This past week I was in D.C. for a couple shows and had the honor of getting to visit Walter Reed Army Hospital and play for a few of the soldier’s there. This was something I’d wanted to do for a long time, as I’ve always had a passion for giving back to the men in our country who serve and fight for us. A friend of mine who works at the Capitol was able to set up a visit for me, so we showed up at the hospital Thursday morning, neither of us really knowing what to expect and, honestly, feeling a bit nervous about what we’d see there. I’d brought my guitar and was wearing it in the halls, feeling very superficial and out of place with my monogrammed strap broadcasting my name in big letters across my chest. I have to say, I felt more nervous than I have in a long time walking into the patient’s rooms, partly because I didn’t know how I’d react to seeing whatever conditions they were in, but also because a big part of me felt guilty about the fact that while this war has consumed and forever changed THEIR lives, my own has been largely unaffected by it. I rarely concern myself with anything other than issues involving my career or the music business, and if I’m being REALLY honest, I’d have to admit that most days I don’t even remember there IS a war going on. I’m not being insensitive when I say that – I feel a great deal of compassion for them, which is what I was doing there in the first place. In fact, I felt fairly disgusted with the way we watch it all happen on TV the same way we watch reality shows and movies. Unless we know someone who is directly involved in it, it doesn’t feel real, it’s not US.

But walking in and seeing these young boys in varying degrees of dismemberment and pain made it a reality to me in a way it hadn’t been before. There was no distancing myself from it when they were right there in front of me, boys my own age and ten years younger, handsome, looking up at me with big smiles and tears of appreciation for the fact that a stranger had taken time to come and offer some entertainment relief. It didn’t seem like enough to just play songs and sing for them, but that is all I really had to offer. There was no way to take back what had happened to them or trade places with them, not that I’d ever be brave or unselfish enough to do so. And I sensed that was all they expected me to do, because in that very small way I was showing my appreciation and understanding for the fact that they were lying in bed with screws in their legs so that I COULD go out and play songs and sing for a living. So I talked, shared, sympathized, listened, and tried to just give them everything I had, which was my time and music. It was an awesome experience, eye opening and humbling. It made me want to do more…or maybe just do something every time I had the chance. And it also made me want to write more meaningful material, so that next time I was there I’d have something encouraging to share with them, something that would be uplifting and hopeful.  

Anyways, I wanted to share my experience because it was really significant to me. If you are interested in showing your support for our servicemen and woman, you can check out a list of opportunities at www.soldiersangels.org. One of my favorites I saw was writing letters to the soldiers who are stationed overseas in war zones - it’s a small gesture, but something personal like that can make a huge difference. Thanks for reading J

Well I’m back in Nashville after a harrowing ten hour drive yesterday from Charleston, where we left at 5am so we could be in Knoxville in time for a lunch-time show that broadcast live on WGVX and then hopped back in the van and drove the last 3 hours home. Needless to say, we felt fried. Sunday night we’d had a bit too much fun in Awendaw and stayed out far too late considering the drive and the early morning that was to follow, but I think we both thought, what the hell? It’s our last night! I’m paying for it a bit today, but right now I’m sitting in a hair salon with foil all over my head, working on my trailer trash blonde hair, and so I thought I’d take a second to update my loyal readers.

 I’m actually listening to a great new song a friend of mine wrote that I’m going in the studio to sing harmonies on later – that’s what I do a lot when I’m home. Demos. It’s a strange but lucrative world, and actually I kind of like doing it. I meet a lot of people and it can only do me good having my voice floating around town, whether it’s my songs or someone else’s. This morning I had breakfast with this amazing woman who is in her 80’s who has had a whole list of hit songs throughout the decades and now she wants me to sing on some new country stuff she’s writing. EIGHTIES!! And still busting her butt – so inspiring. What’s even cooler is she’s written a Broadway musical that they’re about to have auditions for and she asked me if I wanted to come in and audition. Which of course I said, YES! Those of you who know me might recall I was QUITE the actress back in the day, and long before I penned my first song, I had dreams of being in musical theater. So I thought it’d worth taking a trip to New York, even if just for the experience. And who knows – it could lead to some crazy new chapter in my life. After all, life’s a journey and I’m in it for the ride J

Many thanks and blessings to all of you who came out over the last couple weeks – you made our trip. It was a great time and we’re looking forward to getting back on the road. Stay tuned for updates on gigs, coming soon. Love and good stuff to all you out there in the world!    

