SMASH THE STATE (OF OREGON)

We don't care about politics/It's all bullshit anyways
We don't care about oppression/And that's the Portland Police way
We don't care about Kitzhaber/He's only in it for the cash
We don't care about Vera Katz/She can suck my fuckin' ass

Don't ya know we're gonna
Smash the state, smash the state, smash the state of Oregon
We're gonna smash the state, smash the state, smash the state of Oregon
well uh-uh

We don't need your no sales tax/or assisted suicide
We don't care about Tri-Met/Dial FUCK-YOU for a ride
And fuck the OLCC/I'll just buy my beer in the 'Couve
If we don't smash this state right now/I swear I'm gonna move

Don't ya know we're gonna
Smash the state, smash the state, smash the state of Oregon
We're gonna smash the state, smash the state, smash the state of Oregon
well uh-uh

Let's smash this state
Oh, like it's a system

MY FRIEND IS DEAD

My friend is dead
No, I won't forget all the silly things you said rappin' to me at Satyricon
I remember when we first met and yeah, yeah I do regret
Never telling you I fucking care

Whoa-oh My friend is dead
Whoa-oh My friend is dead-DEAD
Whoa-oh My friend is dead
No more anything

I'm not talkin' about your band, I'm talkin' 'bout you, the man
You mean more than any fucking song
I wish I'd spent more time with you, at least I'm glad that I knew you
I won't forget I won't forget I won't forget I won't forget

Whoa-oh My friend is dead
Whoa-oh My friend is dead-DEAD
Whoa-oh My friend is dead
No more anything

Whoa-oh My friend is dead
Whoa-oh My friend is dead-DEAD
Whoa-oh My friend is dead
No more anything ever fucking again my friend is dead

NOT A WASTE

Not not not not not a waste
Not not not not not a waste
Not not not not not a waste
Not not not not not a waste
Not not not well I'm not a disgrace, ok?

I've seen the way you look at me
My eyes, my clothes, my shoes, my face
I've seen that look in your eyes
I never threw myself away
You think I look out of place?
C'mon then say it to me, say it to me, say it to my face

'Cause I'm not, not a waste
And I'm not going away
'Cause I'm not, not a waste
And I'm not going away, ok?

Who are you to say if my life has meaning
I don't spend my time prissing and preening
Now you say I got a bad attitude
You're just being fuckin' rude
Think I look out of place?
I'm breathing your contempt so say it to me, say it to my face

'Cause I'm not, not a waste
And I'm not going away
'Cause I'm not, not a waste
And I'm not going away

You say I'm a waste
You say I'm a disgrace
You wanna put me in my place?
No.  No.  No.  I'm not a waste

I ain't no waste and I ain't no disgrace
Look in my eyes, look in my face
No.  No.  No.  No.  No.
I'm not a waste

I EAT PUNK

I eat punk

I eat nerds rope and cooler ranch Doritos
I drink Mountain Dew with ETX Burritos
Grasshoppers and Chicken McNuggets
Grape soda, grape soda gimme a bucket

I eat punk

I eat Popeye's Chicken and cookie dough
Gummi Coke Bottles and Tootsie Rolls 
Pringles Cheezums and Nestle Crunch
You call it candy I call it lunch

I eat punk

I am the king of food depravity
With only 23 cavities
I'm the Ian Mackaye of my teeth
Oh, fascism reigns when I eat

I eat punk and punk eats me

BROKEN GLASS

I will not give up on myself at all
I will not smash myself against the wall

Get drunk?  Well I pass, 'cause all those bottles end up broken glass
Get drunk?  Well I pass, 'cause all those bottles end up broken glass

I will not go easy and I do not want to numb
Yeah, I wanna feel the pain, 'cause that's the only way to overcome

Get drunk?  Well I pass, 'cause all those bottles end up broken glass
Get drunk?  Well I pass, 'cause all those bottles end up broken glass

I will not go easy and I do not want to numb
Yeah, I wanna feel the pain, 'cause that's the only way to overcome

