"You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do"

These are the thoughts that cross through my mind on a continual basis.  My past is catching up to me and i'm scared shitless of what might happen.  If you have known me over the past 3 years you have seen some definate changes in my personality and the way i treat others.  In the beginning, i was 280lbs and the shy, considerate, sometimes funny fat kid that only associated with a select group on a regular basis.  Over the course of the next year and a half i dropped to 180lbs.  Obviously i became more confident in the way i looked, fealt, and acted around others and began to hang out with a broader horizon of people.  But by doing so i lost something that i held dear at one time.  I lost my compassion for those that needed me most.  I slowly but sure became a prick to those around me that meant more than any.  I admit it, i was a prick, still have a little bit of it still in me, but i cant help that. I've lost a lot and gained little, but we all make mistakes.  I need those of you who know who you are to bare with me while i get my shit together.  Eventually, I will arrive at a place where i can be the man i once was, as well as the pros of the current "me", that is my penultimate goal at this time.  Ultimate goal being to beat solitaire! lol, not really but it is to right as much of the wrongs as i can...as i said..bare with me, it is going to take more than just a day for me to do this.  But let me end with this, "I'm sorry.  It takes an outsider to look in and say, 'you fucked up here', what i am attempting to do is look out into the mess i have caused and admit to myself, 'i fucked up, time to tidy this mess up'."

peace

Adam

That guy

You come to me
when you find yourself
looking desperately
for someone to love

You come to me
when you are having
troubles constantly
not knowing what you want

When he treats you like shit
And you think you can't go on
Even in your despartive pit
You think only of him

You blindly ask me
why can't i find a good guy
but i tell you honestly
you are looking in the wrong place

I am that that guy
that has always been here for you
But when you look for that guy
I'm the one that gets looked through

-Adam

It seems to me that, as a person grows and has children of their own, the subconcious way of living is based on the parenting skills that their parents exhibbitted.  If a child grows up in an environment where the prominent parent is consistently working for the necessities of life, showing little 'love' to the child besides keeping them clothed or fed, the child is more like to become a self-sufficient workaholic with much to show for by the age of twenty.  Assuming that they are not subject to extenuating cercumstances such as pregnancy, drug usage, or a criminal history.  Adversely, if a child is raised in a nurturing life-style, where the dominent parent works for the same goals, but shows their love in a direct manner, essentially handing the child whatever they want or feal they need, the child will grow up to be a less independant and will take longer to self-actualize and become productive to themselves as well as their community.  Of the two individuals, the 'less love' will be more likely to show their child the same 'low contact' parenting skills their parent(s) exhibitted towards them.  Whereas the 'loved' child will be more likely to spoil their child and raise a child that will come to expect things to be given to them throughout a good majority of their life.  These people will have a dependancy to their parental figure throughout a good portion of their twenties.  Which category do you fall under?  Once you realize your pattern and decide that you are one of the two types of people, you then have to figure out, for the sake of your child, which type of person you will become in the following days/months/years.

Until next time,

Adam

There Comes a time in every person's life when they have to evaluate their life comparatively against the goals they have set for themselves.  At this juncture, it is imparative that a good majority of these goals should have been met.  If, however, these goals have not been met, a balance does need to be restored.  This can happen using one of two methods.  The first being activation.  In order to accomplish one's goals, one must first push themselves to work on them.  Without some sort of motivation, the chances of putting forth any effort are slim to none.  The second method comes from an outside source.  Having someone there to push you can sometimes be more benificial than pushing yourself, simply because you have no control of how hard you are pushed.  Also, in all reality, this person needs to be someone that you either look up to or in some respect/admire enough to listen to the advice that this person gives as well as the motivation he tries to instill in you.  If you choose not to listen to your "motivator", you are then hopelesly lost in your own uselessness and should give up all hope of being even remotely useful in any form of socialogical state.  I.E. SAVE EVERYONE TIME AND PLAY IN TRAFFIC! Assuming, however, that you have done at least one of the two affore mentioned methods, it doesn't end there.  More than once, if not on a continual basis, you may go through this process and more than once you have to find the drive that betters yourself.  After accomplishing a good amount of your goals, you must rediefine the objectives not met and more extensively break down and list ways in which you can accomplish these goals as well as more reasonable objectives.  Curing Cancer and alleaviating world hunger are not realistic goals unless you are someone like Bill Gates, Donald Trump, or Oprah Winfrey.  Obtaining job security, losing weight, discovering a way to create a form of spontaneaous generation(even on a molecular level..), or even taking over the world are vastly more likely to happen.

