-i can't wait for new bayside album
-i can't wait for new falloutboy album
-i can't wait for new academy album
-i can't wiat for new brand new album
-i can't wait for february break
-i can't wait until 2sweet comes to tour in the winter
-i can't wait until fob goes on tour again

all in all with everything that has gone on in my life in 2006, it's been a good year.
this has definitely been the most difficult year i've had to experience so far. and even with all of the hardships, and obstacles and bullshit that i went through, i don't think i would change it at all.
i've met the most wonderful people this year, who've become the most important people in my life. i've gotten to spend hours and hours with my best friends, regardless of the fact that we live all over the country. we're the luckiest kids alive.
i've lost some people but i've gained something much greater. everyone who is in my life right now, you all mean the absolute world to me - and i hope you all know that.
i'm really happy with where i am right now. that is the first time i've been able to say that in very long time. i'm happy with the people i keep close to me, i'm happy with my relationships with people, and i'm overall just proud of myself.
i think i just needed to get out in writing how good things are right now so i can take some time to think back about the great things that's happened this year and all of the wonderful things i've experienced and all of the wonderful people that care about me.

i really owe a lot to a certain group of people. our friendship tore up some of my old friendships, and in the end i've realized that if it wasn't you guys that "did it" it would have been someone else. i guess i could never pick my friends well, until now. 1337, you guys mean so much to me. you are the ones i've been able to come to for the past year [our anniversary is sunday. holy shit.] and you've been the only consistant understanding people in my life through this time. i really just want to thank you all for everything you've given me. all twenty of you mean more to me than words could ever say. thank you for saving me, and i'm excited to see what the new year brings for us. true fucking love.

vicky and ashley. i don't know what i'd do without you girls. you keep me sane, and you keep me laughing and we're pretty much the craziest. i don't know where i would be without you girls and i'm so thankful for both of you all the time. i wish we all saw eachother more often, but i have a feeling that will soon change. you've been constant support since the beginning and i can't thank you enough.

thomas. i don't even know what to say about you kid. you know of every feeling i have about you. you are one of my best friends, and a constant source of oxygen. our relationship may be pretty fucked up, but i don't think we'd function properly if we had a normal one. you mean everything to me, even when we're fighting and even when i'm just being dumb. you've opened my eyes and my heart more than any person has ever had the ability to do. everything we've had with eachother i wouldn't want to have had with anyone else. you mean the world to me.

allen. damn kid, you are the greatest. seriously. i honestly cannot think of anyone as freakin' mature and genuine as you. i don't even know. you've been there for me for so much, i feel like i owe you my life. you're probably the most understanding person that i know, and i value your friendship an extreme amount. you are such a wonderful person, and everyone that is in your life is so god damn lucky to have you. you are one of a kind, allen.

mount tom. you kids are my favorites. we've experienced more than half our lives' of summers together. and even though we've all grown up and become people interested in different things, believing in different things, living our lives different ways, we are still golden. the friendships that i've had with all of you, i know i will have for the entirety of my life. we really need to see each other more often, because we are the greatest bunch of kids. you all mean more to me than i could ever say.

i have people in my life that i don't see too often, but i've met at shows or through music. and if you think this isn't about you, it probably is. you kids are the greatest, and i love you all. you all mean a lot to me and you're all a big part of my life, even if we aren't together a lot. thanks for being a friend and just being here and believing in what i believe in and backing what i back. this scene is something i cherish, despite it's fuck ups.

take this to your grave, and i'll take it to mine.

from sian:


Talking to margot tonight about all the problems with our boys and our friends got me thinking.



What do you do when you find Mr. Right at the wrong time? What do you do when you're options are to wait for something perfect that you're not sure you'll ever have or to settle for what you know isn't good enough? Can you just drop it and run or is it more difficult than all that? This is more real than anything I've ever known, and I have no idea what to do about it.



And what do you do when you find you've lost almost all your friends? Basically I spent the majority of my summer with two people, and now one of them is 3 hours away at college. I spent alot of time with 4H kids too, but that always ends with the summer. Usually I don't spend much time with people from school during the summer, but we always pick back up when the school year starts. I don't really have that anymore. I'm not a convenience, and people just got used to me not being around. I've found that I've become rather disposable to some people. Even those who I once felt understood me better than anyone, and vice versa. I never thought that I'd be forgotten by someone that I once would have died for. And the worst part? It's as much my fault as it is theirs. But now I'm trying to get it back and no one's really responding. Was I that easy to forget?


I'm sick of being here, in Lexington. I spend all my time working, on the internet, or with Sabrina or my mom. So many people have told me they envy me and the lifestyle I lead, but I don't understand how anyone could want this. Yea, I go to alot of shows and I meet bands and even sometimes make friends with them. Yea, I have a pretty good job at a store I love, working with awesome people. Yea, I travel alot. But guess what? I'm fucking lonely. I go to shows because they are the reason I stay sane. I have that job to pay for the shows that keep me sane. I travel alot because it's the only way for me to spend time with my best friends. Imagine if you had to pay hundreds of dollars and spend hours in airports or bus stations just so you could spend the weekend with your friends.


