MySpace

Free Image Hosting

Happy Go Kate



Last Updated: 8/1/2008

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 42
Sign: Capricorn

State: TEXAS
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/6/2006

My Subscriptions

Blog Archive
[Older      Newer]
 /  / 
September 17, 2007 - Monday 

Current mood:  amused
Category: Life
I don't know about you but my email is inundated with spam. And not just any spam. Spam that will make my penis bigger and my ejaculations more powerful.

This would probably be great news if I actually had a penis. Unfortunately, I don't, which leaves me wondering just how this whole spam thing works.

I've been told that people who send out spam use "generators" to pick out every variation of a name and/or email address. Kat@myemail.com, kate@myemail.com, kata@myemail.com, and so on. This makes sense but I have serious concerns about the idiot who programs in the parameters. Obviously, "Kate", "Kat" and many of the other variations are not likely to be penis owners.

Yes, I know they probably don't have time to weed through all the email addresses, but if they could just start the generator with "Kev", "Kevi" and "Kevin", they might have better luck hitting their target market.


I also know that some of that lovely spam comes from signing up for seemingly legit newsletters and such, only to have the company sell my email address to the spamming powers that be. Had they told me they were going to sell my address, I could have at least requested that they limit the sale to companies providing products I can actually use. Something like "perk up your boobs now!" or "win a million dollars just for watching CSI" would both be good choices.

So, just in case the spam masters are listening, I would like to make a request. First, please stop sending me penis-oriented spam. I don't have one and unless Fingerhut is developing a new product line I'm not aware of, I seriously doubt that I'll be getting one anytime soon. This rule goes for all the phalic-related spam as well. I don't need Viagra or the new MegaDik formula nor am I looking for a way to "penetrate my partner deeper". Not that I'm not adventurous, but I don't think my partner would enjoy it. He's just funny that way.

In exchange for taking me off the penis-related lists, I'll give you some ideas of spam that you can send. Here's some headlines I wouldn't mind seeing:

Look like Angelina Jolie for just $9.95... so realistic, you'll even fool Brad!

Too tired to have sex? No problem! Our instant orgasm pill is safe and all-natural!

Forget expensive breast enhancement surgery! Now you can have younger, firmer looking breasts just by mopping the floor! (The secret is in our patented handle grip!)

Of course, these are just suggestions, but you get the idea. Make my life easier, turn back my biological clock and figure out a way for me to retire tomorrow and never work again. I know you can do it. If you can really increase penis-girth by 20% overnight (and without harmful side effects, mind you), my little requests should be a piece of cake.
Currently reading:
Penis Envy
By Dakarai Jelani Miller
Release date: 07 May, 2007
September 9, 2007 - Sunday 

Current mood:  silly
Category: Romance and Relationships
If you think you've read this one before... YOU HAVE! I'm reposting it because the MySpace link to the original doesn't work and 1) I really like it; 2) Its got that "evergreen" quality that never goes out of style and 3) (and this is most important) I'm using it to show a certain someone that I have the brilliant wit he's looking for to hire me to write for his blog.

So enjoy... or not... I don't care as long as I get the gig :)

A few days ago, Jabs posted a blog with tips for single moms having trouble getting a date. And let me just say that the things he posted were true... Too true... I'm not single, but I do have kids so trust me when I say my better half would probably buy Jabs a beer for that one.. maybe two...

So, since Jabs covered what we might be doing wrong, I thought it was only fair to look at the flip side as well. A little tit for tat is in order, don't you think ladies?

Now from our perspective, having a kid isn't a drawback at all. Quite the contrary, most women see that as a sign that Mr. Potential is a family guy and that's exactly what we're looking for. But while he may have the stability thing working for him, there are a few other areas that could still keep him from getting a foot in the door.

Hands Off
Please, please, please keep your hands off your balls. If you absolutely must readjust, at least do it discreetly and pretend you're trying to hide it. No, we don't know what its like to have all that junk going on between your legs and yes, we sympathize with the itch you just have to scratch. But honestly... how would you feel if we just shoved our hand in our crotch in the middle of dinner???? Hmmm... never mind... bad example.

