Hey Guys,

We are excited to announce SocialVibe's Givapalooza and your chance to help us win $20K for IMAlive, the first live peer-to-peer suicide prevention service (for more info, click here). Givapalooza is a month-long competition for 10 charities on SocialVibe.com to compete and reach their goal before another one does. If the goal is reached by December 31st, SocialVibe will double the donation amount. On top of that, SocialVibe will be donating to the teams who reach their goals first. This is a chance to win $20,000 through SocialVibe this month and we've asked for a little help. Our friends in Boys Like Girls are on board to help us win. This is where you come in.

Our goal is reached by completed activities on our SocialVibe.com page. The more activities you complete, the more points you get, the quicker we make it to our goal! You can do anything from telling HTC what makes you unique, to writing a letter of encouragement to the women of Dress for Success. We promise it's that easy : )

Go to socialvibe.com/towriteloveonherarms now to start completing activities and help us win $20K for IMAlive!

Thanks for being part of this,
Chris

PS: Facebook users, if you want to help a little more, you can vote for us in Chase Community Giving for $25,000! Become a fan of Chase Community Giving and vote for us here.

PS2: We're also up for Mashable's Open Web Awards for the "Best Non-Profit Use of Social Media" and it only takes one click to vote : )

Hey Guys.

First off, Happy Thanksgiving!! We are thankful for you, for your incredible support and certainly for your story. We hope today finds you surrounded by good people and good food. 

HEAVY AND LIGHT tickets are now available via Ticketmaster: HERE

(We're not sure why they spelled "Heavy" wrong and forgot to mention Mat Kearney)

We hope to see you Saturday, January 9 at House of Blues Orlando. It will once again be an evening of songs, conversation and hope. Music by:
Mat Kearney
Aaron Gillespie of Underoath / The Almost
Bryce Avary of The Rocket Summer
Stephen Christian of Anberlin
Aaron Marsh of Copeland
Zach Williams
Damion Suomi
and introducing...
Anis Mojgani (find him on YouTube = amazing)

Have a great day!!
jamie

PS: We posted a new blog and video late last night. In case you haven't heard, there's a big story on TWLOHA in the new issue of Rolling Stone. It is far from perfect but hopefully it's good. (The video is definitely good) We would love to know your thoughts...

Hey Guys,

If you find yourself on page 63 of the new Rolling Stone Magazine (Taylor Lautner of Twilight is on the cover), you will find the first of five pages dedicated to TWLOHA. It's an honor and exciting to say the least. That said, i must confess that i found the title a little awkward. (i am a surfer, i'm not a savior.) The story is not perfect but hopefully it's good.

When they said they wanted to photograph me in New York City, i asked if it might be okay to invite some friends. TWLOHA supporters came to Washington Square Park in NYC from as far away as Toronto, Virginia and Delaware. My hope was a photo that expressed the community and "we" spirit of TWLOHA. They went with something different but the video below captures the true spirit of the day - stories colliding and hope shared, people coming together... Thank you once again to our talented friend Dustin Miller for making this video and thank you to Rolling Stone for liking it enough to post it on their website.



Peace to you tonight.

jamie

PS: We've been working hard this week, adding to twloha.com. We've added FINANCES and STAFF sections, and updated NEWS and MOVE.

PS2: We would love to know your thoughts...

I guess some would say that I have been through a tragedy.  I say that I've been through a life-changing experience and that it has made me a better person.  I don’t like that T word - it's pretty harsh.  When Zeke died, I thought my life had ended.  In some ways it had.  I went through a whirlwind of emotions, some that I can’t even remember.  I had so many questions;  What did I do wrong?  What was he thinking?  why did he leave me?  Someone once told me that people that complete suicide are selfish - I’m not sure I agree.  Once someone is gone, it is easy to contemplate what they were thinking, and only think about the mess they left you with, and the struggles ahead.  But isn’t that selfish?  I mean this person just took their own life - I can’t imagine how they came to that conclusion, but I can only believe and hope it was not an easy one.  I quickly learned that I was the selfish one......I was so obsessed with why he chose to do this to me, but soon realized that he did this to himself; it was not about me.  That is hard to accept.  

When I talked to friends or family, they always told me “I know how you feel.”  Those words used to make me so angry. How did they know? They weren’t in my head, they didn’t find him in this horrible state, they didn’t lose the love of their life. They were able to go home at night. I had to go anywhere but home.  I began to get so bummed about that answer to my thoughts, I realized I needed help understanding the emotions I was going through.  I started seeing a therapist that helped me learn that everything I was experiencing was “normal.”  She told me that only I would know how to push through the sadness and learn how to grow.  Sometimes when I went to see her we never even talked about Zeke.  We would talk about the most random things - shopping, wine, going to the gym, work and sometimes the news.  At one of our meetings she said “I’m not going to let you avoid the subject, we need to talk about him.”  It was the first time that I broke down crying in front of anyone.  I’m not one that usually feels comfortable crying.  I don’t like people to see me that way.  I was surprised by my reaction, but I felt so much better.  I guess that sometimes when you keep things bottled up, those feelings can come out even stronger than ever.  I’m glad that it happened with her; she helped me open up and finally speak about what was going on in my head.

