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Ajam

Last Updated: 7/5/2006

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 25
Sign: Libra

City: Schuylerville
State: NEW YORK
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/9/2006

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Back to work after three hours off.
Current mood:

discontent

My favorite part of the day, is the end of the day because it brings me one step closer to the...one step cloer to the end of the next day. Yeah, that isn't me living life to the fullest, but it will happen over time. I think I picked the wrong time to start saving up some money to go back to college. My job doesn't pay that well, but I can't move on to one that pays better yet. I'm working somewhere else, too, but it isn't making any difference right now because I just moved into a new place. This seems like a give and take thing. I give up all of my earnings, and I take myself home drained, and my money spent. Is three jobs the key? I don't think so. Anyway, I'm still getting things sorted out at my house. I still don't know when I'll have time to travel, but I should be able to by the end of the month. And when I say travel, I mean to the Burg to see some old friends.

7:07 PM

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

Nothing important, so it's really the same thing that is usually is, isn't it?
Current mood:

anxious

This is an extremely unimportant, borderline useless waste of time and energy, not so much effort, because it really didn't require me putting any effort into it. I've decided that I would like to amount to something. I don't know what spurred it, but it's probably seeing all the people I knew moving through college, while I'm focusing most of my time and energy into a job that may turn into a fruitful career, but only if I am exceptional at it. The hard part about that is my job really isn't something you can learn out of a book, which is my greatest strength, I think. I usually put time and effort into whatever I do...few exceptions... Anyway, when I see that people have finished their sophomore year of college already, and I may have finsihed enough credits for one, and mainly because of my high school ambition and the classes I took then, few of which I put any stock into. While I was attending college, I immersed myself in History, Anthropology, and English classes. After thinking about it, I am determined to return to college, next year, and perhaps even for the Fall '06 Semester. I also decided that I should finally take my SATs instead of putting them off, and giving myself another excuse not to go away to college. Believe me, I won't get homesick, I just don't like the idea of graduating, and instead of being able to fully enjoy that, having to look into a future full of tuition payments. I'll get by, and I will make the effort and time I put into everything so far worth something. I think I really fucked up back in tenth grade when I dropped out of school. I took almost a full year off, and then I went to Warrensburg instead, where I met some great people. I graduated from Luzerne with good grades, and everyone thought I should be really proud, myself included. You know what? That doesn't make me proud, because every time that I think back to it, I can't help but remember that I fucked up. Even when I was back in school, I fooled myself into believing that I was doing everything I could do, and I wasn't, and there have been very few things that I ever gave 100% to. I did as well or better than 90% of the people that I went to school with, but I want to see what I can do, when I do give 100%. I think if I can do that, then I'll have something to be proud of. That's all for now.

9:55 PM

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Thursday, June 01, 2006

Moving on.
Current mood:

calm

Tomorrow, I definitely move into my new house. It's still in this general area. The house is a little further from my job, but I'll manage. I'm also going to get another job. The one I have right now doesn't pay well enouogh for me to get by with. If I get another, that'll make three, and then I'll be able to live comfortably. Anyway, my last week has been pretty uneventful. These are my parting words: It's fucking hot out, and the humidity is killing me. If humidity was a person, and hot was his/her twin, I would punch them in the face, pick them up by their ankles, steal their lunch money, and then point and laugh at the fact that I just did the stupidest thing ever.