Learn Some Manners
We recognize that burping and farting are normal bodily functions. But contrary to popular opinion, they're not pleasant ones. Yes, your buddies might think its hysterical when you belch out the entire alphabet but we're trying to decide whether to buy you some antacids or just pretend we're with someone else.

Focus
The girl with the huge boobs and long legs is amazing. We whole-heartedly agree. But please don't point her out to us. Don't drool or stare or, God forbid, do that little wink-smile-headbob thing that you affectionately refer to as your signature move. We know you'd like to tag that... you don't have to tell us. Close your mouth and put your attention on us. Only us. If the relationship progresses, many of us will probably be okay with your wandering eye. We might even beat you to the punch and point them out ourselves. But not on the first date. Right now, we want to be the center of your attention. And we don't want to have to compete with Xena to do it.

Easy Studly
Unlike men, most women can't separate sex from love or at the very least, a really strong version of "like". The two are entertwined and we have a really hard time sleeping with someone we don't have some sort of attachment to. I'm not saying it won't ever happen - it will. But as a rule, you're probably not going to get lucky the first night out and you need to be okay with that. Its not necessarily that we don't want to sleep with you... its just that we're weighing out our options. We're also sizing you up. If we fuck you now, will you call tomorrow? Hard to say. Take it slow. We'll let you know if we want you to speed it up.

Tit for Tat
Should you by some chance hit the jackpot, always remember that you're not through until we are. It takes us longer you know (and if you didn't, you do now) and while you may not like it, that's just the way it is. Rolling over and going to sleep when you're done is not an option. We'd like to get ours too so hang in there and help us finish, even if you don't see the relationship going very far. Why? Because girls talk. Pissed off girls talk even more. Leave us hanging and we'll make sure every woman in the tri-state area knows how quick you came, including that long-legged boob chick you were drooling over earlier.

Did I miss anything? Ladies?
May 12, 2007 - Saturday 

Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Blogging
Think you can't make money blogging? Think again. You can and with PayPerPost, its a snap.

PayPerPost is kind of like a middle man. Advertisers post opportunities and bloggers pick them up. In fact, this blog post is a PayPerPost opportunity, which means I'm getting paid to tell you how I'm getting paid :)

Let's say for example that ABC Company wants to promote its new blog, its new product line or anything else that might be going on in the ABC world. They post the opportunity on PayPerPost and sit back and wait. Bloggers (such as you and me) scan the opportunity marketplace for offers we'd like to write about. Those offers can range from women's jewelry to investing, from pet products to techie gear. There's evenly currently an opportunity to post some buzz for a new movie coming out this summer, so trust me when I say there's something there for everyone.

What about the getting paid part? The amount you get depends upon how much the advertiser wants to pay. Some posts will only net you $5 (the minimum) but others can go quite a bit higher. That movie opportunity I mentioned earlier? Write a qualifying 200 word post and you'd get $175 bucks! Not bad for 10 to 15 minutes worth of work, huh?

Blogger registration is free and you can have up to 3 open opportunities at a time. Get at least 10 paid posts on your first blog and then you can add another, doubling your posting potential.

Ready to get started? Check them out at PayPerPost.com - word of mouth marketing
.









February 8, 2007 - Thursday 

Current mood:  excited
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Okay, my MySpace lovelies... here's the deal:

I am a freelance writer by trade and in the past, I've managed it alone on a part-time basis. My company is growing however, and I'm now to the point where I'm getting requests for more than I can handle by myself. Thus, this post. I'm looking to build a writer pool that can help with the overflow. So, here's what you need to know:

1. This is a paying gig - that said, the pay varies. I just did a one-page report on Abe Lincoln for $30 bucks and I'm also currently working on a marketing e-book that will bring in $500. Payment can be via paypal or by check via regular mail.

