WAY OF LIFE…I suppose your reading this because you wanna get more out of life. You want success, don't you? Who would not? You're doing the right thing to assure future happiness. I think that you owe this to yourself. Happiness is out there. But it's up to you alone. You have to go out and find it. You only have so much time. I see you here alone, I see wasted potential. How can you become more effective; you must be proactive; make it a way of life; build winning relationships; you have got to want it. Happiness is out there with a healthy perspective. You have to go out and find it. Only you know what you want. You only have so much time. A step in the right direction. You must not be distracted. Keep the end in mind...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
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Old man why are you resting there is daylight left and so many more fish to catch / I already have enough for tonight / then sell the excess / Strange why would I want to do that / why you could buy a larger boat of course; the possibilities are endless don't you see; such a shame; you have such exceptional skill my friend; sad to watch it go to waste; a goldmine of human potential; so sad; you could rise above…you could earn so much; keep your family warm at night; you could rise above; poor old man you simply don't understand the notion of accumulation how could I let you go on impotent…I will help you; teach you; make you; trust me I can show you how to become one of; trust me you will thank me.
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I don't remember any of it! Where was I? Where Have I been? Careful with the records. You show them to me. The records are swell! They are. I must be so proud. Look what I'm leaving behind. Look at all that I have been; all that I have seen; all that I have done. The pictures are all right here. Why can't I remember these faces? So many colors; you remember. I am so proud! A pat on the back. Where was I? Tell me more! It sounds wonderful. I was so beautiful. I was so loved. How did I do it? Not anybody can do what I have done. You will remember me, wont you? You will. Who are you? I love you. You love me. We had a love you don't find everyday. I did it. Yes. I made it. How lucky I am. So strange that I can not remember. It was so grand. I did it right. It is all right here. Others will follow in my footsteps. I did do it right. Thank you. I just kept the end in mind, didn't I? I must have!
APPARATUS…it was showing me all that it does for me and how indebted i am; how improved; this miracle born of greater minds than my own; saving me from a life without; it was showing me all that it does for me and how it keeps me safe at night; bathing and feeding me; lighting my way; propelling me; enlightening; showing me just what i need; how good to know; telling me that i cannot go without; how incomplete i am; showing me right where I would go wrong; it tells me that there is no other way;
but i can remember an existence before; i can remember walking; i don't need this anymore; i can see without this; get this out of my eyes; get this off of my skin; i'm ready; take it down; hold it's mindless blind head under.
SNEEZE, SWALLOW, EXHALE, BLINK…the path unrestricted for so long; this nervous energy now a gag reflex - sneeze, swallow, exhale, blink – without sufficient interruption to necessitate consciousness; uncontrollable; path of least resistance; there's no need for the mind's interruption; saving the cost of consciousness; streamline; excitation; chemical determinism; am i even remotely aware of this part of me; do i have any experience of this part of me; can i have it; it's so easy; i don't remember; i was unaware; autonomic; the shortest path between two points…
PROCESSION…once i have it; once i'm there; once i see; once i touch; once i show you; once i'm there; once i see; once i touch; but until then i will hold my breath and grit my teeth for it; i've just been preparing; i will not rest; father i'm tired; i will not falter; i will not rest; i will hold my breath; i will not lose sight of it; i've just been getting ready for this; all this time…
A FOOL'S HOPE...we are benevolent hegemony, a new world order, frontiers men. we come to your land with a better way, show you how you need us / i am cultural diversity, an overlooked human element. i don't understand / we are inevitability. we are exploitation. we are use. our pragmatism guides your every move. and you are a rational being / i am humor / we are profit motive. scarce resources. what else do you want? we'll place you somewhere along the production possibility frontier. we are self interest. we provide.
(and yet you insist upon existence beyond any illusory form)
we are determinism, a prime mover behind the curtain. we condition your response, provide reinforcement / i am language capable of expressing a coherent idea never taught me / we are ideology. our shrinking lexicon contains your dialogue / i am ideas that words cannot express anyway / we are mass mindedness, propaganda. Who do you think you are? we'll place you somewhere along the ideal average. we are statistical man.
we are what will be done to survive / i am what will be survived for / we are survival of the fittest / i am self expression / we are self evident / i am self exploration / we are inevitable and we have charted your territory / i am a forked path, multiple histories / we are a worldline / i am dice and god plays / we are chess and god plays. we are strategy, game theory, a function of x / and yet i am hidden behavior, a discontinuity, a point of inflection / we are structure, form, order and logic. we govern with mathematical certainty / i am anarchy i am chaos i am choice.
