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Hugh



Last Updated: 5/30/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Swinger
Age: 36
Sign: Libra

Country: UK
Signup Date: 2/8/2006

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Friday, October 31, 2008 

I feel sad as after twelve and a half years of partnership John and I have decided to call it a day.

Over the last couple of years a lot has happened that's changed the face of our relationship and we've both come to the conclusion that it would be better to stop where we are while we're still ahead.

I am happy to say that both we're still going to be close friends and to be honest not much will change, there will still be the 8am call to say that we both did bugger all the previous night, the secret presents that just appear in his postbox, the pointing out at how grey we're both going and those long nights of drinking too much singing too much and regretting it all again the next day. It's just that now we'll be single.

I want to thnk John for being so sweet and patient with me for these years and, hey, you just never know what's down the line. Do you? I mean it's not like we can travel in time.......

"I just wanna say before I go that you were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I"

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 
"What's the blues when you got the greys?"
 
Frightened Rabbit, one of my favourite bands sang that and they've got it spot on, living here under grey skies, our concrete roof bares down on our rain soaked heads and makes the blues seem like a much more attractive and colourful prospect. Sometimes I feel as a nation we revel in our melacholy. If we're not drinking too much and depressing ourselves we're eating the wrong things blinkering ourselves to the ill effects it has on our systems. Or is this just me?
 
I've been going to the gym rather regularly and have changed my diet to a less self-destructive intake but it didn't seem to be having any change UNTIL I came across a cache of old photos (but no invitations to teenage parties) and realised that actually I had changed more than I though. In fact what was more shocking to me was that I wasn't aware of how big I was at the time. Perhaps a lack of self awareness at the time or just a complete lack of care maybe just being too settled and happily quaffing a bottle of wine each night whilst sitting watching the TV was the cause but it's lifted the greys for a bit and has got me more motivated with regards to being active and watching what I eat, although I refuse to cut out all the things I like but more moderation has been called into effect.
 
So I've put one of those pictures up on a website just to keep driving me forward and give me a little motivation. Here's hoping that maybe in a year's time I'll be back here with further improvements. I certainly feel mentally better when I come out of the gym after a couple of hours sweating and straining (which I've just noticed sounds a lot like sex).
Friday, August 08, 2008 

"If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants."

You should know the author of that quote, you're smart enough and if not Google it but I know most of you won't because my friends you're very clever. And I say my friends, which is a bit presumptuous of me or maybe it's not there's a good few people read these blogs (and a Jim'll Fix It badge will be winging it's way to you as we speak) and if you've never met me and would like to consider yourself my friend, then please go ahead be my guest you're welcome.

However I'm going to talk about the friends that have met me or at least some thoughts on them and of course to spare your blushes I shall not name anyone by name. I'm a reasonably self-aware person but at the same time I have a lot of self doubt which makes for a conflicted mind and that's just my not-at all professional perception so God knows what you poor souls must think of me.

I know what I think of you, don't worry it's mostly all good. They say we can't pick our family but we can pick our friends. That's bullshit isn't it? You don't choose your friends, you work with them, bump into them accidentally, you meet at school, chat online because there was something funny in their profile, you share a mutual hatred of someone you both once liked and many million other reasons what you never do is see someone and think "By Jove! I Like the cut of their jib! We shall be friends! If only because of our love of exclimation marks!" Because people that see other people and mark them out as future friends have a name - Stalkers.

We fall together and find the little bits of life we can't explain get solutions in some way or other through these people and they get that from us. Sometimes it's an eternal bond which no manner of fighting and arguing can decay, sometimes nothing but a summer friendship which only lives wrapped in a memory of senses, they all mean something.

Sometimes you get that jolting situation where the friendship sours for whatever reason and you question yourself as to what and why went wrong, or a least I do. On my shoulders I carry the guilt even if  I haven't done wrong (from my perspective at least) because it means that much to me. A situation has occurred recently like this and once again I felt myself searching my soul as to what I had done. And after those twelve seconds had passed I thought "Fuck it"

Oh who gives a fuck? I'm not in the mood to start worrying over what I've said or done, if my friends know me then they've accepted me and if I've been hugely out of order then I'll know that I have to make amends. This time I get a load of bullshit for a pretty lame reason and for once I've just decided to shrug it off and get on with life because you know it's going past my eyes so very fast and I don't want to waste time fretting about stuff like this.