Get drunk?  Well I pass, 'cause all those bottles end up broken glass
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Broken glass, broken glass, I'm getting cut on broken glass oh no
Broken glass, broken glass My life's all cut on broken glass, oh no

SPORTS ROCKERS

I'm different from you - better
Can't you see it on my - leather
I'm so much more hardcore
I'm down with the guys from Religious War

I-I-I-I-I am unamus-ed
They ain't scumbags but they sure are snobs
To them punk and crust is only sports rock
Who wins is the punkest of us all

If who they are's considered cool then count me out
Of smoking crack I'm fucking dumb but I'll survive
I ain't saying I should be the judge
But I know what I see and how I feel

If you ain't a Civic punk you're a house punk
Unless you're cool and spare change on the street
If you're a girl, you've got to fuck the cool guys
That's how the guys decided it would be

If who they are's considered cool then count me out
Of smoking crack I'm fucking dumb but I'll survive
I 'm not saying I should be the judge
But I know what I see and how I feel

Hey.  I'm Ray.  Hey.  I'm Ray.
Have you seen my pager, it looks like this
I got 2 months rent free, her cat's a decapitee
My brain does not exist

I-I-I-I-I am unamus-ed
They ain't scumbags but they sure are snobs
To them punk and crust is only sports rock
Who wins is the punkest of us all

If who they are's considered cool then count me out
Of smoking crack I'm fucking dumb but I'll survive
I ain't saying I should be the judge
But I know what I see and how I feel

Hey.  I'm Ray.  Hey.  I'm Ray.
Have you seen my pager, it looks like this?

SHE'S NOT FROM CHICAGO, BUT I AM AND I'M PISSED

Everyone I know seems to think that they're this or they're that
Someone's right or they're wrong, a note is sharp or it's flat
I don't see these things that way, no black or white, that's fucking right
This world is fucking gray

I don't wanna be cool or lame
With just 2 choices, half the world's the same
I am not nice, I am not mean, ok?
I am not nice, I am not mean, I am just something in between

Everybody's talking so much cancer
Eat your fucking words
'Cause you're just as scared as me, and you're just as dumb as me
And you're just as smart as me
You ain't no expert, you're only worth as much as you think you're not

So you might as well not write anyone off
La-la-la-la-la

So you might as well not write anyone off
La-la-la-la-la
Don't wanna be cool, I don't mind being lame, ok?
Don't wanna be cool, I don't mind being lame
I just don't wanna be the same

ME HATES MINE

My brain can't give me anymore
My blood is starting to run thick
I'm enemy of my brain and body
I make me sick

My anger only makes me worthless
My pacifism only makes me weak (you fucking nerd)
I get so riled up when I'm thinking
I give me the creeps

My brain can't give me anymore
My blood is starting to run thick
I'm enemy of my brain and body
I make me sick

My anger only makes me worthless
My pacifism only makes me weak (you fucking geek)
I get so riled up when I'm thinking
I give me the creeps

Me hates me
Me hates I
I hate me
Me hates mine

REDEFINITION

Let's prove them all wrong
Let's shred their books, let's shut their mouths
Let's redefine their rules, ah-ah
Oh-oh let's redefine their rules

Star-crossed to say the least we don't make sense to them
They've only been brought up to tell us that we're weird and not okay

Let's prove them all wrong
Let's shred their books and shut their mouths
Let's redefine their rules, ah-ah
Oh-oh let's redefine their rules

I never listen to them I always listen to you
I tune them out, but I hang on your every word

For you, I'll break social confinement
For you, I'll be misunderstood
For you, I'll keep it all a secret
For you, because of you

Let's prove them all wrong
Let's shred their books and shut their mouths
Let's redefine their rules, ah-ah
Oh-oh let's redefine their rules

Let's redefine their rules ah-ah
Oh-oh let's redefine their rules

200 NATIONS

Here we go now I'm going down into a place I've never been before
Yeah, I'm going and you can't stop me
Into a place I've never seen before
And I'm going yeah

