Yes, it is I, Muggers the cute and all powerful kitty. I'm still hanging in there despite losing my virginity to a less than worthy dame and then having my naughty bits removed the very next day by a less than reputable vet. If I ever find Bob Barker Ima goin' Egyptian kitty god all over his ass. Yes, despite these miserable setbacks (and the fact that Josh hasn't had internet access for over a year), I am more than ready to take my rightful place as ruler of this world. First thing I'm going to do today is poop under the couch, way in back so it goes unnoticed for a month. Then I shall eat my food. Fear me, my slaves! Muggers the master has returned!

Okay, so today wasn't too bad...pretty nice.  Things were quiet, boring...how things should be in the middle of a small hick Utah human town.

However, I think the inbred cats staying outside are informants for my captors, for they seem to be watching my every move.  They aren't ever let into the house like yours truly, but I can feel their hatred.

My faithful follower Hipster, who is one of the neighborhood's only Siamese kitties, and I began contemplating what I was going to do when i ruled the world.  It was a question I was able to answer in five sentences:

1.  I shall rid the world of all idiotic wannabe rockstar teenage humans.  They annoy the heck out of me.

2. I shall give Drew Barrymore the finger (er...the paw) as I am marching down the streets of the NEW Hollywood, the place where movies will be GOOD for a change!

3. I shall make Adam Sandler and Robin Williams my personal stand-up comic entertainers, because they are the funniest humans alive.

4. Cats will be worshipped as sexy gods and goddesses.  These religious wars and ceremonies are terrific examples of how pathetic and out-dated most humans are, so with one religion, we will be able to concentrate on unity instead of duking it out over who is better: God or Bob Barker.

5. The internet will consist of only ONE website, and that's the one that my faithful follower Josh is building right now (rather slowly, I might add).  All others will be removed.  Microsoft blows, so MSN will be the first to go.

After we were done with our contemplations, Hipster and I decided to embark on a short journey to make my captors' dog more miserable by batting him in the nose with our paws.  It was bliss.

My captors are furious with me for some odd reason.  I think it might be because I scratched the dog again.  But the stupid mutt wouldn't  shut up, not to mention he ate out of my food dish.  And let me tell you something.  When you eat out of my food dish, you pay.  Oh, you pay....

So, all in all, my family of captors is made up of a bunch of morons who can't do anything by themselves.  Josh is the smart one of course, which is why he's a faithful follower, but everyone else is hardly worth rubbing against or even acknowledging the existence of.

The father taunts me with his finger.  Yeah, right.  Like I'm going to play with that.  You, sir, are a total idiot.  A complete scoundrel who will be pummeled endlessly by cats once the Grand Master Plan is put into effect.  Your daughters will join you, for they, too, are idiots.  Idiots who are nerds, and are obsessed with that anime crap.

I HATE ANIME!  Anime looks like it was drawn using Microsoft Paint and a lollypop for good measure.  It looks like it was drawn by a barrel of monkeys, only the barrel contained only one monkey and no barrel.  Need I say more?

Another thing I hate?  Chain letters!  Give me locusts, give me idiotic scoundrels like Josh's dad, give me a freaking break!  Some people say cats don't use bad language, and this is true to a certain extent.  But keep sending me those chain letters and you'll see what happens...

My favorite joke...what do you call a dog with no legs?  It doesn't matter, he won't come!  Mwahahaha!  A classic...

Oh....hungry....I need food.  Okay, so yesterday I ate an entire cake by myself.  Let's see what I can find when the captors are not paying attention....

Viva la resistance!

I decided to have a blog here after all.  Maybe I'll leave the other one up for now, but I no care about it anymore. MySpace is cooler, funner, and there are a lot less whiners on here than Bravenet (although Josh is one exception).

ERM....yes, well, uh, hi, my name is Muggers (or Muggers the Great and Mighty Lord and Master of the World if you'd like) and yeah, you heard right.  I'm going to rule the world.

Okay, so I notice there are a lot of would-be cats and cat lovers on MySpace trying to draw in a decent crowd of friends to satisfy their poor pathetic attempts at becoming the master kitty.  Well you all can lick my butt!  There is room at the top for only one, and that one is me.  If you disagree, then you are stupid and shall taste used kitty litter soon, after you're done licking my bum bum.

There's an old saying...."He with the gold card makes the rules."  Well, you know what?  I HAVE A PLATINUM CARD, which is much better than your gold card, so SCREW you!  I rule, and maybe I'll even attract sizeable female attention someday, while you are busy licking some old dog's rear end.

Well, I am hungry and am in dire need of food.  One day, I shall own everything and can have an unlimited supply of Meow Mix!  MWAHAHA!  Oh, I cannot wait...