It is coming up on the anniversary of Zeke’s death, and I’m not sure what I will do.  I used to hang with friends and take way too many shots of tequila.  Probably over the past month, I have realized that I am drinking way too much.  I think I drink to hide my pain; I still miss him.  Wow, that is the first time I have admitted that.  At first I used to sleep with one of his dirty tee shirts so that I could have his scent with me; it helped me a bunch.  Then the smell went away.  After that I would drink to sleep.  The only way I could fall asleep was if I just passed out drunk.  It really wasn’t until lately that I thought I had a purpose without him.  It has taken me awhile to realize that.  Zeke inspired me to be creative.  We used to bounce off of each other's artistic abilities.  It was so funny when we would be getting ready to go out for an evening and we would be “that couple,” the ones that were dressed alike.  I used to tell him he had to back and change.  I used to paint, write, build, and design.  After his death, I had a hard time even picking up a paint brush, I didn’t know how to hold it in my hand.  Now I am slowly learning to keep his spirit in my heart, and create again.  I started writing down plans, sketching furniture, and painting pictures.  I used to be so on-the-go and not have time for anything, but now I am slowing down and doing things that are more fulfilling in my life.  So, I think that this January 5th, I am going to finish my projects I have started.  I am building a window seat box out of what used to be our bed, Zeke had built us a platform bed.  I will have it filled with his stuff and have a special place for me to sit and think about him, and be inspired.  I think I finally have been able to re-focus my energy into how to be happy, how to be me, without him.  I probably will stick to one of my rituals, visiting him at 1st street; bringing him a sunflower, and telling him I love him.   Then I will go back home and pick up my paint brush......I think I know how again.

- Nicole Orsargos

i was in Virginia Thursday to speak at Old Dominion University in Norfolk. i got in early and had the chance to spend a few hours with my friend Nicole. Well, she feels like a friend now but the truth is i'd never met her before Thursday. Some of you have heard me talk or write about my friend Zeke, who died by suicide in January 2006. Zeke and i worked together at Hurley. Well, Zeke lived in Virginia Beach and Nicole was his girlfriend of more than three years when he died. She was the one who found him.

i'd traded emails with Nicole in recent weeks but never met her in person. We met for lunch on Thursday. i told her i wanted to eat where the locals eat and so she suggested a place by the Inlet. i pulled up a few minutes before her and the first thing i noticed was the word "Zeke" spray-painted on a wall near the restaurant's entrance. Zeke died over three and a half years ago and yet it was clear in that first moment that he has not been forgotten. 

As we ate, i asked Nicole a lot of questions about Zeke. He was good at everything. We smiled at the stories. She spoke of his quiet pain, unknown to most. i asked about the days since he died, how has she recovered, how has she survived... She spoke with strength and grace.  She said she's different now, doesn't buy "busy" as a way of life, says she's learned to slow down, to pause for the things that matter, for people and moments and conversations. She talked about her incredible friends and about going to counseling.

After lunch, i asked if she might show me around town - show me the places that were Zeke's, help me know his story. She said she would be happy to. We stood on the boardwalk at First Street, watching the cold waves break - Zeke was a great surfer and this was his. She pointed to the plaque on the end of the jetty, placed in the silence of the night, Zeke's friends saying his memory would stay with them always.

She explained Virginia Beach, the surf shops and the bars and the characters that make it. She showed me the house that they shared. "We built a home together," she told me. 

That night, Nicole joined me on stage at Old Dominion, and for the first time ever, she spoke her story into a microphone. It was incredibly brave. Afterwards, people lined up to meet her, to thank her, to share what they found in her words. 

As we stood in the parking lot at the end of the night, she told me she was blown away, by the confessions that she heard, so many young people sharing their stories. i thanked her, said her words had been a gift for all of us in the room, encouraged her to keep sharing them.  She said she would like that.

i wish i could bring him back, this man she loved, this friend to so many... But the weight of suicide is it's permanence. Each of us, we are thousands of moments and choices and days. Zeke walked away from all of it that night in January.

We are left with the questions, with the weight of all the memories. The only sense that i can make of it is that Nicole now has a story to tell, that her words serve as a gift to other people, her scars suggesting that they are not alone in their wounds, not alone in their remembering...

Today is National Survivors of Suicide Day. If you've lost someone that you love, then we stand with you today. We say it matters, their story and yours, and we join you to remember. Please know that you are not alone.