Even so I won't discount such an ally even if I feel they're being totally unjustified and, to be honest overly dramatic because they've still been good to me at some point.

I appreciate all my friends past, present and future even the ones that aren't in my life at this time, because if the person I am now is even halfway decent it's from being around the very best of people I could meet on this planet. Yes, even when they're being crap.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008 

I wrote a little kids story last night remembering how I loved stories as a kid but hated to be talked down to, so I've tried to write something I would've liked as a child. A little introductory story. It's unedited and the word document might mess up as it always does but I'm too tired to go through it all right now.

People that really know me may have met the two main characters.

 

The General and Miss Merri.

The deepest sleep comes in the dead of night, when we are most vulnerable, most relaxed and at the mercy of whatever would protect us. On the bed was three shapes almost impossible to see with the human eye but then human eyes are not the best eyes at night, there are much better to look through.

 

Silence filled the house from top to bottom nothing to wake the man sleeping but there was a whisper, a tiny noise trespassing in through the window.

A black triangular ear shot up at once, alert and searching through the darkness for the source of the tiny disturbance. The whisper came again and now a different head jolted from the other side of the bed whiskers catching the moonlight. Cats. Two of the shapes that were sleeping now fully awake and looking at each other, the larger blacker cat nodded slowly and solemnly at the smaller black and white cat who slinked off in search of the intruder while he himself poured off the bed in the opposite direction.

It had found a way into the house on the back of a moonbeam that was reflecting from a mirror, they almost always invaded through mirrors as it was so easy to travel undetected that way. It surveyed the room before floating through the mirror into the real world to seek its prey. The full moon always guaranteed an easy prey and a feast of restlessness and sometimes even despair.

Gliding through the shadows eager to deliver its gift of nightmares the psychic force danced from dusky corner to dusky corner closing in on the bed room when it stopped very suddenly. There was a cat, arch enemies of the psychic forces of the night, but this cat looked very young not yet trained in the way of human defence. It was small and female with a pink nose which the younger cats picked to be fashionable. This would be an easy fight, the little girl wouldn't know what hit her.

It dripped slowly down a shadow observing the sleepy swagger as she walked towards the kitchen for a three o'clock munch. It drew closer and closer to her slender form preparing a psychic shock. It gathered its darkness together and jumped from the shadows! However much to the shadow creature's shock the girl cat spun around in the flash of a second, claws fully extended and sliced a huge chunk of energy from its bulk.

It recoiled now seeing that this was a much older cat than he had anticipated. She was standing in an attack position ready to strike again one white paw raised with her top claw extended pointing in his direction like an invitation to come and see how good she was.

However the dark force did not flee for this was an ancient and battle hardened creature and even if this cat was better trained than he had first thought it could still be overcome besides with the injury it now needed sustenance more than ever and he had defeated bigger cats than this before.

'You are out of your league feline. I am older than even this city and will have my feast. No old hag like you shall deny my place at the supper table.' Came a hissed voice that no human would ever be able to hear.

 

The cat looked offended. '"Old Hag"? I'll have you know I'm in the prime of my life. A cat in kitten's clothing if you will. Now leave like a good unwelcome guest before I show you just how sharp my claws can be.' She purred silkily.

The force descended on her faster than she anticipated and enveloped her filling her will horrible feelings. Loneliness, hunger, coldness. She swiped wildly with her claws making her growling battle call but it had been right, she was out of her league. Still she fought, clawing chunks of the dark away sometimes missing and hitting the wall or a chair leg. The creature began it's final moves to finish the battle.

The cat was now losing badly and began to fill with despair when from nowhere powerful claws tore the psychic force in half. It cried out in shock, it hadn't sensed any other cats in the vicinity. Gathering what it could together it turned to see the other, older cat of the house glaring at him.

