Hello my children. it is now once again story time.
as anyone that read my last blog about this knows, i ended it with a cliff hanger (like the movie! YEAH!). well, not so much a bad movie, as an incomplete ending. this is part two.
this is my story. (que dramatic music)
i awoke to this day in a start. at the crack of noon, i believe it was. i had a feeling in my gut. and that feeling was that i needed to go on a Quest 64.
what is a quest 64, you ask? it is a journey. a wild-mad journey. it can kill those not tough enough (or not meant) to stand it. essentially, its like the game. quest 64. that game was so bitchin, that it didnt need 63 previous quests! or quakes! or dooms! it was that EPIC!
let me ask you this, my children: do you know why there were no other quests?! because, you see, whithin this reality, there are several different dimensions. thats right. several. some of them are different, and some are very similar. too similar. sometimes, the only difference is that the creaky gate in your front yard doesnt creak (oh wait. that was home! ha! fuck you sliders!)
...anyways, there are many different universes. and if one could learn to travel through them, and kill the other universe version of yourself, then you will gain this person's strength! amazing power! just like that one jet li movie. man, that was a masterpiece. or something.
either way, i started out my day in a very somber mood. it was serious.
i look like a picture of a cat i once saw upon internet.
there. haaa! look at that thing! he's all serious!
...anyways
the mood was somber. this is when i realized something. you cannot go on a quest 64 in such a mood! you will be destroyed!
so i decided that i wanted to dance. thanks to my good friends ween:
and then matt and kim:
..
i got my dance on. it was epic. for those few minutes that anthony was driving to my house, i was my own personal dance commander. my bedroom was a dance floor. it was both impressive and amazing.
anthony was in a similarly chipper mood!
our first stop was to our local and friendly safeway. sadly, chris haner was not present. also, the weather was incredibly dark and rainy. it was amazing going through parking lots. we were wet.
i went to this place to purchase some cough medicine. i was not sure exactly whay kind i should get, considering that there were flavors that i cannot stand, and some that just dont work.
i ended up choosing the supposedly trustworthy name brand Nyquil. let me tell you something, my children: Nyquil doesnt do shit! all it does is make you tired enough to sleep through whatever sickness you have! its also apparently extremely bad for you. aaaaaand, it costs 8 fucking dollars!! i didnt know that until i got my stupid receipt! although that part was my fault. tee hee!
also, they carded me for nyquil. that was pretty funny. after seeing my card, i told the lady there that i was going to get "crazy messed up" on it. i dont know if she realized that i was joking. probably, although i hope not...
after safely wet and in the car, i decided to take a swig of nyquil...
we then went to get our dear friend comrade, Ronnie.
aw, that one sucked. hang on....
much better.
we then headed to our local friends: Video Exchange! those people know me as the annoying ass kid that has been annoying them since he was a kid. fun stuff!
after searching through their NES selection, i found that the only game that i could recall from the list of converters (being the boob that i am, i forgot to write down and bring said list), was a copy of excitebike that was both overpriced, and too light to contain my precious converter. that silly video exchange knows exactly what they are selling! and they price accordingly. hoo haw.
video exchange was not a total loss though! i found me some old VHS tapes of Urusei Yatsura!
anthony found a super rad score as well!
no, your eyes do not deceive you, that is a vhs copy of "Mom and Dad Save the World". yeah. hell yeah.
also, ronnie found a score among scores!!
look at that bounty!!
among those, he holds Suburban Commando (on dvd, bitches!!), surf ninjas, demolition man, and surf nazis must die! YEAYAH!!
we then decided to stop for lunch.
it was a beautiful meal. a manly meal. a meal that you can write the F home about!
"dear mom and pop,
today i had the most amazing meal! it was soooo damn good! i mean, seriously! you are gonna poop when you try this!
love, your son:
Jethro"
the people there were lame. they made fun of my hat to each other. but thats okay, because i am better than them. well, maybe not, but at least i dont have a shitty fast food job! HA! BURN! FACIAL! SUCK IT!
anyways, while at this epic food stop, we made a monumental discovery!
yeah. take a minute to absorb that.
after nourishing ourselves, we decided to hit up our friendly friends at Bog Bean. in their parking lot is where i decided to take another swig of nyquil, not realizing that it wouldnt do anything, and still wondering why i was still coughing...
i talked for a bit, while searching and weighing (while looking totally crazy) NES games, with a real cool guy that works there. his name escapes me, but i met him at a Green Rifle show a long time ago, and i talk to him about video games.
he was cool enough to look upon our old friend internet for the list, and told me about an amazing third party NES player. it has a slot for famicom games! JOY!
..
its 60 bucks. although the more expensive alternative, this would mean that i wont have to worry about ruining my top loading nes, or fiddling for hours with my old nes. plus it has AV jacks! my working one dont! ooooooh!
so while at bog bean, i decided to risk it with an older game that was not on the list called Trojan.
by the way, bog bean has some friendly staff peoples...
now, this is where my memory gets a bit fuzzy. i somewhat remember hurting my leg from jumping a lot, and i have these photos as a result:
i awoke at the movie theater. sheree was there! cool!
after some sweet visitation, we watched Suburban Commando at the B & J Connection. let me tell you, that movie more than holds up. it is ridiculously dated! and in a good way! Hogan at his acting best! seriously! watch that movie! NOW!
also, this happened.
after the gold rush, i decided to go to my "official Sex Den" (not my title for it) to open up that bad boy.
the mood was intense.
a little too intense!
after a short bathroom break, i decided to get back to business. BIG Businees!
with my superior knowledge of the screw driver, i decided to perform my (incredibly risky and difficult) procedure.
i opened this antique trinket to reveal a surprise!
an insulting surprise!!
i mean, seriously?! what the hell!!
i was pissed! and not just regular pissed! i'm talking unbridled, 'total rage of an inner geek wearing a sweater not getting what he wants' rage!
i'm pretty sure that a couple small animals died from this rage.
i was entirely dissapointed.
i mean, seriously! it was heavier than most nintendo games!! its because it had this extra, crappy little peice on it. whatever man. i guess i can wait to play my amazing japanese game.
after some mad pondering (believe you me, it was MAD), i had finally learned first hand the horrors of buying unknown medicine, and the true meaning of 'buyer's beware'. that game isnt all bad though.
my children, i learned that day almost as much as i did the first time i watched Congo, as a full grown, tax paying adult. it was almost as beautiful as that movie. god damn i love congo.
ah fuck this, i'm watching rushmore.