I planted a small garden this year......the peppers are exploding....the cosmos and the zinnias look like something from a psychedelic planet.....the figs were sexy and shaped like men's family jewels.....our liliputian apple tree has produced a few early Summereds that taste like apple custard pudding.....really!

I've been working hard at find the coolest vintage ever.....and almost have a real website. I love it all.....the buzz of the hunt, the color, the texture, the memories....and the editing process......we've been taking pics of each other......to get that arty funkoma look ...... and it's getting close to what I want now........

Mark and I sat in court a few times recently, and we heard lawyers talk about what incriminating posts they have found on Myspace! Yes, what you post here can and probably will end up in the court record.....judges and the public sitting in the chairs waiting their turn, will hear all about your sexual exploits and all your alcoholic binges and bragging......

WEll Hells BeLLes.........Mark and I went to the new bar here in TTown...Syrens.....sirens......yooiks......So Seriously Underwhelmed.....wtf! lots of $$ and flashy lites do not do it baby........I liked Pandemonica.....kinda put on, but also down home.....love sitting on that back deck........OK back to Satty night at the Sirens place.....bouncers out front know a star when they see one.....even if they have no clue who the flock Hunter S. Thompson is.............................Since I've been Hunter S. Thompson for the last week or 2, they were real surprised to see it was me, Tressie ......well, you know, maybe they can cross the street on Monday and uh, check out a book or even a DVD and then they would know what the flock I was talking 'bout..............so.............walked in, walked thru. sauntered....to the back deck and passed Teddy.....I liked it better when Teddy was OURS sitting at the end of the bar at Bobs Java Jive....drawing pics of the locals.....Ann has hers on her friggy...............passed Teddy and turned around and walked upstairs...... spent a lot at IKEA.... and sat for 3 minutes and walked back down the stairs and well..........left............the night air is so warm but that place left me cold. Frat Boy Central.........can you smell the testosterone?***********ok,. that might sound a bit mean*****disclaimer...it's just one little gal's opinion.....I'm sure it will get better as time goes on.....and good grief, it's not like I'm trying to  sell advertising for the Volcano.

I don't agree with this obsession with rewarding children with a ceremony or a big certificate of accomplishment everytime they take a poop...sadly, this is how stupid parents and teachers are pretending to be "paying attention".

All competant peer-reviewed research, and COMMON sense, which isn't so common anymore, shows that when a child is offered too much praise it deflates their sense of self-worth.....it does not build self-esteem......What builds self-esteem is sticking to a hard project until it is done and then being happy to have done so.
When an adult says dumb-ass things like this to a child..."That picture is so good, what an artist you are!"...."Hooray you turned in your homework"...."Thanks for being good in the grocery store --you deserve a candy bar"...the child knows something funny is going on.....they know you are kissing their ass and bribing them to do simple things.....What next? An award for breathing?

A proper response to a child who draws a nice picture is a simple " I like that" "Do you like drawing?" ......When a child turns in their homework a simple "Thanks" is sufficient......a child is supposed to be taught how to behave...HELLO! it is not an occasion for an award.....the act of controlling one's emotions is reward enough........"You were well-behaved today" is enough already.

What are you doing when you engage in phony compliments? You are telling your child that you are a liar, and can be bribed by a performance that was momentarily produced to get "something tangible" for everyday activities. Not everything your child does is Oscar worthy, and if you are caught in a cycle of beg, reward, beg, reward you have raised a brat. Or a capitalist who can't be motivated to do anything unless a reward is attached.

Wanna build good self-esteem? Don't pile too much on your child, take a lot of time with them, plan well and leave time for sleep and dawdling.......that's what children do........goof off, daydream, move slow and sleep.....and they need a lot more sleep than what they are getting.....Outbursts after the age of 2 is a sign........either you aren't parenting well according to the child's needs, or your child has a problem that needs professional help.

Now what brought this on?  I went to Mark's son John's "graduation" from 5th grade!!!!!!!!
What ? Yes! I thought it was gonna be a little 1/2 hour ceremony ---- line up, job well done, you learned a lot and worked hard, and here's a piece of paper......good luck in middle school, you're gonna need it! But NO.

First as we walk in the door of the lunchroom, we are given a program. A program? What is this? College? The Academy Awards? Big awards ceremonies are for adults...... but today, we force our children out of their childhood as soon as it starts........

I knew then this was gonna be a farce...another misguided attempt to motivate children of low-socieconomic strata.......please don't give them what they need.....jobs for their parents that pay a family wage, so the family can relax and have plenty of time to spend with the children.....adequate medical care, and nutritious food that fills the soul as well as the body. Quality housing, excellent public transportation, social services to help with drug addiction and mental illness. Supression of crime in low-income neighborhoods.

American society today is so focused on immediate gratification, phony awards and over-inflated statements of gratitude  .........and these poor children were taught, by their parents, teachers, counselors, principal....that they are working for a party, a thing to hang on the wall, and  not for the love of learning.