I'm going to emigrate
Cut out of my nation-state
I've got so much to see
200 nations, I've only seen 22

Yeah, into a nashe nI've never lived before
Yeah I'm going, you can't stop me
Into some air I've never breathed before
And I'm going yeah

I'm going to emigrate
Cut out of my nation-state
I've got so much to see

200 nations, oh, 200 nations, 200 nations, yeah, nations

GOOD FOR GOOD

Since you're sick and you can't get well
I made up a story to tell
Maybe it can cheer you when you're down

So I talked to god
Who in fantasies does exist
And now I have the power
To erase your sickness

Raise my magic hand and you're good for good
Raise my magic hand and your health returns
Your head goes back to normal and your brain is free
You're happier than you thought you could ever be

Your episodes go away
Your memory comes back
You have no fear of yourself

Raise my magic hand and you're good for good
Raise my magic hand and your health returns
Your head goes back to normal and your brain is free
You're happier than you thought you could ever be

But since, since this isn't true
Just know there's nothing I wouldn't do.  Nothing.
And, if I could make it so
I would do more, than you'll ever know

Your episodes go away
Your memory comes back
You have no fear of yourself

Raise my magic hand and you're good for good
Raise my magic hand and your health returns
Your head goes back to normal and your brain is free
You're happier than you thought you could ever be- be-be

PLAN R - "My Friend Is Dead" EP
Portland just keeps crancking out the punk gems. PLAN R play some rocking, early 80's SoCal-inspired punk rock. They are thrashy and punky, yet maintain a sense of melody. PLAN R comes complete with some Rollins-esque vocals supplied by singer Colin, who also does time with the Observers. Kick ass. (JF)

