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Joey Only Outlaw Band



Last Updated: 12/8/2009

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Status: Single
City: Cariboo Mountains
State: British Columbia
Country: CA
Signup Date: 3/11/2006

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Sunday, December 06, 2009 
Dr Joey Only is in the house
Vancouver’s genuine adventurous punk rock country boy and underdog, our Stompin’ Tom and Hank Williams rolled into one, had to be interviewed. It wasn’t death threats to us really but a message he left on our myspace about getting no press in Vancouver... “Maybe I’ll just hold Usinger hostage with a stapler or something to get an article...and just pray like hell the mounties don’t have taserz.” 

Skinny: What have you done in the last year? I know you played the Calgary Stampede, what craziness have you gotten up to?

Joey Only:The last year has been crazy, I still manage to play 80 shows on the road every year or more! If Vancouver only knew...
We toured with Saskatoon’s rockabilly legends Five Star Homeless last summer and did 18 shows with Washington’s Bob Wayne and the Outlaw Carnies. Bob Wayne is one of Hank III’s best friends so that was a special trip for us. My liver still hurts.
We headlined at Artswells and Robson Valley Musicfest and in winter we headlined the Snowboot Ball in Smithers and later Blizzardfest in Rossland. We did an 8 show tour in February which paid great but ended in a terrible car accident on Hwy.3. Shortly after that I went to Ontario for Warren ‘Spider’ Hastings funeral in Belleville Ontario where I played my infamous song in his honour ‘Spiderland Punkfest’. Then we closed Geoff Berner’s awesome CD release show in Vancouver the next weekend.In April I returned to Ontario with labour legend Anne Feeney for 8 shows and went to Halifax with Kingston based band Liqourbox. 
I did 10 shows with Australia’s amazing alt-country band the Re-mains through to Alberta in June. Recently, I climbed 5 mountains with Todd from Rebel Spell and the next week did a tonne of sets at the Palomino during Calgary Stampede. The Palomino bar staff voted us ‘craziest band to ever play there’.We got to party with Washboard Hank and Fred Eaglesmith’s band and all our musical friends in Alberta. I been having the time of my life. Next up I get to play bass for Traveler this summer on their festival circuit.

S: You play covers as well as originals and you told me your philosophy about covering someone else’s song and can you tell me again?

J: I often say that the tradition of folk/roots music is something that should be kept alive. So there have been numerous examples where I have pulled out other peoples‘ songs to teach them to others. I often teach workshops at festivals on the history of radical folk and labour music. But these days I am starting to feel so empowered by my rockin line-up and all these dozens of bad-ass songs I’ve written that I don’t want to play anything but songs of my own pen. The person who really set me straight on that one was Bob Wayne, he never plays a cover...except maybe a Hank III song but only cause Hank recorded one of his. When I played telecaster for Bob Wayne on that tour I had to learn hours of his originals! 

S: Is activism as big a part of you as music? What causes do you take up?

J: For a long time my music was very activist based. There are several reasons why that has changed a little. Now I still say exactly what the hell I think, but I didn’t want to get labeled an activist singer any more because it was limiting my audience. Though I have toured with Anne Feeney recently where our audience was nearly entirely of the left wing, so it’s not like I have completely distanced myself from that world. But really...Last week we played a drunken corporate function at Stampede and it was great to see the look of the shock on their faces when they seen I really don’t give a fuck what they thought. We said shit that could get you lynched in Alberta. They kind of started liking it too because we are rowdy and are free but play really good country music, I think that can rub off on people. Freedom is our message, it’s the sick who need a doctor...I didn’t want to be stuck in the left...I want to broaden my audience beyond that. So we shit talked capitalism right to the faces of the corporate elite and all they could do was buy us more whiskey and dance harder. All in all, I found that the left on the west coast was fragmented and dysfunctional. I find the right wing Albertan’s are sometimes friendlier than my fellow anarchists which is disturbing. Sectarianism and lack of strategy made every thing I tried to do in activism here painful. Eventually when I had a pile of criminal charges on me and I was looking at two years in prison and didn’t feel like I really was supported...I stepped back a little and tried to just fight my charges and not garner anymore attention. But in case you are wondering, I am very much still an outspoken anarchist. For the past five years I been playing by MY rules, nobodies politics and no record labels control me.

