In high school, I was a 3-year varsity cheerleader, I participated in dance, FFA, and other activities. Needless to say, I was very popular. I had a slight crush on one of my fellow classmates, he tells me that Im "fine for a Dark-Skinned girl, and he really likes me, but he only dates light-skinned girls." I don't understand how black people can discriminate against their own race, knowing we are already an oppressed people. When you look on tv sitcoms, music videos, and movies, you rarely see dark-skinned African-Americans. Especially in music videos, the women are fair, of mixed races, or not African-Americans at all. My point is this, African-Americans come in all colors, and we are all beautiful. We were physically enslaved for 400 years, and since we are a free people, we now need to let go of that slave mentality. If you are attracted to someone, be attracted to them without regarding their skin color. I don't care if Jesus Christ was purple, I follow Him for who He is, and what He has done for me, and not what He looks like. There was a blind girl that had a boyfriend that loved her so much that he didn't care about her being blind. Well the girl wanted to get eye transplants so she could see. She found a donor, so she had the eye surgery so she could see. Once she was able to see, she realized that her boyfriend was blind, too! She no longer wanted to be with him since he was blind, so she broke up with him. Her boyfriend was so distraught that he killed himself. Before doing so, he mailed her a letter, explaining that he loved her so much, and all he wanted to do was make her happy. He loved her so much that he donated his OWN eyes to her so that she could see. So he loved her despite her disability. Moral of the story : don't date or break up with people solely based on their physical features, because those change, but real love is hard to find, but lasts forever.

Well, as many of you now know, I'am married now to Micheal Tillman! We got married on Valentines Day of this year, and I just want to say that marriage is a beautiful thing that God created. I LOVE BEING A WIFE. Don't get me wrong, dating is cool. Yet, people can just up and decide they want to be single, without regards as to how you feel. And they may not take dating seriously, either. But, becoming a WIFE has taught me so much about myself, about my faith in God, and what it truly means to LOVE. My husband is so good to me. He takes care of me, and he would never allow anyone to hurt me physically, mentally, or emotionally. It hurts him when I'am hurt, and he loves me more than anything in this world. I cant imagine not hearing his laugh, or seeing his face in the audience when I have to sing. I have learned so much from him. Hes a real man that takes care of his responsibility, and I'am so blessed to have him. To all the women that read this : please know that you can find a good man, and you don't have to settle for anything. Maybe God is preparing you for your husband, but He may not feel you are ready yet. Study the Word, and ask Him for guidance. If you have kids, be the best mother you can be, and ask God to handle the rest. To the men : you cannot go around having various emotional, physical, and sexual relationships with hundreds of women, but yet you say you want a good wholesome woman. You have to be a good man in order to attract a good woman. Learn how to take care of yourself, and if you have kids, start by being a great father, and stop the dead-beat dad trend. Go to church, and allow God to minister to you and bless you to be what He created you to be. Everyday I just want to be the best that I can be. The best wife, best friend, best sister, best daughter, best student, and most importantly the best Christian that I can be. Everyday is a blessing. Yesterday is the past, and today is a blessing, and thats why its called the present. Jesus loves you, and so do I. Love, Mrs. Sydne Deshawn Tillman

There are so many things that I have learned about myself, and it's hard to know who you are sometimes when you are in a relationship. (Sometimes we get so caught up in the other person, that we forget ourselves.) It happens, and I'am not ashamed to say that I'am guilty of that.

But recently I have learned to love myself completely, and whole-heartedly. Why is self-acceptance, and self-love so important? Well, if you do not know how to love yourself, then how do you expect to love someone else? I have learned to be honest with who I'am, what I love about me, and the things that I believe need improvement.

Now, I can honestly say that I'am complete. My faith is on track, yet that doesnt mean that I do everything that I'm supposed to do, because I'am human. But I strive to do better and to be better. I have decided to seriously take up my walk with Christ. Meaning: no foul language, reading my Bible daily, informing others about Christ, taking my music seriously - singing Gospel music, no pre-maritial sex, and getting rid of all drama and foolishness that this life can bring your way.

Some of you may think that the type of lifestyle that I'am choosing to follow will be dull, boring, or a waste of time. Yet, I feel that my life is already fulfilled, and Im only half way there.

I said that to say this, you dont have to give away yourself to feel good about yourself. Real recoqnizes real. A real man/woman will love you for you, and not for what you have to offer them.

Whatever you do, always take care of yourself. Be a blessing to others, and God will bless you.

~Syd

 

If you are dating my ex, and you live in another state with him, why are you upset if I send him a message? If you are getting married to him, why do you get upset at the very thought of me?

If you care to know what Im referring to:

Here is my ex's new gal:

 

Naw, here is a better picture:

Now, please dont be deceived by this cute *hear the sarcasm*  smile; don't let it fool you. It's stupid that you would get upset that I sent him a message and you live in ANOTHER state with him...

   If you have that on lock, why are you worried about what I do? And if he really had a problem with me messaging him, why has he never said so?

Well, I never like for people to go off "he said, she said." So here is what she said, and here is what I said... enjoy!

I have learned so much about love, family, friends, and my faith this year. Its amazing how you can be on the right path and the devil can manipulate your strengh to increase your weaknesses. Im so very glad to say that I will be graduating from college soon, and God is constantly blessing me. Everyday He is worthy of the praise.