So I went to Colorado from Saturday the 3rd to Wednesday the 7th. My brother-in-law Darrin invited me to go over there to watch the Super Bowl with his friend Chris who lives in Longmont. I was told we'd also be visiting a ton of breweries, as there's a ton of them over there. As soon as I heard that, I was all set to go. If you didn't know, I love beer and work for a Coors/Miller/craft beer/wine distributor). Saturday, the first day I showed up, set the scene for what I'd be doing for the next five days: drinking beer! Chris and Darrin picked me up from the airport and we immediately went to our first brewery, The Tommyknocker brewery in Idaho Springs. Being from Idaho, this town reminded me a lot of my home state. It was a small town and reminded me a lot of Wallace, only prettier. It totally looked like an Old West town, which was great. So the first thing we ordered was a sampler for each of us. Their sampler consisted of eight 5-oz glasses of every beer they made. They had some interesting brews, including the Tundra Beary, which was a pale ale made with raspberries, blueberries and other fruits. Interesting. They had a Maple Nut Brown Ale, which was pretty damn good, although Chris didn't care for it. It tasted like beer with maple syrup in it. Sound gross? It wasn't. Other notables were the Butt Head Bock (got a t-shirt of that one), and the Imperial Nut Brown Ale. The Imperial is a bigger, bolder version of the Maple Nut Brown Ale, with about twice the alcohol. This was my favorite beer here. They had some excellent food here, too.

Our next stop was the Coors Brewery. You didn't think I'd miss the opportunity to see the beer the state of Colorado is most famous for, did you? Hell no. Although I'm not crazy about the major beers in America (Bud, Coors, Miller), I do drink Coors every now and then if I can get it cheap at work when it goes out of date. But generally, my tastes lean toward craft and foreign beers. And Coors actually does make one of my favorite craft beers, Blue Moon, so that was a sell for me. We went on the tour of the brewery and I learned a lot about beer. At one point in the tour we got to sample the freshest Coors one can possibly drink. I think it had been brewed that day or the day before. Like I said before, this is Coors so I wasn't expecting anything all that great, but this fresh stuff was delicious! It exceeded all my expectations. If only the stuff you buy in the stores was this good, I would drink it more often. After the tour was over, we got to go to their tasting room and drink two of any product they sell. I went for the Blue Moon Belgian White, which is always good, and this crazy drink that they just do at the brewery where they mix the Blue Moon with George Killians Irish Red. Not bad at all. We then went to the merchandise store where I got a couple of hats.

After this, we were going to go to another brewery but we had to take a detour because people in Colorado don't know how to drive in the snow. I couldn't believe it. I thought people in the Rockies would be pros at driving in winter weather. There were wrecked cars everywhere! It was bizarre. Chris told us that snow and ice don't build up on the roads like it does in Idaho, so people there are as clueless as southern Californians when it comes to snow! So we ended up getting kind of lost. By the time we found our way it was late so we just went back to Chris' place.

Chris has a nice place and I'd heard that his bar is fantastic, but I wasn't prepared for this. It's totally decked out in beer signs, neons, a dart machine, foosball table, pool table, air hockey, a huge TV, a nice beer fridge, a keg fridge with a fresh keg in it, and his impressive tap handle collection. I didn't count how many he had, but it was quite the collection. We ended up playing Triapoly and then went to bed.

The next day was Super Bowl Sunday. Chris has a reputation for throwing the best Super Bowl parties in town and he didn't disappoint. At the height of the party there was probably close to 80 people in that house. Every TV room was filled to the brim with people. Two of the people there own one of the breweries we would be going to in a couple of days. Chris is friends with the brewmaster. I got to talk with him a little bit about beer which was cool. He was an interesting guy. It was great. We ended up playing darts all night, which was a lot of fun.