SURREAL…i'm ready; this is me rising above the clouds; breaking the chains that bind; how does it feel; it must feel wonderful; what all men dream of; yet never experience what i know right now this must be; this must be an experience of a lifetime; this is me exercising my will; ultimate display of dominion over my external reality; so this is what it feels like; conquering gravity; anyone would be ecstatic to be me right now; i break free; i harness; i take one step; i propel; i conquer; i climb; i achieve flight; i attain godspeed; i exit the atmosphere; is it like i dreamt; like a photograph; a lifetime justified, a lifetime summed up; lived for; realized; captured as i reach…as if in a photograph as if in a photograph…
MECHANICS…reducible to fundamental laws; i can/will exorcise the machine; something that's outside of me; distinguish between myself and the world; so i play my cards after i make my calculations; a player in the world, and i'm isolated; i am equipped with this apparatus, and through it i may have effect; i may reach out and touch, and i am effected;
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i am the world that i believe surrounds me; i am that which i believe happens to me; i am that which i think i reach out and touch; and i see that there is no need…
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Set the conditions; alter; engineer; manufacture; manipulate; take control; seek dominion; one must take control now; does one not want results?
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i've got a simple fucking mind; i've got a simplemonkeyfuckinghypocrit mind; i've got a simplemonkeyfingerpointin mind;
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i will not be rendered impotent now. no. i will not take a passive stance now. no. i will not let… i will deliberate; i'll do what it takes; i'll play my fucking hand; i'll see to it…
and the chips fall before my eyes un-effected by any effort of mine; i watch as if before a screen; how well exorcised.
ooh i get it how clever prime mover you how cute; i appreciate the humor; hilarious initial conditions cranked into fruition by these gears laughing; prime mover you cheeky monkey golly; i hate; i had it; i should/could/would have.
ESCAPE ARTIST…slaves we are servants to this sculpture; we love and hate and need and reject it; slaves we are servants to this sculpture; we love and hate and keep it warm; slaves we are servants to this sculpture; we love and hate and drink its blood; but all we on we owe…
somewhere else; some other time; some other experience, some other explanation; of some other scene; in some other fact; some other structure; some other organization state; the fruits of some other fertile land; some other breath of fresh air; beneath some other sky; some other nakedness witnessed by some other moon; on some other lakeside.
this is not me; this is not happening here; i cannot except this; i cannot face this immediacy; am i touching the face of it now i reject; and as i again turn away from it; as i desensitize; as i kneel down to pick up my pieces; i am back on that ever consoling notion; "that old familiar state"; "it's my life, and it's my wife" waiting for me; knowing i'd return; looking ahead; foreseeing; saying 'i will make it a means, i'll build…'
ooh i can see where this obvious trend is leading; in the name of fore sight and the notion of accumulation…begs the question…
'see hands in the sky; there will then be words that will document it; they await you now; there will then be bright eyes to tell you you've made it at last.'
GROTESQUE…seeing tree farms and solar panels and radio towers and flags on mountaintops…
-constructing -not wasting time
-apposing my thumbs -answering ambiguities
-walking upright -herding deviations
-fashioning -noting cycles
-asserting will -timing fertility
…i had to make sure, because it might not work out. with all that could go wrong how stand idle? for i was seeing all that could be done…
-adamant -weathering ceaseless
-tireless activity
-searching -my blind and violent
-an eye open at a business
all times -what sick image of
-taxonomy upon improvement had i
my tongue in my criminal mind
-and yet here it was that i might spill
all along upon such a gift…
…how unutterably perfect without me ever touching it. shame on me for overlooking it.
preoccupied with my petty and losing battle with entropy on this doomed flight above inevitability; all my eyes in all directions; my feet stepping on her; my clenching fists and teeth; shame on me shame on me shame on me…
for standing ungrateful on the shoulders of such fortuitous circumstance; shame on me for watching it die young…
look at where we are; all this time; look what is around me now; all this time all this time; how could i…
…and fruit and sun and depth perception and light and snow and truth and brotherhood and wind and nakedness and exhilaration and fertility and trees and their long shadows…amphibians and crickets…love songs…my noise…this old growth…my progress.
THE LIGHT…adrenal glands awoke to loud beaten skins and the sun shown on breastplates bearing a thousand red lambdas; tight aiming strings hard minds look to a last night, leave a thousand mothers; privileged are the eyes that can see the end for which we train our men; and all the trenches dug in the ground; let the flags fly high…
witness the red glare of rockets as our boys stand tall; see our out-stretched arm of purpose guiding arrows home…
…hear these words from my dying lips…
men have fought and killed and died with this in mind.
remember; don't you look away; don't you dare; look away my son; don't you ever; promise me…
/
i'm looking right at it; i can't see it.