numbers never liked me
11:04pm
74days
74instant messages
11:11 (make a wish)
&& apparently neither did you

one
i crush foam beneath
writhing fingers and grinding bones.
there's blood on the seashells
and broken,
eroding
hearts on the wet sand.

two
They should call it falling in lust
Because now-a-days, love is just a four-letter word
For no reason at all,
It's thrown around like arms at a rock concert
And the band just keeps playing,
Always throwing their guitar like they don't care.

three
I wish we could change hearts
Or take them to the pawnshop for a trade in
Maybe I'd take the money
Or buy a diamond ring
Pretending that someone really does love me.

four
Come here to me
Just come into me.
I've been painting crimson graffiti on paper-thin walls
I've been looking through a kaleidoscope of velvet
Don't worry; I won't be so jaded eventually.
Its okay, you don't have to scream the truth,
I'm not giving up on forgetting you

i worte all of these a while back and am just now putting them up haha =]

i.
i see your picturesque smile,
so faultless and mesmerizing,
luring me in
(it was only later did i
realize exactly how sharp your teeth really were)

ii.
Kissing a rockstar is like
licking your lips and finding them
covered in chocolate.
Sweet, cool, rich, dark.
It falls across your tongue and
tantalizes your tastebuds.
But in blinded bliss, you suddenly remember –

You're allergic to chocolate.

iii.
I'll be your mirror
or shadow or sun
until you shatter me
or shade me or blow me out.

Here's how you play:

Once you've been tagged, you write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. Then, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them to be tagged. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're it and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers...(ps - if you don't wanna, don't!)

My answers:

1. I cant listen to the song Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's without crying. When it comes on the radio at school i leave to go to the bathroom so i dont have to hear it.

2. When somethings bothering me i read alot and i get so into my books that i forget everything else exists.

3. I count my strokes when i swim. [832 for the 1000 free =]]

4. As much and as loud as i talk i'm actually a really shy and resevered person.

5. I'm allergic to cats 

6. I'm having an incredibly good hair day. and that rarely happens

7. I dont make wishes on 11:11

8. Sometimes i wonder if you were right when you told me i grew up too fast

9. I paint my finger nails neon colors

10. i want to become a graphic designer but somedays i dont know if i have what it takes

the people im choosing are:
Cody, Katie, Aron, Brooke, Lauren, Billy, Jeff, Nate, Chase and Eric

Ready? Go!


Tag. You're it!

five is my favorite but let me know what you think

l.
You started lying
I stopped breathing.
(we all have our bad habits)

ll.
She's breathing for him
taking in as much air as she can.
(save some for the rest of the world.)
Desperately fighting for something she can't fix.

lll.
I run to my car.
It's freezing but the sky is so clear.
I slam the door and turn the heat on full blast.
Turn the radio down so I can hear.
And I call you.
Just to tell you the stars are out tonight.
I wish you'd hold my hand,
and stare at the stars through my sunroof.
But you're miles away.
I can hear you perfectly,
as if you're sitting right next to me.
I miss you.

lV.
She looked at me.
Her brown eyes sad, but that smile on her face.
"How are you two?" She asked.
Her heart hurts, but she still has time to ask me if we're ok.
I assured her we were fine.
Gave her a hug.
If it were me,
I'd bawl my eyes out.

V.
All I really wanted this week
was to be wrapped in the arms of the boy who loves me.
Coming home from church in tears,
it's not fun to me anymore.
It stopped being fun a while ago.
If I quit now it's pointless.
If I act like everything is fine, then I'm being fake.
I hate this.
I hate not having him.
I cannot go and lay in his bed and cry anymore.
Instead I resort to crying into a white shirt
that faintly carrys his scent.
Each day it smells more and more like my room,
and less and less like him.
This week has not been fun.

so let me know what you think. im not sure about them yet. honest truth if you dont like PLEASE tell me i wont get offended:

I.
in another world
she is the girl
who watched the sun set
over the Grand Canyon
with him
in another world
he is the boy
who said "I love you"
when he kissed her
goodbye

II.
those nights-
where we stayed up late
watching hours of stupid cartoons
while pretending like we weren't
obsessivily aware
of how our elbows were nearly touching
-were my favorites

Here we are.
Broken. Beaten.
Dangling by a thread.

Reveling in bright laughter
For old times' sake.
Trying to disguise the scars
Behind bright white smiles and heavy hearts.

Don't try to find me;
I'm lost in our memories.
Giggling and smiling once again
because your smile is oh so irresistible.

Alone in our little world
being embraced by the devil's poison wings.
I couldn't let go for my life
It makes me sick to even try.

i put on all my eyeliner (so you can't see me)
chanel, MAC, covergirl
or maybe it's maybelline
who could tell the difference
and it doesn't make a difference
to me as long as you can't see me under
all
that
black.
maybe i'm subconciously grieving for my broken heart
(murderer)
but you can't see me anyway.
you always wear black
i think you're mourning for yourself because
there's no doubt you'll go to hell after
all the girls you've fucked over
still damning you with what you left them of their hearts.
and the word ecstacy makes me think of you.