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...AmBeR NiCoLeXXX...

Last Updated: 11/30/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 100
Sign: Taurus

City: Orange County California/ Draper
State: Utah
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/18/2004

Blog Archive

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Friday, June 16, 2006

GoOd TimEs @ ThE MoRgUe!!!
Current mood:

chipper

.........defenitly good times! hahaha

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2 Kudos

Friday, April 28, 2006

~*RANDOM POEM I WROTE!!!*~

your body is cold and the only thing you can hear is the beat of my heart. i try to concentrate but its hard with you so close and yet so far apart.

i pick up the needle, its the time where i begin and you end. most people wouldnt be able to do it, but i dont know you, you were never my friend.

the blood drains from your veins, you're body turns more pale. the color in your body continues to fade from the tips of each and every nail.

one bullet went straight through the top of your head, and i know death isnt fun. the angle of the bullets entry tells me you were kneeling, under the gun.

like a butcher i cut into your flesh. with a scalpul and probes i remove one bullet from your chest.

while cutting the tissue i pull your skin back. everything in place but life is what you lack.

i cut through your muscle and reach your rib cage, i peel the muscle back, like a book i turn the page.

sawing through your ribs starts a new chapter, a serious moment in time, one with no laughter.

like opening a box i remove your ribs to let more of you show, the bullets entered your body but where they went i have yet to know.

two more bullets recovered after moving your organs around, by the bruises and burns on your wrists you were obviously bound.

with unanswered questions and blood on my gloves i continue to look, for a final conclusion to what happened so i may finish the last chapter of your book.

not one but five bullets enetered your chest that night, one through the head, and three on the right.

the last bullet i found was in a symbolic place, not through your arm, leg, or now deformed face.

im there right above you with your heart literally in my hand, amazed at what im seeing frozen where i stand.

the fifth and final bullet was there as i cut and split it apart, it didnt go through, it just pierced and stayed in your heart.

at this point i wonder if there is more to all of this. is there something im not seeing or something i may miss.

i look through your clothes and get your wallet to find out your name. to my suprise i find a note that reads "now you know how it feels to lose at your own game."

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3 Kudos

Saturday, March 25, 2006

[{[A POem For THe Worst Person On Earth]}]
Current mood:

pissed off

at some point in my life i will have to face you again. and you will act like everything is ok and ask me how ive been. most likely you'll piss me off as you always do and to be honest at that point ill most likely want to hit you. ill tell you how you've hurt me and are doing it still and you'll come off with some bullshit about how you are to and how you want me to believe you but do you think i will? you've hurt me my whole life in the worst possible way. you hurt me emottionally and you continue to hurt me even today. you think ill be better if you act really nice, but i see right through you, right to your heart made of ice. i can honestly say i hate you and i hate that i do. and i know alot of other people that hate you too.i want you out of my life forever, starting now. you left your own children and i dont know how. i mean did you really not like us to the point where you had to go? i see people with their mothers and i have a mother that i honestly dont even know. but fromw hat i do know and what you've done. i know you left a husband, two daughters, and a son. i know you're a whore that ill never come to love. i know that when you die you will not be making it to a better life up above. you will rot in a place thats worse than a jail cell. so fuck you MOM, and bitch go to hell....

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3 Kudos

Thursday, January 05, 2006

[[ThE MaSk I WeAr]]
Current mood:

depressed

A mask of plastic happiness often covers my sadness
my beliefs hidden from most
Afraid of, but willing to face the unknown
Wondering where my place is in this life
i have come close to sharing myself
Never completely revealing anything to anyone
Feelings of invisible chains corner me
When i dream, reality shatters before my very eyes
Accomplishments i strive for just at hands grasp
i feel lost sometimes, not yet finding my notch in this world
At times the glimmer in my calm eyes slowly disappears
But within my heart a silent flame burns inside and out
i roam day by day, playing roles
Strength unknowingly resides in me
History repeats itself once again
The translucent veil i so proudly wear
Little by little answers will come, pushing it aside
One day there will be no more mask for me to wear
One day my feelings will be known
One day i'll know my place in this life
One day i will share myself and know that i am loved bye someone, somewhere
ONE DAY this mask will be NO MORE

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5 Kudos

Thursday, December 29, 2005

ThE PoEm I WrOtE FoR My BrO BeFoRe He LeFt!!
Current mood:

calm

Open your arms to change, but please don’t lose yourself. You are what makes you who you are in sickness and in health

A friendly atmosphere has made you who you are to be. Your character is in charge and will control your destiny. You’ll go someplace you’ve never gone, you’ll make your mark again, You will set your standards, and sure will make new friends. As soon as today is yesterday your heart will always give. I hope you won’t regret today, cause your future longs to live. My eyes will see things they’ve never seen, but I’ve always been here. The time that counts your moments gone will teach me not to fear. You’ll look upon your life and see familiar grounds. You’ll hear the call of memories and recognize the sound. All the lives you change will make stars disappear, And as you’re settled down, you’ll realize you’ve never left here. You never left this house, this place, my heart. You will always be here, and it will be as though we arent apart. With this expirience both of us will grow stronger. Even though days from now on will seem so much longer. I know I will see you in two years from now. I know you will adapt to this new way of life some way, some how. You arent really one to wake up earlier and not go to bed late. But its ok because you will learn how, you have to, its your fate. Listen to your companions, some can teach you a lot. Learn from your expiriences and teach what needs to be taught. This has to be the most emotional poem, and the most emotional night. And I find its hard to not cry as I continue to write. The tears will soon stop, in a few days this I know. I feel that saying goodbye to you isnt real, it cant be so. Then I come back to realize it is all happening and a little to fast. But I will count down the days until I see you again at last. Know that I love you, make it something you never forget. You will do so great there and change lives I bet. And as you change the lives of others yours will change as well. And I know you will have many stories to tell. I look forward to the emails and letters and those few calls. You will have good days and those days when it all falls. But stay strong and know that it will be ok. It can only get better day after day. I leave you now with a few more things. Spread the gospel and spread your wings. Come back to me as the bruce I know, but of course stronger. And still help people and make the missionary work last even longer. You will love it over there when you go. this is something i feel strongly about, something I know. I love you bruce, my brother, my friend. You will always be in my heart. Forever…til the end.

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2 Kudos

Saturday, August 06, 2005

*~*A Poem For My Dad!!*~*
Current mood:

frustrated

ok so basically all of my blogs are going to be poems i have written and stuff like that....and i have never really put my poems out for others to read so if you like it tell me...if you hate it tell me! i wont get mad lol i like the critizism! ok well this one i wrote for my dad....here it goes..

in a way i hate you for leaving, though i know its not your fault. when i got that phone call my whole life was at a hault.

on the phone he was telling me what happened and i wished it were all lies. "your dad is dead," the doctor said and his words they hurt like knvies.

of all the people who could of gone you had to be the one. your time with me was short and unfortunatly now its done.

i miss you more day by day i wish you could be here now. i try to be strong but with you gone i just dont know how.

a single tear falls from my face as i think about the past. but the pain of your death is fading now, fading now at last.

-amber kennison

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4 Kudos