I’m on cloud nine today. I play music for a living. I had a dream ten years ago that one day I would travel around the country playing music I love and not have to work another job to make money and here I am doing it, sometimes even around the world. I make music with one of my best friends who makes me laugh in the van and inspires me on stage. We meet all sorts of people, people with dreams that they’re realizing and living out and who fill us with a feeling of empowerment and possibility. I wake up every day and thank God for this amazing gift of music, for the ability to turn emotions into lyrics and the voice to express it all…and of course a HUGE measure of faith and ambition to pursue it all. It’s amazing. It’s a miracle.

Matt and I talk about this all the time on the road – how lucky we are. I think it’s possible for everyone to find something they are passionate about and find a way to express themselves in a way that is fulfilling to them. But not everyone does. We are afraid sometimes…of rejection, of failure, of not being able to pay our bills. It’s understandable. But it doesn’t have to be the end of the story, the thing that keeps you from getting up in the morning and TRYING. Years ago, I took a class in Austin called “The Artist’s Way” – you can get the book at any major bookstore. It changed my life because it helped me see that there were people and experiences in my past that had darkened my understanding and destroyed my confidence in myself and my abilities, and that caused me to be self-conscious, full of doubt and fear and practically paralyzed with low self-esteem. But those things were lies, lies put in my head by an enemy who doesn’t want me to realize my abilities, who fears that I might in fact rise up from my situation and find the faith to live a dream and do something amazing in this world. And through that book I came to see that I had a gift and God wanted me to use it. If what I’m saying is resonating with you, do yourself a favor – spend the $20 and check this book out. www.theartistsway.com.

Anyways, it’s been a long journey over the years of finding my way, finding my voice as a singer and a songwriter and overcoming the powerful negativity and self-doubt that we all get trapped in. But out here this week I’ve found something that I lost – a vision for my future and for something really HUGE, something world-changing and empowering for others. That’s the kind of music I want to make, that’s the kind of legacy I want to leave behind. I’ve always felt that way deep inside, but I had lost the belief that it’s even possible. Matt and I spend a lot of time riding in the van and talking about this – pumping ourselves up to be the best we can possibly be and go out and do something magnificent, no matter HOW many people are in the audience. And I’ve really seen a difference in our stage performances this week. I think the positivity is taking hold and it’s changing how we play. That and the days we spend in D.C. have been so incredible because we’re up here hanging out with the people who actually have the positions of power to make a difference, people like us with big vision to change the world (and of course I’m focusing on those people that are looking to do this for the greater good and not for their own selfish motives). And we talk with passion and enthusiasm about what we’re trying to do and you can see the wheels turning in their heads and they come up with ideas of how we can do that, how we can make life better for the touring musician, how we can find affordable healthcare for all these artists across the nation that are literally making art for a living but not at the level that affords them healthcare. And we’re trying to figure out how we can make that a reality for them. I mean, we’re having these discussions and getting through to the right people and Matt and I are just nudging each other under the dinner table going, “Holy S---! We’re DOING it!”

I know I must sound like I’m totally rambling here…I hope you can follow. I just want to encourage those of you with a vision or a dream, even if it’s just an inkling of an idea right now but it’s there and it nags at you and you keep wondering if it’s even a possibility. It IS. I’m not saying everyone is capable of being a singer or guitar player and even those that have the ability are gonna all turn into huge STARS if they just believe. But I AM saying that we don’t choose the gifts that we are born with – they are God given. And if God gave them to you, He wants you to use them. Whatever they are. Furthermore, those of you with the great ambition and vision in life, that’s also a gift from God. I had this discussion with a friend this week – the Bible says “To whom much is given, much with be required.” That verse carries a huge responsibility with it, but it’s not a scary thing. It’s an empowering thing – it means that those of you with lots of drive and ambition to DO something have an incredible gift that God gave you and you need to use it! It means the more talent you have, the more ambition you feel, the more vision you see, the more you have to pursue it because God you so much. He didn’t give us those gifts to just sit on them – it’s illogical. What would be the point of that? You might not know what He has planned for your life, but I believe that if you take the gifts you were born with and are willing to step out in faith and pursue the desires of your heart, He will bless you for trying to make use of the gifts. In my own life, I have seen those blessings come not only in the form of doors opening in my career but also in a general feeling of fulfillment and joy and peace doing what I love. Not to mention really cool experiences like the ones we’re having right now on the road.

