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Monday, July 13, 2009
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Category: Writing and Poetry
HOW FAR
How far do I have to go? To keep my sanity. How far am I willing to go? To keep you here with me. You're mine, sometimes I see. But we can't deny...that she has your heart.
And oh no! I said it wouldn't hurt. But I think it's gonna cut me deep. I said I wouldn't let it blind me from the truth. But I'm afraid it's got a hold on me.
I thought I was at peace. I thought I could settle for what it is. When I came over I felt good...with a resignation that I understood. And I could follow through on what we had agreed... a long time ago.
I couldn't let you out of my life Because I couldn't handle it. But if you let me, I would stay in yours...as long as you permitted me to.
I'll take the joy you give me when you make me happy. But I'm slowly trying to stay on my side. Just like in the beginning. Cuz I can't stand to think my touch can be erased so easily... ...by someone else's memory. But this is the way it's supposed to be.
I'm losing hope But I still care. And it did hurt, but I don't cry no more. So many times I wished...you would've come and followed me. So many times I wished...you would've never let me leave. Trying so hard to make you see... That I'm not like the others that you meet. Guess certain things you can't change. And we all have our destiny.
But I never forced you to say things you didn't mean. Sometimes I wish you'd be strong enough to let the past go. But sometimes I think this selfishness is lethal. And maybe I'm forgetting that you still need her. And who am I to take from you, what's in your heart, so deeply engraved. I can only try to comfort you, When I know your past is causing pain. And when I know it's still very much a part of who you are. I have to look the other way. Putting myself to the side, Just to be there when you cry.
Cuz I want you to lean on me and trust in me. That even though I know you cry for her, I'll never leave. You may be saying I'm too nice and you don't deserve... Half of all the things I do for you. You may be right and I may be wrong, But I'll do most anything for your happiness. Just so I can feel how I feel...when my heart jumps and skips beats. All because I saw you smile... when you looked at me.
 | Currently listening: Emotional By Carl Thomas Release date: 2000-04-18 |
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Monday, July 13, 2009
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Category: Writing and Poetry
STUPID
I feel so stupid For letting myself fall this way. Losing all senses Evey time I see your face. And call me stupid I can't defend myself that's all i can say.
I'm so stupid crazy For thinking you are mine...Just because you kiss me. For feeling butterflies...Every time you're near me. Say I'm going blind... Say I'm going blind... And all that I can see is you. Cuz everybody else is fading.
Call me stupid. Cuz I tend to forget my place. And of all things, That's gotta be my worst mistake. And I know I'm stupid... For thinking that you cared but you'll never feel the same. I'm so stupid.
Should've known my worth. I can't compare to her. Even though it hurts... It's nothing but the truth.
You'll never see me like that. You'll never feel me like that. That's why I feel out of place.
I want to love you but it won't be my way. Guess I should leave and find my own way. Wish I would've never tasted you. It's not so easy to get away. Now what'll I do...to forget about you? And I know you got me. You steal the words when you say you like me.
But I still feel stupid for letting myself fall this way.
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Monday, July 13, 2009
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Category: Writing and Poetry
SOBER
I'm still here and I'm still standing. If my pride hasn't left yet, I may still be OK. Thought about drinking these thoughts away...but that wasn't necessary. Really thought about it last night...but I guess I realized how much that would break me. And feeling good with a couple drinks left no guarantees... ...that my words would be understood and my feelings wouldn't get hurt. Cuz I'm just looking out for me,now, more than ever when I see... ...that the truth stares me in the face. And this world I cannot escape. There is nothing left for me. Only more for me to lose. I fear that I'm misunderstood...for the outcome I cannot choose. There's nothing that I have to feel sorry for...except that I ever went along with you. Trying to feed me all the nonsense. I think you thought I wouldn't notice...that this situation wasn't worth it. Losing my mind to your deceptions. Risking my heart, losing perception. Too easy to forget what roles we're playing. Too close to think I won't get hurt...that I won't catch feelings. But if I would've drank what would've happened? Opened my mouth and said I meant it?
 | Currently listening: Fearless By Jazmine Sullivan Release date: 2008-09-23 |
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Monday, July 13, 2009
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Current mood:conflicted
Category: Writing and Poetry
REMEMBER
All i remember is words..that kept running around in my head. They're confusing the way that i feel...and it makes me wanna get away. Cuz you make me feel unreal..and for you I've put up with so much. Doesn't it make you feel some guilt?
This is bad for me...and you don't make it easy to run. Most people would've left...but I thought it be good if I stuck with you. Not sure what I expected...not sure how much it would've cost me. Guess it's more than I expected...I shouldn't never let you touch me. Now how am I gonna clean this mess up? How am I gonna start over?
It's gonna take a while for me to get up! But this time I'm flying solo. Open my eyes wide so you won't find me fooled! Shut my heart out to the world. See what you can do with that...if you ever try to get me back. You changed me when we met...and again with all those words you said.
I'll never pour my heart out to you again. Now my heart won't go back to you. I was a one time deal...like all good things that come in your life. You chose to kill your chances with me. You preferred to have your way with me. Taking me for granted...but now you have all your life to regret it! Cuz I know you're gonna see it...just how good you really had it... with me.
 | Currently listening: As I Am By Alicia Keys Release date: 2007-11-13 |
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008
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Current mood:  exhausted
Category: Writing and Poetry
No Pasa Nada
Porque siempre me encuentro sola? Y perdida en una confusion? Enamorada de una ilusion, Que nunca llenara mi corazon.