2. There is no byline - the majority of this work includes any and all copyrights to the product so once we sell it back to the client, we have no claim to the rights. This means you won't have a ton of clips and links for your portfolio however, you can list yourself as a contract writer for IGM (my company) and I'll be happy to provide references if you should ever need them.

3. You won't get bored - like I said, I just did a report on Abe Lincoln and I'm also working on a book about marketing, and that's just two of maybe 15 different projects I have or have had in the last couple of weeks. The topics vary from one end of the spectrum to the other so the more flexible you are with your writing and the more you can research and write about "anything", the more fun you'll have.

4. There's no set schedule - I can't guarantee a certain workload, a particular set of hours or even a set amount of money. Some projects come in with an immediate turn-around time, while others are a little more flexible. There's no obligation to take a particular project I offer you, but I do need you to commit to completing it if you accept.

5. First come, first serve - If I offer a project to you, I'll give you a set amount of time to respond. If I haven't heard from you, I'll be on to the next writer. Sorry about this, but I can't wait three days for you to get back to me only to discover that you're not interested.

6. Open communication - I'll have to know how to contact you - email, IM, phone and mailing address. All your information will be strictly confidential.

7. You'll be an independent contractor - Not an employee. You'll be asked to sign a non-compete, a confidentiality agreement as well as a basic "I agree, you agree" contract. All upfront and in plain English - no heretofores or other legal jargon - everything is straightforward. Once you hit the $500 mark with me for any given year, you'll have to complete a W-9 to continue working, so that I can send you a 1099 at the end of the year.

8. Keep it clean - While I have gotten a few gigs in the past for adult toy catalogs that allow a racier commentary, for the most part, this stuff is pretty straight and narrow. I love your blogs that call it like it is and include a few "fucks" for good measure. If you've read any of my stuff then you know that's my favorite word of all. But for these projects, the f-bombs have to go as do any other words that might be seen "offensive" by the non-MySpace world. I know this is a given, but I wanted to point it out nonetheless.

9. There's no guarantees - this is a freelance business. Sometimes I'm swamped...sometimes I have very little at all. There's no guarantees... let me say that again... there's no guarantees that I'll be able to keep you happily writing on a regular or even irregular basis. That said, if I have a pool of solid writers and I know what I have to work with, I will be marketing more than I have been so the potential is definitely there.

Interested?

Here's what I need from you:

1. Your areas of expertise, what you like to write about, etc.
2. Some samples of your work. Doesn't have to be anything fancy, just show me a few things you think represent your best work so far, published or not. Don't have samples? Then send me 1) a one-page bio of George Washington and 2) a one page sales letter for MySpace (convince me to buy a profile). MS Word is fine, so is plain text.
3. Your rates. I need your very best rate and I need them for different projects. Tell me per page, per hour... how do you want to work and what will it cost? Is research included?
4. A working email address so I can contact you for more information if I need it.
5. Your turnaround time. Do you have a flexible schedule or will you typically need some lead time to complete a project? Both are fine, I just need to know in advance.
6. How much overflow do you think you can do, i.e., X pages per week, etc. Again no guarantees and no set requirements - I just need to know what I have to work with in advance.

That's pretty much it! Any questions? Drop me a line. :)
January 12, 2007 - Friday 

Current mood:  busy
Category: News and Politics
If you keep an eye on the news, you've likely seen this story:

Scientists Prepare to Move Doomsday Clock Forward

I saw the headline and thought... "oooh... are they predicting the future again?" But no.  Its not even that interesting. Instead, the Doomsday Clock is a big pretend clock (as you can see from the picture) and offers nothing more than a 20 minute range of time used to represent how "close" scientists think we are to total annihilation.

For example, in 1953, the US and Soviet Union decided to flex our muscles and test our hydrogen bombs. The "keepers" of the clock thought this represented an increased threat and so moved the clock's minute hand up to 2 minutes to midnight (midnight representing "doomsday" just in case you haven't caught on).  In 1991, the superpowers signed the agreement to reduce nuclear arms. The keepers saw this as a good thing and moved the little hand back to 17 minutes until midnight. Whew! Well, thank goodness for that!