I didn’t sleep last night (is it obvious??) because I spent the night wandering around the Jefferson Memorial, looking at monuments around our nation’s capitol, and yes, stopping to smell the cherry blossoms. My favorite way to see D.C. has been in the middle of the night, when there are no lines and no tourists snapping pictures and no people around to distract from the history and depth of it all. This city is so serene at night, with the waves lapping against the sides of the park and the wind swirling through the trees…it was freakin’ freezing cold, I’m not gonna lie. But it was beautiful and inspiring. And when the sun came up, I was sad to leave D.C. and head south today, but I felt an incredible sense of possibility.... Here in the midst of it all, our forefathers gave birth to a dream all those years ago and now people still get up every day and try to keep that dream alive. It doesn’t look like it from the news, and that’s what sucks about the media. All they care about is selling papers, and they keep you buying ‘em by putting scandals on the front page and scaring the crap out of the people with all this doom and gloom. They make us believe that all the politicians are corrupt, that everyone who gets into politics has a Napolean complex and only seek to achieve high levels of power and money. They never tell you about the guy who stays at his office on Capitol Hill til 3am every night because there are so many things he wants to make better in this country that he can’t afford to lose time sleeping. They don’t tell you that most of the people who do the real work up here, reading the endless bills and making legislative decisions and taking the heat for it all, are barely eeking out a living and doing is miles and miles away from their homes and families. I’m not saying there’s not corruption – God knows there’s a ton of it. But there are also good guys, guys with vision and purpose who seek justice and are up here because it’s a good fight and someone’s got to do it. And that’s the D.C. Matt and I are getting to discover and hope to be a part of. 

All that to say we’re blessed. And thankful. And just a little bit sleepy…

Its approaching that time on Tuesday night when I give up on the song I've been working on since 9am and write a few random creepy notes about my personal life for all to see. Just to keep you hooked, of course:

1. Got to meet my precious new nephew, Benjamin Bishop, this weekend in Denver. Absolutely darling and brilliant (so his parents say).

2. Been working on alot of new stuff and writing just about every day with someone new up here in Nashvegas. It's been a busy year so far but I feel like I'm really honing in on what I do best and coming up with some original ways of saying the same old things...and maybe a few things that haven't been said yet. That's the most exciting part - find that unique idea and chasing down the words to paint a picture that everyone can relate to. Love it.

3. I've been training for my first marathon: The Country Music Marathon on April 25. This of course involves lots and lots of running, which I pretty much taught myself to do after a tumultous twelve years of being the chubby kid that couldn't run a lap at P.E. Needless to say, this is a HUGE accomplishment for me! I'm up to 7 miles this week and although I've got lots and lots more work to do, I'm feeling really healthy, optimistic, and like I could conquer just about anything at this point. My knees are popping and I've got aches in places I never knew existed, but I'm still doing it ;)

4. I started working on my first book this weekend - or at least I say that. I've always been a "journal-er", and of course I love to spill embarassing details about myself on MySpace as you already know. But I see this book being combination memoir and self help - basically I'll humiliate myself by divulging my deepest secrets and most painful lessons in hopes that someone else will benefit from it and learn from my mistakes. It'll be a work in progress for years to come, but I'm finding a lot of joy and fulfillment out of sharing these things and being able to laugh about them. Stay tuned...

5. Married life is great. Challenging but ultimately very fulfilling. I'm learning alot about myself. No babies in the near future though, for all of you who keep asking. Why do babies always have to follow getting married??

6. Finally, I'm gearing up for an acoustic tour to the East Coast in a couple weeks. For those of you between D.C. and Charleston, keep your eyes on the calendar for a date near you. We're still not firm on a release date for the new record "Virginia", but that's only because we're trying to get all the ducks in a row so it can have the attention it deserves. When the record officially releases, I'll be back on the road full time...and I can't wait! I'm really missing it :(

Anyways, just a quickie to stay in touch - much love and thanks for all your continued support :)

Tonight my husband and I went to see this one man show in Nashville – “Sex, Dreams, and Self Control.” It was part singer-songwriter show, part anecdotal, but all based on the life of the thirty-something gay storyteller and the story of his coming out in a Midwest town. It was really funny, poignant and shockingly honest at times, and the songs were pretty good too. It was in this really tiny theater near Belmont University and I heard about it because I was having coffee there last week and I saw a poster of a fully nude tattooed man holding a guitar with the comment “SHOCKINGLY HONEST” written across his private parts and I thought, There’s something Sky would like to see! I think there were a lot of people (me) that only came because it was rumored that he actually performed the show naked. There were lots of girls that seemed to be having a Ladies’ Night Out…or maybe they were just on dates, I don’t know. But nevertheless he came out fully clothed. No pun intended. That part was kinda disappointing.

