BEND IN THE PATH

The journey began

So long ago now

I do not recall

Just when it began

The path meandered

Up, down and around

Season to season

Through many lands

It grew familiar

The sights seemed the same

All comfortable

Was the view and the land

I was not watching

When the change came

Asleep or dozing

Or just distracted

All of a sudden

A jolt did I feel

Looking straight ahead

The road was no more

My head spun around

At ninety degrees

The road now going

There – another way

No fork, no crossroads

No option to choose

Path redirected

Just one way to go

Up, up, up steep hill

I climbed night and day

Not able to see

Any path ahead

The view is all new

The path not a friend

New territory

Unexpected land

I stand a moment

In wonder and awe

I move on slowly

Not sure what's ahead

How did I get here

To country so raw

A place so brand new

No sense of my way

Then, suddenly

Darkest night descends

Fear, fright, confusion

Become my close friends

I can't see ahead

Or look to the side

Darkness enfolds me

A chill settles in

For just a moment

The moon glances out

I suddenly see

Just what surrounds me

On a precipice

FINALLY things are being decided at work.  A part-time technician has accepted a full-time, permanent job … the second one who starts Monday and needs no training. (HUGE blessing!)  We are now looking for TWO part-time intern technicians.  The job will be posted next week at a local community college. 

It was finally decided the director position is to be eliminated and I will share the job with another person.  I have to admit; the other person and my boss left it almost completely up to me what jobs I took. A few jobs fell naturally into one lap or the other, while a few jobs either of us could have taken.  I let him take the ones that are the most time-consuming.  I really want my "old" job back, and for the most part do have it back.  The way the pie ended up being divided, I can do both jobs. 

But I am now officially in a position of being a director over other employees.  Suddenly, some things hit me between the eyes this weekend:  the level of responsibility I now have, that I am in charge of other people, and that I will have to answer to God for the example and direction I give.  I want to scream:  HOW DID I GET HERE?  I do NOT belong in a top district-level job!   Seriously, my direct boss answers to the bishop.  That is a high-level job. 

The truth is: I am a klutz.   And I'm not just talking physical (although that is definitely true!).  I screw up, easily, and often.  I know someone is going to come back with "well, we all do!" … but I really do mess up things easily. Be honest, you know the type … they have good intentions, do their best, but have a natural ability to mess up the simplest jobs.  That's me! 

And don't tell me, "trust in God."  There is a very real maxim:  GRACE BUILDS ON NATURE.  And I am a natural bungler. 

Please, pray for me.  I'm scared stiff. 

This was left as a comment on my site, but I so needed to hear it, I thought I'd post it as a blog as well.  It fits my life so perfectly at this moment! 

A Prayer to Jesus
by St. Pio of Pietrelcina

Oh my Jesus, give me Your strength when my weak nature rebels against the distress and suffering of this life of exile, and enable me to accept everything with serenity and peace. With my whole strength I cling to Your merits, Your sufferings, Your expiation, and Your tears, so that I may be able to cooperate with You in the work of salvation. Give me strength to fly from sin, the only cause of Your agony, Your sweat of blood, and Your death.

Destroy in me all that displeases You and fill my heart with the fire of Your holy love and all Your sufferings. Clasp me tenderly, firmly, close to You that I many never leave You alone in Your cruel Passion.

I ask only for a place of rest in Your Heart. My desire is to share in Your agony and be beside You in the Garden. May my soul be inebriated by Your love and fed with the bread of Your sorrow. Amen.

Out of fairness, I must also post this link:

http://insightscoop.typepad.com/2004/2007/10/archbishop-ni-1.html

I accept the bishop's apology, and PRAY (literally) that he will be wiser in the future.

Continue to pray for all bishops. They have a horribly difficult job. 

For those who have a strong stomach, see the ABSOLUTE WORSE case of clear-cut sacrilige I"ve ever seen:

http://www.qdomine.com/Morality_pages/MHR.htm

Pray with me, in reparation for sin, and for the increase of the awareness of sin in our world.... 