The next day we realized that it was quite the party. There were pistachios everywhere, not to mention all the empty beer bottles and keg cups. After we got our hungover asses into gear, we headed out to visit more breweries. Our first stop was the Budweiser plant in Fort Collins. I was a little leery going in here. I work for Coors/Miller so this was enemy territory for me and I detest anything Budweiser related. I don't understand why it's the biggest beer in the world. In my eyes, it sucks ass. Everybody else wanted to go, so I agreed to check it out. We went on the tour which was, again, very informative and interesting. We got to see the Clydesdales and a 1910 beer delivery wagon, which was pretty neat. At the end of the tour we went to the tasting room. We got to do a blind taste test. Our tour guide wouldn't tell us what we were tasting. She gave us two different glasses and told us to tell her what our first impressions were--taste, color, and scent wise, and which one we liked better. I liked the first sample better. I thought it was more crisp and refreshing. The second sample had a malty flavor that I didn't care for as much. After we were done, she told us that the first sample was fresh Budweiser, less than ten days old. The second sample was also Budweiser, but was 100 days old and had been sitting in the sun for awhile. So I supposed I picked the right one, although Chris liked the older beer better--he thought it had more flavor. Darrin agreed with me that the first one was better. We got to have full glasses of some of their other beers. I had their winter seasonal, which is a beer made with vanilla beans and other spices aged in bourbon barrels. I've tried this beer before and I think it's pretty good. I then had a Michelob Honey Lager which was pretty good too. Darrin, Chris, and I also shared their Stone Mill Organic Pale Ale, which was actually pretty damn good. On the tour we learned about these flavor shots that Anheuser-Busch sells. You can add a variety of flavors (the ones I can remember were mango, lime, and chocolate) to your beer to get a whole new flavor experience. So in their tasting room we decided to try one. We got a Bud and added the mango flavor to it. You should have seen the grimaces of disgust from Darrin and Chris! I didn't think it was that bad. It made it taste like a Mike's or a Zima or something (aka cheerleader beer). It was interesting, but it's something I'd never buy.

After Bud, we went into the heart of Fort Collins. Chris told us Fort Collins has more breweries per capita than any other place in the world. He was right. I was in beer heaven! Our first craft brewery was Coopersmith brewery. As far as atmosphere, this place was my favorite brewery of the whole trip. They didn't have the best beers I tried on this vacation, but it was a neat looking place. To get to it, we had to walk through an area of town that reminded me a lot of Pioneer Square in Seattle. The streets were cobblestone and there were shops, restaurants, and bars everywhere. Walking in to Coopersmith I was immediately impressed. It was a very fashionable place, although some of the art kind of sucked in a new age/modern kind of way. We ordered two 5 oz samples of every beer they made. They make 14 beers in this place, which meant we had 28 glasses of beer on the table. Beer heaven I repeat! Some of my favorites here included the Columbine Kolsch, the Sigda's Green Chili, the Scrumpy Cider (not a beer, but still great), the Dunkel Munich, the Opus Mega Alpha IPA, and the Black Powder Barley Wine. My favorite here was the Sigda's Green Chili, which is ironic because I thought it would be disgusting. I've had chili beers before (anybody remember Cave Creek Chili Beer?) and they're always nasty. This one was awesome! It was pretty spicy and tasted like I was drinking a liquid Mexican dish. That doesn't sound good does it? I think you need to sample it yourself before you pass judgement. Coopersmith also had an absolutely disgusting beer called the Bourbon Barrel Existential Porter. This thing did not taste like a beer. It tasted like straight whiskey. We were in a hurry to get to as many breweries as possible this day, so we had to down these samples in a hurry. Chris downed one of the glasses of this shit beer in one swallow, which would prove to be a terrrible mistake on his part later on. When we finally left this place, we were all feeling pretty tipsy. We got some great pictures which I can't wait to see.

Next stop was the New Belgium brewery. I've always wanted to come here. Fat Tire is probably our best selling craft beer at the distributor where I work. We each got a sampler here. I think there were seven or eight beers total. There wasn't a bad beer here, but my favorites were the Trippel (it tastes so authentically Belgian you'd think it was a Chimay--my favorite beer in the world by the way), the Abbey, and the 1554 Black Ale. I got to talk to the servers about beer, which is obviously a subject I love talking about. I told him I worked for one of their distributors in Idaho and he told me he just got a shipment ready for us the day before. I thought that was cool.