Speaking of self control, we’re doing a fast at our house this month – no caffeine, alcohol, sugar or processed foods for 28 days. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I won’t make it. It is not uncommon for me to drink a pot or two of coffee a day, and because there is always a steady supply of booze at music events, we all excuse what anyone else would consider alcoholism for part of our “business.” On top of that, I have a wicked sweet tooth and have a well-known addiction to a certain brand of ice cream (so does SKY!). Today is Day 7 and we haven’t cheated even ONCE. However, it took all our willpower put together to keep from stopping at the Exxon on the way home from the show tonight and picking up a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. I announced my plan to accomplish this nearly impossible goal about a month ago because I felt like it would be a great way to kick off a certain upcoming birthday that I am dreading. Sky said he wanted to sign up to be supportive, but I think he is really regretting that now. Coupled with my drastic diet change, I also started training for the Country Music Marathon at the end of April. I’ve never run longer than 3 miles without stopping, so I’m aiming for “just” the half-marathon, which is still a good 13 miles. It won’t be easy, but again, that birthday is looming on the calendar and I feel the need to do something that will be empowering and confidence-building, so I’ve added this goal to my list. That way if I accomplish either one of these things, I can convince myself that, while I may be OLD, at least I’m in better shape now than I was ten years ago.

So far this week, I’ve run three miles three times and I’m supposed to run four more in the morning, bringing my grand total this week to 13 miles. If I never post another blog it’s because my muscles started to spasm somewhere between the 3 mile mark and the finish line and I collapsed in a sweaty heap somewhere along the running trail and they never found my body. Hopefully, the dogs will break free from their leashes and find their way safely back home.  Wish me luck J

We have a new president. Like many of my fellow Americans, I watched the inauguration in the warmth of my living room, in the coziness of my robe with a hot cup of coffee in my hand. It is much the same way that I watched an old boyfriend get married on TV years ago, on the Regis and Kelly Show’s Valentine’s Day Special, only I was eating a bowl of cereal and laughing my ass off in gratitude that I wasn’t the girl by his side at the altar! (But that’s another story entirely…) 

My husband and I held hands, prayed along with Rick Warren, an incredible and inspiring man of God, and hoped along with the rest of the world that President Obama will in fact deliver all that he promises, that he will prove himself to be the man of honor and humility and kindness that he so convincingly portrays. Regardless of who you voted for, regardless of what you believe about him, he was right to say that we, as Americans, are all united in our dedication to freedom, because that is the very heart of our citizenship. We are free to vote, write, speak, act, pray, sing, and dance as we choose, something I know I take for granted every day. The speaker of the house said, “We are grateful today to be able to witness this PEACEFUL turnover of power” and it struck me just how incredible that is, considering around the world the turnover is often tumultuous, bloody, volatile, even unwanted. This is the man America, or at least he is the man the majority of her, wanted to be President and voted for, so I respect that and commit to praying for him as well. Because once a man or woman is IN the office, it is in the interest of the country as a whole that we as individuals all seek the best for that person, as long as they are seeking the best for US.  

Don’t misunderstand me: I don’t have a lot of political views. It’s a common joke among my musician friends that the only politics we are knowledgeable about is the politics of the music business, and sadly, that’s pretty true for me. But even I cannot ignore the enormity of this election, the inspiration it is to people everywhere in America who still feel like they are second rate citizens or that their needs and ideas haven’t been represented by our government. I can’t imagine growing up and having the sense that my “vote didn’t count” and for that reason, I am thankful and will celebrate for them.  Beyond that, I want the best for everyone - health care, clean water and plentiful food, fairness and justice. More importantly, I want people, as in every individual, to be responsible with what they’ve been given, to be loving and fair and kind to their fellow man, and to do their part to preserve our resources and live up to the reputation of hard work that our forefathers set for us. I know that we wake up every day in our house and try to inspire each other by saying, “Today is the day that the Lord has made and because he chose to wake us up again, we have a duty to make the most of it in ALL THAT WE DO.” Honestly, those are the only politics I consider worth studying.  

