I found myself alone in the studio with a bottle of ancient age whiskey... no where to go... not a friend in the world... all my family gone away... and for the first time in my life i couldnt make a sound... I had no music... couldnt rap... couldnt sing... I think thass it... I think i dont wanna do this shit no more...

honestly i just feel like if i wasnt doin music and had some punk-ass day job (that'd only pay the bills and never give me any sense of satisfaction or a feeling of success), I would have never lost my daughter...

all i have left in this fucked up world is my music and i cant make a sound anymore... u have no idea what that feels like...

I'm just so so sooo tired... i think it's time for me to lay down and sleep for a while... a long while... i got a lot of healing to do... mental, emotional and phisical... yall enjoy your lives... talk to you later

So everybody's checkin out the last blog but let me tell you how that whole week went (last week) ... 

(quick summary cause i aint got alotta time to be on this computer...)

basically the judge aint wanna see none of my evidence or hear shit i had to say about anything...

So i lost my daughter in a matter of hours... Now I only get to see her 4 days a month (when i can afford the plane tickets)

She's moving with her mother in Ohio... In order for me to get the address of my daughters daycare or my BM and her new "fiance" (the nigga she cheated on me and left us for)... i gotta go through a few months of anger management class... (because she took out 3 FALSE police reports on me I knew nothing about)... I've NEVER hit my BM... but i guess she said what she had to to get my daughter

it's all bad... dont really got much else to live for... so pray for me... I wont do it anymore... I really dont think God hearin me these days...

yall be good...

She lied to me and said she broke up wit Joe and moved back to california... tryna be a good father i let her have my daughter for the weekend to take her to the zoo... i come back to pick her up and a court server is waiting for me telling me he cant tell me where my daughter is... he just handed me a stack of papers and told me to read em... the papers basically said that she's takin me to court and i stole the baby from her... BULLSHIT!!! when i handed the baby to her Kayla Kicked and screamed because she didnt know her...

everybody knows that i been raisin that baby on my own since her birth... i tried to hit her with some child support papers and she hit me with this shit... now i cant see my daughter until the court date... she wrote up this big ass statement about me that was all a lie... she even had the audacity to say when she lived out here she had the baby 3 days a week and didnt start dating Joseph (the dude she was cheating on me with for 7 months) until she got out there... I'm like how do u move in with somebody on ur first date... BULLSHIT!!!

 i'm tryna find a lawyer but i aint ballin like that right now... i got 12 more days... pray for me yall... I believe i got a pretty good case...

follow me on twitter... my life is crazy... read all about it hahaha

thought i would spend it wit my family... turns out my baby mom/ex-fiance is in ohio wit the dude she abandoned us for and my mother is pissed at me (once again) about some irrelevant shit so i can guarantee she aint gone wanna celebrate wit a nigga...

so i'm plannin on just spendin the day wit my daughter... maybe go to the park for a little bit... then come home and put her to sleep so i can kick back and sip my ancient age

to all the single fathers out there (and i kno it aint nearly as many of yall as it should be cause most uh u bastards got pictures of you holdin weapons n shit on yo myspace to show u hard but when u see a picture of yo child u deny it and run like a bitch hahaha)

to all the REAL single fathers out there wit out help.. they dont kno how hard it is... women got all kinda programs n shit.. i say i'm a single father and people dont even take me serious.. i get very little help... if u a single daddy and u handlin yo buisness i tip my muthafuckin hat to u homey... happy fuckin fathers day... drink and be merry... fuck everybody... its all about u and yo child

(update on my life)
thankfully i put my guns back down... (aint nobody gone be gettin shot at no time soon lol... i dont think)... sadly i picked the bottle up... but i do my best yall... my daughter is now one year old and she talkin up a storm... her little butt is gettin real dis-obedient lately so i see her first ass whoopin comin in the near future lol... but naw, i take great care of my baby and i will continue to work like a slave and suffer for her til one of us dies lol...

as far as the music... the Dark & Lyht album is bout to be done reeeeaall soon... i'll shoot yall a release date soon as i get it... I'm also workin on my solo album "Tha Venum/Elevation"... I'm doin alot more singin lately... some of the trax are on my page... I'm also producin the albums of the artists Petey Pete and the Bayssheadz (check out they pages, they on my top).. Since doin that show openin for T.I. and Souljah Boy, I've had a few trax played in the background on a couple shows on VH1 :-) (can u say ROYALTIES!!!) I've had offers to open up for other artist like Rick Ross and Trillville... (hella big name artist but sadly i dont have the budget to be flyin all over the damn country to do shows i may OR MAY NOT get paid for...) But i still got some local performances comin up so I'll tryin keep yall posted...

much love everybody who read this... yall be good and God Bless... and dont worry bout Lune... my situation is fucked up but I'm good like a woodchuck named Chuck that chuck wood at Chuck E. Cheese wit Chucky til he upchuck hahaha... i'm uh post some new trax soon so yall stay tuned in AND TELLA DAMN FRIEND... I'M TRYNA GET FAMOUS AND I CANT DO IT WITOUT YALL HELP... lol... talk to yall later

One Day, in the not to distant future.

 

Kayla will come to you, rub your bald head and say, "Thank you Daddy, I Love YOU".

 

Because on that day she will understand all of the many sacrafices that you unselfishly made for HER. 

On that day, She will know that you did it all because of your Love for her.  Just as she was - just as she is.  

And upon the enlightenment of this very fact she will become an outstanding woman.

 

Your daughter whom you have reared, nurtured and groomed.  And on that Day, "You will be Proud".

 

Mom♥