So, I've been doing two jobs for the last 2 weeks, and I'm not in the hospital, yet! LOL.  I can simply repeat what I said before:  I am LIVING the "footprints" poem ... my feet are not touching the sand, because Jesus is carrying me. BIG TIME. 

NEVER before in my life have I been so aware of the power of other's prayer.  My community, especially, is lifting me up daily.  And God keeps plunking prayers into my lap.  On the phone last week with a priest (talking business), I mentioned I was nervous about a HUGE meeting on Thursday. Father's response: "Hey, I don't have a mass intention tomorrow ... would you like me to offer Mass for you?"  WOULD I????? I believe in the COMPLETELY INFINITE POWER of the Mass.... what a HUGE gift!

To those who are praying for me:  Please, don't stop.  I am praying for all of you in return.  The job continues to be a challenge, even if Jesus is carrying me! 

For those who follow status updates, you'll know I've had quite the week.  My world turned upside down a week ago.  I've already mentioned about 2 co-workers quitting, and they haven't been  replaced. Then last Friday, my boss announced he'd put in his 2 weeks notice.  He's more than a boss. He's a visionary, a friend and the rutter of the department.  I honestly can't imagine work without him. But soon I'll have to. 

The unfortunate thing is, he's not leaving because it's his first choice. Circumstances  (which I am not subject to) have caused him severe grief for YEARS, and a recent incident was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.  He doesn't WANT to be leaving ... but really can't take it any more.  I point no fingers. A lesser man would have walked out years ago. 

Now, with the speed which the "powers" hire replacements, who knows how long it will be?  Come next Friday, we will officially be half-staffed ... literally and proverbally (like a flag).  How is a dept to run, with half their staff gone? 

The day he announced he was leaving, I was in absolute turmoil.  But every day, I find a little more peace.  It hit me yesterday that when I look back at this time in my life, years from now, it will be JUST LIKE that inspirational poem, "Footprints."  There will be only one set of footprints during these weeks.  I KNOW I am not withstanding all the stress and pressure on my own ... I break down too easily.  Yes, Jesus is carrying me, beyond any doubt! 

Pray for me and my co-workers!

Bella has a distributor! Thank you, Holy Spirit!

http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=25270

From Blessed Elizabeth -- Heaven in Faith

First prayer

19. "To approach God we must believe."¹  Thus speaks St. Paul. He also says, "Faith is the substance of things to be hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."²  That is "faith makes so present and so certain future goods, that by it, they take on existence in our soul and subsist there before we have fruition of them."³  St. John of the Cross says that it serves as "feet" to go "to God,"⁴ and that it is "possession in an obscure manner."⁵ "It alone can give us true light" concerning Him whom we love, and our soul must "choose it as the means to reach blessed union."⁶  "It pours out in torrents in the depths of our being all spiritual goods. Christ, speaking to the Samaritan woman, indicated faith when He promised to all those who would believe in Him that He would give them 'a fountain of water springing up unto everlasting.'"⁷ "Thus even in this life faith gives us God, covered, it is true, with a veil but nonetheless God Himself."⁸ "When that which is perfect comes," that is, clear vision, then "that which is imperfect," in other words, knowledge given through faith, "will receive all its perfection."⁹

20. "We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us."¹⁰  That is our great act of faith, the way to repay our God love for love; it is "the mystery hidden"¹¹ in the Father's heart, of which St. Paul speaks, which, at last, we penetrate and our whole soul thrills!"^11a  When it can believe in this "exceeding love"¹² which envelops it, we may say of it as was said of Moses, "He was unshakable in faith as if he had seen the Invisible."¹³ It no longer rests in inclinations or feelings; it matters little to the soul whether it feels God or not, whether He sends it joy or suffering: it believes in His love. The more it is tried, the more its faith increases because it passes over all obstacles, as it were, to go rest in the heart of infinite Love who can perform only works of love. So also to this soul wholly awakened in its faith¹⁴ the Master's voice can say in intimate secrecy the words He once addressed to Mary Magdalene: "Go in peace, your faith has saved you."¹⁵