you might wonder why ive come to like them. hey, i thought the same thing. dont worry. ill explain.

in order for me stop obessessing over super junior (that's another story), i had to find something to occupy my "freetime." with. ok, so it wasnt freetime. but i did go through this whole "phase" after my grandma passed. i still am, actually.

if i wasnt at work, i was cooking, sleeping, or depriving myself of happiness. now, dont take me as being emo. though i am, i was aware of it. i just didnt want to do anything about it. i sulked and sulked and just waited for something to come along to hopefully bring me up.

i was obviously wrong.

for me to stop thinking about all the devilish things that have happened in a matter of a few months, i just decided.. "hey, what's going on in kpop?"

those of you who have known me since highschool will know how OBSESSED i can be over kpop. well you know what? here i am, again. you'd think.. right? haha.. yeah.

i decided to find a group to obsess over. HAHA. i really did. and then i heard about these guys. i watched that mv above, and thought, "what the...? the blonde guy's weirrrd."

BUT how could i be so quick to judge?

i heard about their little mtv special on the making of their group, and watched the whole shabang in one day. i became addicted.

i think that these guys are another kpop trying to making it in little south korea, just like every other korean person in korea. the only thing that sets them apart is... nothing! hahahaha.

i like them simply because they're wholesome, funny, entertaining, and well.. attractive.

in terms of the blonde guy, i was too quick to judge. he is not the most attractive guy in the group. heck, not in the kpop industry! after watching the mtv specials, i realized what a good guy he was. he's totally hilarious, really cute, and completely beautiful in terms of his personality and character. he bumped himself up from number six to my number one FAVORITE guy in the group.. heck, in the kpop industry.

listen to how beautiful he sounds!i just want to take him and keep him! and dont you think he's doing well on his engrish? eh? eh? ^_^



it could be because he's still young, and only debuted a few months ago. he could still be a baby at this business, and might change (just like every freaking other kpop artist).. but like all the hellish things that have been happening in my life, i continue to have faith that his goodness will stay, no matter how ugly the future could look. because of that, i look forward to every performance/interview/show they put on. i am with them 100% of the way because of what they represent to me: my depression.

i couldnt have been quicker to judge my happiness. because in the end, it'll bump itself up to being a number one priority in my life. and when that comes around again, i know i can handle it because of my faith in it's goodness.

so there you go. with my infatuation in beast, ive become a "beauty."

and just to add, my other favorite is the rapper. junhyung. omg, he does this thing with his eyebrow when he talks/raps and it just (OMG) melts me too many times over. it's really sexy. ^_^

here they are doing a cover, rooting for cute yoseob and sexy junhyung. ^_^

i dreamt of thunder and lightening last night. lightening rich with purple and white hues, thunder loud enough to wake even the sleepy-est of all people.

i woke up, and it was real.

praying for the storm to clear, when we can look back to today and say, "we still have each other."

PICTURES finally.

there were too many pictures.. so im going to have to put them in to two blogs. sorry for the inconvenience!!

and a big thanks to my photographers: Seng Vang and Nick Moua. THANK YOU!!

Pre-wedding prepping/ rehearsal/ dad's early bday dinner














































JULY 12, 2008 
one of the GREATEST days of my life. ^_^

thought i'd let you know that life is fun. yup. responsibilities. no money. bills. oh yeah, it's the best. i couldn't have asked for more.

i blog on xanga now, just in case some of you want to stalk me every now and then. yeah. i give you my permission. i dont know how many times i have to stress that.

school's going to make my life even MORE fun this semester. oh yeah. chem, stats, history. who doesnt love to end their chem and math days with a little bit of history? yeah.

woooo hooo go life.

nonetheless, im content and excited about the next few years to come. i just found out im pregnant!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!OMG!

not! hahaha. i'd rather sever my arm before chou can impregnate me (yes, that was a little vivid).

ok ok. on a serious note, i really am excited about the next few years to come. i actually dont know what's going to happen, but im excited for it. im hoping i can keep my fat head up high so i can finally see, or else ill just be trucking along as i have these past few years. anyway, it was slow going.. but im finally getting somewhere in life. if only i wasnt such a procrastinator. hm.. how should i fix that..

good luck to everyone this new year, and especially to the students who are seriously living on $5/wk and a box of kimchi noodles.

i am aware of my wedding. i am aware that after my wedding, there is no more "me, myself, and i." i am aware that marriage isn't and will not be anything like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. i am aware that, unlike my lucky mother, i might have to meet in-law obligations (no offense). i am aware of what will be happening.

i am NOT aware of what's happening as of right now. this minute, im sitting here wondering, "tia, what the heck are you doing?" yeah, confused. Ok, so not really confused.. more like, just figuring a few things out. Well, "tia, you're a little too late." Not that I don't regret having chou in my life. He's the best thing God has given me.. ever.