 

'Sir, I will be a gentleman and allow you the indignity of retreat before I redouble my efforts and dismember your force eternally.'

The psychic creature considered this but the fight had all but drained it. So it decided to make a last ditch attempt to feed on the sleeping human.

The male cat shook it's head and leapt at the evil shadow ripping it apart before it could even get through the bedroom door. It was clawed apart and would never feed on the energy of humans again.

Now the fight was over the male cat strolled over to the female cat.

 

'Miss Merri you took your eye off the ball. That could've been disastrous for you.'

'Well General Gatsby I don't know where I'd be without your impeccable timing. Very stylish.' She slinked past him smirking.

'If you hadn't done all that action hero posturing then your training would've been more than enough to off that vagabond, but no, you young folk have to "look cool"!'

Merri turned her head back to the general. 'And your telling me that your timing was nothing to do with "looking cool"?' Gatsby looked slightly blustered. 'It, it was nothing of the sort. I was merely observing you and how your training was holding up!'

The general looked a touch embarrassed now and was about to provide a counter argument when some restless noises started to come from the bedroom.

'Our human is being wakened now! We can discuss this when he leaves tomorrow, now come back in we still have a job to do!' And with that General Gatsby marched back into the bedroom mumbling to himself, Miss Merri rolled her eyes and trotted in after the general knowing their human was still safe and sound and hadn't a clue about what had happened in his own house.

Their human stirred for a moment in his bed mumbling himself about 'Those bloody cats miaowing' but then he turned over and went swiftly back to sleep.

His two cats took up their positions once more and pretended to be asleep while secretly keeping an eye out for any other threats whatever form they may take.

  

 

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 

Due to an unexpected fucking error the blog that should have been here right now and that I took a considerable amount of time to write has gone forever.

 

Sorry.

 

Monday, June 09, 2008 

I feel depression wrapping it's bony fingers around me again, it's loveless embrace and it's cold kiss. And aspects of my life seem to be broken and unfixable and the disaterous slide into self-pity is at my feet. None of this is of any use to me. I need something to lift me but not something external, something internal, it needs to be me. I need to find answers. So I ask myself the questions, a little counselling room inside my head with me playing both roles.

It's very odd I know but I found myself feeling hugely laden down walking home tonight and I was feeling dreadful and humourless when I started playing the role of counsellor to myself, not sure if this is narcissistic behavour or self-help in it's truest form but as I listed what bothers me I asked the questions as I would if I was in that role speaking to someone else. And you know what? I felt oddly calm. It seemed to work, the anxiety dissapated, the anger lifted and the worry departed. I didn't start walking on water or suddenly be able to lick my elbow (you can't even though you'll try) but I felt better.

The external problems haven't gone away but I feel a little better about myself for ten more minutes just because of a little schizophrenic therapy. Maybe people do this all the time and I've never done it I'm not sure. It's stupid and  probably pointless but I feel a little bit less stressed.

Oh and I've found a new fuction on my camera which is fun so here's a picture I took last night walking home, it's the Clyde Arc or 'The Squinty Bridge' at midnight in a panoramic view please enjoy.

Saturday, June 07, 2008 

As some of you may know I'm a Celtic FC supporter, now it's not all consuming like some fans' dedication but I enjoy it as a past time it's not as vital to me like music or Doctor Who but I'll go to a game now and again and enjoy the atmosphere and excitement.

I chose Celtic as my favoured team for a few reasons and number one would be that my family have always been big Celtic supporters in fact after I moved out of the family home I came back to visit to see that my bedroom had been completely transformed and pride of place on the wall was a painting of Celtic park. Dad was a BIG fan and all it took was a bad result to send him off in a mood sometime for a week if it was an old firm game (I'll expain the 'Old Firm' later for those that don't know what it is)

Another reason for chosing the Hoops (as they're known) is that they have a strong Irish connection as does my own family. And they have a better strip.

