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Kim Smyth


Last Updated: 12/21/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 27
Sign: Gemini

City: Paved Paradise
State: Texas
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/18/2003

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Friday, March 09, 2007 
 www.poopreport.com/peace

The east hates the west. The Christians hate the Muslims. The liberals hate the conservatives. The Sunnis hate the Shiites. All across the globe, the chasm dividing humanity is ever deeper. In all the world's wars against terror, the distinction of who is perpetrating which depends on what side you ask -- so divided are we as a species that we can't even agree why we're killing each other.

For there to be peace, there must be understanding. For there to be understanding, there must be a common ground. But the further the chasm deepens, the more fundamental to basic human nature the common ground has to be.

And so April 13 is Poop For Peace Day.

Poop is the one experience all human beings have in common. We may have varying ideas of God and politics, but the power of an impending poop is a higher calling to which every human must answer. Side by side in a public bathroom, any two human beings are stripped of their differences and reduced to their most basic essence: a pair of feet sticking out below the stall, and a pair of butt trumpets performing a greasy symphony to lament humanity's non-negotiable deference to the call of the vile.

Under the influence of Taco Bell, there is no Christian or Muslim or Jew. There are only human bodies, reacting to the complications of digestion in the same predictable and malodorous ways. Poop wields supreme power over our bodies -- when poop calls, you answer, or you face the consequences. Poop is our cruel tyrant, our fickle deity, our omnipotent oppressor -- it is a force to which every human being has no choice but to submit.

And recognizing this is the first step toward world peace.

Poop For Peace Day is not a day of protest. Pooping for peace is not a left-wing or right-wing activity. Pooping for peace is an act of unity. It's not about religion or politics. Rather, it's about the simple truth: underlying our religions and our politics are universal needs, wants and desires. To poop for peace is to transcend arbitrary divisions and embrace that which makes us human. Only from starting at such a fundamental truism can we hope to expand our understandings and solve our differences.

On April 13, take some time to think when you take your time to stink. Think of yourself on your toilet, and George W. Bush on his, and Osama and Ahmadinejad on theirs. Think about the children of Iraq and the children of America, and realize that while their skins are different colors and their gods have different names, their daily ritual is exactly the same. We all poop, which means we're all human, which means we're all brothers and sisters. Any other differences are arbitrary -- we are all united in the daily struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.

Monday, November 06, 2006 

I'm through begging you all to vote for Kinky. I've got to leave it to the hand of the Texan voters. I want to direct my position a bit to address ALL of my friends in the United States.

 

(yea yea, most of my "friends" on myspace will not even read this-bands, comedians, or people who just don't care what little ole me has to say...but this effort to get the information out to the people who may not know is not a task to be ignored.)

 

There are so many other issues involving the house and senate that everyone needs to be aware of before you vote tomorrow. (If you haven't already.)

 

There is an equation-democracy used to pride on it. When the president and his cabinet represent one party-the congress will have majority of the opposing party....thus creating a fair democracy representing both parties and the majority of our people's views. The government can't please all- but, neutrality should be a key objective. When exactly did all of this get washed down the drain? When I look at the current roster of officials in congress....it's a long, long list of republicans carrying out bush's agenda. I call this, "the Tao of absurdity."

 

Put the war aside for a bit, and there are still a handful of problems we face that are being ignored. I can't quite understand how we have managed to elect officials that are somehow turning back our evolutionary advancement.

 

Two issues I feel strongly about: women's' rights and environmental protection.

 

Women's' rights. What is happening here? Yes, sure we finally got the plan B pill approved, but there are already gobs of republican officials working their little brains to death trying to overturn it. Instead, these "geniuses" actually think that abstinence is the only key method in keeping our little ones from becoming tramps and pimps. Abstinence? What a joke. I was a good little girl-but I can't speak for all of my friends growing up. At the tender ages of adolescence, kids can't keep their minds off of the discovery of sex and sex-related matter. Spin the bottle, anyone? We all did. Show me yours and I'll show you mine? Yep-that too. It's a natural progression to a healthy sex life when you reach adulthood, I think. And we can all still blame that marvelous little box for sending sex related messages to the kids. It's ok-you can love your TV and blame it at the same time. You can also feel better about all the junk you watch so long as you squeeze in an educational program once in awhile.

