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Last Updated: 12/2/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 17
Sign: Taurus

City: [[417]]
State: Missouri
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/6/2006

Blog Archive
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Friday, January 02, 2009 

Current mood:Honest.
Yeah yeahh. I know, I stole this from my Brooklyn(:

If you want to know what I think about you.
Post your name, then check back for the answer(:
Saturday, December 06, 2008 

Current mood:Focusedd
So if you have recently been thinking about suicide please read this. And the rest of you too, just in case you ever feel like this or need to help someone in this situation.


There is more to life than love, family and friends. There is hope and future. Your life may not be perfect but no one's life is.


People will hate you no matter what you do, or where you go in life. I mean, just look at famous people. People hate them too, yet they still stay strong, for the most part. Everyone is hated by at least one person, it's a part of life. You can't go about making everyone happy, things just don't work that way, someone will always talk shit. Also, no matter what, there will be people who betray you in some form or another, it happens to everyone. The best thing you can do is to keep your head held high, your hopes alive, and a smile on your face. Because, those people want to see you fall, don't give them that satisfaction.


Everyone makes mistakes, it's a huge part of life. It's just something you have to learn to live with , something you have to learn to accept. It's a part of being human, there is NOT one of us who hasn't made several mistakes. Those mistakes are what make us who we are, what shape us into the people we become.


Life is a journey, a magnificent one at that. Sure, there will be heartbreaks, crushes, love, friendships, losses, illness, and so on along the way. But it's up to you whether you make it miserable by concentrating on all the bad stuff or make it completely wonderful by staying hopeful and optimistic. Make the best of what you have, seriously. Party harder, love longer, laugh until you pee your pants, be loud, be random, and be unique. Don't live with regrets and/or grudges. They'll tear you apart. Forgive and forget. Tell people what you're thinking, don't keep thoughts to yourself. Never hold anything back, words unspoken can be your demise. Be forward, be blunt, and be honest. Never let the world or other people push you around. Live the way you want to live. Live your life to the fullest. Make something of yourself.


If you make the choice to screw everything up by ending your own life then you will never have the chance to meet those people later in life that will build you up. Those friends who will be there for you until the end, the friends that will stick by you through thick and thin and be there for you forever. Hell, you may have already met those friends but you don't realize it. You'll never have the chance to meet your special someone, the person who will love you no matter what, the person who will adore your flaws and the great things about you, and the person who will love you until the day you die. You're also ruining other people with this decision, no matter what you think, someone will always care, for every person out there, there's at least one person who cares. Suicide isn't something that's been written in fate, you've got to deal with the hardships in a positive way, you've got to learn to love who you are, and who you will become!


Just think about it. Don't do something rash, or something that could hurt other people. Just wait out the storm. There's always rain before the rainbow. If you get down, wait it out, keep on the down low until you get your head on straight. Then put a smile on your face and make your dreams come true. Go out and find what/who makes you happy. So, now. Maybe you'll think twice about your suicide?

-Ellie-
Thursday, August 14, 2008 

Current mood:  drained

R.i.p.
Benjamin Paul Smith
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
9:45AM
St. John's ICU

I don't know where to start but it's already ended.
Uncle Ben, or as a lot of my friends knew him, Drunkle Ben.
Well, I didn't get to see him a whole lot during my life time buuuuut that will never change my opinion of him.
He was one of the most random people I have ever met and we could carry on a conversation for hours about pretty much anything and nothing.
He recently moved up here to Missouri from Texas and for about two or three months of that time he was staying in Mount Vernon until he moved in with us and slept on our couch(:
He got along with ALL of my friends, the ones he met anyways. I remember one night I had a few friends over and we sat at my dining room table until 3AM talking with my uncle about random stuff that made no sense and had NO connection to anything else we had been talking about.

He was always trying to keep things as peaceful as possible around "The Smith House".
Not a day went by that he didn't grab up the guitar and start strumming out random songs and making up lyrics as he went along, it was just habit, part of a daily routine that I grew accustomed to.
I feel like I'm trying to write a book here, only that'd be a whole lot easier than this is. God, I've never been good at writing stuff like this, but bear with me, okay?

Today is a day that will live forever in infamy for our family and family friends.
It's not something that we've had to deal with too much, the death of a close relative but it happens I suppose.
And as everyone always says, he's in a better place, right?
We'll miss and remember him forever and eternity.

For everyone who stuck by me the past couple days, thank you.
It means a lot to me, really, it does. It also helped me discover the people who'd be there for me through pretty much anything.
Emmy, Brookie, and anyone else who was texting me.
I love you guys, a lot.
<3

Thank you.
Rest in peace Uncle Ben.