Well, my most recent status has generated a buzz (somewhat) and some have found it quite comical. That wasn't my intent, but it is what it is. The infamous line (So I think I'm just about over being your girlfriend...I'm leaving) actually is part of the chorus to Chrisette Michele's new single "Epiphany." I saw her perform it this past weekend in Charlotte, and now I can't stop listening to it. It wasn't directed towards anyone-- however, it DID get me to thinking....

Ladies, why is it that we ALLOW men to treat us any old way and run in and out of our lives without consequence? Each time, we allow him BACK in to only go through the same foolishness over and over again accompanied by the empty promises of change. We invest our hearts into this stock that has not SHOWN ANY SIGN of return in the past in hopes that eventually we'll hit the JACKPOT!! We spend countless hours imagining the possibilities instead of investing in something more stable AND tangible.

I tend to think and write in analogies because they're more fun to interpret and I'm a thinker. To put it in plain terms...why do we always want to give the brother who isn't meeting our needs multiple chances but always leave the good brother that wants to spend time with you and treat you the way you deserve out in the cold? Maybe I'm the only one that does this....but yesterday it came to me, like an Epiphany. I'm leaving.... and I'm not leaving a person- but a mentality...and with the release of that mentality, some folks are just going to automatically have to fall off.....

I'm leaving behind those times I wondered whether you really cared or if I was just on standby....
I'm leaving behind all of the empty conversations about what we could be..
I'm leaving behind the thoughts of being your girlfriend...and anything that I might have envisioned beyond that..
I'm leaving behind the fact that there was never anything there....WTF
I'm leaving for something better...because I deserve that much.......

After I let the words to the song sink in, I asked myself, why the heck am I still doing this? How is this enriching my life? How is this inspiring me to become a better person? Hell, it's not. Why do we hold onto empty shells of relationships and then get mad and say that all men are the same? They're not- we just choose to deal with the same TYPE of men and think they're going to change. I'm preaching real good...LOL

I've known for a long time that people ALWAYS ALWAYS make time for the things that they want to do. I know because I do it. We all do it...otherwise we wouldn't be on Facebook when we're supposed to be doing more constructive things LOL. I've put myself through unnecessary foolishness and hanging onto every word because I gave the benefit of the doubt. It's quite clear..."he's just not that into you" LOL. I laugh at the cliche' but it's really not that funny. If there's anyone else out there who feels like I do, free yourself!

 People can have the most screwed up mindsets... it drives me crazy when someone says "I've been hurt before" and all that jazz...as if they're the ONLY FREAKIN person in the world who's had their heart broken... I understand that we always want to proceed with caution, but do I really have to pay the bill that was left unpaid by the last chick??  I think we put people in quite a precarious situation when we provide that little disclaimer because then it makes it seem like whatever they do will never be enough. 

Ultimately, we can't make anyone care about us or be what they don't want to be...I'm just tired of going through this and having the same conversation and having to tiptoe around and do flips and extra tricks just to show someone I'm interested....in the end, it really doesn't seem worth it....and I'm tired of paying the first-class fare to ride a coach flight that is not going to get me to the destination where I want to be... which is to my "happily ever after"  LOL

This particular subject has come up a couple times in the past few days, so I was inspired. Some people have a problem with Pastors and prosperity. I don't, however. Just because we are Christian doesn't mean we need to walk around broke, busted, and disgusted. If God owns cattle on 10,000 hills, why shouldn't we be able to live on top of one of those hills? Now if a Pastor happens to be extorting money from his church, then God has to deal with him/her regarding that. However, what we fail to realize is that NO ONE is putting guns to these folks heads or threatening their safety if they do not pay their tithes and offerings and sow seeds. They are doing this at their own will. Now will I give my last $50 KNOWING my light bill is due and then go begging to the church for money? Of course not. God gives us wisdom to know what we can handle, and he will bless us according to the condition of our hearts.

