Hot Mess-- Sept 22, 2009

HotMess Radio's Podcast

I am writing this blog to clear up some misconceptions and some flat out "lying and buffoonery"... regarding myself.  I met Laurica Brown earlier this year when I was presenting a Hip Hop show called STREET CRED 101. She is a student in ....Santa Barbara.... and is the host for weekly out hip hop show; HOT MESS RADIO on KCSB 91.9. She came up to ....L.A..... and requested an interview with myself and some other rappers. I am always down to talk with students and I also got her and a friend comp tickets to the show. I was nothing but cordial, polite, and professional during any meeting or discussions with Miss Brown.

I am also a manager under the LIL MILO banner. www.myspace.com/lilmilomanagement  Laurica requested to have Drew Mason, who I manage, to be guest on her show. I being the manager spoke on behalf of Drew Mason and set up the date and details about visiting her show. Drew Mason and I drove up to ....Santa Barbara.... and did the Hot Mess radio show on May 28th. The show became more of a Drew Mason spotlight because myself and his record label (BIG MILO) wanted to highlight his forthcoming CD.  We both had a great time and even had lunch with Laurica after the show. 

The next week her guest was rapper, Nano Reyes, who was at one time managed under Milo/Lil Milo Management and after his year agreement was over, was not resigned. I always keep personal and business matters between the parties involved. I did not speak publicly about Nano not being a part of Lil Milo Management. Nano Reyes went on the Hot Mess radio show and basically misrepresented myself and Milo/Lil Milo Management. Laurica as host of the show did not question his statements and basically just let Nano go on a rant. It is her show, but if it was my show I would not want an artist throwing around "lies and buffoonery" unless they could back it up.  Some of these accusations not only defamed my character, but also were meant to do lasting damage to my management business with points that can not be validated because they were flat out lies.  As host of a radio show Laurica should have been quick to dismiss this as hearsay and only one side of the story. She did none of that, and left not only herself, but her station open to lawsuits for defamation of character.


Milo Management responded to these accusations on you tube and a letter, but Laurica never offered airtime to hear my side of the story. I held no grudge toward Laurica and her station but chalked it up to desperation of an artist who had been dropped by his management. 

Khalil Amani is among many things a blogger, author, straight ally to LGBT causes, and my Spiritual Advisor. He has been nothing but a positive influence and ally of the out hip hop scene. Khalil wrote a blog to discuss the name of HOT MESS radio - see link below - There had been some people in the scene who did not like the name and Khalil was blogging on it. The blog was not well received by all and especially Laurica Brown, who also felt I had co-signed * on the blog because I left a comment.  
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=165662533&blogId=507693202

* I feel that Laurica has been negatively influenced by another rapper. This rapper will try his hardest to demean me and belittle my impact on the out hip hop scene because he says he is "indifferent" toward me and is bitter because my Spiritual Advisor called him out on his STANK attitude .  He was the first to twitter Laurica about Khalils blog and said the Senior Citizens (myself and Khalil) blogged about her show and inferred that I co signed on the blog. Please do read the blog, that in the end doesn't belittle what Laurica has done for the Out hip hop scene. I remember when Drew Manson and I finished our live on the air interview; Laurica got a call from this same rapper who basically critiqued her on air performance.   The more I think about it, Laurica has let her personal relations with some rappers to influence her on air tactics. She even gives me way too much credit in her naming of her program instead of taking ownership. When she first told me the two names she was considering in an email, I casually mentioned 'I Love the Hot Mess title" It was just a compliment and I had no idea she took my opinion as having such weight to name it that.    http://eoaksfynest.blogspot.com/

I say all this because I do not understand Laurica Browns latest outburst and character defamation of me on the September 22 show.  She spent a great deal of her show defending the HOT MESS title of her show and also personally attacking Khalil Amani and others who she felt were against her. I have spoke on the phone at least 3 times with Laurica after the Blog by my Spiritual Advisor to let her know that just because he may have questions about her show title, I do not let that influence my relationship to her and her show. I was talking to her about another hip hop act I manage, SALVIMEX, to appear on her show for the SEPTEMBER 15 show. This was set up to coincide with Mexican and Salvadoran Independence month, since Salvimex represent both cultures. Two of the members had work that day, and requested time off. I got a call on September 20 and in a message was told that the segment with Salvimex had to be cancelled because station management requested she handle other business one her show that night, and not out hip hop. I was kind of taken aback when I heard the September show on the 15th and heard regular programming and an interview with out hip hop artist BARON. 