Porque siento una luz del dia? como si tu sonrisa fuese mia Y me atrapas con una mirada Olvidando que no pasa nada que no pasa nada.
Yo quiero que tu me quieras Pero no no pasa nada Porque no hay nada No hay amor. Yo quiero poder quererte Siempre mas fuerte Siempre tenerte.
Porque me olvido que son otros ojos? Los que hacen que te sientas solo Son aquellos los que te obligan a buscar El calor en cualquier otro lugar.
Porque me olvido que you no soy nadie? Se que tu amor no me pertenece. Se que sufrire cuando ya no estes. Y perderte asi no soportare no soportare.
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Sunday, August 31, 2008
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Current mood:  bummed
Category: Writing and Poetry
I'm Only Someone Else
Tears that i will never cry, things you'll never see me do. less damage to undo, less baggage to owe to you. maybe this was good: the reason why we never worked. and it's me right now, don't worry for what i will do. always almost there, but never quite could let me in. heaven forbid you mistake for that someone else (that would be a sin). im only somebody else who might just be lucky enough, to make an impact on you. and leave your heart marked with a little bit of this love. this love that you never got to know ♥♥♥
and there's no need to mention names it's enough for me to bear my soul on these blank pages i lose control on these blank pages i'm vulnurable just one more heart, broken and alone. there's no need to mention names you already know.
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Friday, October 26, 2007
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Current mood:  restless
Category: Writing and Poetry
Save Ourselves This world is rough boy, and i need a friend. You keep staring at me and i hope it's not all pretend. Your mind forms intentions, and your body responds back, but i know this world is rough and i need a friend. And it hurts cuz i want it to be you, the one that i can count on, but it doesn't always work. If i take the jump im gonna end up all alone because that's the way it goes. If i take the jump you get some and i get some good times that we'll both be thinking of. If i take the jump i know we'll do it right, but will i come out unharmed? You can't guarantee me that you won't break my heart. Maybe i expect too much, but i know it's not your fault. You just want to play but i'd like it if you could stay. And you must understand... ...that I understand that this is hard; how do we turn this moment down? Take cold showers, count to ten, breathe and let it out. And you'll see that things will look so different with the light of day. We'll save ourselves that awkward silence when there's nothing left to say. For sure, we'll save ourselves the agony and pain of having to take that lonely walk of shame.
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Wednesday, August 08, 2007
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Waiting On My Chariot
I wanna fly on a chariot to heaven. I want to try to reach the stars. Somehow I feel it's better up there where my Lord can hold me without care. Because safety is in His arms. All I gotta do is hold on and wait for Him to pick me up. I know that's all I have to do. But what am I to do with all this fear? My Lord forgive me for not being brave when the enemy is near. That's why I pray to You tonight. So You can pick me up and let my fears be out of sight. I pray and wait. I pray with faith. And wait for my chariot to come.
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Wednesday, August 08, 2007
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No Me Pidas Que Te Olvide
No me pidas que te deje en el pasado y que te borre. Y que te ignore en mi memoria. No me pidas lo imposible cuande aun estoy herida. Y es que ya no soy la misma desde el dia de tu partida. Vivo en soledad en el silencio. Luchando para dejar de quererte. Quisiera sentir que me eres indiferente. Pero te amo igual o mas que ayer. Algo me dice que esta lucha es inutil porque: sigues clavado muy adentro de mi ser.
Quitame tu amor. Dejame el adios. Quitame el calor que en tus brazos encontre. Llevate de aqui una gran parte de ti. Pero no me pidas, no me pidas que yo me olvide de ti.
Aunque ya no estas, sigues muy adentro de mi ser. Siempre senti algo por ti sin duda alguna. Pero tu no eres el mismo que me toco con su mirada. Porque ahora tu pronuncias el nombre de ella y tus ojos ya no me dicen nada. Llevas huellas de sus besos en tus labios. Ella te llena tanto que no quieres verme. Quizas mi amor no fue suficiente. Tu quisieras que olvidara las miradas, las palabras. Aunque no sabes que es inutil porque te amo con el alma.
Eres lo que me duele mas, pero eres al que mas amo. Aunque tu me quites todo todo, yo sigo siendo solo tuya tuya. Y con el tiempo que ha escapado de mis manos solo he aprendido amarte mas.
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Wednesday, August 08, 2007
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Regrets (I Wish I Could Tell You)
I wish I had the right words to tell what I feel right now. Knowing every second takes you just a little bit further away. I should've seen it coming and taken up the fact that you weren't gonna stay.
You were passing by trying to fix your life and I had no part in your game. But I still led myself to think maybe I, I could help you see the light.
But did you ask for me the day you came around? I should've waited for you. I should've slowed it down. Should've taken time for the moment to be right. Maybe then we would have crossed, and said more than just hello.
It took me the whole night to let down this pride, and walk over to say hi. I was so close to walking out and leaving you here, cuz I realized how awkard this could feel.
Last time we met I walked away with regrets. What I did and didn't do. It took me awhile and a couple tears to let them go. But here you are tonight, and I don't know if I can do this no more. I don't know if I can hold them in no more.
You were just passing by trying to fix your life, but I still led myself to think that maybe I could help you see the light.
I wish You knew.
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