I am writing this blog as a response to the hate mail I get regarding CBGB. Instead of writing back each one individually, they can just refer to this blog.
I love hearing how some people bitch about CBGB. Every so often you may hear one of your friends (or maybe even you yourself) bitch about how much we suck. Well here are the top ten reasons people say we suck... along with some of our retorts.
10. "That place sucks cause they threw me and my underage friends out for sneaking in beer." (yep... we suck cause we don't want to get shut down because you and your underage friends are too lazy to drink in the park)
9. "I heard CBGB is suposed to be famous... but my band played and there was no one there. And they don't support musicians... they made us get off the stage when we wanted to keep playing. That place sucks."(Of course it can't be that no one likes your band... it must be the club's fault that no one came to see you. And we made you stop playing because there were other bands on after you that want to play. You don't support musicians. When you play long and refuse to get off the stage, you're not fucking over the club... you're fucking over the bands going on after you. Do you think the midnight band on a Tuesday night wants to start at 1:00AM?)
8. "Fuck that place. I tried to get tickets but the show was sold out." (ah yes... we got tons of hate mail from little straight edge kids after the Gorilla Biscuits shows sold out. This one I just can't fathom... if the show sold out that somehow makes us a lousy club?? But that's strightedge kids for ya... if they got in, they had a great time... if they didn't get in, fuck CBGB they deserve to close.)
7. "The asshole bouncers asked me to leave because I was smoking a joint... jeez it's just pot... who cares? I guess CBGB isn't cool." (Who cares? The cops care. If you think drugs should be legal, go smoke a joint on the street or in your home. This goes back to the underage drinking. When it comes to drugs in nightclubs (whether it's one guy smoking a joint or three guys dealing heroin) the law doesn't differentiate. We will lose our license. It may be a stupid and petty law, but it gets clubs shut down. But, of course, we're the assholes, right?
6. I hate that place... it's too dark and scary looking. (There's some really nice well lit dance clubs down the block with some swell furniture and pretty walls. But we're an underground rock club and if you think underground rock belongs in one of those places, you've got a lot to learn.)
5. "CBGB didn't treat us like rockstars and bring us drinks and towels to the stage." (I've heard tons of "big" bands gripe about this one... but never to us directly. They'll bitch about it to their managers or in their online blogs or whatever. What, are you mute? We have drinks and towels. Ask us for them and we'll provide them for you. We're not mind readers and you're not invalids. You want to be a primadonna and play "rock star" at nice neat white walled venues being catered to, go do that, but don't pretend you're a real rock band. CBGB is a club for musicians... and some of them have gone on to be real rockstars.
4. "Those guys are assholes. When I'm hanging out with my friends in front of the club, they tell us to move down the block." (Yes we are assholes because it is too much for you to move 40 feet down the block. If too many people are hanging out in front of the club, the police issue us a summons for having a "disorderly premise." The summons carries a hefty fine and goes against our license. You may have heard we have been having trouble with our landlord/ upstairs neighbor. "Anonymous" complaint calls are constantly made against us when there are too many people out front. But the 6 seconds it would take you and your friends to walk away from the front of the club is such a terrible inconvenience. We deserve the ticket just for daring to impose on you. Sorry.)
3. "On some of the big punk shows they don't allow re-entry." (See the reason above regarding a crowded sidewalk. If we know ahead of time the show is going to be incredibly busy, we will sometimes have no re-entry to avoid the problem. Also, unfortunately, many of the so-called new punk kids are always trying to get over. On some of the punk shows in the last year we have tried allowing re-entry, but everytime... and I do mean everytime... there's always some kids sneaking in booze or trying to bumrush the door with fake stamps. Sure we could hire even more security... but more money for security means less money for the bands. But the new kids don't care about that anyway... fuck the scene seems to be the attitude.) We know this sucks for all you people who are cool and don't cause any problems... especially for the smokers out there. It's a tough law and a no win situation. Sorry. Elect a Democrat mayor next time.
2. "Fuck that place... the drinks are overpriced and so is the cover charge." (Yes, the drinks cost more than they do at your local club in Brooklyn... but your local club in Brooklyn is paying a fraction of the rent we do. I know what you're gonna say now. "But the bar down the street from CBGB also has cheaper drinks." Yes... true... but the bar down the street from CBGB is a fraction of our size, thus pays a fraction of the rent we do. Aside from the bar area, we have a front area, sound man area, a tier section, an open floor area and,of course, a stage. You'll find our drink prices equal or below many other large Manhattan night clubs. The bar pays our rent. The door pays the bands. As to the door prices... we charge $7 on most weekdays for 4 or 5 bands and $10 on the weekends for 4 or 5 usually bigger bands. If you think that's too much for hours of live music, stay home. That's less than the price of a 2 hour movie in Manhattan. The only time we raise our prices above that is when we have larger national touring acts that are asking for large money guarantees.
As to bands that bitch that they don't get paid... that's bullshit! Our overhead costs are minimal. We pay the doormen and the sound engineers from the door. Everything after that is divided among the bands based on draw, distance travelled, etc. Have there been dead nights where there is little money?... of course. But the bands can't bitch at us that no one came to see them play. There are plenty of bands and outside promoters who have walked out after playing or promoting shows with wads of cash and big smiles.)
1. "Fuck CBGB. I thought they were a punk club and we could fuck shit up, but the bouncers tossed me for (fill in the blank here)" (If this is your attitude... and you can't imagine how many times we've actually heard this one... then you know nothing about punk. Whether it's underage drunk posers sneaking in booze at a Casualties show or just some random idiot throwing a bottle or chair or table into the crowd or at the stage... our bouncers always hear the same excuse... "I thought this was a punk club... I guess CBGB isn't punk." *sigh* Kid, you are not punk. What you think you know about punk is less than what I've forgotten. Go throw a chair at a five star restaurant... go be underage and drunk in a bank... that's punk. Let me spell it out for you kids
THERE IS NOTHING PUNK ABOUT YOU PUTTING THE CLUB THAT PUTS ON SHOWS FOR YOU IN DANGER OF BEING SHUT DOWN
What you're doing is about as anti-punk as it gets. We've had tons of frivilous lawsuits against us and have had tons of insurance companies drop us because of the punk shows we do. Our premiums are through the roof. In fact we nearly had to close a few years ago when our insurance lapsed and we couldn't find a new broker. If you're some poser kid who thinks they're all punk and you want to be all anti-authority and prove how tough you are... go smash up City Hall, not CBGB you moron... or just shut the hell up and enjoy the show like everyone else.