S: How do you feel about the Olympics coming here to Vancouver?

J: Fuck em. I’m outa here. I don’t want to live in a policestate. I can’t say anything good about it. Their should have been riots here when the IOC was inspecting Vancouver in March2003, that’s when the battle was ultimately lost. It’s good that people are pushing against the Olympics so that some minor reforms can happen...but the battle is heartbreakingly lost. Yuppification and modernization have won again.

S: Who are the bands that you are playing with on the 23rd?

J: MAMAGUROOVE from DUNSTER BRITISH COLUMBIA has been boogieingdown at festivals across British Columbia and Alberta for 5 years, yet have only ever played one show in Vancouver. They host the Robson Valley Music Festival on their property in Dunster every August. They paint themselves up, they play loud, and funky and are politically savvy music brought to you by their french fry oil bus. They are the NOMEANSNO of the psychedelic tribal funk world, off the hook and intenselyimaginative. myspace.com/mamaguroovewww.robsonvalleymusicfestivalbc.com TRAVELER from TEMPE ARIZONA is like a gypsy fusion heavy metalarabic roots music explosion. Featuring Scott Jeffers amazing knowledge of traditional eastern instrumentation and his mathematical band rocking behind him; they are also often accompanied by a fire eating belly dancer. Traveler stole the show at Robson Valley Music Fest last year and are back in Canada this year to play some of BC’s best festivals. The best part of Traveler for me is I get to be their bass player this summer.

Skinny: What body part do most people comment on? 

Joey: Could be my fuckin teeth, their crooked as a politician. Could be my sweet tats. I know Leah likes my chest a lot. I got eyes that change color like a chameleon. All in all, I think Ihave a great butt.

S: Do you have a personal favourite song and tell me about it?

J: If I had a favorite song I would probably stop writing. I keep believing each time I pick up a pen that I can do better than before. I’ve written 400 songs and more, many are now just scraps of paper with a tune I can vaguely recall. But I really like “ONE LAST SONG” lately, it always reminds me not to take things for granted because death comes like a thief in the night. I am becoming more honest and personal with my songwriting, I’ve lived a crazy life full of a lot of success but alot of pain. I’m still an underdog every where I go and a genuine adventurous punk rock country boy, these things fuel me in going forward.

S: Who do you get compared to most?

J: I been compared in the past to Woody Guthrie and Utah Philips alot...but I’ve continuously changed my approach. These days I hear more often that I’m a bad-ass version of Stompin Tom, maybe because our band is boot stomping country and we don’t sing about shit that happens in America. Of course, having a rare vocal range that can dip as low as Johnny Cash’s keeps people demanding I play his songs at every show. Music was always my thing. But until 2005 I never believed anyone would pay me for my songs. I thought I was destined to keep traveling around by thumb and playing at protests hoping to inspire something to happen in the world. I didn’t believe in myself back then, I had no direction in life and was very lonely. All I knew is I couldn’t sit inside playing away in the basement, I had to bring the songs somewhere. In the depths of my depression, which nearly killed me, the one point of optimism that never vanished was just that.If I kept playing music someday something would be forced to happen, that strange belief saved my life and gave me purpose.

Skinny: Thanks Joey. 

Traveler, Mamaguroove, Joey Only @ Rickshaw Theatre 254 East Hastings $10
Sunday, December 06, 2009 
JOEY ONLY 'TALKIN 2010 ARMAGEDDON' AT SOLSTICE CAFE, NOV 7, 09. (This also was TEMPESTS LAST SHOW ON EARTH, she changed two of my guitar strings that night and can be seen dancing throughout the night)
..
GREYHOUNDING GUITAR MAN & MIDWEST FESTIVAL
..
SOBIBOR/STALINGRAD
..
FREE STORE - TEMPESTS FAVOURITE SONG
..
THE GHETTO BIRDZ - TEMPEST CHANGES THE BROKEN STRING
..
OUR HOME ON STOLEN LAND
..

