Okay so this morning i was driving to school.
You know that stoplight on the corner by the school and everyone's always in that turn lane waiting in line? So I was waiting in line and the light turned green. So I shifted into first, and i ended up releasing the clutch a little too fast so it died. So i turned the key to start it again and NOTHING HAPPENED. I had no power at all. my lights were off and so was my radio and everything. So I got out of the car and all of the cars behind me were just sitting there and they were too dumb to go around me. So I tried to wave them around me but they were still too dumb. Anyways. I opened up the hood and wiggled the terminals on the battery and the lights turned back on. So finally people were starting to go around me when i got back into the car. by then the light was red. Anyways. Embarrassing. and sorry to all the kids who had to wait for me to fix it, but it was really YOUR fault for not going around me.

Just to keep everyone updated for those who care.

The last time I saw Erik, my mom and I were running some errands in town the day before i left for Florida. We drove by his house and my mom asked me if I wanted to go see him. I came so close to saying no. I'd see him again. I was tired. I wanted to go home. But for some reason I ended up saying yes. He was in his hospital bed that they took home. He couldn't walk anymore. I played with Noah for almost the whole time.

This is the hardest time of my whole life so far. As you may know I went to Florida on vacation last week... mostly the reason I wasn't at school. On Wednesday I got the news that my cousin Erik died from cancer that morning at 11:55 with his family surrounding him, just awake enough to feel one last kiss from his son before he died. He was only 32 years old. I heard right before we left for Downtown Disney. I cried on the way quietly. No one noticed. On Thursday I got a flight home early to be with my family and to attend the funeral. The whole thing was just a story to me. Not real.

When I got back to Minneapolis we went to my grandma's house. my whole family was there, except for Erik of course. I walked in the door and Erik's two and a half year old son Noah was excited to see me. He grabbed my hand and walked me to my grandparents' bedroom because that's his favorite place to play because he likes to fall off of things if i catch him. And he likes it when i throw him on the bed. It broke my heart. He thought it was just another party. He didn't even know that he wouldn't see his father for the rest of his life. I walked him back out to the living room and sat down on the floor. It just killed his wife Jacque that Noah was asking to see his daddy. Our whole family along with some of Erik's best friends were there. So was my pastor. Everyone was just taking turns telling stories and crying. We arranged the funeral.

It still hadn't hit me completely yet. Friday night was the wake. There were a lot of people there. Erik was loved by a lot of people. Noah was waiting for me to show up. I played with him for a little bit. We looked at the pictures. There was a picture of my cousin Nikki and I sitting on his lap. Erik was always the guy who played with my cousins Lindsey and Nikki and me. At my grandma's I remember when he would let us pull on his fingers until his knuckles cracked. We couldn't believe that it didn't hurt him. He would also pretend to be a monster and we'd have to run away. If he caught us he'd tickle us.

My mom and I went to see him in his casket. He looked so frail and skinny from the cancer compared to all of those pictures. There was a line to see him so I didn't get a chance to look at him very much. I sat down on a couch and just thought for a long time. I talked to whoever sat down with me. It was starting to sink in. One of the closest people i ever had. A member of my family was gone.

I decided to go into the room where they had sandwiches and soda and stuff for us to drink. I sat there for a long time. My cousin Nikki came from a basketball game. She took it really hard. Every time i saw her that night she was crying. I felt bad for her. I was going to go talk to her when i saw our grandpa standing in front of the casket looking at Erik alone. I felt a strong push to go talk to him and look at Erik. I don't even really remember what we talked about. Then Pastor Bill showed up on my left side and all three of us talked about what a great guy he was. I looked at the flowers people had brought him. There were ribbons that said "Grandson", "Nephew", "Son", and a big bouquet of flowers on top of his casket that said "Husband". The one that really got to me was the small bunch of roses next to his head that said "Daddy". I turned away from the casket and sat down in the front row and wept uncontrollably. I felt someone's arms around me. I didn't know who it was at the time and I didn't care. I just cried. I missed my cousin. I wanted him to get out of the casket and have everything be fine again. It turned out to be my aunt Ruthie. Before I knew it i had my grandma and my mom and two of my aunts all surrounding me. Its time like that where you really realize how much your family cares about you. I never wanted to leave. I stayed much later than the wake was supposed to "end". Eventually I controlled my crying.

The next day was the funeral at Buffalo Covenant. I drove to there early to get the band set up. After it was set up we all stood outside the sanctuary and visited. It was weird to talk to people. I wanted to be alone. They were closing the casket soon so my mom and I went to see him one more time. When the funeral started our whole family walked into the sanctuary together. we all sat in the front. There was the opening part of the service and they played the song "Praise You In The Storm." We went up to play two songs by Third Day, "My Hope is You" and "Your Love Oh Lord". We chose those songs because Erik loved to worship and sing at church. Then I had a scripture reading. I read John 14:1-6:

 1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going."

 5Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

 6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.


Erik's brother Seth gave a tribute to him. He talked about how Erik was the kind of big brother that always had his back, even when he didn't know it. His dad said the one word to describe Erik was perseverance. He never gave up his fight with cancer until the day he died. I know so many people... including myself... that would have given up such a long time ago.

I don't know why I took the time to write this. When I started I wasn't even sure if I would show anyone. Right now this is mostly just for me.
 
Pastor Bill said that Erik always said that he didn't want to die. But it wasn't because of fear. He was not afraid of dying. He didn't want to leave us. He wanted to see Noah grow up. He wanted to teach him how to be a man. We prayed that Erik would get better and be free from his sickness. Now our prayers are answered. All is well for Erik in heaven.

Q1/Q2:

Block 1:PE 9-Sorenson, S. T-Th-F
             Freshman Band-Rabehl, S. M-W-F

Block 2: Arts Foundation 1-Tracy, S.

Block 3: Geometry - Backes, J.

Block 4: Spanish 1 -Boeckers, D.

Q3/Q4:

Block 1: PE 9-Sorenson, S. T-Th-F
             Freshman Band-Rabehl, S. M-W-F

Block 2: Arts American Experience-Rettmann, B.

Block 3: Arts Science-Cox, E

Block 4: Enriched English 9- Jacobson, J.

now WHY in the world would i post a new blog? i NEVER post blogs. seriously. Stop bugging me about it.