Til next time,

peace

Adam

The premise is simple, what the fuck is up with kids these days.  I know that I cannot preach too much on the subject, but I have to vent....a little bit.  Lately, I have been noticeing things about people who apparently are my friends.  People that, until recently, proved to be rather worth my time.  But here is my problem.  These people have changed.  Not their personality, but the things they do.  When I was a little younger (I'm still a kid, but for fuck's sake!) it was good enough to drink a little bit (or a lot) and pass out.  That was a good night.  Apparently that just isn't enough anymore.  People are takin pills, smoking some bud (can't point fingers, I've done it (not proudly) but still...not good), crushing up pills and snorting the powder, and from there, delving into worse drugs: meth,coke,speed,acid,etc... There are some people that have devoted their lives to this stuff, but when I see 16 - 18 year olds doing this shit and knowing that I, at one point, had befriended these people, sends a chill down my spine. Especially knowing that one of the closest has been hiding her substance abuse from me for going on a month or 2 now.

Hmm...isn't there something wrong with this picture?  At least tell me what you are doing so that I know you are alright.  Last thing I want is waking up to a phone call from a friend's loved one asking me where this child is, only to find out that they were without me doing something I didn't know about, and dieing because of it.  So yea....if you are reading this and you know that I'm talking about you, we need to talk, otherwise do me a favor.  Drink a beer if you feal the need to get fucked up....seriously.

How often have you been driving, in town or on the highway, only to notice a few things about the person driving ahead?  Negligence of the speed limit(over or under), erratic driving patterns, or even what seems to be a confused or bewildered driver are just some of the things you may notice if you are behind an elderly driver.  Due to the threat that the elderly drivers pose, there should be laws prohibiting their driving, or even requiring accelerated driving and/or vision tests for their license renewal.  Also, there are steps that can be taken to insure safety for the elderly drivers.

                Firstly, elderly drivers are dangerous.  They are a danger to themselves and they are a danger others.  In 1988, an elderly driver of 84 ran over the 3-year-old son of Katherine Freund.  He thought he had run over a dog.  He kept driving.  The boy recovered but suffered minor brain damage.  In 2003, an elderly gentleman of the age 87 ran over and killed 10 people in an open market.  He thought he was pressing the break, when in fact he had his gas pedal to the floor.  Statistically speaking, between 1989 and 1999, fatalities over the age of 70 increased 39% while overall fatalities dropped 9%.  Meaning, drivers of all other age groups are becoming safer drivers whereas the elderly are becoming more and more dangerous to the public and themselves.

                There are plenty of reasons for elderly to not drive, most of which being medical.  Medical conditions that my impair vision or attention, such as dementia, stroke, and cardiovascular disease, and drugs that affect central nervous system add the existing risks that elderly drivers impose. According to the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, in 2000, there were 34,000 elderly with dementia driving.  It is estimated for that number to jump to 100,000 by the year 2028.  Also, Accidents among drivers over 65 triple that of adults ages 36-65.  This just furthers the need for some sort of restrictions, revocations, or some sort of law to aid in the weeding of safe, mentally able, elderly drivers from the not-so-good ones.

                Lastly, there are already states taking measures to make the roads a safer place.  Renewal-by-mail is not an option for drivers over 70 in Arizona, California, Illinois, Louisiana and New Hampshire. Fifteen states -- Arizona, Colorado, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Missouri, Montana, New Mexico, Rhode Island and South Carolina -- require accelerated license renewal for older drivers. Illinois, for example, requires drivers ages 81 to 86 to renew their license every two years instead of the usual four, and drivers over 87 must renew annually.  However, Most state restrictions on older drivers focus on license renewal, not road rules. Only Illinois and New Hampshire require a road test for applicants over age 75.  Why not every state use these states as precedent to pass laws accordingly?

                Not only do elderly drivers pose a danger to themselves when they get behind the wheel of a vehicle, but also to those that are on the road with them.  With the given information, it is hard to still believe that elderly should be allowed to drive without an accelerated drivers license renewal or revocation.  If you dont want them to drive, it is easy to alleviate the problem. You can break the car.  When they need to go somewhere, immediately offer a quicker solution.  When they inquire about the time the car will be fixed, say soon, they will be content and forget about it 4 minutes later.  When they are looking for the lost keys, offer a quick alternative for their transportation, theyll soon forget they lost their keys.  The most reasonable of all solution though, would be public transit.  Public transportation is not only less costly, but safer for the elderly as well as the drivers on the road.  Before acting, I would like you to think on this.  Even though elderly drivers may limit their time behind the wheel, they have the highest crash rate per number of miles driven, according to psychology today magazine.