Thursday, November 19, 2009 
Just happened today!!!  OUR CLOSE FRIEND TEMPEST!!!!!  WE JUST PLAYED A SHOW TOGETHER LAST WEEK IN VICTORIA, HAD BREAKFAST TOGETHER THE NEXT DAY!  THIS IS TERRIBLE FUCKING SHIT!!!!  WE WERE SO HAPPY HANGING OUT THAT MORNING....HOW TERRIBLE!!! 

ANYBODY WHO HEARS ANYTHING..PLEASE CONTACT ME!!!!!
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Hornby Island "folk-punk" musician dies suddenly, foul play not ruled out
 
 
Vancouver SunNovember 18, 2009 5:18 PMBe the first to post a comment
 
 

    * Story
    * Photos ( 4 )

 
Tempest Grace Gale, 25, died suddenly on Hornby Island
 
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Tempest Grace Gale, 25, died suddenly on Hornby Island
Photograph by: ..., myspace

A "well known and loved" musician and poet on Hornby Island died Wednesday, announced Comox Valley RCMP.

Police said in a statement Tempest Grace Gale, 25, died suddenly on the island and a "person of interest" has been taken to the detachment.

RCMP said foul play has not been ruled out and a number of people have been sought to speak with police.

Gale described her music as "folk-punk" on her myspace page and recently performed at the Dancing on the Edge festival.

The investigation is in its early stages, RCMP said.

Her MySpace bio referred to the singer/poet as "an artistic maelstrom whose expression is as multifaceted as her origins. Currently arising from the dripping shore of the notorious yet veiled Hornby Island, she brews a vociferous fervor which has swept her from coast to coast."
© Copyright (c) The Vancouver Sun



----

Residents of the close-knit community of Hornby Island are grieving after the mysterious death at the marina early Wednesday of a well-loved, free-spirited 25-year-old performance artist.
The RCMP said it had not ruled out foul play in the death of Tempest (Pest) Grace Gale. She was a gardener, musician, poet, unicyclist, and stilt-walker.
The death was “sudden” and a “person of interest” was at the RCMP detachment in Comox Valley, the RCMP said in a news release. If the death turns out to be murder, residents said it would be the first since Europeans settled on this idyllic island, inhabited by just over 1,000 eco-friendly, peace-loving residents.
Locals say Gale’s body was found at the Ford’s Cove Marina, where she lived on a boat, either alone, or with her boyfriend, Steph Desjardins. Residents of the island said Gale’s parents, Mike and Jazzmyre Gale, lived on a boat in the same marina.
Matthew Fredbeck, who owns Ford’s Cove Marina and lives 500 feet from the dock, said he was awoken by screams from Michael Gale, the father of Tempest Gale, at 7:45 a.m. Wednesday.
“The father was screaming at the top of his lungs from the dock, going on and on and on, ‘Murder! Murder! My daughter! My daughter!’” Fredbeck said. “It was a horrible thing.”
Fredbeck said he ran to the dock.
“The scene on the dock was, there she was, Pest,” Fredbeck said. “The boyfriend had found her, and she was dead. The father was screaming, and it was a horrible thing.”
By 9 a.m., police helicopters had arrived and police dogs sniffed along the beach, Fredbeck said.
“They are really looking for anything and everything to try to piece this together,” he said.
“Everybody loves her,” said Fredbeck, who has known Gale for four years.
“Of all the people for this to happen to, it’s this person that the community really loves,” Fredbeck said. “Because of that, for a lot of people on the island, it’s like losing a member of your own family.”
He said the island opened a community hall for people to drop in and share their memories of her.
“Sometimes I just sit and cry,” Fredbeck said. “I’m just trying to get by.”
George Buyver, a 35-year resident of the island, said he tried to comfort Gale’s parents and her boyfriend, a Quebecois who moved to the island and works as a carpenter.
Residents said a man who used to attend a now-closed centre for troubled youth on the island had been threatening Gale’s parents.
On Tuesday night, the evening before the death, the parents felt so threatened that they stayed at the home of a friend, Buyver said.
Buyver said that on Wednesday, the parents told him they were concerned for their safety. “They said they were afraid of him,” Buyver said.
He said he tried to comfort Gale’s parent and her boyfriend.
The boyfriend didn’t want to believe the death was murder.
“His belief that he wanted to believe for sure was that it was an accident and she fell,” Buyver said. “He certainly didn’t want to believe that there was an evilness out there that actually wanted to murder her.
“That’s an emotional response. Certainly he just didn’t want to believe that of his best friend. ... They’ve been together quite a long time.”
But Gale’s father said he believed his daughter was murdered, Buyver said.
“It’s a father who just lost his only daughter,” Buyver said.
He said the man on the dock worried the parents.
“They were all concerned about him, and then she shows up dead on the dock,” Buyver said. “It’s hit the island pretty hard,” he said.
“She’s a kid who grew up here and is well-liked, and the family is part of the island.”
Residents said if the person of interest had been found on the island soon after the death while tempers were flaring, some might have turned to vigilante justice.
But locals also emphasized that it was not known yet if the death was a murder and that if it turns out to be murder, any suspect should be given a fair trial based on the evidence.
Bob Sarti, who has lived on the island for three years, said few young people live on Hornby and Gale was well-respected, especially among the younger generation.
Sarti last saw Gale perform at a bluff on the island as part of Hornby Island’s participation at 350, a worldwide event to push governments to act on climate change.
“She performed there on the beach and gave a very heartfelt plea,” Sarti said.
“Everybody is very upset and shocked,” he said. “They’re talking in small groups at the hall and at the store. Nothing like this has ever happened before.”
rdalton@vancouversun.com