So, why I am sharing this story with you if I think its so retarded? Well... because it really IS so retarded.

Do we really need the clock? Are we seriously unclear about the present dangers without it?  If someone forgets to move the clock hand forward, does that mean that Armageddon can't come?

"Gosh, I'm sorry but we can't have a nuclear war right now... our clock keeper isn't around to move the hand up."

And that's another thing... they refer to the clock scientists as "keepers".  Me thinks they've watched one too many Lord of the Rings movies.  Sorry, but you're not mystical keepers.  You're old white men who have nothing better to do than play with a paper clock.  I mean, we get it... things are sucking around the world. Don't insult me with your crayola illustration.

So, why are we spending time, effort and money on a pretend clock that tells us nothing? Even more to the point, why is it making the fucking news? The American people are smart enough to know that things aren't exactly peachy around the world... well, okay... SOME of the American people are smart enough to know... as for the rest, I don't think the stupid clock is really going to clear things up for them.

And one more question... if Armageddon does come, will one of the "keepers" stick around to move the little hand to midnight?  Will anyone else be around to care?

Okay... there's my rant for the day... anyone else want to share? :)

January 3, 2007 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  mischievous
Category: Life
Yesterday was my birthday - my 40th birthday if you can believe that, and interestingly, it was the same day that the federal government declared as a "National Day of Mourning". Yes, I realize that was in honor of Gerald Ford's funeral, but I though it was somewhat appropriate that the country should mourn the day I hit the big "four-oh". And since its a bit of a landmark for me, I get to contend with the whole retrospective "what have I done with my life" crap on top of the usual new year's resolutions.

Yet, while my ambition certainly outweighs my perception of reality, I do have to say that my thirties were pretty darn good.

Oh, there were plenty of bumps along the way but all in all, being "thirtysomething" is a wonderful age to be. You're old enough that people take you seriously in the office, but still young enough to go get smashed without being seen as an "old drunk". The thirties brought me clarity and helped me focus on what I wanted. I no longer felt the need for drama nor did I give a shit if I wasn't everybody's best friend. I realized what the true meaning of "bitch" was and I must tell you - its a really good thing :)

So, I want to formally thank my thirties and say goodbye to some of the best years I've had. I can only hope that my forties are just as wickedly fabulous.

Having addressed the birthday thing, here's my new year's resolutions for 2007:

1. Have more sex. Not that I'm not having enough - I'm married so I get it whenever I want. But I thought it would be nice to make the effort to have more. Sex is good for you. It improves your circulation, burns calories and gives your skin that all-over healthy glow. Since I'm expecting my first age-spot any day now, I can certainly use the extra help.

2. Take more naps. I know I've said this somewhere before, but I think naps are crucial to our mental well-being. In our rat-race of a world, we've given up the early-afternoon nap in exchange for longer hours at the office. I think this sucks and seeing as I'm now officially considered a grown-up, I think I have the authority to declare that naps are once again a priority and should be observed at every opportunity.

3. Learn to rollerblade. We've got this big concrete driveway that stretches from the street all the way down the hill to our house and then branches out from one end of the house to the other. It just screams for something with wheels and seeing as I did the roller skating thing many moons ago, I thought I might try my hand at roller blades. Besides, nothing says "sexy" more than a forty year old woman shaking her ass on pair of skates.

4. Apply for social security. Yes, I realize that retirement is still a way's off but I'm told that it can take a while to process and realistically, there's a good chance social security won't even be around by the time I actually hit 65. I figure if I apply now, I can go ahead and stake my claim on my money and keep it tied up in their reserves until I can formally declare my retirement.

5. Give in to bodily functions. Have you ever noticed how old people don't try to hide all their little farts, burps and other obnoxious bodily functions? I always thought this was due to senility or perhaps an inability to make it to the bathroom in time but now I'm thinking maybe its more to do with their biological clock. Time is short after all and while I used to think it was important to be discreet about such things, now I'm wondering if I really have the extra time to spare. Just imagine all the extra time we would have if we just let loose whenever the urge hit us... yes, it would take some getting use to, but I still think the idea has potential.