Next stop was O'dells (I think that's what it was called--I was pretty hammered at this point). I don't remember all the beers we drank, but I think there was five or six to sample. My favorite was their porter. This place was cool, but so far the least memorable.

After this we headed back to Chris'. I was writing earlier about how it was a mistake for Chris to be pounding all those beers. This is where that mistake comes into play. He ended up puking his guts on the side of the road. He didn't feel too good, but we were laughing our asses off! We got back and Chris passed out. Darrin, Darby (Chris' wife), and I stayed up until about 1 AM talking and drinking and then Darrin got Chris' ass up out of bed. He got up and we ended up watching Boston Legal til four in the morning!

Needless to say, the next day, Tuesday, was our lazy day. We layed around and watched TV until about 3:00. Then we got up, went to the mall, came back, and then went out to see some more breweries. This time Boulder was our destination. Our first stop was supposed to be the Avery brewery but they were closed. We then went to the Walnut brewery. Our days of ordering multiple samplers were behind us. We were all feeling a little under the weather I believe. We tried two beers apiece here. I had a Devil's Thumb Stout and an Old Thumper Barleywine. Neither were anything to write home about, but I liked the Old Thumper better.

I don't remember the name of the next brewery we went to. It was a cool looking place, though. All the kettles were right behind the bar, totally visible. I got a sampler here and we shared it. My favorite here was the Imperial Stout. Yummy.

Our last stop of the night was the Left Hand brewery. We did indeed save the best for last. It wasn't the best as far as atmosphere, but they had the greatest beers by far. Not only did they have the greatest beers of the trip but some of the best beers I've ever tried. Their milk stout might be the greatest stout I've ever had. I don't know, I'd have to have some of my other favorites on hand to compare them side by side. It seemed to me as good if not better than classics like Samuel Smith's Oatmeal and Imperial Stout and Rogue's Shakespeare Stout. They also had a fantastic smoked porter which was in the same league as Alaskan Smoked Porter. They also had a delicious Trippel, again reminding me of Chimay. They also had another great porter and a spiced ale called Ju Ju Ginger Ale. It tasted like a gingerbread cookie. Every beer here was delicious.

Then we went back to the house. The next day was Wednesday, and our last day in Colorado. Darrin and I flew back to Idaho around noon. Over the course of three days we visited nine breweries and tried between 50 and 60 different beers. It was an experience I'll never forget. The two of us seriously began talking about starting our own brewery after this trip. It's been my dream job for about ten years now. Going on this trip really got me anxious to stop dreaming and start acting. Let's hope it happens.

Campfire Revelations

Firelight dances across sooty river rock
Making archangels covort before the grinning faces
Shifting half-eaten faces only periodically glimpsed in the twisting light

"I once knew innocence" speaks one
"I once knew true love" adds another
"I once knew compassion" says the other
"I once humped a monkey" proclaims an unseen figure from the back

The other figures look at each other
Not comprehending
They melt together
Creating a hulking mass of electric rage

As the other figure disappears like a wisp of smoke
Knowing he'll end up at the zoo once again

Okay, here are six things about me you may not know.

1. I was raised by wolves in the Tibetan jungle. When I was five, some natives found me, put me in a box, and shipped me to the United States.

2. I have telepathy. I know what you're thinking so don't fuck with me.

3. I've flown around the world in the Goodyear blimp. We crashed in the Tibetan jungle, though, and I had to relive my childhood.

4. I've drank three cases of beer in one night, which caused projectile vomiting. My puke flew all the way across the room, man!

5. I once sprayed cheese whiz all over my body for Halloween. I had the best costume that night, I can tell you! Everyone kept trying to lick me, though, which was quite annoying.

6. I once had some eggplants I carried with me everywhere, but I lost them somewhere in the Tibetan jungle when the blimp crashed.

Now I tag 5 people? Okay: Melissa, Nicky, Thomas, Jessica, and Shanna.

