Spiderman 3

*** (3 out of 5)

So I watched Spiderman 3 last night and I don't know what I thought of it.  As I was leaving the theater, I could not figure out if I liked it or if I was disappointed with it.  I know I didn't hate it.  It entertained me for the time it was being displayed on the big screen which is why it receives my 3 stars out of 5 rating.  So I'm going to break it down to what I liked and what I bothered me about the movie...

The Villains

Venom - he was a great villain and I wish he had more time on the screen.  Topher Grace (That 70's Show) was excellent to watch.

Sandman - When I was reading the pre-movie write ups on this movie, alot of the concern was how they were going to make Venom a believable character in a "real" Spiderman world.  They had no problem with Venom, but they should've worked more on Sandman.  He's a giant pile of sand.  His backstory was cool though.

The New Green Goblin - this character had alot of potential because they used the first two movies to build his story.  You have a full understanding for his hate for Spiderman.  But I was disappointed with how it played out in the third edition.

This movie also piled on the "cheese" big time.  It was so bad at some points where you couldn't tell if the writers were doing it on purpose for laughs.  The theater was full of laughter at some of the dialogue but I do not think that was the intention of the writers.  Spiderman is a comic book hero movie and it shouldn't take itself too seriously, but give the movie go audience some credit, they like to lose themselves in the cinematic adventures.

Another moment in the movie that caused a large "groan" in the theater was near the end, when Spiderman is swooping in to save the day to the delight of the frightened New York citizens, he lands right in front of a giant American flag.  There is nothing wrong with a bit of flag waving from time to time but when you spend all movie building up the villains character, showing that they feel they have no choice but to do their evil deeds so that they can protect what they hold dear (Sandman is doing it for his dying daughter, Venom is doing it for revenge after being embarassed by Spiderman) - even making the audience feel some pity for them, it just seemed out of place and strange.

Action was great though.  Kirsten Dunst also had my "spidey-senses" tingling throughout the film.  These have been fun movies, and this one is no different.

Greetings all,

Tonight I ventured to Kanata for some cinematic adventures.  The feature presentation was Rocky Balboa.   Some of you may know that the Rocky movie franchise has a special place in my heart as they remind me of my childhood.  It seemed like every weekend, my brothers and I would pop on one of the Rocky movies and when it was finished we would be all fired up for some good old fashion boxing matches.  It would be Murray vs myself, man-o a man-o...epic battles.  Unfortunately, my parents didn't believe that we should be boxing so they didn't buy us boxing gloves, however, my older brother and his friends were pretty insistent that we box...so we would put socks on our hands for boxing gloves.  Socks do not have much padding compared to boxing gloves but it didn't seem to bother us as we boxed until we had incredible headaches.  Anyways, fond memories.  This new Rocky movie was enjoyable and if you were a fan of the earlier movies, you won't be disappointed. 

I give it 3.5 stars out of 5.

I'm Ryan Guthrie, reporting from Almonte, Ont.  Peace be with you.

Yo,

As most of you know, I help organize the annual Almonte Celtfest which is held in Gemmill Park in Almonte. This year, the event will be held Sunday, July 16th from Noon till 8pm. The festival offers a wide range of entertainment and is FREE! There is also beer available.  If you do not know what the Almonte Celtfest is all about...it's kind of like celebrating St. Patty's Day, but in July.  In fact, it's nickname should be "St. Patty's Day, Part 2".  It's probably the greatest music festival you can attend!!  The Elders are the headliners for this years event. This will be their second year in a row performing at the Celtfest. They bring a high energy performance and quite frankly, they are fantastic! (www.eldersmusic.com)

The Elders are also performing an indoor concert on Saturday, July 15th (the night before) at the old town hall. Tickets for that event is $15. Beer will be available at the concert. After the concert, there will be live celtic entertainment at the Postmasters Pub. (If anyone is interested in concert tickets, I have some)

Thanks, and I hope to see everyone out this weekend!