The Decor, yes there was a  theme! was Aloha.......I know there was not one person in the whole auditorium that understood that the destruction of an ancient indigenous society and commercialization of the "cute parts" was wholesale soul-murdering......I guess that part of world history wasn't taught at that school.....The black, asian, mexican, samoan, immigrant children were expected to participate in and agree with the assimilation of their culture and cultural values to be cherry-picked for the circus-like amusement of the dominant white capitalist culture.
In Hawaii, from 1893 when American military and  business interests overthrew the monarchy, and until the  American Marines in 1895 imprisoned Queen Lili'oukalani  in her palace and illegally seized a sovereign nation so that American corporations-- Dole Sugar among them, could have control of Hawaii when President McKinley signed the annexation order.
 
Mmmm, does this story of American military working for the best interests of American corporations seem familiar? How about murdering native people on this continent to expand American business.....manifest destiny anyone?

I have more details galore on this "graduation ceremony" but I'll leave that till later.
Forcing these children to endure 2 hours of singling out the "favorites" and "high-achievers" and leaving out 90% children with no recognition for their hard efforts.....was sickening. Most of the children in Lakewood where John's mother chooses to live and send John to horrific inferior schools, have frightening lives.....that to even to get to school (and I don't support public schools in their current incarnation, but that's another discussion) is a credit to these children souls. They have to stumble over mom's meth-head boyfriend (probably her 4th this year alone) and get themselves to school, and eat breakfast in filthy clothes, no bath for a week or more......these are children I work with......so I know their real lives ..........

But in the Clover Park district and all over America......low-income children are given pizza parties and Coke and trinkets as a reward for showing up and working hard........and does that sound familiar? Wanna buy Manhattan anyone?

What these children need is a holistic approach to their lives and education. Why are parents not inside the classroom more? Why isn't civic ownership of the school system emphasized in this culture? Why is there a divide between home and school? Why aren't the social service agencies inside the schools? Why do schools serve garbage for food? We have known for more than 30 years that soda pop, and fatty processed foods are bad, so why do we still serve children corndogs for lunch?

Schools were formed to educate the whole person.......and schools are educating.....but the message is  to shut up, applaud the pretty leaders, and please don't ask questions.......shuffle along to your dead-end job......it's all you deserve......and here's your Atta-Boy Award !!!!!

Mark sold his car.....again......so we're down to my car.....again......Mark likes to change cars all the time .....he gets bored.....thank heavens he doesn't think that way about wives.....SO... I have been driving him to work and picking him up. Thurs.nite 6-1, he sold a car and stayed late at Gilchrist and said he'd walk up to the Catbox and I could pick him up.....
Fine....I made a lovely dinner.....homemade chicken noodles, homemade biscuits, and mmmm, broccoli.....
so he calls about 9:30 and since I was freshly showered, new makeup, clean clothes (turquoise painted nails) , my favorite red mules, it all matched my black shirt with red cherries and turquoise blossoms..........
OK.......cruising sloooooowly down South Tacoma way, since everyother cop in T-Town (I started calling Tacoma that 20 years ago because I give nick names to almost everything, but not in the phony Geo. Bush-way) was looking for beautiful losers.........
SO.............I find a place to park right in front of Joans Doll Shoppe ( I love that place....so creepy in a candy peppermint kinda way)
I take forever to straighten the car *(no power steering, but it's the only exercise I get some days.....) .......................
I felt so happy and I was feeling so fine, and walking across the street on a warm almost-summer night, with the flashing traffic lights, the sprinkling of a light rain that just moistened, the black puddles in the rutted street.....it is all so South Tacoma.
I see some drunken losers in the Beer/Smoke 'Em If Ya Got 'Em Corral, and I walk in and all eyes turned to me.....Feast your eyes buddy......and I see Mark at the bar ! What a cutie... it reaffirmed why I love him so much....he looks great on a bar stool...so pretty... and so sweet....holding on to his 2nd PBR..........It WaS 50 cent PBR nite !!!!!!! Mark had died and gone to Beer Heaven......
I looked around the joint, typical South Tacoma crowd, hairy guys, funky oversize T shirts, fry-cook tennis shoes......but the band was warming up just as the 3rd PBR was delivered by the pretty Josh ? right bartender......Perfect Beer.......cold glass......cold beer .......perfect for the muggy night.......it doesn't get much better......... a real bar, not too poseur, real Tacoma people and cold beer.
I forgot how much I love sitting in a bar, drinking with live music.....I've been working my ass off in the last 6 weeks......................mmm.....the feel of freshly washed hair on my arms, just barely dry.... my favorite 60s leopard Vanity Fair bra......my husband telling me stories of his workday, & his many past trips to the bar with Murph, (used to be a biker bar) and we were just reveling in the Tacoma-ness................helped him drink half his beer but since it was cop-central on STW I showed great restraint........
*****Somedays it is all so good, that when I'm laying in the bed of my last days, I'll think back to this short sweet sparkly moment.....it wasn't planned, it was all come as come goes.......and it made me happy again, to live in Tacoma.*****