I think it's bc I compare myself to the so many peers around me. My highschool graduating class is graduating from college this year. Everyone's finished, they're traveling, having fun, doing things that any college graduate will do. I envy their freedom and singleness bc they have so many options. I had options, and I had goals. I wanted to travel, do ministry, go on missions, teach abroad, make many friends. I wanted nothing more than that, and to just be one more good person in this gruesome world. I had so much I wanted to do.

But of course, it's not chou's fault. It's my own fault. Loss of ambition and self-motivation. I allowed myself to succumb myself to this material and social world. I was falling behind in school.. so what achievements would I have made when everyone I know is graduating? Don't take this the wrong way though. This is not why I chose to marry myself off. Please don't get me wrong. Please. This is just a blog. For all you know, I could be lying about everything ive ever blogged! Haha ok.

Anyway, these past few weeks (as ive blogged before), ive been constantly thinking about EVERYTHING. I mean, it's not like it's serious.. but it's been on my mind. Knowing I could've had so much more if I would've not gotten myself into this relationship.. or any relationship.

This sounds to be of regret, don't you think? I guess I at least have to admit that part of me wants to regret it. I guess it's pretty obvious. But for the most part, I don't regret it. Weird for me to say, considering how REGRETFUL ive been feeling, I don't regret a single thing ive done.

Im behind in school. It seems to run in my family. Haha. Jk. So what. Im making something of myself everyday. It might not be extremely gracious and life-touching, but I at least know im not wasting my days away drinking, binging, gambling, living off of my parents, and sitting at home just waiting for something to happen. Things don't just come, you have to bring yourself there. My parents are AMAZING. To think that most asian parents would have these super high educational expectations for you…makes me laugh. i do appreciate parents who set the standards high.. and most of the time, children get there.. and they learn something great from it. My parents, on the other hand, are amazing in that they don't expect much from us. Hahahahahahaha. It's funny, but true. You know why? Because they trust us. They trust that we won't make ridiculous life-regreting choices. They trust that no matter who we are, where we go, what we do.. we are children of God. and we'll live our lives sparingly for Him. And with that, we can become more than what they THINK they're supposed to expect us to be. Yeah, they push us, they yell, we argue (not so much anymore).. they trust us in what choices we make in our lives.. and forgive us for making mistakes. They're the best parents anyone could have. I truly think my parents are just slightly better than yours. ^_^

Anyway, back to my point. These "dangerous" thoughts ive been having will not affect the wedding and the ultimate choice im about to make. I can separate my imparitive thoughts from reality, at least in this matter. Chou is just about the coolest, greatest, beautiful person alive. To me, he's just perfect. Why would I want to trade what I could've had for him? Yeah, I'll soon be deprived of singlehood and its freedom, but no way would I trade that for him. He makes me want to better myself everyday. He's such a challenge, and so unique in who he is. He makes me want to bow down and say, "im nothing". Seriously. Haha. Chou is the spitting image of a Christ-like child: still so young, so beautiful, but so much left to learn and sins to grow from. so what if I didn't graduate on time, travel the world, meet new acquaintances and flower new friendships? I know that with chou, I can still have all that, and more. Now's just not the time for me. But now is the time for me to take on a kind of relationship that ive yet to experience with chou.

So yeah, I congratulate and envy all of you college graduates. You worked hard, and it shows. I envy the time you have, I envy all of your freedom and experiences. But I dont regret what ive done. im glad things happened the way they did. I don't know how much time God has given me on earth, but I still have so much more to give. A marriage and relationship cant stop me from having what you all have. I think ill be getting that, and more.

I can conclude my singlehood by saying, "let's get married!"