I believe that it is okay for Pastors to live lives of prosperity....no one is upset when MICHAEL JORDAN, TYLER PERRY or KANYE WEST gets a new Bentley, but as soon as Creflo pulls up in one, he must be stealing money....come on....we forget how many people's lives he touches on a daily basis in a POSITIVE WAY....while Kanye might sing about a golddigger and Tyler Perry is making millions dressing up like a WOMAN- but no one is questioning them.....aside from the fact that many pastors have other businesses and ministries that also supplement their income, but we don't want to accept that. Being a minister of the gospel doesn't mean walking around with holes in your shoes and a secondhand suit....would you go to a doctor who practiced medicine out of a cardboard box? Of course not....

What I will say is that I believe that Pastors should be teaching their members how to manage their money, and educate them so that they are equipped with the same knowledge. Prosperity should not be the primary focus of any ministry, but let's face it, the church is a business. NO CHURCH can run without money. We always say that the church should be the cornerstone of the community and reach out beyond the walls, but forgetting that it requires money to run a ministry to feed the homeless each day or provide tutoring to grade school students. The pastor also has to be paid as well....how easily we forget about that...

If we were really focusing on what's important in God's kingdom, we wouldn't have time to wonder about where some of these Pastors get their affluence from....because the bottom line is that none of us were there and have ever walked a DAY in their shoes or knows the struggle from which they arose....so let's get over it....and just help to advance the kingdom...

Have you ever met someone who was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT?!?!  They were EVERYTHING you ever wanted....but they were TAKEN....so you make them the prototype for the person you want to be with....and it sucks- but at least you have a template right??

So I read the post from a blog to which I subscribe, and the news wasn't new to me, but this time it kinda hit me....not to say that this blogger was happy to report the news that Wyclef's house is foreclosed, but come on....when will we stop tearing one another down and saying "ha ha ha, look at what happened to you".....another piece within this same blog was that it's time to stop leaving above your means...or time to crank out another hit, etc.  but which of us REALLY knows what happened as to why his property went into foreclosure?  Ok, the crabs in a barrel syndrome is really getting played out.....That just annoys me, and if I've ever participated in such foolishness....I repent right now!  I have to be the change that I want to see....so let's take on a new job and help one another....I might not be able to provide the money to get someone out of foreclosure, but if nothing else, I can provide moral support, maybe a contact person, and a couch.....if not now, WHEN?  

Me and Kre are arguing back and forth commenting on one of the pictures from her housewarming and I was inspired to ask this question....for those of you familiar with women who have attended Spelman, I'd like to know how your experience with them has been. We joke about it the bougieness (I can't spell it to save my life), but I'd like to know what people really think of Spelmanites ....I think it would be interesting to know what others think about us.....I know personally there are some snotty Spelmanites, but the ladies I roll with aren't like that (unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary--LOL I'm just kidding)...As a student, I remember there were the annoying ones, and there were always the ones who defied the typical depiction of a "Spelman Woman."Fellow Spelmanites, Morehouse brothers, and everyone else, I'd love to get your response............and I don't want to know what you've "HEARD".....just what you've experienced....some of us can be a hot mess, but the rest of us are cooler than a polar bear's toenails.... so here's where you get to talk about the good and the bad.......

Most of you know that I am an avid blogger, but I only post when I have been inspired to do so....today was a pretty emotional day for me.  I tend to have a short temper and I don't put up with a lot of foolishness most of the time....so as I'm telling Granny about the events that have transpired, she's saying "I don't know what you're upset about"  So of course that didn't really help me much.  I talked to one of my BFF's and she didn't really help much either, but at the time, I just needed to vent.  After I got home, I did a little profile editing....MySpace usually makes me feel better LOL.....as I began adding new info, I remembered what Granny had said earlier about not getting upset over things you can't really control.  I started writing and this is what came out....it actually did help some... 

I named this blog Transparency because although I don't have my life story on MySpace, I have made up in my mind that I just need to get back to the basics of what makes me the woman I am....flaws and all......when it gets down to it, a lot of people can't take off the mask and be real with themselves let alone be real with others.  So here's part one....