6. Get bitchy. Did you ever see Fried Green Tomatoes with Kathy Bates? Going through the "change", she's feeling depressed, weepy and wimpy and lets other people treat her like shit. After a few conversations with Jessica Tandy, she gets a new perspective and starts to finally flex her metaphorical muscles. Now, I'm not going through the change (yet), but I don't think that's a requirement to become bitchy. For this resolution, I promise to start flipping people off when they refuse to let me merge on the highway. I will no longer let it slide when someone blatantly cuts in front of me while I'm waiting in line. And as for the assholes who think I'll back down if they talk to me like I'm stupid, think again - this is the "New Me". The older Me. I'll kick your ass and won't even miss my nap to do it. So don't fuck with me. I'm forty and could "snap" at any time.

Well, there you have it. My new year's resolutions for 2007. And in case you're wondering, I had a lovely birthday, complete with cake, cookies and the broccolli-cheese soup from Black Eyed Pea. For presents, I got a cozy sweater and some gift cards to use at my every whim. Will I buy something slinky and completely impractical? No... instead, I'm thinking I'll invest in some hair-dye and a pair of long-johns I've had my eye on.

Shit... what do you know? I guess I'm old after all :)
December 28, 2006 - Thursday 

Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Life
In just a few days, I will hit the big "four-oh". That's right... 40. I'm actually going to be forty fucking years old.

And although I certainly don't "feel" forty, I will say my perspective has drastically changed over the years, giving some credence to the phrase "older and wiser". The big picture is just a little bit clearer these days and while I'm not claiming to be above some petty schoolgirl behavior now and then, it does at least happen much less frequently. I've learned to let go of the little things. To embrace the "now", live in the moment and all that other inspirational shit the self-help books keep preaching. Turning 40 has reminded me that there are some things that really matter and plenty of things that don't. And wouldn't you know it... I made a list :)

1. I'm the girl with the toilet paper stuck to my shoe. Chances are, you are too. And that's okay. Its exhausting when you're always trying to impress everyone else, especially since once isn't enough and realistically, its impossible to be perfect all of the time. I like not wearing makeup. I like running around in a t-shirt and sweats. And I like that I no longer care if I'm impressing people or not. Turning forty has made me realize that you don't have to be perfect. In fact, you don't have to be anything even close. All you have to be is you... toilet paper and all.

2. If you love your body, he will too. There's nothing sexier than a woman who loves who she is. Instead of spending all your time and energy trying to be a size 1, find a way to get comfortable in your own skin. It shouldn't be too hard if you really consider just how amazingly beautiful the female body is. Its soft and curvy, sensual yet comforting... what more could you ask for? Don't believe me? Ask your man and he'll tell you a woman's body is the most beautiful thing he can think of. Yes, these same men might lust after Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie but that doesn't mean they don't truly appreciate the woman they sleep with at night. You don't have to be an air-brushed Barbie doll to get his attention. When you think you're sexy, he will too, pooches, puckers and all.

3. Beauty is in the feet. There was a time when all of my shoes had to be the four-inch heels that hurt like hell but made my legs look fabulous. Not anymore. Yes, I still have those come-fuck-me-pumps but they're mostly for show because I have come to realize that if my feet are happy, then the rest of me will follow and truth be told, my legs look just as fabulous without them. No more scrunched up toes, no more painful steps. Instead, I have comfortable, pampered tootsies that don't require spike heels to make them look their best.

4. Life is short. We all say this like we really understand what it means but I don't think that's always the case. It isn't for example, a way to justify stupid behavior especially when that little voice is telling you to go another way. Life is short simply means that you should take in as much as you can in the time you've got. No more bitching and moaning about all the stupid stuff - it truly isn't worth your time. Take advantage of what comes your way, fear nothing and most importantly, learn a little gratitude in the process.

