This is an email sent to a friend of ours (becca) who had recommended us to Stevie L. Reading between the lines a little, I think it's fair to say that he thinks we are 'A Shining Beacon of Sonic Invention That Made Me Weep Bitter Tears Of Undiluted JOY.' He didn't choose to word it exactly like that, but we guess that is what he meant when he uses the word "something." 

RE: hello
Body:
you're right. It's a bit rough round the edges but it's definitely got something.
Will keep and eye on them
thanks for the tip-off

cheers

steve

First thing's first. I can catagorically say, for the record, that I cannot bear the strain a second longer. As the morbid weight of my pathetic tissue of lies causes it's ignoble collapse around my shamefully burning ears, a distant, lambent glow whispers the sultry word of 'Absolution' directly into my conscience. I just gotta come clean.

At Liam's party it was me who wrote 'Steve Slagter is over-rated' on the wall.

There, I said it.

Who the fuck are the Rakes anyway?
Did they do that song 'It's a right 22 grand job and a barrel o monkeys in the city, cor blimey'?
Because if they did then I don't reckon I like them.
But my mate Lee said that the first 3 tracks off their album were the best opening songs, ever. Sooooo........

I've always been a jerky bastard though. Barton's the same. Slagter too, to a lesser extent. People find this irregularity of movement very easy to remember, in my experience. People are always coming up to me (critics, wags naysayers and the like,) and telling me that. They say "Paul! Or whatever your name is! Slow your (inexplicably fast) pace momentarily so that I may congratulate you on having such a memorably jerky band!"

I remain gracious, obviously, even though I don't really mean it, but as I always say; 'Sneer not, lest thee be... etc', and at the end of the day, that's showbiz, isn't it? And I fucking hate it when people call me Paul.

Bloody lovely review though.

The songs from this here Myspace have been reviewed on God Is In The Tv, more specifically right here

FFF.

 

Fuck everyone.

I'm working in a fucking shitty production line making fucking insulin pens or some fucking shit and it's five fucking quid an hour or some fucking thing and there aren't any other fucking jobs in this shit hole so i'm fucking stuck in this bastard fucking place all fucking summer, fuck you very fucking much indeed.

Hope everyone is well.

Pete
x

p.s I crashed my fucking Vespa the other day. On the way to fucking work, incidently. Those fucking bastards have got a lot to answer for.

Forms Forms Forms are set to sign a deal with 'Panini' after negotiations with the sticker giant 'Merlin' fell through regarding the format of a number of shiny stickers falsly depicting joe barton as drummer of the three piece. The official licensed Panini album will consist of 436 photos and pencil sketches of the band.

"Stevo and the boy Barton comprise rock's mightiest engine room"

"Forms Forms Forms are to pop music what the Sex Pistols were to rock"

"The band's name is a comment on beaurocracy in the 21st century"

"The band's name is an incredible evocation of nameless shapes and matter, evolving in an anonymous void"

"The band's name is the worst since !!!"

"The band's name is ripping off another sassy 3-piece: Destiny's Child and their dubiously feminist hit single 'Bills, Bills, Bills'"

"Pete was a television child star;- most notably as Macauly 'Milkybar' Culkin's body-double in the box office hit film Richie Rich"

"Steve 'Showbiz' Slagter is currently rumoured to be dating Barbara 'Babs' Windsor"

"Joe Barton is a strong contender to turn on Durham's extensive Christmas light display in either 2008 or 2009."

"Scientists have found that the acclaimed FFF track 'Words (Don't) Sing' is officially 42% more infectious than polio and typhoid combined."

"Canon Fodder - a political message for our age of inertia."

"Pete is unsure whether or not to continue with the band or devote his life to hunting down and killing every last middle-aged idiot who wears converse all-star and beads and secretly thinks that they're cooler than their kids."

"Joe is forming a tribute band to Paul 'Macca' McCartney's post Beatles outfit. 'Wings on the Run' will feature Fran Healey on rhythm guitar and marimbas, and commence a nationwide tour of Esso service stations on July 17th."

"Steve is yet to meet a man he doesn't hate."

*(Anon)