Now what
.. ..
I let my heart go somewhere it shouldn’t have....
Now I don’t know what to do....
You can never plan for the unexpected....
It only hits you out of the blue....
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You can try to fight it....
Say it’s only infatuation....
It was only something you needed at the moment....
Just a little satisfaction....
.. ..
You know you are lying to yourself....
And it didn’t happen overnight....
You know it’s not suppose to happen....
That it’s anything but right....
.. ..
So how do you explain it?....
How do you come to terms with what’s happened....
You’ve made your choice and it’s at everyone’s expense....
One part of you is relieved and the other is deeply saddened....
.. ..
Timing isn’t right, nothing is secure....
Your position in life is as confused as his....
But you recognize what has happened and know....
What is there to miss?....
.. ..
You keep at arms’ length and push one another away....
Time away is the only way to not jump so fast....
But what if time causes it to ache even more....
Wanting and needing even more with the time past....
.. ..
You are both scared to death....
Because you both know how badly it could go wrong....
But with each day, each night, every conversation....
The feeling you are fighting is only growing stronger....
.. ..
You feel the need to run....
But you only want to wrap around them once more....
You lay there knowing this should be the last time....
But never seeing them again makes your heart feel torn....
.. ..
So what do you do?....
How do you make sense of it all?....
This was supposed to go slow and be fun....
No one was expecting to fall....
.. ..
If you have to remind yourself daily ....
As to what this is ....
Then maybe you need to step back and realize....
What it already is....
.. ..
So you didn’t plan for it or expect it....
Does that mean that it wasn’t meant to be?....
Or is there a higher power taking control....
And giving you a gift that you need to open your eyes and see....
.. ..
If you have to struggle within ....
To keep from feeling something that is there....
Maybe for once you should let go and give in....
And to your own feelings become aware....
.. ..
Let it happen....
See where this road is going to take you....
It may be the very best ride of your life....
It may just be the one that was meant to be true....
.. ..
~~MDC~~212009....