Ok we back with a new blog people!

 OK people I'm backkkkk!  Been gone for a minute but this time around we're gonna be more consistent with the blogs so get ready!  Today we're gonna talk about your worst dates ever!  HELL DATE volume 1!

     Now I been thru alot of hell dates.  Now Some of ya'll women got the diva mentality, like a nigga owe you somethin before he even meet you.  This is a Diva in a white dress:


 

This is not a diva in a white dress:


 

Thats good you're askin for alot, well I got somethin for your ass


 


So my theory is check your attitude, lol!  Well not to seem like I always target the women, lemme talk to my dudes for a minute.  Women don't like a cheap nigga.  I aint sayin make it rain on them hoes..


 

but at the same time let's try not to be cheap.  Don't take shorty to the movies and say she can have popcorn and no soda.  Or soda and no popcorn.  Or when the bill comes around u make one of these faces..


 

cuz trust and beleive shorty gonna look at you like


 

and you dont want that to happen!

So on that note it's 2009 HELL DATE competition.  We're gonna trade off the worst stories ever and see which person here had the worst date ever!

It's been a minute but I'm back on my bullshit!!!
Today we gonna talk about a topic that never gets old.  A topic that has repeated itself since the beggining of time and ain't going nowhere...
TURN OFFS.....(drum roll)
Now everybody has certain turn ons and turn offs, so lets discuss a few of them here.  Now me personally, I love pretty feet, not that I'm some kind of perverted toe sucker or anything, but some of ya'll women look like this..

with feet that look like THIS

WTF get out of my house you ugly foots bitch!   AAAARGH!
O yea and lets not forget the worst one.  The Notorious H.O.T.(hot breath)
Dont talk to me like shit is sweet, play me madd close and your breath smell like this...

Wtf did you have for breakfast?  ASS???
And chances are if you got a close homegirl, her breath may be stink too, when ya'll talk its like this

Jesus get me a gas mask, this stink breath girl is killing me

Ok I got one more, now I know you women reading this have plenty to say but I gotta air out one more problem then you can vent as much as you want..,,Now there's another thing I reallly realllly hate...

a hairy pussy....
That pic may be cute but it aint that cute in real life...dont have some vines comin out the side of your panties and talkin about eat me out....fuckkkk thattt hairy girl

this is NOT that type of party!!  Damn how hard is it to shave, use Nair or somethin, stop actin like its so hard!
OK I'm done for now, now I want to know what turns ya'll off, let's air it all out!

Ok its been a lil while but I'm back with a new blog!  In this topic we're gonna discuss the best ways to holla at somebody in the street.  Lets run thru a few scenarios.

    Ok now you see a nice lookin tenderoni walkin in your direction.  Now there's several ways to handle this situation.  You can go the old "in the club route" and grab her hand while she walks.  But sometimes she may give you this look..

and trust me this is never a good thing...

Or you can say such famous lines such as "yo ma", or "shortyyy" or "yerrr" which always get a response, sometimes not good tho.  In case you get ignored you can always resort to..

that is guaranteed to get her attention (if she flips out then you can say you only called her bitch cuz you aint know her name).

Personally I approach shorty as best as possible and try to seal the deal.  If she says she got a man I got my 1 - 2 counter (lets be friends)Let's be friends =

and everybody knows that already!

    So for the ladies I want to hear your worst or funniest street bagging stories, and for the guys we're gonna talk about our worst or funniest stories!

Ok I got somethin new for todays topic.  Let's see what ya'll gotta say about this one!

Now

 

 I like to slap ass and watch it jiggle, squeeze a few tits here and there.  But would I wife one up?  I dont know if I would be comfortable knowing someone else is slappin my wifey's ass better than me.  Or shes rubbin on some dick for a few dollars.

And I like porn Stars.  I, like every black man in America, loves Pinky

I mean, she is my diva, my cupcake, the apple of my eye, etc etc.  But it may not sit well with me when I watch thru my porn archives and see all these strangers squirting on her face and everywhere else

Now this goes for you females too.  Would you mind having a hubby, thugged out, gettin his money, yadda yadda yadda.  But at night he's a sassy male stripper at a sleezy club

WTF

Now could you stick with him knowing damn well women (and possibly men) are fondling his unmentionables?  I want to hear what the people have to say, can you fuck with someone in the XXX industry???

Ok for today's topic we're gonna discuss somethin and I want the guys and females to join in on this one.  Now we gotta define "trickin"...

Now let's say a guy buys you flowers, clothes, shoes, jewelry and all that good stuff, now let's say that guy only known you for about....hmmm.....

10 MINUTES

shouldn't that set off some type of red flag, like this is kinda strange

homie dont know you from a hole in the wall and he's willing to splurge on you.  You think that makes you special??

Hell no you aint special, you just so happened to bump into some trick ass nigga that loves to spend money on strangers.  Now I aint mad at you for finding him, but don't let reality hit you when the next guy you meets aint that much of a sucka, errrrr, generous.

I was at a club a few nights ago dancin with a shorty, she told me she was thirsty.....

I said "ME TOO MAMI, SO AFTER YOU PAY FOR YOURS GET ME ONE TOO!"  Needless to say she was a lil upset, lol.

Anyway I wanna hear your stories and opinions.  No need to put anybody's names on blasts, unless they really deserve it!

P.S.  play this vid with your volume up...

.." target="_self">I like to trick

Now todays question has been asked for thousands of years (I guess)

DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER?