Before reading further, I ask one thing.  Keep an open mind.  This goes not only to those that disbelieve in the bible, but also those that do believe in it. 

The given information, which will be rather contraversial to the nonbelievers, is this.  God created Adam in his own image, as Eve was created in Adam's image as his companion and life partner.  That's all.  Now, in order to populate the earth, they had to procreate.  Then their children had to procreate.  Then their children, and their childrean, and their children and so on and so forth in that fashion.

After so many batches of these incest children, birth defects begin to occur.  The birth defects vary, having no ryhme or reason why.  Some of these were considered horridly deformed(and thusly shunned from society), but others were thought to be an improvement and more attractive than the previous version.  That is where natural selection takes over.  Those that were more fit to live, survived to pass on their genes, while the others weren't as fortunate.  Also, the ones that were thought to be more attractive and more likely to survive were the ones more likely to mate and pass on their genes, as well as their defects, to their infants.  This is the basic principle behind sexual selection.  The more fit are the ones most likely to pass on their genes.  Again, after more generations of inbreeding, more defects and whatnot begin to spring up and are eithe rejected or passed on.  This goes on throughout time and we are the most recent biproduct of this selection process.
Given this, who is to say that Adam and Even wouldn't be cast out of today's society.  Reguardless of them being the first "humans", they would barely, if at all, resemble the humans as we know them today.  For all we know, they could be the single cell amaeba that is said to have spawned humanity.  And I leave you with that thought to dwell on and think about as you go about your life on this planet.

                                                 Jeder Hagelth Hitler!
 Contrary to popular belief, Adolf Hitler was not an entirely bad person.  Some of the ideas he was credited with were mildly excentric, true, but not all were entirely unsubstantiated.  Most, in fact, weren't even his ideas, but those of the German people or of another time.  Realistically, Hitler could possibly have beent he best thing to happen to Germany.  The reasoning is thus: he did not do anything that had not been done before him, all attacks from Germany(at the time) were aggravated assaults, and(due to propaganda) Americans couldn't possibly get a real view of how Hitler was.
 First, Hitler comitted all actos of "war" under the pretense of expansion and purging the society of what he saw as a problem.  Does this sound even remotely familiar?  In the late 1700's-early 1800's, America started what was known as the Indian Removal Act.  This Act was created to purge America of its Indian inhabitance.  In 1800, Thomas Jefferson became president, and as such committed federal government to the future removal of Indians.  In 1812, future president Andrew Jackson was engaged  in a battle with Indians at Fort Mims, whereas they burned down a Creek village, killing men, women, and children.  Jackson then established the tactical rewards of plunder.  When others would mutiny against him he would sentence them to death by firing squad.  One such documented case included a 17-year-old boy who refused to clean up his food and proceeded to threaten an officer with a gun.  Jackson sentenced him to death, then walked out of earshot of the firing squad.  Not unlike Jackson, Hitler also sentence mutineers to death by firing squad or by forcing them to become inhabitance of concentration camps.
 But this isn't the first instance of "expansion" and "purging" by this country, or its discoverer for that matter.  The discoverer of this country, Christopher Columbus, did much of the same things as Hitler in or for the name of "progress".  When Columbus landed on North America in 1492, he was noted to comment that the natives were well built, ignorant of firearms, and that "They would make fine servants."  From there he took some of the natives (by force) aboard his ship to find out information.  They pointed him in the direction to find gold and there he went.  He arrived in Hispaniola(today's Cuba) and was presented with a mask of gold.  He then used pieces from the Santa Maria to construct a fort.  Then, he took more indians, by force, aboard his 2 remaining ships.  At one part of the island he got into a fight with some Indians who refused to trade as many bows and arrows as he and his men wanted.  Two Indians were run through and bled to death.  Columbus then set sail to the motherland; but soon it became cold, the Indian prisoners began to die.  These were just a few of his acts of perversion against the Native Americans.  On his second trip, he aimed to return with slaves and gold.  He found no gold, but plenty of slaves to send back.  He sent 500, but 200 died en route.  On his thrid trip, he enlisted every Indian 14 years old and up.  He had them gather gold and give it to him every 3 months.  In return, he gave them a copper token to hang around their neck.  If they were caught without this token, their hands would be cut off ad they would bleed to death shortly after.  When no gold was left, they shipped all the slaves possible to Spain.  By 1515, there were fifty thousand; in 1550, five hundred.  By 1650, none of the original decendants of the Arawaks were left on the island.  But, for Columbus, he is celebrated annually.  And for Hitler, we mourn the Jews.  For every action there is an equal or greater reaction.  For Hiter, it was his inevitable defeat in WWII, for Columbus, celebration.
 On the other hand, Hitler was a pivotal part of Germany's history.  At the conclusion of the First World War, Germany was sent into a state of depression.  Their land was destroyed, they had no money to repair it, and they were forced to pay all the reprimands due to pay off the war debt.  "The Allied Associated Governments recognized that the Resources of Germany are not adequate, after taking into account permanent diminutions of such resources which will result from other provisions of the present Treaty, to make complete reparation for all such loss and damage." - Treaty of Versailles, article 232.  Since Germany obviously couldn't pay off the war debt, France decided to take the matter into its own hand and in 1923 they attacked and took many German cities for their own.  This was a flagrant breach of international law and was protested against by every section of British political opinion at that time.  So of course, this outraged the German people and they banded together to rebel against France.  They were united in a common goal to get their land back and pull themselves out of their current depression and become a world power yet again.  This was the accomplishments of Hitler.
 Lastly, Americans had no real way of getting the full extent of the happenings in other countries, let alone one that is across an etire ocean.  Remember the gossip game?  The way the game goes is getting a certain amount of children/adults to stand/sit in a row.  The first one thinks of a phrase and whispers it into the next person's ear.  That person then does the same to the next person.  The people continue doing that down the line and when it finally gets to the last person, they have a completely altered version of what the phrase started out as.  The same is true for when American citizens try to get information about current events happening across the ocean or in another country.  The facts get changed, sometimes on purpose, but on accident in some instances.  The times when it happens on purpose is known as propaganda.  Propaganda is usually used to persuade certain people that a cause is just or to persuade against a certain cause.  Not only are they altered based on one person's opinion, but also they sometimes become changed due to the translation.  If something is written German and is then translated into English, it takes on a whole different meaning.  This is known as facts being "lost in translation".
 In conclusion, it is obvious (given the afore mentioned information) that Hitler was clearly misunderstood.  Not only was he comparable to many of our historical figures (including one of the founding fathers), but also much of what he did could have been fabricated due to a gap in the language barrier.  Hitler was not as bad as many uninformed or bias people believe.  Hopefully, due to this essay, there is a clarification that have been made.  Due to aggravated assaults, defamation of character, misinformation by the media, or lack there of, Hitler was made out to be a cynical madman that felt no mercy.

