The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.



Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, itwillbe scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's size 14-16 work boots

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, A copy of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.

3.Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots & magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba! Big Jim, Duke, Slim and me went to the gun shop for more Ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls--they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

P.S I locked all four of'em in the house. Better wait outside.

All Americans should be given this lesson. Those who think that America is an arrogant nation should really reconsider that thought. Our founding fathers used GOD's word and teachings to establish our Great Nation and I think it's high time Americans get re-educated about this Nation's history. Pass it along and be proud of the country we live in and even more proud of those who serve to protect our "GOD GIVEN" rights and freedoms.


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I hope you take the time to read this..... To understand what the flag draped coffin really means..... Here is how to understand the flag that laid upon it and is surrendered to so many widows and widowers.

Do you know that at military funerals, the 21-gun salute stands for the sum of the numbers in the year 1776?



Have you ever noticed the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the United States of America Flag 13 times? You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!

The 1st fold of the flag is a symbol of life.
< O:P>

The 2nd fold is a symbol of the belief in eternal life.



The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing the ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of the country to attain peace throughout the world.


The 4th fold represents the weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine g uidance


The 5th fold is a tribute to the country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, "Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong."


The 6th fold is for where people's hearts lie. It is with their heart that They pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that they protect their country and their flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.



The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death , that we might see the light of day.


The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the char acter of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of their country since they were first born.


The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.



The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and ! glorifi es, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.



The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding them of their nations motto, "In God We Trust."



After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for them the rights, privileges and freedoms they enjoy today.

There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning. In the future, you'll see flags folded and now you will know why.

Share this with the children you love and all others who love what is referred to, the symbol of "! Liberty and Freedom."

FIREARMS  REFRESHER COURSE:

1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a  subject.

2. A gun in the  hand is better than a cop on the phone.

3. Colt: The original point and  click interface.

4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about  control.

5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?

6. If guns  cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.

7. "Free" men do not  ask permission to bear arms.

8. If you don't know your rights you don't  have any.

9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.

10. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights  Reserved.

11. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you NOT  understand?

12. The Second  Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore
the others.

13. 64,999,987 firearm owners killed no one yesterday.

14. Guns  only have two enemies: rust and politicians.

15. Know guns, know peace,  know safety.  No guns, no peace, no safety.

16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay  alive.

17. 911 - government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.

18. Assault  is a behavior, not a device.

19. Criminals love gun control -- it makes  their job safer.

20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause  arson.

21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens, tries to  control
them.

22. You only have the rights you are willing to fight  for.

23. Enforce the "gun control laws" we ALREADY have:  Don't  make more.

24. When you  remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.

25. The  American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.

26. "A  government of the people, by the people, for the people..."

PLEASE  PASS THIS 'REFRESHER' ON TO AT LEAST 10 FREE CITIZENS,

ALSO  TO ANY MISGUIDED PEOPLE WHO MAY THINK GUN CONTROL IS THE ANSWER.

Ok, I want to make a point about hunting.  This is for all you non-hunters out there.  Hunting is NOT about the killing.  It's about spending time with friends and dogs.  Hunters see things differently than you do, We see the importance of conservation, we see the importance of respecting all living things. We see and hear differently too. Every little sound triggers something inside us.  Every sight is changed too, for example you may see a dead deer, but a hunter sees a way of life thats been almost forgotten.  A hunter sees the way our ancesters had to live or they would die. It gives us a whole different look on life and death.

 I have had GREAT days of hunting where I have never fired a shot.  Watching a flock of Blue-winged Teal dart and dive as if though they were all one bird is something that only hunters really get to see.  Sure you can go to bird preserves, but those birds know your there and act differently.  And seeing a sunrise over the area your hunting is breath taking, it's truely indescrible. There's just so much going on while hunting that other people don't realize.  I've seen the northern lights brighter than a minneapolis night, only because I was hunting. 

 I don't mean to sound mean but I want to prove a point that we aren't all blood thirsty killers. 

If you want to see what I'm talking about just give me a shout, I wont even take a gun along if you feel that uncomfortable about it.

Theres something about getting up before the suns up and walking through the fog, hearing the animals wake up for the morning, seeing that first ray of sun come over the horizion thats spiritually humblig. 

The nights are amazing too.  Have you ever seen the true milky way? Probably not, I have you have to be at least 5 miles from the nearest light to get the total effect. If you can find a place like this then you can truely see that there is never a dark night.

 

I hope that this will open your eyes to why I do what I do. I wouldn't have it any other way.

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!!!

2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?


4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons... now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! WhooooHoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet!

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ???... Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.



Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who's boss here!!!

You Don't See Me Picking
Up Your Poop Do You?