So I got the idea to do this after seeing
this. Basically this guy counted down the 10 songs that made him Queer. So I figured I'd do my own list. Obviously these songs didn't make me queer,
honey I was flaming out the womb!!! But they sure as hell helped!! Without further ado...
10:
Madonna Lucky Star. From the ages of 6-10 I was
obsessed w/ Madonna. The culmination of my Madonna fandom was when I was 8 my friends and I had "rock parties" where we would dress up in our coolest clothes (mind you this was 1985) and lip synch to our favorite songs. I chose this song and I wore breakdancer clothes and somehow knew the choreography to this entire song. Go figure. Did I mention I also broke my ankle at age 10 trying to roller skate/dance to
Papa Don't Preach?
9: Exposé Come Go With Me. I could have chosen any Exposé song, but this was the first one I ever heard at age 10. Because of Exposé I became obsessed w/ girl groups and the cheesiest musical genre to ever exist, Freestyle! My dream came true when in late 06 they reunited and performed in Milwaukee (my hometown) and I got to meet them!
8: Patricia Manterola Niña Bonita. Let's fast forward a little bit to 1997. I was 20. Still doubting my sexuality, and then this song comes out. It was like a gay disco romp en español, and I could never understand why I liked it as much as I did. LOL.
7: Dolly Parton 9 to 5. If you look through my pictures you might have stumbled upon a photo of me at age 10 dressed as Dolly Parton for Halloween. Yes you read that right. Age 10 I went to school for Halloween dressed as Dolly Parton. And when I was a kid I not only loved this song but also the movie of the same name. Who knew Dolly would be my first drag experience?
6: Tiffany Radio Romance. Most gay men I know, when they find a diva they stick with them for life. In my case there are too many to name that I've been faithful to over the years. But if there is one that holds a special place in my heart all these years still it would be Tiffany (did I mention I met my partner at a Tiffany concert back in 03?)...what better song than this camptastic classic (in my book at least). Cheap video, dated song for 1989, but I couldn't get enough of her. Still can't. Adore this woman.
5: Samantha Fox Naughty Girls Need Love Too. Can there be anyone sluttier than Samantha Fox? She was a sexpot and probably every boys crush back in the day. Not mine, I think I wanted to be her! LOL. I remember parading around in my room lipsynching to this like there was no tomorrow. Samantha not only taught us that naughty girls need love, but that more importantly trampy ones do too!
4: Vanity Pretty Mess. After seeing the craptastic 80s movie The Last Dragon I fell in love w/ Vanity and begged my mother to buy me her cassette. I remember listening to it a few times and then it mysteriously disappeared. I think my mom must have heard this song that her 8 year old son was gushing over. What do you think?
3: Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch Good Vibrations. Ok so you're probably thinking to yourself, this song isn't gay like the others (ok other than the fact that Loletta Holloway is wailing on this track like there's no tomorrow). Oh but it is. See I was about 15 when this song came on and that is prime puberty time. Watching a buff Marky Mark parade around in his oh so tight Calvin Kleins grabbing his junk was like porn to me. Let's just say there were some special moments between Marky Mark, me, some vaseline and my hand. LOL.
2: Bibi Gaytán Mucha mujer para ti. So if you don't know, at age 15 I had to relearn how to speak Spanish. I haven't always been the fresa that you all know and love today. Around that time I became infatuated w/ Spanish language television, music, etc. There wasn't a Sunday you wouldn't find me glued to the TV. Why? Siempre en Domingo introduced me to Bibi Gaytán. My god was she gorgeous!!! This song roughly translates to "Too much woman for you". I made my parents take me to see her in concert at a festival here in Chicago (Viva México) and years later I would finally meet this woman. Here in Chicago, how about that? Might I mention she is still absolutely stunning! I think my parents had a glimmer of hope that I liked women because my bedroom in high school was plastered w/ her pictures, posters, etc. In actuality I think I just wanted to be her too. What better way to learn Spanish that via slutty singers!
1: Martika More Than You Know. Ok you knew this was coming. Could it be anyone else? If you know me, you know Martika and I go way back. I'm talking Kids Incorporated people. By the time I was 12 this woman had become my life. LOL. Here was this gorgeous latina pop singer, finally someone I could relate too. Didn't you know I was a gorgeous latina pop singer on the side? LOL! I remember that she opened for Rick Astley and they were playing the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee. Well the one and only time in my life I was grounded was the same day this show was taking place. I remember I cried my eyes out because I couldn't see Martika in concert. Oh what a little drama queen! Who knew years later amidst her obscurity we'd end up emailing one another (not w/out some drama of our own but that's all over now). To this day I have a fondness for ladies w/ long chins and short hair. I can do a mean Martika, just ask anyone who caught me at karaoke the other night. So without further ado, the 1 song that made me a big ol homo...
This was a blast! I am going to have to come up w/ some more Top 10 lists to share w/ you all!