Happy Inauguration everyone – God bless and keep us in this new phase of our country.  
 

On Sundays, my husband likes to take me to the park and work on my hand-eye coordination. Somehow I never learned any. One might find it amusing that despite the fact that I grew up in a household with a very successful football coach for a dad, I still close my eyes and put my arms over my face to protect myself whenever someone throws a ball at me. But it’s true. I do. And I don’t know why. It’s instinctual. Nonetheless, Sky has taken it upon himself to instill in me some shred of athletic ability, or perhaps “enforce” is a better verb to describe his efforts. Being a former great athlete himself, I’m sure it must be somewhat of a disappointment that his own wife shrieks and ducks for cover anytime anyone tosses a ball into the air. Or there’s the chance that his paternal instincts are beginning to kick in (we all know how men’s clocks can really begin to tick tock, tick tock), and so he gets his “daddy fill” by taking me to the park and throwing sticks and tennis balls at me until I catch one. If that’s the case, I’m happy to play along. Whatever keeps him satiated.

Sometimes we load up the dogs and go to Centennial Park, where the three of us take turns chasing after the Frisbee. Birdie is the best – the first day, she leapt into the air and caught it in her teeth after just three throws! Emmy runs after it, but if it’s further than 10 yards, she’ll half-heartedly trot walk towards it and then veers off in another direction, feigning interest in some distant smell.  And me, because I love my husband and I want him to love me back, I give it my all. I run as fast and uncoordinatedly as I can (which is not very fast) and throw all hundred and fifty pounds of my awkward body into the air, flailing and squawking like a deranged half-bird, and I STILL only catch it 40% of the time. Sky always claps and says something encouraging like, “Awwww…you almost had it that time Babe!” all the while trying to hide a bemused smile. It’s got to be humiliating for him (I know it is for ME), especially when I see other wives and girlfriends at the park with their husbands and friends, athletically sprinting across some imaginary goal line in a spirited game of flag football, golden locks flowing attractively behind them. I’m panting and doubled over with boob sweat after ten minutes.

“Do we have to keep doing this? It’s just like junior high P.E….” I try to make a joke, because it’s always best to make fun of yourself before someone else can beat you to it, but he knows I’m embarrassed. He comes over and puts his arm around me after a while, and I look up at him and say, “Tell me the truth: Do you wish you’d married someone athletic?” At this he always smiles and kisses me on my forehead and says, “Yes, but it wouldn’t be nearly as hilarious.” 

We all have our strengths; Sports just isn’t one of mine. Afterwards, we end up going out to eat and to a movie because, like any good dad, Sky knows you have to remind your kids of what they ARE good at. 

Happy Sunday people. Hope yours was as exhilarating as mine J

Greetings fellows, friends, fans, and frenemies. My sincerest apologies to all who have repeatedly returned to this ghost of a website over the last year, searching for clues to my whereabouts only to find my tour dates scarce and information on my upcoming CD release vague and non-committal. I admit to taking somewhat of a hiatus from my MySpace obligations, my touring schedule, and the music world at large, and I am sorry for those of you have missed the live shows and the even livelier blog-isodes. A majority of this time off was spent planning my wedding and for that I make no apologies. It was a beautiful wedding, and a day that will live on forever in the minds of those who were in attendance as the night a disorderly pastor nearly toppled the wedding cake. I must say, some people (me) really know how to throw a wedding. If we'd known what an affair it was gonna be, we could have sold tickets.

Now, happily married off and well-rested after nearly a year of soul-searching and domestic bliss, I return to my career and my MySpace to find an overflowing email box of messages and comments that I've neglected to answer. Also, there is a definite theme among them– everyone wants to know "Where the heck have you been??" It seems, too, that word of my relocation to a certain mid-Tennessean town has finally leaked out to fans in Texas and there is an onslaught of questions as to why I am not currently living in the Lone Star State. After reading all these messages, I felt moved to respond with one of my lengthy BLOGS, which I imagine will take the better part of the night constructing. I enjoy having an outlet for my thoughts, and also love the occasional excuse to voice my OPINION, which I will remind everyone before reading that we are all ENTITLED to our own OPINION. However, due to the sensitive nature of this material (and the fact that I am now married to a lawyer), I must ask that you read the following disclaimer, which for purposes of simplicity, we'll just call "The Natalie Maines Clause": 