Ryan O'Guthrie

For more information - you can go to www.almonteceltfest.com

Ladies & Gentlemen,

I've got something to say.  As some of you may know, July 1st is a very special day.  It's a day, where lumberjacks feel that extra pride in their axe swinging duties.  It's a day, where hockey players think about past glories and future conquests.  It's a day, where beavers and moose get along and drink beer together.  Women wrap the red and white Canadian flag around their bodies as if it were a strapless top.  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of different ages, races, and spaces....IT'S CANADA DAY!  Happy Canada Day to you and your family!  Please have a cold one for me folks...I'll be stuck in a car for 12 hours! 

Superman Returns - 9 out of a possible 10

I have been waiting for this movie since 1987.  That was the last time I got to see the Super One on the big screen.  I looked everywhere for my Superman costume (that can be seen in my profile picture)...but unfortunately (or fortunately) could not find it, so I had to go see the movie in my regular street clothes (or my Clark Kent costume).  So here we go... the review.

Opening credits.  I pee my pants a little when they play the original theme music from the Christopher Reeve Superman movies I grew up to and loved.  This is a good start.  We find out that Superman has left Earth for 5 years, and nobody knows why...boy, I love a mystery.  Holy crap, it's friggin' Superman, I can't give a professional review for this!  I really loved it!  I have a non-sexual crush on the him.  I wish I had my own Superpowers, because that would be awesome.  I'm getting a Super boner just thinking about it.  Anyways, back to the review.  The guy who plays Superman/Clark Kent (oh, by the way, they're the same guy!  I hope I didn't ruin that for anyone), was great.  His looks and maneurisms were very close to the late Christopher Reeves.  Kevin Spacey was an amazing Lex Luther.  He brought a darker side to him which made him a better villain.  Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane was pretty hot.  Parker Posey was hilarious.  The movie was awesome...although my only complaint, it dragged on at the end (movie running time, 2 1/2 hours), but it's bearable.  This was the best Superman movie of all time!  Fans will not be disappointed.  I have super permi-hard nips that I will have to deal with somehow.  Take care, comb your hair.

Well, I had nothing exciting to do tonight, so I decided to go to the theaters for some more cinematic adventures!  Since I'm incredibly single at the moment, I played the role as the good old Third Wheel for my younger brother and his girlfriend tonight.  Anyways, we decided to check out the new Adam Sandler flick, Click.  Here is my review...

CLICK -  8 stars out of 10!

Kate Beckinsale is soooo hot.  I think I wouldn't mind making friends with her and then try and win her heart over by dancing sexily to conga drums.  If I were to meet her, I'd probably tell her that her dad must have been a baker, because she has some nice buns.  Then we'd both laugh because it was such a cheesy pick-up line.  Anyways, even though she is in this movie, I will still give it a fair review, I will not be biased just because she is on my "Top 5" list.  I owe you, the reader, that honesty.  So having said that, Click still gets a good rating, 8 out of 10.  This movie has a good message for all you movie goers out there even though it's been done before in lots of other movies (It's a Wonderful Life, The Family Man, A Christmas Carol)...but this is an Adam Sandler movie, so we get to laugh alot too.  Things I liked about this movie:

- Fonzie is in it!  If you don't like the Fonze, I will roundhouse kick you.

- One of the O'Doyle kids is in it from Billy Madison and even has the same name O'Doyle in this movie.

- Kate Beckinsale makes me feel funny down near my "Cash & Prizes"

- Christopher Walken is amazing as always.  The man has great hair.

- I got that feeling in my throat, you know when you feel like you are choked up, and then tears began to fill my eyes...but I stayed strong, I did not cry...if I did, I'm sure my little brother would have made fun of me and that's not cool.

- David Fucking Hasselhoff was in this movie...so Germans will probably really like this movie too. 