 

So, back to women's' rights. are we, the women, to blame and be shunned as hussies for getting knocked up when state governments are pushing their distorted views onto the school programs that absolutely educated us in proper sex management? How can we learn that sex is better left for the mature if the sex education is removed from our lessons growing up? And if we, the women, are to blame, then that is ultimately why our rights to choose are dwindling, right? If we refuse sex at a young age by forgetting it exists, then we are responsible for what happens in adulthood and must pay for our mistakes? That seems a bit unwarranted. And even more so unjust is that the unwanted children eventually pay for those mistakes. Those mistakes that could have been prevented with proper sex education. That doesn't mean that if you teach every kid in America to put a condom on a banana, that there will never be an unwanted pregnancy. But.....wouldn't it help?

 

"freakanomics." go read it. It's genius. I learned that economics has a lot to teach us. One chapter illustrates the cause and effects on the legalization of abortion. The common thought is that crime is and has been increasing constantly since, say the depression age. What you don't know, thanks to media and its increasing desire to bring you the harsh, dark facts is that crime has been decreasing steadily for the last 15 or so years. Why?

There is a correlation: the legalization of abortion. When roe vs. wade was established, millions of women had the right to choose. Prior to, many of the rich and white women were able to find a discreet doctor and the lot of money to perform the "procedure," but what about the poor and minorities? The prostitutes? What happened with their unwanted pregnancies? Unwanted children. What happens to unwanted children with families on the streets or in poor neighborhoods? They turn to crime. Statistically, this is been proved true. Not that growing up in poverty turns one to a life of crime, but that a child growing up in poverty with no love in a family does not know the meaning of love and consideration. These are emotions valuable to the development of one's healthy mental state. Bottom line- the legalization of abortion absolutely led to a decrease in future criminals. no one can possible agree that abortion is a positive form of birth control, but many factors can be determined to prove that abortion should be readily available to those in need.

 

Hopefully, with that being said, I have broadened the minds of some who actively fight the laws of abortion. Human life is precious-yes. So why give the unwanted children a life in which can ultimately harm their well-being and their pursuit of happiness?

 

Environmentalism. With war the most prominent issue on the mind of the world, our environment has been put on the backburner. It's hard for me to believe that most of the officials in power right now have an immediate plan for the future of our natural world.

I invite you to take a look at a list of issues that have been brought to congress and have been dismissed for one reason or another.

 

Conservation Report Card:

http://actionfund.defenders.org/site/VoteCenter?page=voteList&s_Affiliate=c406_

 

If you did not check that out, I can sum up a few things for you.

 

The drilling in the artic: it was a close vote. rather than put investment into seeking other forms of energy-our congress has chosen to deplete every ounce of oil in the soils of our land, at the cost of the many forms of wildlife-many in danger of extinction. Now, they did however pass an amendment to protect against construction in one valuable forest, the Tongass. Not much when you waive the environmental laws that protect the wildlife in many other areas of our national forests. So, what is the answer? I don't have it, but I know that ignorance is not bliss at all times. I know there is funding for other sources of energy-but not as much as we need to revolutionanize our ideas on conserving the environment.

 

Offshore drilling:

"The House voted to lift the 25 year bi-partisan moratorium on offshore natural gas drilling and replace it with weak protections that are unlikely to protect our coasts, marine wildlife and oceans from the routine pollution associated with oil and gas drilling."

 

What did the politicians in the past know that our politicians do not today? And no one can tell me scientists and environmentalists did not know of the depletion of our natural resources. You can not convince me that this information was not relayed to the proper individuals. I remember it clearly in seventh grade science class: a list of our natural resources and their life expectancy clearly drawn out for a 12 year old to understand. And I understood undeniably-that plenty of these resources would time out in my lifetime. 

 

My point of all this rambling: there is information out there to educate you, me...all of us that we need to be aware of. Forget your blasé view on politics and your carefree attitude to leave politics to the politicians. They can't do it without us- trust me.