Friday, November 06, 2009 
Every Friday at 10:30-NOON
on Co-op Radio, 102.7FM Vancouver
or online at www.coopradio.org


THEME SONG
Jerry Reed (USA)- when yer hot yer hot

---------------
Greg Cockerill - bad night for rock and roll
Neil Young - Needle and the Damage Done
The Re-mains (Aus) - tequila and methadone
Blackberry Wood - Devil Lost His Hate

Joanna Chapman Smith - arbitrary lines
Gordie Tentrees - underpaid
Shiloh Lindsay - 16 shells from a 30 ought six

Jeff Andrew - Cambie and Cordova
Yael Wand - Silver and Gold
Fred Eaglesmith - sweet corn
Davey Lee Goode - Last Train Home
Foggy Hogtown Boys - Bluegrass Breakdown
Little Miss Higgins - dirty ole tractor song

Geoff Berner - Weep Bride Weep
Sumner Brothers - girl in the window
Bruce Springsteen (USA) - jesse james
Pete Seeger (USA) - talkin union

Steve Coffey - contradict
Brooke Wylie - I'm Not Gonna Cry
Smokin 45s - freight train boogie

Kent McCallister - Memory Replacer
Kent McCallister - circumstantial blues
Dana Lyons - cows with guns




Thursday, November 05, 2009 


Upcoming Shows/Tour Dates



November 21: The Royal, Nelson, BC

November 24/25: The Rose & Crown, Banff, AB

November 26: Auditorium Hotel, Nanton, AB

November 27: The Palomino, Calgary, AB

November 28: Ironwood Stage & Grill, Calgary, AB (w/ Steve Coffey & The Lokels)




WEBSITE/CONTACT INFO




Rootin' and Tootin' Across Alberta and BC...
The Outlaws are back by popular demand between Vancouver and Calgary this November! This merry band of country-punk anarchist outlaws are a guaranteed good time and impressive live act. Don't miss them as they head from the west Kootenays to the prairies of Alberta. CONTACT MODMAY PROMOTIONS FOR INTERVIEW OPPORTUNITIES OR TO RECEIVE UNRELEASED JOEY ONLY OUTLAW BAND MP3'S!!

Nobody owns Joey Only. He plays by his own rules and works for everything he has. At just 30 years old he's traveled Canada relentlessly as a musician since 1996, playing 500 shows of his own songs since 2001. Prolific as both a songwriter and musical and social activist, Joey Only's biography reads like a list of immeasurable feats. This year he has just concluded recording his next album "Transgression Trail" with producer Corwin Fox and the rest of the Outlaws, set for release in early 2010. 2009 has also seen Joey tour with and open for Australia's alt-country band The Re-Mains all over BC and Alberta, and through July Joey also played bass for Arizona's amazing world music band Traveler when they came to Canada, in addition to his own shows and recording his next smack-in-the-face album.