So I like Celtic who are one part of Glasgow's 'Old Firm' the other half being our deadly rivals - Rangers. Like it or not there has been a history of religious bigotry surrounding both teams Celtic being Catholic and Rangers being Protestant, now religious bias has never been a factor in which I have based any decision in my life my choice of school, the chapel I went to were all chosen by my parents and I don't really find much solace in the teachings of the Catholic church but I respect people that do, but I digress my friends when I grew up were mostly Protestant and Rangers fans cue much ribbing and name calling but never did it become serious so it's never been an issue for me.

Jump forward a bit to this year's 'holiday' to Magaluf and I'm with four other people and it only strikes me that they're ALL Rangers fans while I'm flying at 40, 00 feet. Not a problem never has been before so why should it be now?

Their choice of favourite pub is not really to my tastes. It's a Rangers bar.

Now this in itself is not a problem at all, I mean it's only a sports bar and the others seem to really love it so I shrug my shoulders and order some drinks and it's fine. And then Celtic rob Rangers of the Scottish Premiere League trophy, I was watching at a pub along the road which had enticed me in with the sight of some Glasgow boys sitting in their Celtic kit and when theyu won I was happy but a little part of me was dreading meeting up with the others. So off I go back to the Rangers pub and there they are ashen faced which melts away to maliciousness when they spot me coming in. I decide that gloating when I'm so far behind enemy lines would be both ungracious and possibly fatal. And they sneer for a bit but brighten up and start forgetting the football. Unfotunately the owner of the bar isn't in the mood to be as gracious in defeat as I've been in victory and starts to blast sectarian songs through the sound system. This doesn't sit well on my shoulders. I certainly wouldn't tolerate Celtic bigotry so I'm even less happy about this but I'm a reasonable man and I decide to sit it out although I am informed from one of my friends that my face is "Tripping me" You don't say.

Still I got the last laugh because the owner (Who still had no idea that I was a Celtic fan) then cranked up the karaoke and I gleefully sang my heart out to an old Neil Diamond song 'America' (not my choice the owner's choice) and as I sang a song that is about immigrants which let's face it was the whole basis for Celtic FC in the first place (the immigrants not Neil Diamond) I couldn't help but smile at the irony and also the fact that my father who was the basis for me choosing Celtic was also a massive Neil Diamond fan too.

Behind enemy lines, but in fine voice!

P.S. Here's me with the hoops on in Magaluf.

Sunday, June 01, 2008 

For the love of GOD! For all that is good, for your own sanity don't. Do not go on holiday to Magaluf.

Please tell me you have no intention to go there? Promise? Good, because children settle down and get comfy while ol' Uncle Huey tells you a sorry tale of the terror of the hen night banshees, the stag 'do' ghouls and the creeping flesh of the almost dead.

Ok, the big question here is "Why the fuck did you go to Magaluf in the first place?" So lets answer that question before we move on and at the same time give you the origin of this sad tale.

Couple of months ago a very good friend of mine asked me if I would like to join her and a few others on a holiday to that well known capital of culture - Magaluf? Being the boring old sod that I am I declined the offer and besides I didn't have enough holidays to cover it anyway but thank you very much for asking all the same. Hit the fast forward button and a month or so before the holiday someone backs out leaving a person-shaped void and the decision is made that I will be the very man to fill that void. I think this over and decide that even with it's horrible reputation surely a week in the sun will be beficial to my pale skin at the very least. So duty bound and in full 'investigative writer mode' I accept their kind invitation, so the stage is set and it's time to go and see if this little corner of Spain is worthy of it's reputation as being a little base.

Oh it does and then some.

Devoid of any culture whatsoever Magaluf is an absolute haven for people that break into a cold sweat at the very thought of a library, this is a place for people that's only exposure to culture has been eating yougurt. Street upon street of neon lit bars all of whom seem desperate to tell you they're British owned and yes, you CAN get proper Heinz tomato ketchup it's imported especially for you. I struggled with this as eating chip-shop food would surely be cheaper to eat without the three hour flight. Taking a leap of faith I asked for Paella as it was the closest to local fare on the menu but I was informed they didn't make it as no one ever asked for it. It was only on the menu to look good.

