Nikki McKibbin on overcoming addiction, a new single and Wicked Attraction
November 19th, 2009 Posted in Nikki McKibbin
Nikki McKibbin burst onto the scene as a red-haired rocker in season one of American Idol.
Forever on the brink of elimination, she persevered, finishing in third place behind Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini. Looking back, she says she and the other contestants had “no clue” how huge Fox’s then-new singing talent show would become.
Nikki went on to appear in other reality shows — “Battle of the Network Stars” and “Fear Factor” (she talks about that appearance in the audio above) among them. And she released an independent album, “Unleashed,” in 2007.
More recently, the 31-year-old wound up on reality television of a different sort — “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” and “Sober House” — as she struggled to overcome alcohol and cocaine addictions.
Now married with an 11-year-old son and 14-year-old stepdaughter, Nikki says she is closing in on 18 months of sobriety. But because of her struggles with addiction, her more recent singles have taken on a more sober tone.
Have no fear, fans. Rocker Nikki will be back, perhaps with a release of more new music next spring. And her hair, which has been black and hot pink, is back to a blood red shade, she said on Tuesday.
In the meantime, Nikki will be one of 12 former Idol contestants appearing in the American Christmas show in the Napa Valley on Dec. 5. Folks who can’t attend the show can watch via Webcast. Go here and see the banner below for more details. Here’s the Idol Chatter interview with Nikki.
................................................................................Chatter: After doing the other reality shows, you decided to go on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” and then “Sober House.” Why make your struggle to overcome addiction that public? I mean, I would think being part of a show like that would create more pressure. What was your thinking?
Nikki: The way that I looked at it was, if people can see the struggle, and the determination to get clean and then stay clean … if I can just help one person realize that and decide that they want to change their lifestyle and get clean, it was totally worth it to me. I’m really stubborn, so that drove me quite a bit. “The cameras are watching. I can’t mess up. I can’t let people see that everybody’s going to fail at this.” And that’s how I live my life now, as if these people are watching me. They know what I’ve been through. They know that I’m sober. I don’t want to screw up anywhere and let people down.
Chatter: You’ve chosen a profession where the motto seems to be play hard and party hard. Does that make sobriety more difficult than it might be for someone who’s in another line of work?
Nikki: It does. Sometimes it feels like people are wanting you to mess up. There are a lot of instances when I’ll be on stage, and someone will bring me a beer or bring me a shot. And I have to be like, “I don’t drink anymore.” So I make it very public at the start of my show. “Hey, guys, I’ll still clean and sober. The boys in the band drink. If you want to buy them a drink, please feel free. But please don’t buy me one.”
Chatter: And it was the passing of your mom that made you decide to go for sobriety?
Nikki: Definitely, because I was with her. And it could very well have been me. I was partying with her the night before. She went home and died pretty much when she went to sleep.
Chatter: You’ve released two songs this year, “Here To There” and “Inconsolable.” Tell me about those. “Here To There” first.
Nikki: “Here To There” is a song about my struggle with addiction. Can you help me get from here to there, from this point to the next? Can you help me in day-to-day life with my struggles? Can you help me get through this? They say it takes a village to raise a child. I feel the same way about an addict. It takes everyone you’re around to be some kind of support system.
............Chatter: And how about “Inconsolable?”
Nikki: “Inconsolable” I heard three or four years ago and I fell in love with it. It reminded me of Tylee, the little girl I did the Make-A-Wish Foundation for. I could also bring the feelings that I had about my mother into that song. And the day that I recorded it was the day after my best friend passed away. I think everyone can relate to it because everyone has lost someone at some point in their lives.
Chatter: Tell me about Tylee?
Nikki: I met her backstage while I was on tour. Kids have always been drawn to me. I don’t know why. We were just kind of hanging out backstage, acting silly and taking pictures and things. Then I got a request. She was really sick, and they didn’t think she was going to live very much longer and her Make-A-Wish was to spend a day with me. It was amazing. (Editor’s note: Tylee later died of cancer)
Chatter: Both of those new songs are considerably more introspective than the music on your previous album. What type of music should fans expect from Nikki McKibbin in the future? Is the in-your-face rocker gone?
Nikki: Definitely not. Of course not. I don’t think you can really label what I do. I just sing. If it’s a song that I love, I’m just going to sing it, whether it’s rock or country or R&B or whatever. If it touches me and needs to be part of what I’m doing, then that’s what’s going to happen.
Chatter: Are you working with a band now?
Nikki: Yeah, Wicked Attraction.
Chatter: Are there plans in the work for another album, and will it be a Wicked Attraction album or a Nikki McKibbin album?
Nikki: I’m hoping it’s going to be a Wicked Attraction album. The solo thing is cool, but I like the whole aspect of the band. I love my band. We’re doing stuff together, and I feel it should be recognized as the whole rather than me as a singer with a band behind me. Hopefully we’ll have some music out this spring.
Chatter: Do you still perform songs off “Unleashed” when you do shows? What songs are most popular?
Nikki: Oh, definitely. “If I Was a Boy” is by far the most popular. “The Lie” would probably be second. They pretty much open and close the show.
............Chatter: What were you shooting for with that album cover? Somebody has bright green hair. It looks like everyone is holding medieval weapons of some sort.
Nikki: I don’t know. (She laughs.) My husband’s a martial artist. And so there were all these props that were kind of just hanging around. It started out as an old dirty warehouse shoot, because that’s where we were. But it turned into this martial arts cover. It’s kind of weird.
Chatter: Are you making a living at music now, or are you doing something else on the side?
Nikki: I’m doing music on weekends, gigging, making some extra money. But I do like, kinda have a normal job. I sell band T-shirts and posters at a little store in Trader’s Village.
Chatter: So, among the past Idols, whose music do you enjoy the most? Who do you find yourself listening to the most?
Nikki: Probably Kelly. I like some of Carrie’s stuff. And Chris Daughtry.
Chatter: Next up for you is the American Christmas show. If the info was passed along to me correctly, you’re going to debut a new original song, “My Heart Belongs to You” and an original holiday song, “Alone with the Christmas Lights.”
Nikki: “My Heart Belongs to You” is going to be my new single. It’s a wedding song, go figure. It’s hopefully going to be the next big wedding song. It’s beautiful. Just a great song. And it kind of explains how I feel about my husband. All the songs I pick have a lot to do with what’s going on with my life. “Here To There,” “Inconsolable” and “My Heart Belongs to You” are very ballad-esque, slow kind of heartfelt songs. These songs just came about at a time in my life when that’s the way I was feeling about things. The music I love is the rock and roll music. That’s what I like to sing. That’s what I love. But sometimes you have to step out of the box a little bit and let people into your life a little more intimately.”
The singles “Inconsolable” and “Here to There,” and the album “Unleashed” are available for download through iTunes. “My Heart Belongs To You” will likely be as well, soon after the Dec. 5 show, Nikki says.
You can listen to a YouTube version of “Inconsolable” below. And you can listen to several tunes off Nikki’s “Unleashed” album, including “If I Was a Boy,” by heading to her MySpace page. Here’s the banner, showing all the performers who will take the stage during the Dec. 5 American Christmas show in the Napa Valley, also available via Webcast.
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