Joey plays a mean solo show but obviously, has a band called Joey Only Outlaw Band, consisting of Leah Martin, (vox), Mike Zinger (slide/banjo/guitar), Jeff Andrew (Fiddle), Justine Fischer (bass), Kenan Sungur (drums) and Rowan Lipkovits (squeezebox). He's a regular contributor to BC Musician Magazine and has hosted Sound Resistance on Vancouver's Co-op Radio Station CFRO 102.7FM since 2003. Best known as a songwriter and guitarist Joey also moonlights as a studio musician capable of playing pedal steel guitar, percussion, upright or electric bass, harmonica and all manner of vocal arrangements. He's played with or been billed alongside such greats as Geoff Berner, Washboard Hank, Lance Loree, Po'Girl, Leslie Alexander, Kinnie Starr, and CR Avery.

Joey Only has climbed over 70 mountains, is an experienced wilderness guide, has chased tornadoes, been struck by lightning, nearly died of TB, had vocal surgery, smashed his face, been lost in the barrens, and incarcerated. He was publicly deemed a terrorist by the Victoria BC police, has been an activist for over 10 years, hitchhiked 30,000km, released four albums, failed out of University, and fought a mother bear. Joey is pro-cannabis advocate, a downtown eastside Vancouver healthcare worker, and still thinks the Leafs will win the Cup any day now.

"An anarchist sort of Stomping Tom Connors"
Bob Nixon, Canada Now, CBC News
"The voice of the movement"
Dr. Heidi Rimke PHD, University of Winnipeg
"In our humble opinion he might be the next Utah Philips"
16th Annual Under the Volcano Programme
"Joining Washboard Hank is Vancouver's own Joey Only; that is if the pig magnet doesn't get arrested on the way to the show."
Georgia Straight 'Straight Choices' section Oct 2006

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 




A NIGHT OF JAMMING AND MUSIC AT:

THE PRINCETON PUB - Vancouver BC
Saturday October 24th, 9PM, $7

Joey Only Outlaw Band
Pernell Reichert Band
The Planes

Alt-folk, alt-country, finger picking, slide playing, foot stomping,
razor sharp folk for the road

www.pernell.ca
www.joeyonly.com
Monday, October 12, 2009 

Current mood:  bummed

 I first met punk rock Tom at Woodwards Squat in 2002...he was only 15 and on the streets of Vancouver.  This is a picture of him with officer Dave Dickinson of the VPD.  Dave had been a Downtown Eastside beat-cop since 1980 and retired in 2007.  Despite obvious differences of opinion Dave and I would have, it is interesting that after his retirement from te police he started working for a shelter.  He's posing with Tom here who in all his 15 year old rebellion was actually making fun of Dave.  That was just the start of a long and crazy journey for Tom.  We took another squat...and were evicted by the cops again...

The photo was taken by Aaron Vidavor who published the Woodsquat Book, a book which featured Punk Rock Tom and is still available at Spartacus Books in Vancouver.

Tom passed on September 3rd, 2009 at the age of 23.  It's a heart breaking story, I wish it weren't true.  Just when I thought years of working in the Downtown Eastside had hardened my heart to these sorta things.  This year alone I've seen so many pass on, including my legendary punk rock friend Warren Spider Hastings at the age of 73.  So I am trying harder to appreciate the friends I have left, many of whom I so rarely see.  Keep in touch all...love joey

Tuesday, September 15, 2009 

Current mood:  angry
BC MUSICIANS MUST GET ANGRIER
by Dr.Joey Only


It was September 2008 when the Stephen Harper Federal Conservative Government cut $45 million from the Arts.  Artists in Montreal organized demonstrations of more than 2500 people.  But in BC there were no protests, no rage, no riots...nothing to defend ourselves against the most contemptuous government in Canuck history.