Now some women say it does, some say it doesnt matter, those girls say "its how you use it".  Well we’re gonna debate that today.  Cuz that would mean if my dick was the size of a baby’s thumb..

I doubt even if I had the moves of a porn star I wouldn’t do much damage.  And you would most likely be upset you even got naked with me.

And for the record, any woman that knows me know’s I’m packin a lil sumthin sumthin

so more than likely I can hit every corner real easy....But on more than one ocassion I’ve had some WOP (Wide Open Pussy).  It’s terrible, so wide that a wrong stroke will make you fall in

If you have this problem, do something about it ASAP!  So back to the main question ladies....DOES SIZE MATTER!

Ok everyone for todays topic we gonna touch on something kinda touchy.  The question of the day is, if someone cheats should you take them back, and how much cheating is enough!

     Now cheating can be a real messy topic.  personally its hard for me to tongue down my girl after I know she's been smutted around and her mouth has been used for more than talking...

On a positive note, the other guy maybe helping you by..

But we rarely think of the benefits.  And for the record men cheat too.  But our cheating is different.  By AMR (American man rules) we are not considered cheaters unless we are caught.  So we can be a

as much as we want because we're not cheating..

Now the question is when is cheating enough?  How many times should you get women calling up your phone telling you they fuckin your man before you realize, he may not really be that faithful.  And guys, how many times do you have to kiss your girl and realize her breath smells like hot dick and ass before you realize, she may not be that wholesome

Everyone always says "well if I catch him cheating once we're thru" and to you women I say

Lets get some real comments and answers everyone!

Now todays topic is Beauty vs. The Brain.  So thats physical vs the mental and what attracts you more to the person.  Lets start with something for the ladies...

Ok lets say you meet homie, he's got a good job, no kids, his own crib, a nice whip, and he knows how to treat a woman, sounds good right?  Ok lets say the same dude also has uhmmm lets see....a head the size of a watermelon.  Or maybe his eyes are too close together and they crosseyed.  Or maybe hes got the dick the size of a lil child (NO HOMO). 

Now would you still mess with him? 

 And on the other hand you've got the guy that looks like your dream man but hes as dumb as a rock, who would you take...hmmmm??

Now for the guys, you meet shorty thats a grade A student, good job, no kids, her own whip and lives alone.  Of course she is fat, I mean so fat you cant even find her cooch fat, uhmm, lets say bad weave and ugly toes. 

On the other hand you got the Diva sexy ass Dime thats just so brainless but she looks sooo good.

What do u value more, beauty or brains?

Me personally, I'll take the dumb bitch.  Like my partner Biz says, you can buy the dumb chick books and shit, make her read....there is no cure for ugliness...

 

Now we all know Men and Women speak in certain codes, and by not understanding a certain code you can walk into a trap and make a serious mistake.  Now lets see if we can unravel the code, we'll start with guys...

"I know you got a man, but I just want to be your friend:    Since you wanna play games I'll just play the friend role and try to creep my way to your panties.

"My baby moms be wildin sometimes but your good with me":    She wildin cuz she his wifey and probably lives with him thats why u never seen his crib

"I'm in between jobs right now, about to go back to school":    bitch, I aint been workin since I dropped out of 11th grade, why should I start now?

"C'mon I know you heard of me, Everybodyyyy in the hood knows my name":    Yea cuz you was the "Goto" guy in the hood.  If you need anything from the store, you need a dutch and a soda, send him.  need some sunflower seeds and doritos, send him

"Niggas be hatin on me cuz the girls like me":    Yea more like the fat and desperate.  Even your baby moms is "everybodys" baby moms.  you was just the one that wanted to accept her and her 4 previous kids from 4 different dudes.

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE PART...THE WOMEN!!

 

"I've only had sex with 3 different guys":    Man you double whatever number she gives you, triple it if she got a tounge ring and more than 4 tattoos then add 5!

"you know I go to the doctor at least once a month, I'm not like these dirty bitches out here!"    No, shes worse, cuz there's something she keeps gettin refilled...

"I got a man but we can be friends"    Shes a whore and you're her jumpoff, go with the flow

"How would you feel if I told you I was pregnant?"    Shes been pregnant for at least 3 months and she finally either had the heart to tell you, or just narrowed you down to be the father

"you know I dont do this to every guy.."    Sike, that chick is a pro, she can suck the chrome off a chevy

"I tried the girl on girl thing but it wasnt for me.."    She'll fuck your sister if you give her the chance

"ok if you got liquor in the crib I'll come over to chill.  But NO SEX!":    Thats a typical "I'm not a smut" talk.  Do urself a favor and have the condoms ready cuz her legs are...

"My last boyfriend was the worst, I HATE him so much!":    Bet that nigga come back she'll hop on his dick, lol.

"Its like everytime you want me to come over I'm on my period!"    Get a clue genius

"I look just like my pics on myspace, I just put on a lil weight":    I'm so fat I need a bigger camera to take recent pics.  You never see a body pic cuz you would need to stand 15 feet back just to fit my behemoth ass in a picture.

"Damn why you always spenidn all your time with your boys, theres somethin funny about them..."

"I'm used to dealin with hustlers":    I supported my last boyfriends starving weed business thinkin he was gonna be the next Tony Montana.

AND FINALLY:

"I cant beleive I did this on the 1st date with you!!"    More like, I cant beleive there was a 1st date.  My closest thing to a date was the 4 hr stay at the Telly and you actually took me out.  I should have milked you for more dates but my smutness leaked out and I gave you the ass on impulse!   

Now everyone, leave some comments and if you have more to share lets see what we can learn from each other!