.
I TOO MUCH TIME IN MY HANDS

> >>>> DORMITORY:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> DIRTY ROOM
> >>>>
> >>>> PRESBYTERIAN:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> BEST IN PRAYER
> >>>>
> >>>> ASTRONOMER:
> >>>> Whe n you rear range the letters:
> >>>> MOON STARER
> >>>>
> >>>> DESPERATION:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> A ROPE ENDS IT
> >>>>
> >>>> THE EYES !
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> THEY SEE
> >>>>
> >>>> GEORGE BUSH:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> HE BUGS GORE
> >>>>
> >>>> THE MORSE CODE:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> HERE COME DOTS
> >>>>
> >>>> SLOT MACHINES:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> CASH LOST IN ME
> >>>>
> >>>> ANIMOSITY:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> IS NO AMITY
> >>>>
> >>>> ELECTION RESULTS:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
> >>>>
> >>>> SNOOZE ALARMS:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
> >>>>
> >>>> A DECIMAL POINT:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> IM A DOT IN PLACE
> >>>>
> >>>> THE EARTHQUAKES:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> THAT QUEER SHAKE
> >>>>
> >>>> ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> TWELVE PLUS ONE
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
> >>>>
> >>>> MOTHER-IN-LAW:
> >>>> When you rearrange the letters:
> >>>> WOMAN HITLER
> >>>>
 
> >>>>
> >>>> Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!
> >>>> DON'T FORGET TO SHARE IT

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him..

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.....

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to bog, practice in mirror..

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar..

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Bar suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth....

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.....

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves....

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar......

You are the only one who can make me happy. When I'm mad or depressed, you are the only one who can put a smile on my face so quickly. The way you kiss me, hold me, tell me you missed me. It makes my life so much brighter. You are the only one who truly makes me feel beautiful.

When you tell me I'm beautiful I completely forget all those past insults about being ugly. I, for once, actually feel beautiful. You're strange in that way (a good way). You have always been the only one who can actually make me feel important, special. I know you care about what I have to say, and even if it's stupid, you'll still listen. The way you say "I love you", how you say those three words alone, make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 

 I really do appreciate all the things, even the little ones, you do for me. For all those times you'd put up with me even at my worst moments, I really am grateful. I love how we can always work through our problems, no matter how long it takes. Even the way you act, talk, laugh, smile, and even breathe. It all sends shivers down my spine. I heard somewhere that a heart truly in love never loses hope, but always believes in the promise of love. And I do truly believe we will last forever. I love you and everything about you.