By continuing to read this Blog, the READER (who shall hereafter be referred to as "READER",) acknowledges that he/she has read the Natalie Maines Clause and is fully aware of the terms therein. The READER acknowledges that the commentaries expressed herein are the OPINIONS of the AUTHOR (herein referred to as "AUTHOR") and the READER is in no way obligated to approve or agree with the AUTHOR'S statements. The following OPINION shall not be taken as fact, but merely the AUTHOR'S own OPINION. Therefore the READER agrees to release the AUTHOR from all responsibility for any OPINIONS and reactions that may result from said material. The READER agrees that he/she will not become hostile and seek to berate the AUTHOR at his internet place of business or destroy the AUTHOR'S career with slander if the opinions stated hereafter should differ from the READER'S own. Therein the READER releases the AUTHOR of all liabilities and damages from this OPINION.  ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I have learned in my 29 years of life that speaking one's OPINIONS, regardless of whether they bear any truth, not only hurts people's feelings a lot of the time, but it can also get you blacklisted from really fun parties and things like…oh I don't know, say getting songs cut or making albums?? So, knowing full well that the things I say here might very well find me alongside Kathy Griffin on the D List, my hope is that by sandwiching my OPINIONS between sarcasm and humor, it will soften the blows….

So I have read your emails. I have heard the snickers of fellow artists who see that I took some time off from touring, who think I am "dead in the water." I've seen the sneers of those who think me a quitter, who accuse me of retreating to the corners of my kitchen to live out my life bare-footed and pregnant, spending my days sewing my new monogram on hand towels and muttering about what "should have been" or what "could have been" if only the Big Bad Music Industry hadn't eaten me up. I see and hear it all and it makes me laugh because I know I am still alive and well at my post - a sultan of sarcasm and an advocate for revolution, tireless in my eternal quest to return real music to the airwaves and real artists to the music. In fact, I am just getting started. You see, some people think that all those who move to Nashville are sellouts. Those of you who live outside the gossip worlds and websites of the independent music scene might find this difficult to understand, but many people think that all those who move to Nashville have "sold out" in search of a life beyond the coffee shops, that they have lost their souls because they branch out in search of something more than regional recognition. In Texas, these are the people who would have you believe they actually PREFER to play a sports bar along I-35 on a Tuesday night for $200 and a case of Lone Star, that THEY are, in fact, the true "musicistas" because they choose to stay behind and prostrate themselves in front of you while you get smashed yelling for Chris Knight covers and throwing peanut casings on the floor. But I have news for you friends: Anyone who tells you they wouldn't turn in their weekly residency at the Inn of the Hills in Kerrville for a shot at a hit song or a bite from a legitimate record label is lying to you. Somebody put a bullshit logo on a t-shirt ten years ago and you're still wearing it. Not everybody may be CAPABLE of going to the top with they're dreams, but if they aren't trying, they're not worthy of the stool they're playing on.

The sad truth is that many of the people who like to talk smack about Nashville have never really spent any time here. I know because I used to be one of these people. Their opinions (there is that word again) of places are often based on what they have heard from other people, specifically the P.I.C., which is a term I recently heard that refers to that lucky group of individuals known as the "People In Charge." These are the people who get to dictate what is cool, pretty, popular, and acceptable merely because they themselves are deemed as such and therefore get to condone and propagate hip culture to the masses at their discretion.  (You know them – they were in your high school. Now they have graduated to the Texas Music Scene and they have taught you to wear wristbands and wallet chains so now everyone wears them.) I have lived beneath the billboards and tanned myself from the glare of mainstream country music for nearly 13 months now, and therefore, I feel that I am not only educated enough to speak the truth but am also entitled to an OPINION on the town which some people refer to as Music City. I like to call it simply "N".

