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THE CHUNG!!

David Chung


Last Updated: 12/2/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Engaged
Age: 27
Sign: Taurus

City: Los Angeles
State: Utah
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/24/2004

Blog Archive
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Sunday, August 03, 2008 
you have to click on the link  to read the blog...it's too hot to put too much effort into myspace right now.

http://chungfortunecookie.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html
Monday, June 23, 2008 

Current mood:  touched
I just wanted to give everybody a heads up on the upcoming "CRAZIANS!" show at the World of Wonder gallery down in Hollywood which opens July 11th and runs until August 4th, 2008.

World of Wonder
6650 Hollywood Blvd
Sutie 400
Los Angeles, CA 90028

Call them at(323)603-6300 if you are interested in purchasing any of the pieces.


The show follows the theme of rising Asian American artists and the cultural influences on their art. As America's endless fascination with "the East," the show takes a look at how our generation of Asian American artists interpret the phenomenon. Seeing how i am completely awesome and not just because i'm asian, I have been asked to be a part of this show...ok i'm sure that it's mainly because i'm asian...but...just check out the piece i did for it already. damn.
it's my version of the legendary ghost hunter : Zhong Kui!


Title: "Zhong Kui: The Evil Effer Upper"
Medium: acrylic on paper
size: 8" x 10"

so who is this "Zhong Kui" you ask?? and why is he such a badass? well, i'm really no expert on the subject, but my mom used to tell me stories about this Chinese demon slayer muthafoodger when i was a kid, and his name was Zhong Kui (take note, in chinese, the surname "Zhong" is the same as "Chung"..therefore, i am badass by association). So anyways, here's my interpertation of him from what my mom told me as a kid and also from what i've read in chinese folktale books and of course wikipedia.

Anyways, Zhong Kui used to be this crazy ass scholar from the Tang dynasty or somewhere around then, who wanted to take this imperial exam to be let into the gates of awesomness. On his journey to take his SATs he stops at a temple to have dinner with some monks, and because he's such a crazy bastard, he drinks all their chinese wine and gets sloppy drunk and starts bad mouthing all the demons in hell. saying things like, " Man eff those dicks! i'll kill all of them, those dirty doucheballs!"
The demons in hell having heard him badmouthing them, decides to take a magic marker and draw on his face while he was drunk and passed out on the monk's couch. they originally had drawn a dick on the side of his face pointing to his mouth, but it smeared so they covered it up with a big black beard and then gave him a unibrow too.

Finally having made it to take his exam, he passes with an A+ and even got a scratch and sniff strawberry scented sticker on the front, but when the examiners saw how ridiculous he looked with all that magic marker on his face, they took it away from him and he failed. Completely pissed off he decided to take revenge on them by doing a triple mega hurricane backflip off the roof head first onto the steps of the palace and plaster his brain juice all over the place for them to clean up. He died 2 hours later laughing to death.

After he died and got sent to hell, everybody saw what he had done and thought he was the ultimate badass, and was given 3,000 soldiers to go out and kill demons on earth. Then one night when the emperor was sleeping in his cozy palace bed, a demon sneaked into his place and stole his favorite jade flute and his concubine's purse which contained all of her B.C. pills. The emperor awoke to this and screamed like a little girl, then out of no where Zhong Kui appears and rips out the demons eyes. And just to show off his awesome finishing move, Zhong Kui picks up the demon and eats him as if he were a burrito! The emperor was so grateful and impressed he asked him who he was, to which he got in response, "I'm Zhong Kui, you sloppy bastard. The demon slayer." then in a POOF! OF SMOKE!!...he walks away.

The next day the emperor was so stoked that he got to meet the demon slayer, went to the police and had their sketch artist paint him a portrait of Zhong Kui so that he could tape it on his door next to his poster of AC/DC

So from then on, the chinese people have been putting pictures of Zhong Kui on their front doors of their homes and places of business for ages as a symbol of protection against evil spirits and local assholes. And that's why you don't leave the air conditioning running when you leave your home either.

Well, there you have it, the incredible story of Zhong Kui and why everybody should own a print of him so you can put him on your front door or anywhere in your home for that matter. If any of you are interested in having the above piece of art replicated  as a print for you to own at a reasonably affordable price, please leave a comment below and i'll see what i can do. 
Thursday, May 01, 2008 

this is awesome! magic powder that you sprinkle on your missing body parts will regrow your EXISTENCE!!




so that was mad cool...in other subjects since i'm posting a blog apparently, is there anybody that wants to join Netflix? if you do let me know! netflix set up this deal that if pre-existing members get other non-members to join, you can get a whole month for FREE!!! my reward is that i get an extra dvd per month :) let me know if anybody wants to join! first come first serve


by the way, while i'm talking about netflix...damnit. IT'S SO AWESOME!! i don't know why i didn't join way long time ago. they got this "instant watch" thing included with most plans that allows you to watch movies and tv shows streaming online on your PC. and the quality is the TITS! on top of that ive been renting so many freaking movies its retarded. luckily i have a job where i can pop in 4 movies a day while i work, so again...THE TITS!! but even if i quit my job tomorrow, i'd be at home watching movies all ding dong day. TITS!!! ok well i'm done advertising for netflix...but..i love it so much...