Laurica Brown on her September 22nd show said, and I am paraphrasing but listen for yourself on the Podcast above. ’”Salvimex will be on the show on terms best for them, and when it is about them and their music and work. Hopefully their manager will do things to make that happen instead of doing things to highlight himself." 
Ok, let me break this down. First off, Laurica Brown, you have already contradicted yourself, when I was told that you cancelled Salvimex because of KCSB radio management. If it was about my "Highlighting' myself you did not say that on the phone message or by phone. I take major OFFENSE to that and this will be the LAST time I speak on it. I capitalize OFFENSE and LAST because you seem to give those two words a lot of credit.  I have never taken the spotlight from my artists, and made it about me. A manager is responsible to set up shows, and that is part of my job. I do not think you know what is "best" for SALVIMEX since you had no consideration for their schedules by canceling at the last minute. I mentioned before that two members had already requested time off, and ended up losing a days pay, so do not tell me what is best for them.  

I did phone Laurica to talk about her once again defaming my character. I hope that Laurica can begin to separate hurt feelings and her professionalism. I also think if she is a person of her word she will separate a bias she has with me and not let that influence artists associated with me to get on the air as guests or their songs played. At the end of the day it is her show, and she can do what she wants and play artists she wants and keep the name what she wants. I do not like people to influence my work, so she has the right to represent herself and her show as she sees fit. I as an artist and a manager have just learned a hard lesson to always think about who I get involved with even if it is a college radio station. As far as giving me so much credit in the naming of the show, HOT MESS, I must have had foresight that Laurica and her show would end up such a HOT MESS!

Where do I start, without sounding old, bitter and/or jaded. I am sick and tired of some of the new breed of rappers I have been dealing with.  I have come to some conclusions after much introspection and just in time for the 'PICK UP THE MIC' DVD release.

I first need to rewind and clue you in on how I became the DEADLEE you see today. It was 1994 when I began to rap with my best friend ROQUE at house parties. From 95-2000 I was basically rapping as a hobby. It was not until 2000 that I decided to get serious. I was at my lowest having just ended a 6yr relationship, my car was stolen, and I was starting a new job. I put any extra money I had into recording. I took the bus to my producers twice a month for over a year recording my first CD, SEVEN DEADLEE SINS.

In 2001 with a completed CD I began playing open mics, Sunset strip bars, Gay bars, and basically anywhere I could. At the end of 2001, I got my first mention in a publication, called BLUE from Australia. That article became a launching pad for me. Juba Kalamka from the original gay rap group RAINBOW FLAVA and of DDC fame, saw the article in BLUE and invited me to the 2nd PEACEOUT FESTIVAL in Oakland in 2002. PEACEOUT was an international gathering of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender hip-hop artists, activists, fans and supporters to celebrate the LGBT presence in hip-hop music and culture.

I took my posse of 8 including BBoy dancers, my DJ, and HYPE guys up the 5 FREEWAY from Los Angeles to OAKLAND! I was in hip hop heaven, as I was amongst other gay rappers. Before this festival,  I had only heard of one-- JUDGE "DUTCHBOY" MUSCAT had been mentioned in VIBE Magazine as an open gay rap artist. I was honored to meet the only gay rapper I had known of as well as many others. Some of the others included, TORI FIXX, GOD-DES and SHE, CAZWELL, DDC, and MISTER MAKER followed by JENRO and JOHNNY DANGEROUS and QBOY the next year.