To learn more about National Survivors of Suicide Day, please CLICK HERE.

Peace to you today.

jamie

PS: i wrote this a couple days after Zeke died, in January 2006...

Zeke Sanders: You Were Loved.

"I didn't know him well but this is what i knew: Zeke Sanders was hilarious and kind, small and huge in the same moment. He was humility and rock star, fashion and fishing, alive and encouraging and broken and hopeful and a thousand other things i'll never know. He was simple and complex. He was my friend. Something hopeful in me says he knows now how much he was loved. We will miss his smile, his laughter, his kindness, his tiny jeans and enormous shoes, made for wrestling. We will miss him tomorrow night when we set up, Sunday when we tear down, and Monday morning at Ian's, when it's too quiet. i don't know what else to say. i just have to believe that we are all more loved than we'll ever know. And we're all in this together..."

Steven Smith of Fuse talks storytelling, branding, technology, touring and more with TWLOHA's Jamie Tworkowski, Charity:Water's Phillip Crosby and Invisible Children's Alex Collins during CMJ 2009 in NYC. Zach Williams brings the music.

Hey Guys,

The mtvU Woodie Awards are tonight in NYC, a couple hours from now. Some of my favorite bands are nominated - Death Cab for Cutie, Kings of Leon, Phoenix... Ben Gibbard, Zoey Deschanel, Jack White and Pete Wentz will be in the room... 

The Woodie Awards are for "artists", which typically means "musicians." Somehow, i'm nominated for the "Good Woodie" award. And since i don't have any songs, it's hard to know how this happened or how it's even allowed. Well, actually, i do know - it's you. It's been our story all along. Your passion, your voice - it's a powerful thing. It can build and move, it can opens doors.

Just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for voting, but more, thanks for caring. Thanks for helping us invite people to live a better story. Thanks for helping us introduce people to hope and help and to the possibility that they were never meant to live alone. Thanks for helping us push back at the stigma that says depression and addiction are things we can't talk about. 

TWLOHA is a story that i'm proud to be part of. The best stories are the ones that surprise you and inspire you to change. Thanks for all you do to make ours that sort of story. It's my honor to represent you at the Woodie Awards tonight, to get to be there on behalf of people who struggle and people who care. 

Since i'm the only nominee who doesn't have any songs, MTV let me pick out the song for my nomination video. i gave it a lot of thought and ended up choosing Switchfoot's "Needle and Haystack Life" from their new album "Hello Hurricane." i'll leave you with a lyric from that song:

"No, don't let go
Don't give up hope
All is forgiven
You breathe it in
The highs and lows
We call it living

All is not lost
All is not lost
Become who you are
It happens once in a lifetime"

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: You can watch the Woodie Awards on  Friday, December 4 at 10pm EST on MTV, MTV2, mtvU and Palladia.

December 4th and 5th we will be bringing MOVE to Toronto, ON and we would like to invite you to be a part of it. Our MOVE community conferences are two day events where we look more in depth at some of the issues TWLOHA addresses. It is an effort to begin a conversation that battles stigma and shame with honesty and compassion. Led by professional counselors Aaron and Michelle Moore and some of the TWLOHA staff, attendees will gain a better understanding of what is behind these struggles, what drives them, what recovery looks like and how we can make a difference. Our hope is that you leave encouraged, inspired, and informed. MOVE conferences are done in a limited size, allowing for difficult topics to be presented and discussed in a personal setting which lends to more dynamic interaction between participants and staff. It has been this interaction and format that has made the MOVE conferences impacting for those who have attended. We would love for you to come and join us!

Click here for more info on registration.



PS: We're still looking for a few guy interns for the spring term. If you're interested in applying, click here for more info.

As many of you know, the Pick Up The Phone Tour with Blue October was canceled just before it was scheduled to begin. While en route to the press conference on Capitol Hill in DC, Justin Furstenfeld of Blue October had to seek medical attention due to an anxiety attack. A lot went through our heads in those first few moments, but above everything else, our hearts and sympathies went with Justin in the weight of his decision to seek help. We could not have been more proud of his vulnerability and we reflected on how this was a "teachable moment;" driving home the fact that you simply can't choose when and how mental health issues will affect you. That being said, Justin was brave enough to ask for help and seek the attention that he needed.

Now, a few weeks later, we have exciting news: Blue October has decided to perform on the last two dates of the tour...again, a "teachable moment" that help is real and the human spirit is resilient. On November 20th and 21st, the Pick Up The Phone Tour will be at Stubb's in Austin, Texas and we would love to see you there! Tickets are on sale at PUTP.org and shirts are still available at our online store. Thank you again to everyone who has helped support the tour and spread hope in your communities.

See you in Austin,
Chad