I learned something very valuable when I moved to "N" – not everyone who comes here is a "sell out."  In fact, most of the people I have met have been unbelievably talented players and serious writers who are working their butts off trying to make a living. I haven't met one person who hasn't expressed the need for change and their own disdain for the current state of country music – and here I'd always thought everyone in this town actually LIKED the music coming out of mainstream radio! (I have NOT met anyone, however, who complained about the royalties they received FROM mainstream radio.) So just because someone lives in "N" or moves here doesn't mean that they are metamorphosing in order to become "radio-friendly." It also doesn't mean that we are all willingly drinking the Kool-Aid just because they are telling us too (Those of you who are too young to get that reference, go Google "Jim Jones" and "Cyanide".) Am I angry with the ever-growing dependency of the music industry on half-wit teenagers and soccer moms to pay the bills for grossly over-produced, over-rated, and over-airbrushed albums? Of course I am! Do I become disillusioned by the myriad of images of platinum, twenty-something blondes shoved in my face by Mickey Mouse marketing schemes that merely perpetuate the problem of low self-esteem in teenagers by teaching them we are supposed to all LOOK the same, rather than encouraging them to be unique and extraordinary in their individuality? Hell yes, I do! Am I sick of the plastic, superficial, "I'm-From-The-Country-And-That's-What's-They-Call-Home-Grown" redundancy of this twenty-first century break-dancing- rapper-rock-country-fusion that's got real singers like Elvis and Ray Charles and Patsy Cline turning over in their graves? You bet your ass I am – we ALL are! But at some point you have to grow tired of sitting on the sidelines all the time, complaining about "the industry this" and "the industry that" and how the industry won't play your music, when, in reality, you're too damn lazy or maybe too chicken shit to suit up and hit the field yourself.

And THAT, my friends, is how I got to Nashville. Because I was sick and tired of always bemoaning the need for change and the hypocrisy of my own non-action. So I moved. To try and make a difference. From our house, we have a great view of LP Field where the Titans play and from the roof, on a clear night, you can just make out the top of the BMI building. I like to sit up there and plot my attack on Music Row, a chocolate martini in one hand and my Bible in the other. It's not home…it never will be. (You thought I was gonna say it was "Almost like home".) But we only get one chance at this life, and when the opportunities come along and the doors open, sometimes you gotta just walk through without knowing where they'll take you, and have the faith that God will do the rest of the work. So it is here, from my perch in East Nashville that I am now blogging you. It's the one part of town that I actually feel comfortable in, where I'm surrounded by lots of other left-of-center people and quirky, non-radio-friendly, non-genre specific Americana-type musicians who spend much of their time, like me, looking down their noses at the Music Row from whom we all secretly wish we were getting much larger paychecks. I'm not here because I wish to sell out and neither are they. We're here because we recognize that to CHANGE the world, you have to be IN it, even if you're not OF it. We're here because we woke up one day and realized that you have to PLAY the game if you wanna WIN, because in order to CHANGE the rules, sometimes you gotta BREAK 'em. And hell I guess some of these people actually call this home. But one day the time is gonna come, and when it does, when that blessed day comes that this music industry is ready for that change that we've all so desperately prayed for, I'm gonna have a front seat to the show and I'm gonna stand up on this roof and scream "Hallelujah and Holy Shit!" because I was a part of it all, because I got to see it first-hand. And then Sky's gonna come running up here to catch me just in time before I nose dive into the front yard.

To sum this all up, form your own damn opinions. No, disillusioned I am NOT. Selling out I am NOT. Nor am I dead in the water or disheartened. If anything I feel empowered and excited to be a part of a movement that is striving to make the music business something better than what it is now, that is striving for change. (Ok, let it also be stated that I didn't pick up the term "change" from Barrack Obama. I realize after seeing how many times I used it in this rant that I'm gonna have to find a new terminology to express my passion to see an overturning of the current country music bourgeoisie, but I was using that term loooooooooooong before he was in the Senate. )

Thankfully, I have my new husband to keep me grounded, to bring me down from the roof when I've ranted long enough. He's there waiting to remind me of what's really important in life, not the Taylor Swifts or the Sara Evans of the world, but the meat and potatoes of love and grace and…deep… meaningful stuff.  For instance, (and I have to preface this by saying this is just one of the many intelligent dinner conversations we have when we're not eating off TV trays and watching reruns of The Office on Hulu.com) tonight he asks me, "Why don't gangs use snipers? It'd be much more effective than handguns or knives," to which I stop mid-bite and said, "Is that really what you are thinking about right now?"  To this he responds, "You have something enormous and green in between your two front teeth," and then we took turns eating spoonfuls of pesto sauce to see who could get the most green stuff smeared across their teeth.

 Now see? THAT'S the stuff worth writing about! Happy Friggin' New Year People. I'm back J