I'm drained. Lots of shit going on right now, good and bad. Life's not bad or anything just feeling a little overwhelmed.

Echos are frightening. They remind me there's so much empty space.
I feel like I've been saying alot. I hear sound come back, but then I realize it's just me with a little delay. What's really happening? Please feel free to fill me in. I'm resisting just lashing out. I know it wouldn't help anything. What am I suppose to do? Sit and wait?

Me and Andrea got a Christmas tree. The apartment looks crazy cool.

So I'm leaving for portland today to Imogen Heap. Me and Michael are excited. I think I'll some shopping too. :)

So yeah. I got the job and I start tomorrow. I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be so that's good. It's good now because I won't have to work both jobs. I'm gonna stay at Outback as long as I can so long as things keep moving forward moving into take away, but Outback will get dropped first if I have to choose.

So I got offered a job this week at Wilson's Leather. The manager thought of me because I use to work for her husband at Batteries & Bands. Well anyway I was thinking something like seasonal, but when I went into talk to her she said she wanted me to apply for their part-time assistant manager. So I'm kinda excited especially since I've been so frustrated with the my current job. If I get it I won't be quitting Outback right away. I'll do both for a while and see if I can manager both or if I even need to do both. I had my phone interview today so when I hear back I let you all know.

"The Last Song I'm Wasting On You"

Sparkling grey,
Through my own veins.
Any more than a whisper,
Any sudden movement of my heart.
And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away

Just get through this day

Give up your way, you could be anything,
Give up my way, and lose myself, not today
That's too much guilt to pay

Sickened in the sun
You dare tell me you love me
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die
Honey you know, you know I'd never hurt you that way

You're just so pretty in your pain

Give up my way, and I could be anything
I'll make my own way
Without your senseless hate... hate... hate... hate.

So run, run, run
And hate me, if it feels good.
I can't hear your screams anymore

You lied to me
But I'm older now
And I'm not buying baby

Demanding my response
Don't bother breaking the door down
I found my way out

And you'll never hurt me again.

I miss that period in my life that was free of drama. I mean yeah stuff still happened but it never became "drama." What happened to that? How'd I ever let go of something as sweet as that? I must been smokin or something.

Well, lately I may have sounded like a whiney bitch to some of you and I'm sorry for that. Work is just really frustrating right now and whenever I vent about it to someone I catch myself just going off. I guess I just feel like after working there a year that I'm in the same place I was when I got hired except now I know all the servers names. I'm getting paid the same as when I started and have more responsibility now. I'm still picking up the slack busing and getting 3 hr. shifts and closing bus shifts on a friday. I keep hearing that the reason that some people are next in line for server in front of other people, that have been in take away longer, is that they have been employed at the restaurant longer. If that is the case then I should be a sever. Out of all of the busers, hosts, and take away employees I have been there the longest. And they're "working on moving people up" while at the same time they've hired a truckload of new servers. Take away people can't move up if there are no positions and hosts can't move to take away and hosts can't move up to board and bussers to host...... Anyway I guess I'm sick and tired of being told progress is being made and not seeing it. All I see is people getting hired from outside the restaurant and cutting in front of me. And if it couldn't get any more annoying, now they cut down the time I'm on the clock at the football games. So now I miss out on the best days to work for $20. Hmmmm anything else? Sorry I'm normally I'm not this bitter, but I think it's to the point of being ridiculous. And this is affecting more than just me. Plenty of us are annoyed if not fed up with the situation. Well I'm off. I have to go bus.

So this is Justin Diller. I'm one of the many whos profile has now been so wonderfully deleted.