1.  I love old school cartoons....The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Captain Caveman, etc.
2.  I am afraid of butterflies (long story)....
3.  I love to write, I probably should have majored in English
4.  I HATE chocolate....I have to be really hungry to eat it
5.  I am very quiet, I don't say much unless I have something to say
6.  I LOVE the red skittles
7.  I'm a big perfectionist....I have to be very detailed when I do something and it HAS to be neat
8.  I LOVE my granny
9.  I don't like watermelon....it's nasty and mushy
10. I type really fast
11. I don't care for cake (unless it's an DQ ice cream cake or cheesecake)...
12. I LOVE live music...I should have been a musician myself...still contemplating
13. I cannot stand misspelled words and typos
14. I color code my closet
15. I like to play with hot candlewax (no ideas please)
16. I am a human beatbox
17. I'm really not as mean as people think I am
18. I don't like just sitting around watching movies..they're too long
19. I'm a gameshow fanatic...especially trivia
20. I don't like mustard....
21. I procrastinate A LOT
22. I love to sleep
23. I can be a real smart aleck most of the time
24. I am very very sensitive...
25. I can emotionally detach myself from situations and then it makes me look uncompassionate....
26. I have eaten just about an entire half gallon of ice cream by myself at once
27. I like to tell people what to do.....that's why I became a teacher LOL

I'll stop there for today....it's time to go....NIGHT NIGHT LOL

So I like to think.....A LOT.....but I don't think that's a bad thing.....I enjoy being analytical and entertaining those types of conversations....so I was thinking about when Destiny's Child "The Writing's On the Wall" album came out in 99...it told a story about women fed up with relationships, and before each song, it had a commandment, so I've made up my own.  I'm beginning to accept people and situations for what they are, and once you do that, there are no expectations and there's no disappointment. 

1.  Thou shall not be overly excited about meeting someone new.  It's always exciting when you have a new interest on the horizon.  You begin to construct your lives together in your head and everything's perfect....before you really know that person. A friend of mine told me not to emotionally put myself out there so quickly and get inside a person's head before you get into their bed.....WOW!!  (I just made that up on the spot LOL)  That should be common sense, but hey we all fall short....meaning we become organ donors and our heart is taken from us before it was ever requested...then we end up needing a heart transplant later.....all because we neglected to take it slow and enjoy things one day at a time.  I'm not saying to spend FOREVER tarrying, but better safe than sorry....

2.  Thou shall not be angry or bitter when it doesn't work out.  I laughed as I thought about this one because that's usually our default reaction...get upset and attempt to make them see things from your perspective.  The bottom line is, everyone is not meant to be your soulmate.  Accept that fact, learn the lesson at hand, and move on.

3.  Thou shall guard thy heart.  Everyone doesn't DESERVE a place in your heart.  I know for me, it rarely happens, and when it does...it's serious....for me, recovering from heartache is like trying to come out of a coma....it's just that deep.  So before you allow yourself to love hard and have your heart smashed to pieces, put on the WHOLE armor of God LOL....just be smart and talk yourself through it.  It prevents you from missing the PROMISE....I've got to do better with giving out V.I.P. passes in my life....

4.  Thou shall not make someone a priority when you're only an option.  Do I really need to elaborate?  Usually, the signs are present when a person is serious about being with you...and when they're not.  The problem always arises when we ignore the signs of the latter....and still believe that we are in the running.  Then we end up looking like Ubu the fool and trying to blame the othe person when they'd already given warning.....

5.  Thou shall not give up on love just because you didn't find the right one right then.  If you have a nightmare, do you stop dreaming? (got that one from Jilly LOL)  The human heart is not meant to be without love, you just have to try to conserve all that goodness for someone who will reciprocate...

6.  Thou shall not attempt to try to make someone love you because they won't if they don't want to.  How many times have we tried pulling out all the stops, our best moves, made the best dinner, or bought the best gift, only to be rejected??  If they haven't given you their heart, chances are they don't want you to have it.  When you get the memo that you need to back off, back off!!  Be with someone who wants the same thing that you do....

7.  Thou shall know what YOU want first.  You can't expect things from others if you haven't made up in your mind what you want.  How can you make demands of someone else if you don't have your stuff together?

8.  Thou shall move on to the next.  Give yourself time to grieve the situation but don't let it consume your life or thoughts.  When you allow that, the other person has complete control over you.  Even when they've moved on, they still control your daily life.  Who wants a life like that?  Let it go!

I will probably be editing this as I think of more.  As I write, I find peace within myself.  This is more like my therapy session so that I can make my life better for me....you would think that I'd have learned better, but apparently, there's more that I need to learn before I get it right....but it will come...