figured out what did it!!!! I blame the fall of Myspace on the trailer for the movie, He Is Just Not That In To You. 

  In that trailer, an actor utters the line, " Myspace is the new booty call." The phrase not only doesn't make sense, and is not funny, it opened the eyes of millions to how stupid the website had become, thus causing an internet breakdown. People left daily by the tens of thousands. Myspace should sue Greg Behrendt the writer of the film for slander. That line single handedly took down a modern American Icon. Stay strong Myspace! Win your case and then take that money and revamp your site. You can do it, I believe in you.

-Matt

MILK was really good. I just saw it at the Uptown Theatre in Minneapolis, MN. Most bio flicks have some slow boring parts, but this had great flow and though it was 128 minutes long, I never would of guessed it. Sean Penn was solid. I still believe Heath Ledger will and should win Best Actor 2008, but Penn will be nominated. This could be a Best Picture nomination as well. Go see it.

My president joke has made it to one of my favorite websites. www.hulu.com. When you go there to watch old episodes of Arrested Development, stop by and watch me too.


http://www.hulu.com/watch/36967/election-humor-other-black-presidents

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TOO THE WHITE MEAT!!!

Blog 1
Carlos Mencia has a new special coming out this weekend on Comedy Central. The commercials for it have him calling George Bush a retard. WHAT?!?! How edgy! How can he say that when his term has been only 7 and a half years.
That is as edgy as waiting for Joe Rogan to tell you someone steals jokes.

Blog2
I was driving this weekend and I got behind a minivan that had a TV screen in it. The person infront of me was playing Tetris. That got me excited b/c I love that game. The problem was that they were awful at it. I was bissed. Don't show off that you have something better than me and then suck at it.
On the more positive side, maybe the parent knows the kid is bad at it, and is forcing him to go around town getting better at it. He is one of those overbearing parents who forces the kid to do things it doesn't want.
"Goddamnit, I want 30 lines cleared or no dinner!"

I like this joke. watch it.

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/WhiteTrashAndRedneckEntertainment

I just got a job at a coffee shop, and for the hip hop fans, no, I am not selling coke. It is a great job with good people. I don't know them well enough to classify them as great people yet, but we'll see. It is located in what people call a "liberal neighborhood" which means it is a gay neighborhood. When people say a liberal neighborhood they don't talk about politics, it means thats where "the boys live"
In my travels, I have come to the conclusion that if you are from the suburbs your view of the world is not very open minded. I had a friend, Branden who everyone thought was gay when I was growing up. He dressed nice and was well kempt, so by suburbs standards he was considered gay. "You wear hair gel and don't fart in public! String that queen up!"
They had never seen a "real" gay person (or so they thought), except on TV. If you watched "Will and Grace" on Thursday and that is all you had to go on for who was gay, I could see how in your vanilla world any differenceis scary. Do yourself a favor and walk by a night club called, THE SERPENT and a person like my friend Branden will look a lot more hetro than before. It is true that not all gay people are sex-crazed bondage wearing perverts, but if you are going tomake a judgement on a person, why don't you see the both sides of the extremes,so you can better make your judgements, even more so maybe you will see that a person different than you isn't sobad. Hopefully, that would work,or a close minded bible hugger's head will explode.