They sat in a circle around the fire. Vic was finally able to get a good look at the King. He was rather tall. He sat two heads above Seth. His fur on his back was styled in a sort of Mohawk. The hair in the middle of his head and back was longer than that of the rest of his fur. He had decorated this portion of his hard with various metal clasps all with intricate designs on them. Portions of his hair were braded and fasted with the metal clasps. His fur was a deep brown. He did not wear any armor. Instead all he wore was a pair of tight leather pants with a loin cloth. Both were intricate bead work. Vic noticed that his legs were shaped in such a way that they could leap in any direction from any position. His ears looked like that of a wolf and both were perked listening for any other signs of threat. He had very powerful looking hands and arms. His fingers had claws for nails that looked like they could rip the bark off any tree, or metal armor off even the strongest warrior. He looked very strong, his chest had tribal markings as well as his face. After getting a good, long look at the King, Vic told her story for what seemed like the hundredth time. When finished the Shelay king sat quiet for a few moments with his eyes closed trying to comprehend all he had heard. After what seemed like an eternity he took a deep breath in and started to tell his tale, his voice sounded deep, there was something animalistic in the way he spoke.

            "Me and my four men that are left were out on a scouting mission. We had heard from Zaherim that our den was going to be under siege. I thought it best if I took a small troop to scout out the danger. Zaherim has long been a friend and would sell out wares in the border town. I left Zaherim with my den and we went looking for this eminent danger. While we were gone the danger swooped upon my den like a fiery plague. We heard the shouting and ran back to fight. It was too late, a force we had never seen, a black force came and killed my people. Zaherim was defending a group of pups, he tried to save them, but the darkness swallowed them. He was next but I managed to pull him away. All we could do was run. There was nothing left to save, all my people gone into darkness. In the distance I saw two men in white robes with a red mark of some sort holding a black orb like object, there was another being with them. I couldn't really make it out, but it was not human or like any living being I've ever seen. The mark on their cloaks, I have seen that mark in cleric temples in the border city. You had reeked of their stench, so I only assumed you were left to finish what they could not." The Shelay king placed his head in his head and wept. Vic went to place a hand on his shoulder when he wrenched his head toward the heavens and let out a howl that chilled Vic to the bone. It could not be described in words, what she felt was deep sadness. The four Shelay warriors stepped out of the shadows again. This time their king did no send them back. Vic nodded to them and they joined the group near the fire. Two of the Shelay looked much like their King. Their hair on their back's wasn't as long, and their bead work or metal work wasn't as elegant. But, you could tell that they were male Shelay. The other two were female. They had on a bit more covering than their male counterparts. They wore earrings in their ears. Instead of a loin cloth they had on a sort of tunic that covered their breasts. Unlike the males, they had no long hair growing on their backs. Their hair was soft and sleek. Their features were much more delicate, but still very strong. They were still as tall as their male counter parts, and looked just as powerful. The Shelay still looked cautiously at Vic. Alaric finally spoke.

            "Your majesty, can you draw me a picture of this red mark that you saw in the dirt here?" Alaric jumped down from Seth's pocket and ran to sit beside the king. The king looked down at the furry little chipmunk in wonderment.

            "What are you little one? You are not an animal but yet, you look at one, but you smell-" Alaric cut him off.

            "Yes well, there will be time enough for that. But, can you draw me what that mark looked like?" The Shelay king seemed to understand and nodded. He took one of his massive claws and started to draw what he had seen. When he had finished Alaric just sat there and stared at what he saw.

            "Are you sure that was the mark?"

            "Are you testing me! I know what I saw, plus that mark is smeared all over the border town!"

            "Oh dear," Alaric's face betrayed himself.

            "What is it Alaric," Seth cut in.

            "That is not the sign of Toakase," Vic ventured to put her thoughts in.

            "Yes I know Vic," Alaric snapped.

            "Well then what is it?" Vic hissed back.

            "That is the mark of Ciera," Alaric said with a tremble in his voice.