PLAN R IN THE INTERVIEW BOOTH Conducted by DJ Glower and Dr. Madness Transcribed by Jason Simms Portland often has a problem at shows with audience members standing still and crossing their arms. However, one band guaranteed to make the crowd get rowdy is local punk rock icons Plan R. This four piece recently brought a small entourage of “back-up singers” and hangers-on to a performance and interview on Trojan Meltdown, an all local music show on KPSU college radio 1450 AM. DJ Glower: Plan R has their audience participate in a group-dance called “The Bobsled” at every show right? Could you explain how the step? Plan R singer Colin: First of all, you have to have a line. If you’re doing this at home, you have to make sure your parents aren’t home, because stuff gets broken. Cali [a member of the entourage] and I will perform it right here [they proceed to act out the following steps]. Form a line, front to back. Put both arms out to the left side and start jogging in place, as if you’re at a bobsled match, and watching the luge. Then the leader, the person in the frontward-most position decides, “It’s about time to get into the bobsled,” so he or she goes ahead and hops to the left, and sits. Each person keeps jogging, and then, one by one, each joins the bobsled. Sitting all in a row, very close to each other, Indian style, make sure to have your hands on your neighbor’s shoulders. At this point, the frontward-most person leans in one direction, be it left or right. Everyone, one by one, slowly leans that direction. The leader hops back up and everyone slowly hops back up again. It’s silly; and it’s even sillier when explained. Dr. Madness: But you left out the way it always ends! Colin: Well this is the USA’s take on it, “The Bobsled” is originally from BC Canada. That’s a fact. Okay, we’ve done a bobsled, but where does it go? You’ve got these wily kids, and they want to rock and roll! You know, “The Bobsled” is fun, but now what? So the leader decides, “This bobsled is good and cooked; it’s time for a dogpile.” So he or she goes ahead and dives on top of the rest of the bobsled, and then everybody just gets sloppy and silly, and keep diving on top of each other, until somebody breaks something. Madness: But they don’t do this in Canada. This is only the Portland version right? Colin: Yes. If you go to Canada, and you’re doing one of the many bobsleds that they do, and you’re expecting the dogpile, they might give you dirty looks. People in Canada give dirty looks for many reasons, and that would be one of them. Madness: So if you go to a Plan R show, you will definitely do “The Bobsled,” right? Colin: Either that or you are TCTB: too cool to bobsled. Madness: There’s also a version of the dance for those people as well, correct? Colin: That’s a fact. That’s what’s known as “The Snobsled,” for those TCTB. We have them stand in place, and as they lean to the left say “I do not care for your crem tar-tar,” and as they lean to right say “Yanni.” Glower: So what do you guys think of Portland? Colin: As a matter of fact, I’m a big fan. Cali just made a fart noise with her hands. I disagree. If I could make a negative fart noise I would, and, I’d be a millionare. [phone rings] I can settle the first call. Between boxers and briefs: boxers. Caller: I’d like to ask Colin a few questions. Madness: He already said boxers, but go ahead. Caller: Okay, with your other band, The Manholes, why do you boycot the solid state? Colin: The Manholes are actually banned from the Solid State. The singer did get naked, and smash a fair amount of their equipment. Madness: Your song “Smash the State of Oregon” has a line “Fuck the OLCC, I’ll buy my beer in the ‘Couv.” Do you guys actually buy your beer in Washington? Colin: No Sir. Plan R guitar player Tony: I have before, but Plaid Pantry is my favorite. Glower: Speaking of the OLCC, would you like to discuss the tragic end of shows at Below Zero Records? Madness: Yes, in fact, I went to Below Zero last night for the Plan R show as advertised, and, finding it closed, knocked on the door and was told by the owner that he had canceled all the shows because kids were drinking outside. What do you guys know about that? Plan R drummer Jimmy: Well, it’s a crying shame. We never participated in that. Tony: Well, we’re not kids! Colin: The bar next door to Below Zero was frequented by members of Plan R. It sucks when kids drink outside of venues, because though it is ridiculous, it does get things shut down. Madness: I’ve been to a few shows there, but I’ve never actually seen anyone drinking there. Colin: Most people are respectful, but, unfortunately it only takes one or two people to get an entire venue shut down. Glower: Have you ever been targeted by the police for your controversial lyrics? Colin: We were actually targeted by the band The Police. I have this song, “Sting Can Suck My Chicken-Wing,” and he got lawyers involved, but I killed him and the world rules because of it. Madness: Plan R shows are extremely rowdy. Colin, your glasses are actually duct-taped together, and I believe they were broken at a show, is that true? Colin: They were broken at several shows. Madness: So it’s like “The Bobsled,” an even that happens at every Plan R show. Glower: I’ve seen Colin in real life, not at a show, and he was still wearing the duct-taped glasses. Colin: I even exist in real life! This is insane! Cali: I poured a drink down Colin’s pants at the last show. Madness: That was just the warm up to the dancing and smashing? Colin: I think that happens to most