SERIOUSLY!! if you're not a member already...YOU MUST JOIN!! also it'll make your penis grow larger and/or your boobs bigger and firmer.



TITS!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 
really quick post right now, but only because i have nobody else to talk to at this hour and my brain is about to blast diarrhea all over my skull bones if i don't get this out. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO GET OUT!! but i just spent the past 2 hours trying to do the math on seeing how much my work owes me since the beginning of 2008...and, well. IT'S A LOT! BALLS! TITS!! HAIRY PATCHES OF GENITALS!!
i think i'm more pissed right now because that was 2 hours i could have spent painting and instead i had to do math. I HATE MATH! on top of doing math, my pants got snagged on my chair when i got up to retrieve a print out of my invoice and i slammed myself into the floor. Luckily my elbow broke my fall on the corner of the table. unfortunately i spit out my last piece of chewing gum. DAMN you want to talk about unfortunate though?! a few night ago as i was getting ready for bed, i changed out of my pants, and thinking that i was going to be wearing the same pair of pants the next morning, i left the belt with the really heavy belt buckle in them to save time. So as i went to throw my pants over my hands in an attempt to fold them while walking towards my closet, the belt buckle swings under and UP into my testiclytes. i couldn't tell you how fast i hit the floor and curled up into myself. i hadn't been hit in the balls since i was a kid. i forgot how horrible it is. my muscles clenched themselves so hard from the pain i just about pooped and threw up at the same time.

and Speaking of things that happen in my apartment, i just got myself a room mate; a friend from Detroit, Shaunna. She actually used to be Desiree's old room mate. anyways she just moved out to LA, so i said she can pay for half the rent and live in the other half of the place. i got a big 1 1/2 room apartment so it hasn't been much of a change since she moved in. Honestly though, so far she's been one of the best room mates i've ever had. She cleans up after herself, is quiet, plus we both work so much we're either out at work while the other is at home or if we're both home we're in our own separate rooms working. so i have absolutely no complaints.
Although i do generally keep my door closed when i'm in my room, i've been doing it more since she moved in. Mainly just out of courtesy. you don't want to know what goes on half the time behind these doors. However sometimes the truth might be less shocking than what it seems. Late last night i was priming 3 canvases at a time with some brown house paints, i'm a clumsy person so not surprisingly i got gobs and goops of brown paint all over my hands and knees. Trying not to get paint all over my door knob to leave and wash up, i grabbed a wad of toilet paper to wipe myself with and to cover the door knob...well, let's just say that if you saw me coming out of my room looking the way i did, you'd jump to conclusions too. psshh whatever.

man i think i'm talking more than i should right now. but oh yeah! TODAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY APPARENTLY! i got to work this morning and the crew hands me a card and a bag filled with candy and toys from the dollar store. it was pretty damn awesome! i swear if it weren't for the people i work with, i'd have no trouble leaving that place.
ok well i've bored enough people for now, so i think i'm going to go take a shower then eat some candy. but before i go, here's a rough sketch of what i'll be painting next:



Wednesday, April 02, 2008 

Current mood:  virginal
Wednesday, February 27, 2008 

Current mood:  virginal

and i've been so busy i'm just going to redirect you to my other blog so i don't have to copy and paste what i've already typed up there here.

http://chungfortunecookie.blogspot.com/2008/02/holy-balls-ive-been-busy.html

also, yes...i've been watching a lot of  The Office lately at the office. it makes life at work that much more tolerable. i'm currently obsessed with the show. and i have a huge crush on Jenna Fischer. sorry Desiree.

oh speaking of which...i am also now engaged. CONGRATULATE ME!

Currently reading:
The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed
By Mystery
Release date: 06 February, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007 
Tuesday, August 14, 2007 

"Guy's Guys" Show opens tomorrow, Tues Aug. 14th at Gallery 1988 7pm-11pm

www.gallery1988.com

http://chungfortunecookie.blogspot.com/2007/07/guys-guys-show.html

 

Friday, July 20, 2007 

read about what went down through my POV at the Crazy 4 Cult show at Gallery 1988 this tuesday. it was nuts.

http://chungfortunecookie.blogspot.com/2007/07/just-wait-for-it.html

Sunday, September 03, 2006 

Current mood:  nauseated
hello morton, i have incredible news for you listen doing. i am having new blog machine...you like read? ok. you are kind happy birthday. thanks continue here: http://chungfortunecookie.blogspot.com/