            "What does that mean little one?" The king asked. Vic's face went pale.

            "Ask Vic, she could tell you better than I." Alaric still held a tremble in his voice.

            "She is the goddess of darkness. She is the one who controls the creatures of the darkness and evil," Vic tried to keep her voice calm. But did not succeed, Alaric went on.

            "That orb thing you saw was only part of her powers. That orb thing is darkness brought to life. I have heard it's a teleport strait to her black kingdome. But no one has ever returned from it. Only one form of light can stop it, and the tales told of the light breaking all of the dark orbs and overcoming it's power. But then again all the lights that could stop it were said to be broken as well-" Vic cut in

            "What light? I don't understand."

            "The Day Crystal Vic. Why do you think Terrin is sending you to recover it? And why do you think that Gelorian fears this so?" Alaric replied.

            Vic sat stunned. She understood now, but it was still hard for her to grasp.

I had a crazy thought come to me while I was sitting at the mall working with a client. As I was"people watching" I noticed that 95% of the women I saw walking around had some sort of flashy thing on, or was brightly dressed. They had their hair done up, make up on etc...this got me thinking about the animal kingdom for some reason. Don't ask me why, who knows where my mind can go on any particular day. But anyway, I thought about if there were any other species where the female was brightly colored to attract a mate. I couldn't think of any. Then I asked myself why women dress so fancy all the time, or if anything have some sort of jewelry on or some sort of flashy something. I think our species is the only one where the female tries to subdue the male. In the animal kingdom it's the male that has to work hard to gain the females attraction with bright colors and stunts. Then I looked at magazines which seem to perpetuate this idea that the female is the one that needs to look flashy to "get a man." I'm not saying I don't like dressing pretty or what not, I just found this concept interesting. I don't think women even realize what they are doing when they get dressed, or maybe they do. I just find it amazing to see that shift from the norm in the animal kingdom to what our culture has become. I suppose it's mostly to just get noticed, then the guy still needs to work hard to get a the phone number and what not. I know, the sociologist in me can be werid sometimes. It was just a thought I had and a wondering what others think of it.

It was an early morning; the sun was just starting to peak over the horizon. Vic sat against a tree and watched over her sleeping comrades. It was almost time for them to rise. They only had three days left until they reached the border town. It would be the last town they would see until their journey back from Izenshou, if they even did come back. She sighed as a light wind ruffled her loose hairs around her lightly pointed ears. She was nervous for the border town since there was a Cleric tower there. She also felt that they were being followed. She knew it would not take long for the runners to pick up their trail from Seth's town. She just hoped they would hold out until after they were clear of Brez Haven, the border town. She also prayed that no one would discover her. Seth started to stir, but did not wake. Vic smiled at him. She had learned these past days that he was really a gentle spirit. Totally loyal to his friends and loved ones, she was glad to have him on her side. She looked up at the branches of the tree, and found a pair of eyes staring back. Her mouth opened to scream and wake her friends, but a pair of hands came from behind and latched around her throat and stifled her scream. She panicked for a moment, and then remembered her daggers. She reached down and unsheathed, the hold on her neck was making her dizzy, but she managed to slit the fingers off one of his hands. The man yelled in pain, which then awoke Seth and Alaric. Seth jumped up and saw Vic scurry away from her attacker and stand her ground. The pair of eyes jumped down from the tree, Vic saw that they belonged to a half man, half wolf. The thing had the body of a man, but head of a wolf. It lunged at Vic. Seth was too far away to stop the attack. To Seth's surprise Vic expertly dogged the attack and put the beast into a hold. Seth's mouth was agape since they had not practiced holds. The man that Vic had wounded got up and ran at Seth. Seth was too busy watching Vic to realize the attack. Alaric climbed up on his shoulder and shouted a spell. A blast of flame jets shot out from Alaric's paws. It was a small fire, but enough to stop the attack and pull Seth back to what was going on. Seth took his sword and placed the blade to the man's throat. The Man wolf howled in pain and Vic tightened her hold. She was holding so tight she was almost breaking his arm. Vic spoke.