2003/2004 was non stop shows, recording a 2nd CD - ASSAULT WITH A DEADLEE WEAPON, and a lot of hard self promotion hitting papers, magazines, TV shows, and PRIDES. I was the subject of not one, but 2 documentaries- HIP HOP HOMOS and PICK UP THE MIC.  All this was going on while I continued working as a counselor full time. During this same time, I took a trip to NYC just to record a song with DUTCHBOY and spend some time with one of the OG OUT RAPPERS. I knew that if I wanted to make it, I had to learn from the ones that started it. 

My CD completed, I became frustrated that as a gay rapper there was not a lot of interest or buzz. My CD was collecting dust and was packed away in boxes. It was in 2006, I found a manager in Camilo Arenivar who believed there was still life in my CD. MYSPACE was the upstart site that finally gave me access to thousands of fans around the world. I also found a USC film school student, JOHNNY SKANDROS, who was so touched by one of my songs -'GOOD SOLDIER 2'- that he wanted to film a video.  LOGO TV came out in 2007 just in time for my video to debut on the station and eventually be one of the best of the year. 

This was just a set up for the HOMO REVOLUTION tour, which was the brainchild of my manager, and executed by both of us. Camilo knew that in order for us to really get attention, we would have to take our act on the road. We gathered a variety of LGBT rappers including some from PICK UP THE MIC, and some new ones. Just the name, HOMO REVOLUTION TOUR, got us attention that resulted in appearances on HOWARD STERN, TYRA BANKS, CNN and a lot more mainstream press. I would have to say that GAY RAP was on the HIP HOP radar!

2008 was time to see the fruits of our labor. So many of the rappers from PICK UP THE MIC made great professional gains with tours, videos, and great albums. I think the biggest and best surprises was the impact on the next generation of rappers. So this is where the conflict comes in. A lot of the new gay rappers that started to pop up claimed they had never heard  there were gay rappers already, or just didn't appreciate our styles. Whatever the case, it was already documented in PICK UP THE MIC. Some rappers took another route and reached out to the pioneers to help with their young careers. CAPTAIN MAGIK was a catalyst in the formation of OUTHIPHOP.com which was eventually created by Camilo Arenivar in 2008. 

I too was inspired by the new crop of out rappers, that I started LIL MILO MANAGEMENT in the tradition of my manager -- to advance the next generation of rappers with knowledge I had already attained. DREW MASON, DaLyrical, and CAPTAIN MAGIK are 3 of my out artists that I am proud to be a part of their growth as artists. I also made an impact on renowned author and iconoclast KHALIL AMANI S.A. - who became the spiritual advisor to out hip hop. He has been one of our few straight allies who not only wrote a book about our scene, Hip-Hop Homophobes, but regularly advances our cause  with a vicious tenacity.

This leads me to my only gripe! There are a few of the new rappers that do not know what being an artist is all about. They do not want to be artists, but they want to be stars. Maybe it is because the PICK UP THE MIC artists were before the MYSPACE, FACEBOOK, YOUTUBE and TWITTER days when the struggle was part of the journey. We were picking up the mic because we grew up on and breathed hip hop. The stardom followed, but that was just reward for years of being on the grind!

Don't get me wrong, I see a lot of the new out rappers that understand what being an artist is all about. I also know that the work we PICK UP THE MIC artists have done whether you like it or not, has had a direct impact on the evolution of out hip hop. The overall message is that knowing our past will prepare us for the future.

I have had some personal struggles and animosity toward some of these newer artists that think they are stars overnight. A mention in SPIN magazine was not necessarily of their doing, but I think the fact they got some notice before a lot of struggle has left some with a warped sense of reality. I recommend all out rappers pick up a copy of PICK UP THE MIC when it comes on DVD so you can see the evolution of our revolution. The revolution is far from being over, but just a footnote to the newbies. ALL this didn't happen overnight so stay on the grind and make it easier for those that come after you.

Deadlee drops some knowledge on the burgeoning homo hop movement. The up-and- coming emcee talks about confronting a notoriously hompohobic genre from within, as he preaches a message of acceptance through beats 'n rhymes.