Take an hour or two today or tonight...and try to understand what's going on out there. Try and make a difference in our congress. Educate yourself on your stands. Talk and share your knowledge.  Recognize both sides and make well-informed opinions. Tomorrow is so important to America-this is THE TIME for the opportunity to attempt to make congress balanced again.

Friday, June 30, 2006 

Category: Music

Funk tha' Heat! Festival will be held at Helio's on 411 Westheimer on Saturday, July 22 all day and night from 2pm-2am. Chill out and be serendaded by 12 Texas bands(check them out below) while we nourish you with hot dogs and hamburgers straight off the grill. Cool off with complimentary popsicles and take shade under some of our tents which will feature some of our friends and supporters such as Rockin' For Rise, Houston Women's Festival, and many more. $7 gets you a wristband for all day/all night re-entry access. All ages until 9pm.

Lineup for the Outside Stage:

W the Letter

skyblue 72

Stadium

Little Brother Project

Blendt

J Price

Motion Turns It On

Lineup for the Inside Stage:

Low Line Caller

Economy

Floorboard Instructional

2 others TBA

For more information on the bands or event, go to:

www.myspace.com/funkthaheat


Friday, November 25, 2005 

Monday, December 19th at The Vault, 723 Main St. Houston 77002

"It's like your holiday office party, but the secretaries won't be the only ones stripping!"

I am hosting a holiday comedy show that showcases 16 of Texas' best comedians, including Sean Rouse of "Comedy Central's Insomniac Tour with Dave Attell" and Claude Stuart of "Best Damn Sports Show" and recently "That 70's Show." The lineup is amazing, including locals from Houston and surrounding areas:

(in no particular order)

Sean Rouse

Claude Stuart

Slim Bloodworth

Jerry Wayne

Eric Dieckman

Marty Finkelstein

Shawn Halpin

Robin Weinburgh

Ben Mowbray

Paul Oddo

Bob Biggerstaff

Danny Rios

Harris Wittels

Scott Allen

Kris Knight

Dianne Cupps

Tickets to show available at the door, $3 or an unwrapped gift benefiting Toys For Tots. Show starts promptly at 8PM. Please go to:

http://www.myspace.com/kimstemporaryproductions

for more information also contact:

Kimberlee Smyth-event organizer

kimstemporaryproductions@yahoo.com

 

Tuesday, February 15, 2005 

"gateway to the soul for the passive kind"-definition of a blog.


"like two cowgirls driving into the sunset"-road trips with steph.

"the taller the heels, the closer to jesus"-"the bigger the hair the closer to god"
"every hole has it's chance for glory..."-kenny blankenship of mXc.
"here's a fun fact...."-my new favorite thing to say.
"the only difference between me and a madman is that i'm not mad"-almost as genius as his work(salvador dali).
"life...is to live..."-worst qoute ever. (by one of the dudes of U2 at grammy's).
"life...is what happens when you're busy making plans"-a GOOD quote from a great performer-John Lennon.
"you're the happiest person i've ever pulled over"-what the cop said to me friday.
"my space is like shopping for friends"-nicole tells it like it is.
"kinky for governer"-yea, i agree.
"como se dice........"-americans in mexico.
"don't call me, i'll call you."-what i wish i could say to some people.
"showin' off his "male-sacs"-was that supposed to be a mating call?
"rock and/or roll"-choose it.
"that equals true"-best answer to replace "yes".....marc's a comedy genius.
"look, kim...i'm gonna need ya to....zzzzzzzz..."-walter's drunk.
"dancing is silent poetry"-simonides said circa 500 b.c.
"he's missing his special part"-ben and i visit the sclupture garden today.
"did you just say penis? it's PEANUTS."-the daily show rocks.
"have you ever felt so happy, you almost couldn't stand it?"-all the time.
"how bout cooking up a nice bowl of SHUTTY STEW!"-Kevin James, you rock my world.
"give her the hot beef injection."-steph-can you handle it?
"that's the way the baklava crumbles"-yep.
"i caught you a delicious bass"-go see napolean dynomite-you'll get it.
"i'm not gonna sass it up in the dollar store!"-aww, come on steph. sass is your middle name!
"mellow mood has got me, so let the music rock me"-bob marley said it, and i am feeling it.

"are you tired of reading this?"-i'm tired of writing it.