"Who the hell are you! What do you want with us!" She screamed it into the wolf man's ear. The wolf man answered in a half snarl, half human voice.

"Who are you to demand answers from the King of the Shelay?"

"Who the hell are you to attack innocent travelers? For that you should pay, especially when you attack when they are sleeping! That is a cowards way, some king you are!" Vic pulled her grip and shot a flash of pain through the Shelay's arm. He yelped from the shock. Vic's green eyes almost seemed to glow with a strange power.

Seth spoke, "And who the hell are you to be working with this thing," he demanded of the wounded man.

"Careful boy," the Shelay king spoke, "You should chose your words more carfully."

"Some threat you are puppy, and some king. You can't even finish your attack," Seth laughed.

The wolf man growled a deep throated growl. It almost made Vic's skin crawl.

"Oh just stop it! All of us! Now tell me what in the Gods is going on. Why did you attack us? We have not hurt you or your clan in anyway!"

"Liar! Your kind killed all but 4 of my kinsmen! You will pay!" The Shelay barked.

"What do you mean," There was a hint of pain in Vic's voice.

"I can smell your cleric stench from miles away! Did you think you could fool me! You and your foul kind killed them all! All, do you hear me! Women and children, burned them!" The Shelay king bowed his head and sobbed and let out a great howl. Vic released her grip upon him. Alaric and Seth both shouted in horror. Immediately when the Shelay king felt her grip fail he spun around and locked one claw and to her throat and the other held her arm in an arm bar.

"That was foolish," The Shelay king hissed, "I could kill you in an instant." Seth dropped his guard on the man and started to move tward Vic and the Shelay. The Shelay king barked at Seth, "Move any closer and I snap her neck." Seth stopped in his tracks and looked pleadingly at Vic. Vic returned his glance, but was not afraid. Seth was confused, but trusted Vic.

            The Shelay king looked down at Vic, "You willingly let me go, you had your chance to kill me and Zaherim, but you did not. You smell the stench of Cleric, but do not act like one? What are you?" The Shelay king loosened his grip on Vic's throat just enough for her to speak. She looked him dead in the eye.

            "I am a Cleric to Toakase. A true Cleric of Toakase."

The Shelay king looked deep into her eyes, his eyes became soft and he dropped his hold on Vic completely.

            "I am very confused." The Shelay king looked at Vic's companions.

            "Zaherim needs healing, I shall ask Toakase to mend his wounds if you will allow me?" Vic stood and the Shelay king nodded in confusion. She walked over to Zaherim.

            "Give me your hand." Vic commanded, and the man held out his shaky hand that was bloodied and missing three fingers. Vic closed her eyes and mumbled a prayer to Toakase for healing. The man's hand glowed a blinding green. When the light dimmed his hand was as if the attack never happened. Vic opened her eyes, and smiled. The man was dumbfounded. Seth still had his weapon drawn and was ready to attack at the slightest hint of danger. Vic turned to the Shelay king. Out of the shadows four more Shelay walked out, ready to fight with their king. Vic stood her ground. The Shelay king growled at his men, who walked back into the shadows. Vic knew they were not far off, and were ready to attack if their king commanded it.

            "So, what now," Vic demanded.

            "Now," the Shelay king paused, "Now we talk, I would hear your story and I shall tell mine. But be warned Cleric, if this is a trap, you will suffer."

"Understood, the same understanding goes to you and your men." Both the Shelay king and Vic nodded to each other. Vic extended a hand to the fire pit where they could all sit and discuss each other's stories.

