good news:  i'm finally working.  i just wrapped my first week as a legal assistant for a boutique firm specializing in workman's comp defense.  so far, so good -- they like me, i like them, and the work's not killing me . . . yet.  here's hoping it continues in the same vein :)

lately, i've been very reflective, pondering the making and keeping of friendships.  having just moved (again), i find myself in the position of the new girl (again) and trying to figure our how much i want to put myself 'out there' in terms of working on making new, local friends.  *sigh*  let's just say i've been feeling lazy...  and looking back on certain relationships that have lapsed (or blown up), i find myself wishing i could be in a "Over You" (song by Daughtry) mood, but stuck in a "Who Knew?" (song by Pink) state of mind.

it's like i'm on a see-saw -- i can see so many ways that my life is good and getting better, and that makes me happy . . . but that happiness is tempered when i look back at mistakes and sacrifices that have gotten me where i am.  perhaps i should take a lesson from Lot's wife, no?

just an fyi for anyone who's been following my blog... i'm done with law school for the time being.  to be close to my family at this juncture, i'm going to officially become a North Carolinian -- Lael found us a great place to live and  the job search has commenced -- wish me luck.

I've had several recent conversations with some family members and friends about forgiveness -- a very tough subject. Over the years, I've found myself on both sides of the issue -- needing to be forgiven and needing to forgive. I definitely think the latter is the harder place to be because forgiving someone is not just a one time act, it's a choice that you must make over and over again. It is no wonder that God is the ultimate lover and forgiver, because only a perfect being doesn't struggle to live them out...

My sister sent me the following video, and WOW! This took the words right outta my mouth...

I'm Not Who I Was By Brandon Heath



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"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Mahatma Ghandi

1.Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not okay. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning their actions. What you are after is finding peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that comes from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."
4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes—or 10 years—ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
5. At the moment you feel upset, practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's flight or fight response.
6. Give up expecting things from other people—or your life—that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt, seek out new ways to get what you want.
8.Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.

R.I.P., Veronica     i hope the CW, and their freaking Pussycat Dolls and Famers Wives, go down in network flames!!! 

my final final of the semester is in 7 hours.  i guess i'm as ready as i'm gonna be.  on the one hand, i'm thankful that this semester is almost over -- it's been long, and probably the hardest yet.  on the other hand, it's kind of sad and scary . . . is this the last law school final i'm gonna take?  it's in God's hands now.

my best friends at the moment: 
  and 

i have Property Law coming out my ears.  as long as it makes it onto my exam paper tomorrow, that's okay with me.  *sigh*

i really am trying to stay upbeat and positive right now.  really.  i'm focusing on the fact that i am more-than-capable of successfully getting through finals, on the many blessings that i've been given, and on the fact that, no matter what happens, my family and friends love me and i will survive.  but then i look at my books and study aids and i just wanna cry.  *sigh* two more weeks and this year will be over and done with... two more weeks.

http://similarminds.com/personality_tests.html

i got the following quiz there... it's got many other interesting and fun things with which to waste your time :D

well, my surgery was monday morning.  for those who may have missed earlier bulletin postings, i had to have my gall bladder removed.  fun fun fun!  the hospital didn't keep me over night--i've been back at my apartment since about 7pm on monday.  i'm still very very sore--the surgeon couldn't do the operation completely lapriscopically, so where he made an incision, my stomach muscles are very weak and sore.  but i am able to move around, albeit at a turtle's pace.  my current goal is to return to class on Friday.  wish me luck...

i feel like the past two weeks have been non-stop drama, but hopefully this week post-surgery represents the beginning of my healing, both physically and psychologically.  i have a long road ahead of me, but i know i can make it.  thanks to all my family and friends for your unwavering support and love.

my life at the moment: