weddings: i have been to awkward weddings, tense weddings, stressful weddings, strange weddings, cheap weddings, expensive weddings and the best kind of all - the ones that make you cry - that you believe in, head to toe... mike and i went to one of these on friday night - a friend of mine from high school married a girl he fell in love with the day he met her. they've been together for 4 + years. it was magical, not just because she is absolutely the most beautiful bride i have ever seen, and the location was epically insane, but because they were both glowing and smiling and quite obviously madly in love with each other. their love for one another was contagious and gave everyone an extra sparkle in their eye and spring in their step - to amy and sonny, congratulations. we love you both.

marriage: this brings me to reflect on my own wedding, which had a very "deeply in love" vibe as well, and to the 2+ years of marriage since. it's hard. we're different people, we like different things and we have different expectations. add to that, we have good moods and bad ones. we've had fights where we've both wondered and doubted and struggled and it's felt impossible. we've learned more and more to give those moments time and space, things usually look and feel different 24 hours later. we've learned that the strengths we both have - honesty, loyalty and willingness - totally eclipse our unique weaknesses - stubborn, independent, self centered. we're learning to put one another ahead of our expectations. sometimes we actually have to plan sex and do creative and seductive things to keep it spicy and change it up, sometimes one or the other of us isn't in the mood to have sex at all... none of the lessons has come easy, and i know we will never stop learning... yet as hard as it is, with millions of compromises i never thought i would have to make, i love being married. i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world and i love my husband, for everything he was, is and will be. i also love who i am when i am with him.

oh my gosh so much going on... i am loving digital playground right now - everything is super fun - the team is amazing - and i so love our girls - the best ever!!! to add wonderfulness on top of that, i'm camping in two harbors all week with dusty.... that's paddle boarding, diving, hiking and bloody mary's for breakfast :) woot woot!!!

Damn I was checking out my profile page and I realized I have some SEXY ASS FRIENDS...

Happy Memorial Day weekend Everyone!

I love all of ya!

XO

mike woke me up at 8 to paddle - we did a couple hours, together but alone... sick fun. i am becoming one with the ocean - it's my happy spot - on it - in it - surrounded by it - there is no separation.

now we're at the tattoo parlor getting symbolic ink to celebrate carla. life is good. i'll post pics when we're finished.

love.

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Hey Everyone!
I need your help - please log on to TheFameAwards.com - TheFameAwards Dot Com...
And vote for my people, as follows:

Best Female Star: Jesse Jane

Best Director: Robby D

Best Rookie: Stoya

Best Feature Movie: Babysitters

Best Gonzo Movie: Control

and

Best Company: Digital Playground

Thank you!!!!! Vote from every email address you have......

i'll be in miami this weekend with the most amazing Jesse Jane...
saturday will be busy... come say hi at miami exxxotica or check out glass at the forge.

I don’t complain much but here goes...
Kansas just tied Memphis and they’re going into overtime.
My husband loves sports, working out, protein powder and blow jobs.
CVS MDR is out of liquid tylenol PM.
I can’t book a decent hotel along the SB coast for one night only.
I owe the IRS money.
It’s only Monday.

wine and diamonds with a new zoom.
wow.

Okay so Day 2 was a total bust... I was so sore from Day 1 that I took a breather. I wasn't sore from any actual injury but from pushing myself back up every time I fell - and on Day 1, I probably fell close to 100 times. Every time I got going too fast, I would just lean back and put my ass on the ground. My ass is blue but it's my shoulders that really feel worked...

Today, Day 3, I woke up determined. I got the board waxed, adjusted the bindings and opted to skip lessons and get some real time on the slopes. My husband stuck it out with me. I fell less than 10 times and EVERY single fall was INTENTIONAL and backwards, because I was afraid of getting out of control. Woo hoo!!! By tomorrow I will be carving up the damn mountain.

Now we're going to spend the rest of the day playing. I am so excited and tomorrow is Valentine's Day - presents RULE - especially from my husband.

Love and Stuff -