I am sad right now. I am just tired of being hurt all the time. Especially by people who are supposed to support you and help you through life. I am just getting tired of things. Reflecting upon myself I realize that I am impatient about certain things. I have all these goals in life, and I feel I need to rush through everything, only to find myself burt out and hurt. I am working on why I feel I need to rush. Figuring out how to let life take it's course. I want everything to be in a neat little package, and I think that is another reason why things explode back at me. I know I deserve better, but then why do I get so sad when I think about maybe losing a friend. He has hurt me so much, and doesn't care. I ask myself why I let it happen, and why I want the friendship so bad. I deserve friends and people that love me and want to support me into greatness. Not people that hurt me, say mean things and dont go through on thier word. How have I let myself get to this point? I don't even feel like myself right now. I feel like a shell. I know it will get better once school is over. That is a huge weight that will be off my shoulders. I guess I'm just afraid that I wont accomplish all my goals. That might seem like an absurd feeling since I have accomplished a lot so far. I guess I am in a rut. I must also ask myself what makes this person worthy of having my friendship if all I have gotten from it is pain. Why am I letting one person's negative views towards me dictate my feelings. It makes no sense. I know I am a great, wonderful, beautiful, loyal person. So why am I so troubled over one person's view of me. It is maybe myself feeling it's the truth? Maybe it's just because I am sad right now that I might feel it's true. Why am I so upset about possibly losing a friend and that they dont care about losing me as a friend? Why do I feel like I am the only one REALLY trying to be a friend, but am not getting any friendship emotion returned? Sure the person is giving material stuff, but there is no friendship connection. Not that want to be around, return calls, and just they saying of hurtful things. So why am I so upset? Why? What am I not wanting to face? If this person is really not showing me emotionally that they want to be my friend and are treating me like crap then why am I so upset to lose that friendship? Maybe it's denial that this person really could be that cold and ugly on the inside. And somehow I fooled myself into thinking that they were actually wonderful, now coming to the realization that maybe I was wrong. I judged the person's character wrong. I guess the lessons I must take away from all this is to guard my heart against people until I know who they really are, slow down, and be myself. I have so many people that love me and think I am wonderful, beautiful, and actually show me they care. I have to remember that. I have to keep my patience and let things unfold for themselves.

Another Rant on relationships, take it as you will: Atrractiveness is a funny thing. Some people value that more in a person than what is in the person's soul. But what is funny for me, is that atrractivnes comes from the person's soul. I have come to a revelation. I can't be with a shallow person that only likes/loves someone for thier outside appearance, and no one should settle for that. Every person in the world has flaws, but to love someone, is to love the whole person. The flaws and the good parts. Every person has wonderful qualities, and every person has bad ones. We are all human. When you love a person, you must love and be attracted to the whole being. I find that if you always look at the bad points, you will find that person unattractive. I can't let myself be caught up on if someone is going to cheat on me, I need to know they are on fire for me, god, and the relationship. I can't settle for being only second best. In relationships, both people have to be on fire for eachother, or else nothing burns. I am who I am, and I can't settle for someone who doesn't look at the whole person and say DAMN SHE'S HOT! And no person should settle for anything less. We are all attractive and beautiful in our own ways. And to settle for a person that can't see the whole person and be turned on by that, isnt' worth any ones time. Girls especially need to remember this in relationships. We are all so beautiful and attractive. Don't ever let some one make you think otherwise. Don't ever settle for being second best, dont ever let yourself think it's ok for him to look outside the relationship to be turned on. YOU ARE THE RELATIONSHIP, YOU SHOULD BE THE FIRE THAT BURNS IN HIS SOUL. If you aren't, then dont settle. It's such a trivial matter, such a shallow one, but know in your hearts that we are all beautiful attractive creations of god. If your person can't see that, there is someone out there better, just waiting to love you for who you are. There is someone out there ready to be with you and love you for your faults and still think you are damn hot! I guess the main point in all this, is DON'T SETTLE! We deserve someone who thinks we are hot no matter what. Ok end of rant.

Hello, for all of you who are keeping up with my book, Cleric of Toakase....in short, it will be a while for the next posting. I am in my last semester of college and that is taking over most of my life right now. So I have no time to write. But be patient and I will try and post at some point. Might not be until after the new year though, but after school I will be able to devote more of my life to the book. I dont want to write crap to just to fill up time. So more will come, but it will have to wait until after school. Love and hugs to all, and keep reading!