I recommend this movie and give you full permission to spend the $13 Canadian to go see it in theaters (you don't have to wait till cheap Tuesday!)  And get some popcorn...you deserve it.  Alright, I'm outta here folks.  Next movie review - SUPERMAN RETURNS.  (I've been waiting since 1987 for this movie to come out...I think I still have my costume that my mommy made for me when I was 5.  I think I'll try it on and check out my package!)

Well, yesterday was pretty hot and humid.  One can only hide in the swimming pool for so long before prune hands take over so I decided to find alternatives to beat the heat yesterday.  So I decided to go to Canada's second coldest building (first being the Hockey Arena), the movie theater.  Yes, theaters crank up the A/C for my comfort and I love them for it.  And lets not forget the real reason we all attend the theaters and thats for cinematic adventures!  If you say you don't like cinematic adventures, you are a bold face liar and should be tarred and feathered.  We are right smack dab in the middle of the summer movie season, and me loving cinematic adventures, Im so excited, I think I have the hardest nipples around!  So for your convenience, anytime I visit the theater for some movie action, I will give you a review of the movie I saw.  Last night, being Father's Day, I took my dad, my younger brother (Murr-doggy Dawg) and my younger brothers gal to the cinemas to watch Nacho Libre. Here is my review

NACHO LIBRE - 6 Jumbo Hot Dogs out of a possible 10

Jack Black stars in this strange comedy about a guy who is the cook at an orphanage.  Unfortunately the orphanage is poor and all he can make them is Nachos.  (Umm, is that really a problem??)  The movie starts off slow and is well strange.  The movie was written by the same people who wrote Napoleon Dynamite.  If you did not like that movie, you will not get much enjoyment from this one.  I did like Napolean Dynamite, but lets not get side tracked here.  Right, so Jack Blacks character dreams to be a Mexican wrestler and make money so he can feed the kids at the orphanage better food.  I did say that the movie does start off slow but you get the feeling that the audience in the theater wasnt sure how to react to the strangeness of the filmbut with an opportune fart joke, everyone realizes that the movie is not taking itself seriously and finally the audience feels comfortable to laugh.  And there are lots of laughs, especially when he hooks up with his side kick who is an incredibly skinny, strange looking Mexican man.  This movie is not filled with too many memorable moments, but when the wrestling begins it is quite entertaining.  In the end, when I left the theater I felt satisfied but it was not the funniest movie Ive seen.  I recommend Nacho Libre for Cheap Night Tuesday. 

YOU KNOW YOU'RE STRESSED IF...

Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.

You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

The Sun is too loud.

Trees begin chasing you.

You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.

You can hear mimes.

You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you are the only one in the room.

Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.

Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.

You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.

You can see individual air molecules vibrating.

It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

You listen to your relaxation tapes on high speed.

You call your voicemail from your car using your cellphone while driving to work to remind yourself of tasks to do during the day.

Your e-mail notification tune is Taps.

You call the Time & Weather because that lady "really understands you."

You take the "Don't Walk" sign personally.

Your pager is set to stun.

Last night, we got a pretty wicked thunderstorm.  My dog, Bailey, does not share my enthusiasm for a good thunderstorm.  In fact, my dog is absolutely terrified when it comes to thunder and lightning.  So I was driving home from hockey last night and I felt kind of bad for my dog because the poor guy was at home all by himself and we were getting a crazy ass mofo thunderstorm.  The sky was consistently lit up by lightning.  I knew my dog's mental state would be...well mental.  He would be shaking like a leaf, and panting like a porno star.  Sure enough, I came home and he was going nuts.  His tail was between his legs, he was shaking and there was drool all over the place because of his ridiculous panting.  But he seemed to be comforted by the fact that I was home.  But now comes the part where I realized the extent of his fear... I went in my room, took two steps and stepped in something that could only be described as unsettling.  Unsettling, yet, I understood the situation immediately.  The thunderstorm had literally, and I mean literally, scared the crap out of my dog.  I'm so happy that today's forecast calls for severe thunderstorms...