"You know, I think when ordinary, working people come home, turn on the TV and see … a bunch of people at a rich gala all subsidized by the taxpayers, claiming their subsidies aren't high enough when they know the subsidies have actually gone up, I'm not sure that's something that resonates with ordinary people," Prime Minister Stephen Harper using his forked and lyig tongue to defend $45 million in cuts to the arts. 

Funny as it is, when I turn on the TV and see publicly funded gala's it isn't usually artsists that are at the table...it's most often Harper himself and his Tory cronies dining on $250 bottles of wine.  Harper's contempt for 'socialists' and 'seperatists' and whoever isn't compliant in his failing neo-conservative revolution is impossible to ignore.  His contempt for artists is worrysome.  Even Hitler supported the arts!!

You are under attack financially and spiritually from the right wing!  Your enemies are gathering power and working against you, yet your art is devoid of politics or social commentary.  You are being hacked and slashed to death yet you paint bowls of Okanagan fruit and sing songs about hippy-birds.  You live amongst the working class yet have nothing to say in its defence.  You are a working artist on the brink of extinction with no cleverly crafted words of judgment or anger...some of you believe that you would be practicing negativity if you delved into politics...or even that people wouldn't like your art.

In offering no battle BC artists proved themselves to be an easy target and a weak foe.  Perhaps that was on Premier Gordon Campbell's mind when he enacted a $77 million cut to arts this past August.  It was truly a cut aimed at making the Olympic budget work.  There were some protests, but there is no movement!

It was a cut that they rammed through in the most mean-spirited, distasteful and disrespectful of ways, it was slashed right from under the feet of organizations that BC artists rely on in remote communities.  For example Island Mountain Arts in Wells BC, the organization responsible for the ARTSWELLS FESTIVAL, had $22,000 cut from its operating budget.  That cut was retroactive to this years budget, so in other words somebody at IMA has just found their salary is not in the bank!  It's not just a cut, it's a complete slap in their face from a provincial government who promised not to cut the arts during the last election. 

I may be the only artist to never have accepted a government grant of any sort.  I have seen that when you work with the system it's only a matter of time before they screw you over.  I've never applied to Factor for a recording grant, I've never accepted money from a record label.  I own my words and use them to say what I want.

What I want to say is this: you as artists have a responsibility to speak on behalf of the people.  Call that politics or call that community, I don't care what you call it....do it!

Where is your anti-Olympic rage?  Where is your self defence?  Where is your passion?  This a-political province of artists has allowed itself to see its grants, budgets and resources stolen and given to the Olympic elite.  As Geoff Berner's newest anti-Olympic song sez, 'the dead dead artists were worth it.'

Saturday, September 12, 2009 
the First Annual Taste of the Cariboo Local Food Festival
Saturday, October 3rd from 12PM-4PM

!!!Celebrating farming in the Cariboo and the goodness of this years harvest!!!

$10 for a delectable meal prepared by:
The Blue Spoon and The Gecko Tree,
made with local meat and veggies.

LIVE MUSIC IN THE PARK
Big Twang Daddy
Wingdam Ramblers
Laurie Lemke and the Silver Steel
Joey Only Outlaw Band

later on that evening..............

WHEN:   Doors open @ 9pm
WHERE: Blue Spoon Catering
WHO:  Joey Only Outlaw Band
MUCH: $15
Friday, September 11, 2009 

Stephen Harper...a true bully...a neo-conservative...a pro-war lunatic that embodies only the most disturbing and ultra right wing values Canada has to offer.  The man who cut funding to the arts program while speaking behind closed doors of his contempt 'for leftist' artists who prance around 'at fancy galas and balls on t.v.'

So full of deceipt, everywhere he turns he sees enemies.

Rid the country of this man at any cost.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 

Current mood:  cynical
Subscribe to my blog postings or you are a nazi!!  Here's a fun series of observations on coffee, drug addiction, homelessness and the meaninglessness of Vancouver as a society on the whole...from a lowly social worker on the front lines of the poorest postal code in Canada.


WHAT THE HELL IS GHETTO COFFEE ANYWAY
social analysis by Doctor Joey Only


Vancouver is one fuckin arrogant town man, and it's arrogant about the most trivial things in the entire Milky Way Galaxy!

