I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs

-Thomas Jefferson

http://videos.streetfire.net/video/Nissan-GTR-on-T...

..

EFFECTIVE September 1, 2008  

NEW DW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.  

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing  you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent on the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Drum Workshop INC Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!

Have a great holiday

Due To cutbacks this will be your new work area:

... sitting quietly at work looking through spreadsheets and then having the smallest thought of my baby that's brewing up right now and getting so freakin excited about it. And then I start thinking about my beautiful, sweet, amazing wife and get thrown into a daydream about how awesome my life is and how much better it's going to be with our baby in it...

Sorry for hogging up all the happy :-)

(to my baby on the way)

When I heard the news of you

I did what most daddies do,

I opened up my heart so wide

For you to have a place inside,

As each day passes, I think of you

Watching you grow, I'm expecting too,

I've tried to imagine the person you'll be

Will you look or act like me,

I've thought of the things we'll do

The times we'll share, me and you,

I will give you piggyback rides

Push your swing and watch you slide,

I will hold your hand in mine

Be your protector, strong yet kind,

I will be your hero and friend

Give love and advice on which you depend,

Life gave me a  moment, precious and rare

Bursting with pride, excitement and care,

I promise you now, with all that I have

See, you'll be my child and I'll be your dad,

When I heard the news of you

I did what most daddies do,

I opened up my heart so wide

For you to have a place inside,

I Have A Date by The Vandals

(minus the 16 year old part HAHA)

I saw a girl and she drove me wild
She looked at me and I looked and smiled
The cutest girl you'd ever see
I never dreamed she'd go out with me

We met at school so I asked her out
The only girl I ever thought about
She's 16 and she's so devine
I never thought I could make her mine

I'm in love, I just can't wait Tonight I have a date
I have a date with the cutest girl in town
I have a date and I'm the happiest boy around
I'm in love. I just can't wait 'cause tonight I have a date

Went to the movies in my parents car
I never dreamed I'd get that far
I picked her up at a quarter to eight
I got there early I didn't want to be late

I never thought it would come to this
I drove her home and she gave me a kiss
I'm in love and it's here to stay
She said she really wants to see me again

I'm in love, I just can't wait Tonight I have a date
I have a date with the cutest girl in town
I have a date and I'm the happiest boy around
I'm in love. I just can't wait 'cause tonight
I have a date

On Legendary Lyrics by Further Seems Forever

Now that we're one now
Softly whispers saving grace 6:19 as I awake
And stronger than last year
My eyes closed,
Stars can see me
Stars will meet me on the ground
On the ground

Summer is gone and winter is never too far now
When my poor arms (my arms are aching) outstretched so long that my bones are
now breaking
but there you come with a smile that sends any man to his knees
And I feel I've begun now that we're one now
You graciously add to
I graciously add you to my heart
To my heart

Summer is gone, and winter is never too far now
When my poor arms (my arms are aching) outstretched so long that my bones are
now breaking
But there you come with a smile that sends any man to his knees
And I feel I've begun now that we're one now
Now that we're one now

What is on your desktop wallpaper? - a picture of a chipotle cup
What is your favorite zoo animal? - A tiger
What was your favorite toy as a child? - My toy cars, or my legos
What food do you eat too much of? - Oreos
What kind of hairstyle do you have? - Shortish, it needs to grow out more to recover from a terrible cut
What was your favorite activity in gym class? - Foooooootball or swimming
What is on the shirt you're wearing right now? - Hurley
What is the picture nearest to you of? - A wave
What kind of salad dressing do you like? - something lemonie
Whats your least favorite food? - Meat
What do you do on a Sunday night? - Edit pictures and miss my wife
If you could only use one condiment on your food for the rest of your life, what would it be? - A-1
What color are your sheets? - No sheets, I..'m lazy
How big is your computer display? - Big enough
What pair of shoes do you wear most often? - My .."chucks.." as everyone but me calls them :-)
What is your favorite game? - Catch Phrase
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? - Mashed Potatos or Black Olives
What is your favorite pizza topping? - Black Olives
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow? - 7 ish
What is your favorite day of the year? - Christmas