Life is a bitch!

These last few months have been incredibly trying. I'm not one to vent on this type of medium, but what the hell.

It seems like when it rains it poors. I should be standing butt naked out side with a bar of irish spring and a wash cloth because it seems that my life is cought in a monsoon. Lets start with work. I got stiffed for some money (about 2k) by my former employer. Not my immediate boss but the corporate guy! This punk mother fucka has all but erased me from exsistance. There is no files or any other type of evidence that I even did any work for them bitches. To add insult to injury, he has gone on a crusade to keep me from working for any of the contractors. This has brought my cash flow to a grinding hault.

The rents late, the lights are off again, and I don't have another paycheck coming. Shit is looking grim. To take it to another level, my ex quit her job and is now looking at me to take care of her and seeds. Preasure will bust pipes and I am reaching my limits. Thank god for Akila's laughter.

I ran into the cat that hit me in the face with a glass at the mall. I kicked his ass and went to jail. I got lucky on that one. He didn't file charges because I didn't press any. Now we even muthafuca!

Lil'lady I'm sorry for not being the man you need me to be. 

What am I expected to do! I just have to handle this shit! For those who know me, excuse the shell. I am just protecting myself during this rough time. Guard your grill and knuckle up or life will kick your ass. 

Revolution Starts in The Home! Take Care of Home First!

Here is a thought for all you so called revolutionist, activist and all others whom seeks to change the world. When you build anything you always start from the foundation up. Simple huh! Well, you would think that would be the case. A lot of us so called activist still don't get that shit. How are you going to fix another persons shit when your shit ain't together? Better yet! How are you going to try to fix your peoples shit when your shit ain't together?

My Brother Rami said some profound shit to me way back in mid 90's that struck me like an arrow.

" If we are supposed to have knowledge of self and be above the 85% then why     are we struggling? Why are our homes broken? Why do we still live in slums? You can't call ourselves Gods and be niggas to."

Many of us so called righteous brothers fall way short of the rhetoric that we spew. We are so quick to run out and be at the forefront of this fight and that fight screaming change at the top of our lungs. When we cannot even change the dysfunctions in homes that have been passed from generation to generation.

The revolution starts in the home. First you must become self-sufficient emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. Then you must make sure your home life, i.e. the foundation, is completely solid. How are you going to hold a community or a nation together when you cannot hold your home together? So if your lights are off, your seeds are hungry or you are facing eviction get off the front lines go take care of home first.

I had to come to terms with this over the past 5 years. It was hard as hell to point the finger at myself. But the reality of the situation was I was failing my family and the work I did in the community was not making up for my failures. That is when the Rami's statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't be part of the problem and the solution at the same time. My life had become all the shit that I was fighting against. Ironic huh! This same pro black, RBG wearing, DU4SELF screaming, black family advocate's home fell apart. I wonder were my efforts were really needed?

Now that I have this understanding I will never stand on another soapbox and scream unless it is one that my family built. I will put family first always. I would rather raise the man that changes the world than be the man that changes the world. Put your family first people and watch the world change.

Peace and Blessing

"We take the negative give it light and glamorize how we living.

Now every boy in Amerikkka pops a collar claims he pimping"

- Asim Mbonisi Hashim -

Why do we as people view our worst attributes as badges of honor? Come on hip-hip! Even the people who are so far removed from living the ghetto life and having ghetto mentalities support the bullshit. Even white boys who live in suburban neighborhoods where there are no thugs, gangsters, pimps or players aspire to be that which we say is cool. Maybe it's because we love being niggas. WAKE UP BLACK YOUTH SEE THE POWER YOU POSSESS!