I can see the archeologist in my imagination right now...in like a thousand years they'll be digging up Vancouverites and analyzing the 'mocha-frappa-who-gives-a-fuckinos' in the skeletal hands as they dub the present the 'enlightened java period'.

Yes, in all but one neighbourhood in the city of Vancouver the coffee is enjoyably great..perhaps tied with Montreal for best in the country.  The main distinctions being European style vs. corporate black soup, joints accompanying the beverage instead of cigarettes and yuppie arrogance vs. bitter frenchness during the morning talks.

My first coffee on Commercial Drive was in 2002, that was the day I was school properly in coffee linguistics  As an Ontario refugee I knew not that a 'double double' was a term unique to the Tim Hortons franchise.  The barista stared at me blankly as if I were speaking swahili or something...Looking at the list of 400 different coffee's whose names I could barely pronounce I was compelled to say...'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL A NORMAL FUCKING COFFEE?'

An Americano I was told...jesus...so much America everywhere.

The main thing I am getting to is that Vancouver actually has pretty good coffee...unless you are poor and live in the Downtown Eastside!  Poor and homeless folk get this black shit that's brewed in an 80 cup tank...then at the very end they dump 200 pounds of sugar and 100 pounds of creamer in the tank and everyone gets the same miserable shit to drink...and drink it they do...15 cups if you let them.  They'll complain about it, but keep drinking it...and when the day comes that you didn't brew it...the screaming and moaning is let loose!

But either way, everyone in Vancouver is addicted to coffee...Starbucks or Ghetto coffee...it don't matter...people live to drink the shit. 

And I am always surprised to see that 60% of the residents in the Downtown Eastside (DTES) are awake at 7:30AM and drinking this shit.  Outsiders look at the poor in the DTES and call them lazy, yet the same people will sleep till noon any day they don't have to work...and the binners are already up collecting cans and others are lining up to get soup and others are lining up to get methadone.  These are dysfunctional people...they are not lazy.

The average yuppie goes to work and pushes computer buttons all day after driving to work...then call people who are on their feet all day long lazy.  Laziness is not why the DTES peeps are poor!  A certain percentage are schizophrenic, others physically broken...and some others are addicts...yes...addicted to drugs.  A certain percentage of these addicts I seen line up for coffee this morning are awake because the speed and meth and crack has kept them awake all night.

Yup, 'just three sleeps till x-mas' I heard the meth head say on labour day.

Meanwhile the other yuppies and parasites (professionals they like to call themselves)  are looking down their noses at those they see drinking the ghetto coffee they got at InSite of First United Church or the Portland Hotel or wherever...it's all the same coffee in every social services place.  The yuppies look down their nose as they tilt the fuckin Starbucks coffee up.

But you know what...Starbucks is a drug...and these days most yuppies don't look out the bus window to see the addicts on Hastings because they got the I-Fad and Crackberry in their hands watching all their favorite television programs...and they get to the office where sugary sweet donuts await to help them plod through their equally meaningless and useles jobs (in the cosmic scheme of things) so they can get through the day...go home and drink themselves into a legal stupor so they can sleep at 11PM and get up to relive the same ridiculous and fucking mundane job!

...Well...maybe the yuppie will get lucky tomorrow and get a nice whore or rent some Brazillian Fart Porn...or even use a little cocaine to help them get through the day.

You see...whether you wind up in life drinking Starbucks or Ghetto Coffee had nothing to do with addictions.  Everyone is an addict...addicted to coffee or smokes or porn or Jesus or beating their kids...or all the above!

You just get the Ghetto Coffee if you are too dysfunctional to give a fuck about the stupid games everyone is playing...to dysfunctional to join a society whose goals are based on fantasy or misunderstandings of reality.  You get the Starbucks if you are too stupid to quit your job where you go everyday to make some other asshole richer while you get fat at your desk eating donuts.

All in all..I work my union job in the ghetto so I can afford anything other than the ghetto coffee I once drank when I was poor and homeless...I hated it back then too. 

But when my 12 hour shift ended at 10AM this morning I didn't want a coffee of any kind...I just wanted morphine!