I can't say I regret it though. Finding those kids was the best thing that ever happened to me. And the distance, I don't always hate that either, because we have a bond that can only be created by distance, and by love that's willing to stick it out. I have a couple friends here that I love just as much, but it's hard only having one or two people to turn to when you need someone. Only one or two people that can actually hug you and that you can actually cry on.

To those of you who really care, and you know who you are-thank you so fucking much. You keep me going, day in and day out. I love you and I'm only whole when I'm with you.


These are supposed to be the best days of my life but I've never been so lonely. I just can't wait to get out of here.

i've truly realized today that most of the time, shit doesn't go your way. that's just the way it is, and you can't get upset about unimportant things like not being able to go to that Nightmare Of You show on a school night, or not being able to get ice cream one night, or someone not being able to come hang out with you.

tonight taught me a lot and it has a lot to do with two certain people, and i think you know who you are. as much as these last few months have been, you've always been there for me. and for the last few months i've been strung along partially unintentionally. regardless, i've done some growing up and some growing of balls and i've stuck up for myself. a little later than would have been completely healthy, but none the less, i've done it. i'm really fucking proud of myself and terrified at the same time. i think things are going to be okay.

one more week until school starts for me, and i've started it off on a bad foot. (aka not reading my books.) however, once the actual school part of the school year starts, i think i'm going to start stepping shit up. i need to take control of my fucking life for once, and it needs to start with this school year. i can't just sit around and expect things to happen for me, i need to get off my fucking ass and make them happen. i'm going to start doing. getting off my ass that is. l;asdjfsdfkj.

i need to start taking charge of my life, and tonight i refrained myself from burning yet another bridge. hello shitty. i need to stop thinking that erasing people is going to solve things. i just have no idea how the fuck i am supposed to look you in the face anymore. we'll see how things go down this weekend. i have too many things to say to too many people and my mind is running a million miles an hour. maybe sleep can cure the racing in my head, but i am willing to bet my life that it will only make sleeping that much more difficult. i also need to stop listening to taking back sunday. because yes, i will admit, i've listened to 'tell all your friends' a lot today. a lot. BLAHlaksdjf.

i think that i've spilled my guts enough because i can't think of anything else to say. earlier tonight i was debating whether to jump out the window, or smash your face in the next time i see you. i've decided on neither because i am bigger and better than both, and i can, and will be civil about this. mark my words.

i feel very strong right now.

[these questions are ridiculous. as is the grammar.]

TELL ME YOUR INFO.....

BASICS:

Name:

Age:
Location:

Height:

Hair (color and style):

Eyes:

Piercings/tattoos:

OTHER:

1. Where would we go on dates?

2. Who is your favorite artist?

3. Do you drink/smoke?

4. Do you like the rain?

5. If so...would you play in it with me?

6. Do you like movies?

7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?

8. Could we cuddle and just fall asleep together?

9. Would you kiss my neck?

10. Do you play any sports?

11. If so...what?

12. Would you call me right after we saw eachother?

13. How would you rate your kisses from 1-10?

14. Favorite body part on you?

15. What would you say is the best thing about yourself?

16. Do you have any reps (ie: heartbreaker, prick)?

17. Would you give me a kiss just because?

18. Would u sleep in the same bed as me?

19. Would u take me home to meet your parents?

24. How smart are you?

25. Do u have a specific body type that u like?

26. If so what is it? (fat, skiny, chubby, athletic,etc)?

27.What would u do if i cried?

28.If i were 2 ask u out what would u say?

29.Would u makeout with me?

30.If we got to the point in the relationship where I told you I loved you, what would you say?

31.Would u ever cheat on me?

32.Would u ever trust me?

33. Would you ever lie to me?

34.do u consider yourself to be, cute, fine, ugly, average, sexy, or no comment?

let me just tell you what my day was, because you will be jealous. it was amazing.

-train into nyc
-virgin megastore, smiths album for $8 and new Sleeping album
-jamba juice. delissssssh.
-quiznoes+pizza
-subway to canal st.
-waiting at knitting factory from 3:50 until around 7:00 when doors opened
-SAW VICKY AND ASHLEY!
-waited in line some more
-thomas and allen came
-show
-i am sort of mad at myself for not listening to Lorene Drive's album, even though i owned it, because they were really good.
-my american heart was super good. their bassist has the cutest butt on the face of the planet. woooo.
-theaudition. words cannot describe. as mo says, danny and i 'eye-fucked' he was sosoososos good to me. he kept coming up to me, face to face, and sang with me, litterally like 6 times. seth and joe did their fair share of coming up to me too.
-they had some technical difficulties, and danny was like 'i'd tell jokes, but im not funny' and i go 'YEH, JUST FUNNY LOOKIN!' it was the best thing ever. he laughed and came up to me and high-fived me.
-one of the best things ever was was joe coming up to me and thomas, and moving infront of thomas, moving his bass to the side and thrusting his cock in thomas' face. best.thing.ever.
-they are just amazing live
-bought a lorene drive t-shirt
-talked to danny for .000005 seconds
-talked to joe a lot. he is my new favorite person ever. such a cuuuutie. me and ashley are sharing him cause he is just the cutest thing ever.
-took the subway to union square and went to Big Daddy's diner
-lots of funny jokes/stories
-ashley, being the intelligent sweetie that she is drank hotsauce cause vicky told her too. then did it again so mo could film it.
-thomas, i was being serious when i said they didn't deserve you. i hope you have french fries everyday because i melted your heart into goo.
-going to virgin AGAIN.
-thomas owes me a million dollars, or lots of sexual favors, or just his life. god damn that kid.
-took the subway back to grand central
-ran into some problems.
-thomas thought it would be a good idea to go through together, because there was no metrocard machine, and we couldnt swipe the metrocard anymore times.
-we got caught. i cannot tell you how glad i am that i am NOT 16+, or I too, like Vicky and Ashley would have a $60 fine.
-departed with that boy that i like way too much for my own good
-took the train with vicky, ashley, and mo
-and now i'm here.