 

"An Appointment with Dr. Bosch"

Lost in the gray twisting paths
Of a consciousness consumed by slow rotting fungi
Will this abandoned soul ever return
To the loved ones it left behind?

There is a door.
A quick (slow) turn of the head
Reveals nothing but simple (warped) sheetrock...
Absence

A harmless creature (beast)
Looks on with piercing yellow eyes,
Looking through windows into the pits of a personal sun...
Conduit

From an iridescent box
A girl in blue liquidates onto the shifting road before unblinking eyes
Leaving nothing but the faded remnant of her innocence
Making the observer of this procession of confusion long for his own wide-eyed purity

Will tranquility ever be mine again?
Will I ever return to that which is familiar?
Will this forever evolving innerspace be my dwelling forever?
I no longer desire to be disembodied this way

A silent scream
A clenched fist

Home has never been farther away

To take wine into our mouths is to savor a droplet of the river of human history.--Clifton Fadiman

A glass of wine is great refreshment after a hard day's work.--Ludwig van Beethoven

A glass of good wine is a gracious creature and reconciles poor mortality to itself, and that is what few things can do.--Sir Walter Scott

Wine is one of the most civilizing things in the world and one of the natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection, and it offers a greater range of enjoyment and appreciation than, possibly, any other purely sensory thing.--Ernest Hemingway

Wine in moderation--not in excess, for that makes men ugly--has a thousand pleasant influences. It brightens the eye, improves the voice, imparts a new vivacity to one's thoughts and coversation.--Charles Dickens

Wine is like the incarnation--it is both divine and human.--Paul Tillich

Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,/ Sermons and soda-water the day after.--Byron

Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing more excellent or valuable than wine was ever granted by the gods to man.--Plato

Making good wine is a skill, fine wine an art.--Robert Mondavi

When there is plenty of wine, sorrow and worry take wing.--Ovid

Wine can of their wits the wise beguile,/ Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.--Homer

Beer is made by men, wine by God.--Martin Luther (note from me: hey Martin, beer can be just as good as wine!)

Wine is sure proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.--Benjamen Franklin

If we sip the wine, we find dreams coming upon us out of the imminent night.--D.H. Lawrence

We could in the United States make as great a variety of wines as are made in Europe, not exactly of the same kind, but doubtless as good.--Thomas Jefferson, 1808

The Flavor of wine is like delicate poetry.--Louis Pasteur

A bottle of good wine, like a good act, shines ever in the retrospect.--Robert Louis Stevenson

Wine is sunlight, held together by water.--Galileo

Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul.--Horace

Wine is a bride who brings a great dowry to the man who woos her persistently and gracefully.--Evelyn Waugh

Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.--Andre Simon

A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover.--Clifton Fadiman

In California, where the wine industry is of comparatively recent growth (a mere 200 years), really thrilling changes are taking place.--Harry Waugh, 1969

Come closer and see
See into the trees
Find the girl
If you can
Come closer and see
See into the dark
Just follow your eyes
Just follow your eyes

I hear her voice
Calling my name
The sound is deep
In the dark
I hear her voice
And start to run
Into the trees
Into the trees

Into the trees

Suddenly I stop
But I know it's too late
I'm lost in a forest
All alone
The girl was never there
It's always the same
I'm running towards nothing
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again

--"A Forest" by The Cure

It was two years ago today that I went out on my first date with Amy, who is my wife now. It was a blind date, courtesy of my cousin Stacie who brought us together, so I had no idea what to expect, but we hit it off right away. By our third date we were boyfriend and girlfriend. After three months we were in love. A month after that I asked her to move in with me. Four months after that I asked her to marry me. And five months after that we were married. It all happened pretty fast, you could say, but I'm convinced we were meant to be. Yeah, we're still pretty much newlyweds, so pardon all this lovey dovey stuff, but I want everyone to know that we're still madly in love with each other. Life's good.

I jumped in the river, what did I see?

Black-eyed angels swam with me

A moon full of stars and astral cars

All the figures I used to see

All my lovers were there with me

All my past and futures

And we all went to heaven in a little rowboat

There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

                    --"Pyramid Song" by Radiohead