Sitting looking out my window
At the darkened night sky
Thinking of you and your memories
And the years that have gone by

Many days and nights have passed
I am older and on my own
Thinking of everything that she's missed
She'll never see me grown

All the things I've accomplished
The things I have done
The people and places I've seen
The person I've become

I wish you could be here
To tell me your proud of me
And of everything I've become
I did it successfully

I guess what I'm trying to say is
That I miss you so much it's wild
You'll never be forgotten
Because I am my mother's child.

Why do you hurt me?
Why do you make me cry?
Why do you turn me away?
Why do you lie?

All I want is for us
To be happy
Together not apart
Me with you and you with me

I try so hard but
I always seem to fail at it
Like I'm the only on who cares
My hearts the only one in it

I want to love you
For you to be with me
But this pain that your causing,
Why is it hard for you to see?

I should go
But I want to stay
I wont leave
My love for you will never go away

behind my eyes is everything
you dont care to know
emptiness, darnkess, lonliness,
the window to my soul

behind this smile is everything
you dont understand about me
my life, or what i been through
you just know the things you see

behind my heart is everything
you never knew i felt
pain and heartache from loved ones
things in which i should've never had to delt

just because i walk around
with a smile on my face
doesnt mean that im winning
the battle or the race

im getting tired of crying with
no one to comfort me at night over
a pain that wont go away while i
sit in a dark corner holding myself tight

but for the sake of everyone else ill keep
that smile on my face a little while longer
so you can be happy around me and you never know
maybe it'll turn out to make me stronger

So tired of the stress
That life deals to me
Not one moment of peace
Not one moment of silence with ease

I just can't win for losing
No matter what I do
Everyday is just so hard
Just so tough to get through

With burdens and trials
To push through everyday
I try to push on
And be happy in the best way

I try to do well
And do what I gotta do
Stay on track and focused
And do what I'm supposed to

But it's easy to get discouraged
When people get in your face
Talking down to you
Saying I need to stay in my place

But who are they to say
What and where my place should be
I make my own choices in life
I'm the one who does for me

I'm not gon' come,
And beg you for some time,
I'm not gon' try,
To make you hear what's on my mind,

I'm not gon' ask,
You to buy me what I want,
I'm not gon' cry,
Cause I can make it on my own

I'm gonna make it,
I can take care of me,
I don't need no man,
To tell me who I wanna be

I'm not gon' make,
You pretend you wanna stay,
I'm not gon' lie,
Just to have it my way,

I'm not gon sit,
And wait for you to see,
I'm not gon' stand,
For the way you treated me

I'm gonna make it,
I can take care of me,
I don't need no man,
To tell me who I wanna be

I got my own ride without you,
I got my own life without you,
I got my own money without you,
I got me without you

..> ..>

Im tired of THESE dumb ass hoes....

thinkin that they can just step to me. Everyone who knows me knows what im goin through with ronie, and these stupid ass bytches tryin to come at me tellin me what i aint! I will break a bytch back if any of them tries dat shyt in ma face. I dare a bytch to step to me and say anything about Ronie, I dare you, any of you bytches who think i am finna take dis shyt on my back. I am not the fuckin one to fuck with just becasue you wanna feel special. FUCK DAT SHYT. Ya'll dont know me and i will create fuckin hell on earth if you step to me and say anything bout me and or Ronie. fuckin sorry ass bytches

Boyz II Men › It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought wed get to see forever
But forevers gone away
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I dont know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where weve been
And what weve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope its worth all the wait
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

..> ..>

1 more chance is all I can give. I am hurting to much to keep up. Am I really outta sight outta mind with you?? Well I don't really care for your answer cuz the truth of the matter is...that's how it feels. I've done nothing to you and everything I could for you. I mean, I gave you me. And obviously it wasn't nearly enough. 1 chance, and if you make me make a choice I don't want to, it will hurt me more than anythings ever hurt me before. I say it will hurt me cuz I've come to realize that I do in fact love you, but if you don't feel the same I have no choice but to accept it. The chance I'm giving you is My day, all it takes is 1 phone call, can you handle it?....Or will you make me cry??

I dont know what to think. There is someone that I really care about a lot, I mean ALOT, but for some reason I keep getting a feeling like its a one sided feeling or that he doesn't feel for me as much. I swear I want to saty with him and be with him and only him right now i just hate feeling this way. This is where the insecurities start, and I'm tryin to ignore them its just hard. He wont talk to me about cuz he doesnt like to, so when he does he gives me the most generic answers.  I dont think hes cheating on me or anything, i just know hes sorta a flirt, which I dont care about as long as its not in my face. I dunno what to think.  I just want him to know that I do care about him alot I just need to know if you care about me too........

You made me feel like
I could do anything in the world
Anything I ever wanted to
All because I was your girl

If I wanted to reach a star
And pull it down to earth
If you told me I could, then I could
You don't know your words worth

When I saw you smile at me
My world shined so bright
When you held me tight
You made me feel like there was nothing I couldn't fight

But suddenly you took
Your love away
And left me here alone
To just fade away

I tried to pull you back
And have your love again
But I lost my stregnth when I lost you
So I lost and she wins

Without you I'm just a body
With little life in my hearts place
And you can go on smiling
Like I was nothing but a forgotten phase

I still love you
But you just can't tell
Because you're all wrapped
Up in her love spell

If only you could
Look in my eyes and see
All of this pain I feel
From what you've done to me

But someday you will cry for me
Like I've been crying for you
Someday you'll be missin me
Like I been missin you

I know someday you'll need me
Just like I need you
Someday you'll love me again
But I won't love you

One day you'll wake up and
Realize how much you care about me
You'll finally be able to understand
I know you will see

And when that day comes to you
I'll be waking up to
The morning sunrise with the
Guy who already knew

Written on Dec 24, 2006