Ashley drinking hotsauce
..>

best away message ever:
Auto response from pierresRIGHTnut: 1. Me & Margot are sharing Joe from The Audition. 2. When your friends tell you to drink hot sauce don't do it. And if you do don't do it again so they can film it. 3. DON'T TRY AND GO THROUGH THE SUBWAY GATE WITHOUT PAYING BECAUSE YOU WILL I REPEAT YOU WILL GET CAUGHT! 4. I love my liiiiiife.

today
doc. it was alright. 4th medication. hahaha. i will be crazy foreverrrrrrrrr.
my mommy canceled mme. mace cause she loves me.
they're leaving tonight for some benefit dinner thing so maybe i will take a longass shower to some very loud valencia or something.

friday.
stup doctor apt. w/ bookner. yucks.
jerome, kara, + katie come in.
thomas comes up.
parkhangz.
amber, joya, sarah + mommoney come in.
dinnerz.
nighthangz.
icecream maybe?
sleepoverz.

saturday.
wake up, wake up on saturday (morning)
train to gcs.
shuttle to port authority.
buzzzz to meadowlands.
SUPER DUPER FBR PROMO MOTHERFUCKERS. GAH.
let me give you free shit. tell the fbrs im da best team captain evah.

my bbooz sched:
hushies - 12:45-1:05
bayside - 1:05-1:35 (30 min set. fucking shitty. they deserve a 3hourset. kthx)
valencia - 3:00-3:30
paramore - 5:30-6:00
octfall - 7:30-8:00
stup aar - whatevertime
fawbz - 9:20-10:30

i'll be doing lotsandlots of promo/merch/passing things out w/e.
txt me and take my free shit. let's meet up. i wanna see yr prettyfaces and meet some new ones.

bus/subway/train back home.
sleepoverz yo.

sunday.
say g'bye to the dirty southerners. =(
say g'bye to the dirtyboyf.

train/subway/bus to meadowlands.
FBR PROMO YO. SRSLY COME SAY HI. ILL GIVE YOU FREE SHIT.

sunday sched
envy on the coast - 2:15-2:45
cute is what we aim for - 3:00-3:30
panic! at the disco - 4:35-5:10
nightmare of you - 6:05-6:35 (leaving early)
saves the day - 6:20-6:55
lifetime - 7:30-8:05
stup tbs - 8:45-10:00

bus/subway/train home.
last sleepoverz. =(

monday
say g'bye to JKK. =(

Fueled By Ramen would like YOU to join in on supporting The Academy Is... by tuning into TRL on MTV Tuesday January 17th at 3:30PM! The Academy Is... Myspace They will be performing live at the TRL studios!! Let's show the world that The Academy Is... an animal

---

Copy, Paste and Re-post EVERYONE WATCH!

Enjoy. Sorry they're huge. When I'm unlazy I will re-size them.

RE-POSTED FROM THEIR MYSPACE considering i fucking hate our record label and the business is sooo corrupt. iv come up with a way to get you kids in the new york area free mest/ dead end shirts and tickets to the shows in your area.. anyone in the area can submit to become part of this street team. this is whats gonna happen we will supply you with the products you need.. mest posters, flyers and stickers. what i want to do is get 20 to 30 boys/and girls to go outside of trl for 2 to 3 weeks straight demanding that trl plays the mest video.. trust me this is not the record labels idea, fuck they are not even smart enough to come up with this. this is an idea that i had considering the only people that matter and can really get bands noticed (i believe) are the fans..to all the kids that are saying i dont want my mest on trl and i dont want them to sellout,,hmmm well come on anyone that knows of me and my band know that theres nothing that could change me and my band. i just see this as an opportunity to show the record label the power of real and dedicated fans.. why i want 20 to 30 kids is so we can do this in shifts.. you will be rewarded for your actions. if you would like to be part of this please email submissions here. mestnewyork@yahoo.com p.s. for all the kids in other states stay posted. there will be something for you to do to win tickets and other free shit thanx TONY submit: name, address, age, gender, number you can be reached at JUMP ON THE FUCKING BANDWAGON NY MEST FANS!