Tears come fast and furious in a town called Magaluf.

Hen nights and stag parties were everywhere and seeing all the shreking, fighting, vomiting, bad singing and general fucking in the streets brought home that although I came from humble beginnings I can't shake the fact that I can't even fake it in situations like this, I was never built for this kind of 'fun' and while I may seem a tad negative about it all I don't grudge the revellers their good times, I just know it's not my kind of scene.

So good for them, the Magaluf visitors, drinking until they can't focus on whomever they're having sex with in a way I envy them.

Doesn't mean I would like to be them though.

 

 

Next - Behind Enemy Lines. A Celtic man in a Rangers pub.

 

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 
Personally this was my most anticipated film of the year even over the next James Bond and Batman films, the previous installments of which have been almost flawless filmmaking never mind being excellent action movies, but this, THIS is Indiana Jones.
 
Indiana Jones has a special place in my heart as going to see 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom' was one of the few genuinely happy times of my childhood, a moment when my father and I connected entirely so a new Indy movie is a big deal with me.
 
So here's the BIG question what did I think about it and is it any good?
 
Well it had far too much expectation, with the exception of 'The Phantom Menace' this must surely be the next biggest franchise with the un-carrible burden of living up to a previous trilogy but can it, at least, get away with it? Yes it does.
Now that you've breathed out a sigh of relief let's get this straight, it's still the weakest instalment of the Indy films (In my opinion? Of course in my opinion, it's my blog what were you thinking this would be based on?) The 'artifact' they've used this time around just stretches disbelief just that bit too far and there's no escaping that Harrison Ford is 65, a very fit and althletic 65 maybe but it's hard to stop seeing your grandfather in some of those action scenes.
 
These are not 'Kingdom's' biggest problem, it's just too long, has too many characters, way too much exposition and too big a finale. It makes for an uneven feeling and the set pieces are linked very clunkily. This is another of those films that has suffered from too long in gestation and it's had an effect on the end result.
 
However it's time for the good stuff (yay!) some of the action sequences look wonderful and are absolutely nail biting stuff (the cliff-top chase being one of them) Shia Le Beouf is great and his chemistry with Ford is undeniable and it looks like an Indiana Jones film rather than one of the many rip offs that have sprung up since 'Raiders'.
 
Still it's good to have Indy back for at least one last romp and tell me your pulse doesn't quicken just a little when the Raiders march music starts to play?
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 
 
"I just wanna say, I haven’t been away, I’m still right here, where I always was" Morrissey - ’The Loop’
 
Reliable. Solid. Predictible. Firm. Steady. Loyal. Honourable. Dependable. There’s a lot to be said for being any or all of those things. I’d like to think I’m a solid and steadfast person, someone who can be trusted to be there where or when you need them but what happens when you live in the eye of the storm? What happens when you wake up one day and you realise that you’ve not grown as a person and nothing has happened or changed to you for a long time?
 
Maybe a cornier but more suitable line to have quoted was Take That - "Everything changes but you" Nothing has changed to me for so long with maybe the exception of some physical leaps towards the grave it’s all the same.
Complacency may be to blame, that feeling of being comfortable elimanating any growth of person. To be honest this is the most stable I’ve been in years but has it stopped any ambition or has it placed a fear of losing what I have?
I’ve never been reluctant to embrace change before, I’ve been reasonably positive about it but it feels like an empty room and the clock has stopped ticking, hmmm, actually that’s a bit dramatic, if honesty prevails it actually feels like being a huge flabby bastard eating huge amounts of cheesy Wotsits and only watching reality tv. Not that I do any of these things you understand.
 
Getting back on track it’s nice but a bit shit to be the reliable one, because you tend to be the one that people say "Oh, he/she’ll understand" vetoing whatever you have planned while they go do something more interesting with someone else, you know what I’m going on about there’s someone you’ve done that to once or twice, still you can nver tell what’s in store. All those reliable people may step out of their comfort zones and into the storm clutching bags of cheesy Wotsits.