As promised, Alaric and Seth arrived back to the house at sunrise. Vic woke and sat up in a panic. The events of last night coming back into her head, she tried to shake it all away. She stood on unsteady legs at the realization that it wasn't all just some nightmare. The sun was just rising as she looked out the small window. She sighed as she heard voices coming from the small kitchen. She slowly walked out into the kitchen to meet the rest of the group.            

"So,  awake at least are we dear? I was afraid I would have to come wake you myself. We've been out hear talking for almost an hour already." Vic blushed at Miss Bea.

            "I'm sorry. It seems like forever since I've had a good night sleep."

            "Well it may be your last for a while." Alaric cut in, "We are leaving before the hour and have hard ground to cover. We might not see another bed for some time. So I hope you relished while you could." As he spoke he started to nibble on the toast that was in front of him, his cheeks getting all puffy and filled with food. He looked so much like someone's pet. Vic could hardly take him seriously. She tried to stifle a chuckle to no avail.

            "I don't know what you are laughing at. At least I am groomed!" Alaric shot back at Vic.

            Vic looked down at her self and saw she was quite disheveled. Her hair was all over, and the sleeping smock wasn't exactly flattering.

            "Speaking of which, here, go put this on. I hope it fits. We were in a hurry and this was what we could get." Seth threw a sack at Vic, which she caught clumsily. "Well…hurry up. We don't have all day." Seth shooed Vic away with his hand and went back to eating his breakfast. Vic went back into the room with the sack. She sat down on the small bed and took out the contents. She found a short black leather riding skirt, black leather boots that laced up to her knee, a white flowy shirt, and a dark green tunic with black leather around the seems. She also found a small black leather belt with a set of daggers in black sheaths. Carved into the sheaths were dragons. The handle of the daggers were carved in the shape of dragons as well. It all matched so beautifully. Vic bowed her head; she knew she would never be able to repay the cost of the items. She gave a prayer of thanksgiving to Toakase and quickly dressed. She found some toilettree items in the bag as well. She quickly brushed her hair and threw it up in a ponytail with the black leather bands she found. Satisfied with herself she walked back into the kitchen with the sack. At seeing Vic enter both Alaric and Seth stopped and stared at her. The clothes fit her well, a big difference from the cleric robes she had on before that showed nothing of her figure. She was strong and built, but at the same time graceful and delicate. Her eyes sparkled in the light from the just rising sun. Seth finally snapped out of the trance Vic had engulfed him in.

            "Well, you almost look like someone who can hold their own. I doubt you know how to use those things though," he nodded to the daggers around her waist." "But I figured you would need some sort of protection. I will help you learn to use them. Save the bigger weapons for after we arrive at Izenshou."

            "So you both are going with me to Izenshou then? What of your forces and what not?"

            Alaric answered, "It's like I said before Vic, we need more information. And I believe it lies in Izenshou."

            "Here, eat something child. You need your strength. And time is wasting." Bealynn lead Vic over to her chair and placed a steaming hot plate of stew in front of her as well as fresh baked bread.

            "Thank you Miss Bea." She turned her gaze to Seth, "How much do I owe you for the clothes and weapons Seth? I don't want to be in anyone's debt, or accept charity. I will-"

            Seth's eyebrows furrowed together, "Don't worry about it Vic."

            "No Seth, how much do I owe-"

            "I said don't worry about it!" With that he stomped out of the kitchen and into the back yard. Vic sat dumbfounded in her chair and looked at Alaric

            "What did I say? You understand don't you?"

            Alaric sat for a moment then sighed.

            "My child, you have much to learn. You have insulted him. This act was one to show friendship and no hard feelings from the day before."