artists. I’ve seen Destiny’s Child, and, let me tell you, they had a few gin in tonics poured down their pants. Young Beyonce’s trousers were...expensive to say the least. [phone rings] Caller: Plan R has appeared as a three peice, I was wondering if they would like to comment on that? Jimmy: I have a job at which I have to work rather late, so when I have to miss a gig, Colin sings and plays drums, if you can imagine that. Colin: I’m sure you can’t because that’s never been done before in rock history. Glower: What’s the best song ever written? Colin: “Tough Boy’s a Punk” by Carlo Trenta and the Demons. Madness: The song’s called “ I wanna be Touched by a Punk?” Colin: No, “Tough-Boy-Is-A-Punk.” [phone rings] Caller: I want to be touched by a punk. Colin: Well that would be a job for our drummer, Jimmy R Marrone. The R stands for touching. Caller: Why do you talk shit about my friend Ray? Colin: He’s not your friend. You don’t like him. No one does. [The Minds’ “Rip Out Your Eyes” is played.] Glower: Is it me, or do they say “Portland Mercury suck my dick” in that song? Colin: They do. I know that their singer, The Thinker, Joel P. Jones, don’t call him JP, used to work there, and he didn’t enjoy it. I don’t know what went down, you’ll have to ask The Thinker. Madness: So The Manholes may or may not be boycotting Solid State, but where is your favorite place to play? Colin: I liked Below Zero a lot, and the Twilight’s up there. There a basement off Alberta that probably my favorite. Madness: Do you have the inside scoop on Below Zero? Do you know if it’s going to reopen? Colin: He was getting tired of having shows anyway because there kept being kids drinking, and there was minor hassling by the police, and also a weird thing happened where an ASSCAP called him and said that if he had bands there and they do cover songs that he owed him money. But the thing is, he never took any money from any of the shows. He just did it out of the kindness of his heart his because he had the space. It’s awesome that it lasted as long as it did. We need more places like that. Madness: Who are the other bands that compliment the Plan R experience? Colin: Carlo Trenta and the Demons. Honest answer: The Triggers, The Dischords, The Minds, The Fliptops, The Clorox Girls, and Riot Cop. Madness: The Dischords are still in highschool right? Colin: They just entered highschool. They’re 14-16 now, and they started when they were 12. They are so good. Madness: What was highschool like for Plan R? Tony: I didn’t graduate and I blame Ben Matlock. You know sometimes you didn’t get enough sleep and decide to stay home for a few classes, but then one o’clock rolls around it’s time for Matlock, so you skip the whole day and sometimes it’s the first part of a two-parter, which means you have to stay home the next day too. Madness: Colin were you valedictorian as your glasses would reflect? Tony: He was prom queen. Colin: Hey that’s not factual. I was homecoming queen, and I was very pretty. Madness: So vinyl is far superior to CD correct? Colin: CD are a big pile of poop. So you like cool stuff? You like Vinyl. Vinyl is rad. You get a CD and you’re like “This isn’t rad. You thought this was a good Christmas present, Mom?” Tony: Then your grandma puts the needle on the CD. Madness: So that’s why it’s better? Grandma knows how to use vinyl? Colin: Exactly. Madness: If anyone is interested in shows Plan R did in June, they can check out www.planrdudes.com. I went there and I don’t think it’s been updated in a while. Colin: Willie, our bass player, is our website. He walks up to you and says “F-A-Q,” and people say “Where did you get your name?” Well, he begins...[phone rings] Caller: Mad props to the band tonight. Colin: Mad props in your face, dude. Caller: I always wanted props in my face. Colin: I’ll tell you this: if you know any gaffers or key grips they’ve got so many props it’s unbelievable. The best boy is low on props. They just call him that so he doesn’t feel bad. He is the eight best. Madness: We’re about done here, but I was wondering if you care to explain the song “Smash the State of Oregon.” Colin: Willie wrote those and snuck them over from Vietnam in his pancreas. Madness: I like that tune because it attacks some things about Oregon that are worth smashing, but then also attacks random things like Tri-Met, assisted suicide, and no sales tax. Are you trying to make fun of bands that take themselves too seriously? Colin: I wish I could say, “I wrote that in a political manner to try to show the frailty of the fact that most political answers are actually questions in and of themselves,” but the fact is I saw “Smash the State” written on the sidewalk once, and I was like “huh-huh, of Oregon.” Glower: Will you update the song to include Kulungowski? (The song already personally insults former Oregon goveners and Portland mayors). Colin: Not gonna do it. Madness: Do you think that the punk scene was better under former govenors? Colin: Well, I’ll tell you, Barbara Robert’s band kicked ass. They were called The Chick Govenors From Salem, and I learned a lot from them. I think there are more oportunities now for punk bands, but a lot them are wierd. The Paris Theater sucks because they are only in it for the money and the bouncers are mean to the kids. There are a couple of other places that are Jesus related, and that’s not cool. The people who run The Meow Meow and Solid State are great people and I like them, but I just wish their venues weren’t Jesus related, because we aren’t supporters of Jesusism.