                                                   How to Fabricate an Essay
 Yet another essay assigned by a belligerent, egotistical, self-serving, mono-authoritarian teacher.  Has this ever happened personally or to a loved one?  If it has, there is one sure-fire way to get through this terrible essay, fabricate(make up) the essay.  Fabricating an essay is easier than most people believe.  Simply string unusually large words together, use realistic statistics, and sound knowledgeable about the subject.
 The first essential part of fabricating an essay is to comfortably and yet nonchalantly put in rather bulbous and large words or phrases.  This has multiple applications for an essay.  It gives the reader a sense that the author knows about what he or she is conversing.  It is also an excellent way to expand the writer's vocabulary, as well as those who decide to glance through the essay.  So when it comes to using big words, the thesaurus is your friend.  This also makes the teacher/reader think subconsciously that the author has done a substantial amount of research and put forth a great amount of effor, when in fact it is all fabricated.
 The next important part of fabricating an essay is to use realistic and believeable statistics.  This is the part of the essay that is the most imperative.  Studies at Lindenwood University by the noted Sociologist, Dr. Leinwig, have shown that 78% of all statistics in essays are made up.  Even if the statistic is completely falsified, there is always a way to make it sound believable.  Not only does this give the essay substance, but also within a day or so, a large variety of poeple will be heard useing the figment statistic in conversations with their friends.
 Lastly, but not leastly, definitely sound as though there is much thought and knowledge behind the facts pertaining to the topic of the essay.  "If the facts are believable, then the essay will also be believable." - Dr. Leinwig.  Another way of making it sound knowledgeable is by putting randomly assorted quotes into the essay.  This not only gives the subject a more realistic approach, but it make it also seem as if the author is not the one stating the fact, but instead got it from someone who is recognized a specialist of subject.  Such as, when a student is told somethin in an interview or finds a quote during his or her research, he or she can incorporate that quote into essay, having absolutely no prior knowledge about the contents of the previously mentioned quote.
 In conclusion, the research behind an essay is not as essential as what is done with that research.  If, for example, no research is done and yet the essay contains everything that is needed for that essay, the teacher/reader will not know the difference.  The points that are most important in an essay are to use unusually large words, mention believeable statistics, and sound knowledgeable about the subject.  On a closing note, this entire essay was but a fabrication.

   The Beast

 By: Adam Dickey