            She replied in a small voice, "Oh. I see. I guess I would have been upset too. On a brighter note, we do have a long journey ahead of us to get to know one another. That way I won't make a fool of myself the next time. I will go find Seth and try and set things right before we leave." Vic quickly stood up from her bowl and ran to the back yard after Seth.

"She is a strange one that child. I wouldn't see a long journey as something good. Would you Bealynn?" Alaric sat and scratched his head.

"No Alaric I wouldn't. But then again, she does have a lot to learn." The two of them sat and laughed.

Vic found him standing next to the horses. He was feeding a carrot to one she had not seen before. It must be Seth's horse she thought to herself. He was much stockier than her own horse, and a deep grey with a black main and tail. There was a white star on his nose. Magote betrayed her presence with a short snort.

            "What, did Alaric need something?" He did not look up to face her but kept on feeding his horse.

            "No, I actually wanted to thank you for the kindness you have shown me. I did not understand that you were showing me good faith in friendship. For that, I hope I did not ruin the chance."

            She stood a little ways off from him, not sure if she should move closer. She waited a few moments to see if he had accepted her words. At seeing no response she bowed her head and turned to go.

            "No, you did not ruin the chance." He looked up at her. Vic stopped in her tracks her back to him. She nodded and answered back.

            "As Alaric said, we both have a lot to learn." She looked back at Seth and smiled, then walked into the house. She called back to him from the door.

            "We should hurry the hour is almost spent."

            Seth laughed to himself. Yes we both have a lot to learn, he thought. He then picked up the traveling bags that were on the ground next to the horses and tied them on both his horse and Magote. After rechecking the knots he walked back into the house, all hope rested on a cleric girl that had no clue of the world.

CHAPTER TWO

"Come on harder! You have to mean it!" Seth yelled at Vic who took another swing.

"Don't arch your arms like that! It leaves you vulnerable for impact!" He said that just as the tip of his sword whacked her on her unprotected side. Vic cried and fell over in pain.

"The blows from the enemy will be worse, and they will not stop." Seth chided as he stood over the fallen Vic. She clutched her side in pain, another pain to add to all the others. The sword was protected against stabbing, but bruising or breaking bones was another matter.

"Seth, we have only been on the road for four days. Do you honestly expect her to be a master in that short amount of time. She does need rest. You two have been at it non-stop since we left the house. You wake her unexpectedly to fight, charge her with no mercy, look at her!" Alaric jumped off the stump he was using to watch the sparring and ran over to Vic. He placed a hand on her forehead that was covered in sweat and dirt.

"Yes I am looking at her. And I see a girl who is soft. She needs to understand what she is up against. These practice rounds we have are nothing compared to what we will face, and you know that. She is hardly ready to deal with combat. She falls over at the slightest bit of pain, her form is sloppy, and her blows are weak. Any enemy will take quick advantage of that. She needs to keep practicing! She needs to get her ass up and go again!" He reached down and took hold of Vic's wrist and wrenched her up off the ground. Vic cried in pain but Seth ignored her and drew her close to him so that only she could hear.

"You are not weak. You are no longer a spoiled cleric bitch. You are a fighter and fighting for a cause. Now pick up your weapons and we go again. And we will keep going until you can stand up to me." He pushed her back and let go. She stumbled a bit in pain, and reached for her fallen daggers. She knew she was weak, and she was determined to learn all she could from Seth. She could not afford to let another slip like this happen again. Too much was at stake. They only had another month before they would reach another town. She was set on being a fair match to Seth by then.

"Vic, really you need rest. Please-"

Vic's voice was harsh and cracked, "No Alaric, Seth is right. We go again and keep going until I can hold my own." She set her jaw, prayed for Toakase for strength and struck at him again.

The pattern for most of the days went the same, Seth and Vic sparring, Vic tumbling to the ground, and Vic getting back up to take more abuse. As the days went on she did start to improve. Her falls became less and less, and her blows became more powerful. Near the end of the month Vic looked forward to their sparring matches. She even woke him up unexpectedly during the nights to spar. They were soon an equal match.

Ok as promised here is part two...and again if this offends people...then piss off!

