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Last Updated: 11/21/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 19
Sign: Cancer

City: northgate
State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/21/2006

Blog Archive
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Thursday, October 22, 2009 
Nobody ever sits down to writes one of these with a smile to inspire it.
today I have



Life is really great
well not the best
everything is falling apart just like always
but im taking it in stride.



but i mean what is there thats so terrible?
my newports are still delicious
my weed is extorodinary
the sun is still shining IN OCTOBER IN SEATTLE
my kitchens full of food
my company is great
my turtle's the cutest STILL
my shoes are new
my clothes are warm and cute
the boyfriend is the sexiest
sex is still just as amazing as always  :P
i mean im finding it hard to bitch here



i dont know what it is...
maybe its working-out everyday?
but that dosnt explain the shine to my hair
the smile on my face


its amazing how the exact same thing can happen 100 times in your life
but something simple like being in love
or taking care of youself
can turn disaster into a bump in the road

 

I have a greater inner peace ive never had before

Im happy,
for probably the 2nd or 3rd time in my life
Im happy, not for a minute or an hour but days and weeks.


I hope everyone finds this....
I kinda want to travel? this is really my only discontent...

ive been really envious on the road trip front, 
 I mean goin hawaii in xmas to see the gma dont count
and I cant wait for vegas in march

but im thinking
maybe even leave for perminate? 
i just feel so rooted.... 
i wanna be free like the wind.


;) 




Currently listening:
Aenima
By Tool
Release date: 1996-10-01
Tuesday, October 06, 2009 
I lost a whole bag oh face paint!
Im certain i have minature closet ninjas
running a muck and stealing face painting articals....




BOOOOO YOU





excuse me i must smokada weed before they get that tooo
sneakie bastards.
Friday, September 11, 2009 

Current mood:  weird
cause i just want to be angry at you and i cant.
cause i dont want to feel like this anymore
cause jealously makes me sick in my head
cause you hate.

i dont want to be the bad guy
but i am



its like you took me and removed all the flaws so you can love it,
is it love?


I want to eternal sunshine you
cause there is no fuckin happy end
cause your memories are worth nothing to me.

but they stay and rot and ache and burn and rip


and its my fault
cant deny or lie or squirm around it



i hold fast at one blame
one freedom i have
one you cant take

i told you from that beginning day
i destroy and demolish
and one day you'd be another name
that hated me

you didnt listen and now your just another festering pain


 

Thursday, August 28, 2008 

Sliping scilently into stereotype's. I forgot to hold my breath
and it burned with the soft touch of reality. Simplistic in my speach
with the hope of hiding insecuritys. Soft rephrasal's for every miscomunication.
acordian shaped mouths with slippery waxed off faces
My lips are moving. I could Kill for less! I'm repeating
I am not wrong! muffled under the suffication.
Bare skinned distructive faces
telling secrets in untold fashion
Mental stimulation does not create catagories!
But lie for me! they beg, who forms judgment without participation!
And with this I alienate
With This I Exterminate
Your fucking dead

Your fucking dead.

 

 




 

Tuesday, July 08, 2008 

Without a personality you're not a person.

 

 

so what the fuck have you become?

Friday, June 20, 2008 

because i found those fucking pictures off all of us. happy.

 

 

I know Ive grown spiteful.
I know I am filled with rage.
I know you dont care 
I know I dont need anyones help
I know I used to never look back notsomuchanymore
I know that you will never let me show you than Ive changed again
I know Ive become so much more than that lost little girl you cared for

 

I know there will never be enough sorrys I know Ive made 1,000 mistakes I know youve moved on to hating me like I hate me No doubt you have every right. but somehow I know were both the same people we used to be deep down. searching for the ultimate friend who always understands.

 

Clearly we failed eachother.

I lashed out
You didnt want to understand why


I wish had never hurt another person. ever.
I wish I didnt have so much anger I misplace.

I wish I could of been the ultimate friend to so many people who needed it.

 

 

I wish I could find that person

Tuesday, July 10, 2007 
To our love.



Thank You
(LedZeppelin)

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.


Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.





Friday, May 18, 2007 
Spinning in my own head
and around I find you lurking
Stareing, Deluding
Were do we place a table?
In this swamp
Up my ankles
leaches leaching
speeding unrelentlessly
And I slither into my waste land
cover my white skin in mud
Drownd me in this placid lake
and I bite my aligatoric mouth
Reanching in and deeper and farther
ripping shreading
and I lay my prehistoric head on this dead land
listening to these prehistoric thoughs
echoing prehistoric lies
and this layer of skin invests in pealing of me
with blackened eyes
I screech these barberic crys
and it grows
until Im a rabid sight


She was covered in a mossy coat
clinging to her bare skin
she screamed
the birds flew out of the threes
a green tint on her dark damp hair
that she ripped at
blacked eyes stare out  dead
again and again she screamed
rageing on
tearing at her own skin
lashing at her leach covered legs
blood pooling in the water at her feet
Patches of red invade the green growth

Friday, April 20, 2007 
Tonight he went to sleep early
I noticed on the walk home the sky was so clear
and as I try to find a book to read while he sleeps
I look out the window.


Three shooting stars pass by
It took me a moment to wish
I should of wished to always be in awe of the world
just like I still am
just about those stars

things rattle him and I so much
try to shake us apart

but he always says
"dont worry, we'll figure it out"
and we do.

I dont care who hates me or him
Im sick of people feeling alone or hateful or annoyed
and trying to take it out on us

I wear my diamond ring everyday
one stone for every letter in apple

and I am happy

I want to travel
Ive been watching Planet Earth every sunday
it kills me
I want to see everything

and then I feel this feeling
something inside me spinning
and I know one day Im going to change the world somehow
I want to cement my handprint in the face of the world and I will

Austin and I decided that Im going to do online schooling
to get my diploma
then classes at the commuity collage of my choice

I want to be a bioligist
and a photographer
and I want to go everywhere

my fuel has been filled and Ive found my course

and I want to be a shooting star
I want people to make wishes on my pictures


I wish I could see that
I wish I could take pictures like that



I have a wish
I wish people understood why I am how I am
and saw how I was
and understood this wall I have.


But I hear him coughing
and saying baby
so I have to leave myself with a thought


where do I start? and where will I end.
I cant wait to start this adventure


p.s. happy four twenty


WOOOO
Saturday, October 28, 2006 

Laying in the rain
dancing in the street lights
holding up street signs asking for money
walking half naked into a strangers house and asking for bread

I miss being carefree