Ok, aside from not being able to express emotions, let us look at how society tells us our men should be. Of course they must be macho and strong, hence the no emotions, but they must also be tall and strong. Most guys you see on TV or in magazines are ripped, tall and handsom. They generally come to the rescue of thier weaker counterpart (the girl). So they must be seen as someone who can kick ass, and not an average guy. Frankly I dont care how cute a guy looks, I want to know if he will treat me right. Take college life for example, how many of the "cute" guys want the "sexy," skinny girl who has a bad attitude? Granted I know not all of them do, and I know not all sexy skinny girls are bitches, I have many sexy skinny girls as friends. However, at this point in a guys life they want something to strut around with and show off, be it a car, a nice watch or a girl. Makes for bad marriages after college if all you want is something to show off on your arm. If you want something hot to show off, try your great smile, or kind heart. That goes further than any material thing. It's time we started looking into what people have for hearts and minds. That builds lasting relationships.

Ok now on to women. Our society paints such a weak picture of women. I have a hypothesis about this. Since our men have to be so strong and macho, I think women are trying to overcompensate for thier lack of emotion by becoming weaker and more emotional. The balance between the sexes has been lost, so to compensate for the lack of weakness men show, women pick it up to try and restore the balance. Would be an interesting topic to try and test. If you look at TV and magazine adds, you will see sickly thin women who are a mear shadow to the men they model with. They make the man seem so much bigger, so to compensate for this over macho look, they make the women so much more weak and small. This look for women is also what is contributing to women's low self esteems. It's starts as young as ages 2 or 3 with the shit we buy the kids. We teach them at a very young age that they must be thin, weak shadows. Take some time and look up and down a toy isle and you'll see it. It's very stealthy how they do it, but it's there. It happens in the classroom too, statisics show that boys will get called on more in class, the teachers tend to work more with the boys, and tend to show more attention to them in general. So early in life girls learn how to stay quiet, and not share thier opinions. Then as they grow older they see silent propoganda on how women ought to be, look, and behave. You can't get away from it, it's everywhere. Just the same for guys, where ever you look you are being bombarded with this unidealistic images on how people are supposed to be. Makes it very hard for women to grow up strong, when everything around them tells them to be weak.

I'm just so sick of this crap. We are all people, no matter what we look like, or what emotions we show. We all are deserving of love and life. But for some reason this notion has been lost to us through what society has deamed worthy. So what can I say that will fix the problem...well we could all start being more understanding and accepting of people. Will that happen? I dont know, but I have hope.

Ok so here is another of my rants. Bear with me, I haven't slept in two days. Again these are just things I have observed personally in all the areas that I have traveled. I am speaking in general terms on the way I see things in a general way. I know as well as anyone that not everyone will fit into a general analysis. But I also know that most people do fit into it. The scope of people that don't fit is a lot smaller than those who do. So if this offends you...piss off.

I am getting so sick of society. We, as a society, have our values all backwords and messed up! And then we wonder why boys in our society grow up to be jerks, and why our girls grow up to be weak women who have no self esteem. I will discuss further...

Let us frist look at men in our society. I am so tired of this macho attitude that men have adopted. They have this fear that they will be seen as less of a man if they show emotion. Frankly, showing emotion is a natural response our body has to certain circumstances. So when you are trying to hard to bottle things in, you go psycho. You have a melting point and go into a breakdown. Which is very unhealthy and causes ulcers and other complicated side effects. Now when I say emotion I'm not just talking about crying or showing when they are sad. I'm saying ALL emotion. Guys can't show how much they care about someone, how much they enjoy something etc... It's like all unhappy and happy emotions must be tucked away and the only acceptable emotion to show is anger. Now do we really want to live in a world where half the population is angry? I dont! Anger usually leads to violence when there isn't a way to let it out. When are people going to learn that it not unmanly to have emotions, it's being human!

....there will be a part two of this, I'm just too tired to write anymore...so to be continued...