5. Have sex. Lots and lots of wonderful, healthy sex. Sex is good for you. It makes the skin glow, it increases your circulation and it relieves tension. Have a migraine? Go have some sex and make it go away. Feel depressed or pissed off? You guessed it... S-E-X. Sex isn't the dirty little secret our society has made it out to be and contrary to popular opinion, you're supposed to enjoy it as much as he does. It's normal. It's natural and its absolutely necessary.

6. Be true to yourself. We spend a lot of time trying to make everyone else happy when the truth is, we can't. We also spend a considerable amount of time being upset that someone else isn't making us happy when the truth is, they can't either. You are responsible for your own happiness. If your life isn't what you want it to be, there's no prince charming that can make it all better.  You have to do that and yes, yes you can. Be true to yourself. Stop worrying about what other people are thinking or what other people are doing and march to your own funky beat. The people that are in your life are there to SHARE it with you - not do it for you. Take control and you'll find you're a much happier camper.

7. Grow up. Life isn't always fair. You can't always make lemonade out of those lemons. So, cry, get mad, throw a fit... whatever. And then get over it. Despite all of our amazing qualities I mentioned above, women can be some of the most selfish, petty, short-sighted people you'll ever meet. And its a shame - because we're capable of so much more than that. Lose the drama, hand the spotlight to someone else and promise yourself you'll learn the true meaning of the word "contentment". We could rule the world ladies... if we'd just get out of our own fucking way.

Happy holidays to everyone! May you all have love, laughter and plenty of batteries to go around :)
December 6, 2006 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Romance and Relationships
You missed me didn't you???

I know, I know... I've been away... but I promise it couldn't be helped... in any event, I'm here now and with an extremely important question:

How do you pick up a guy?

Me and my friend - we'll call her M - are currently taking a stupid insurance class to get our agent's license. What's that? Why would I want to get an insurance license when I could spend my time blogging instead? I agree... its retarded in theory but while I do pretty well freelancing, it unfortunately doesn't quite pay all my bills - I'm high maintenance you know - so I'm forced to have a regular job too and for some reason even unknown to me, I picked insurance.

Anyway... we're in this class and in walks this guy... really cute, and M has a fit... she's definitely interested... I checked his hand - no ring so that's a plus but I'm stumped as to how to help her out.

M is kind of shy when it comes to guys and while I'm happy to be her wing-man (or wing-woman as the case may be), I haven't done the dating scene for years upon years so besides my natural pole-dancing abilities, my pickup skills aren't exactly fine-tuned. Besides, I'm generally more aggressive than she is and I don't think she'd handle things the way I would if I were in her shoes, pole-dancing included.

We don't know his name... only that he sits a few rows up and (obviously) made the stupid decision to work in insurance like we did.

So, that's my question to you - guys and gals: how can she let him know she's interested?



Did you enjoy this story? Then leave some kudos, Digg it and subscribe. :)

Digg!

November 16, 2006 - Thursday 

Current mood:  creative
Category: Life
No, really... they're not. But we'll get to that in a minute. As I approach another birthday (okay, its still several months off but I tend to get retrospective fairly early on), it occurs to me that there should be some words of wisdom that women pass down to each other... generation to generation, so that the women after us are armed with what they need to get the most from life. I listed all the important lessons I've learned over the years and then narrowed it down to five so that even those with a short attention span could make it through the list.

So, let's kick it off - my top five things women should know - starting with the first "must-know" that earned the title spot for this little ditty:

Those fingers aren't just for typing. It's time that women learned that its okay to be sexual. Not slutty. Not reckless or careless. But gloriously, beautifully sexual. And yes, there is a difference. Enjoying sex doesn't mean you're any less of a lady... it just makes you more of a woman. Now, only when the time is right of course, but maturity levels and emotional issues aside, you need to grant yourself permission to explore, engage and enjoy. Think you don't look your best while in the throws of passion? Trust me - he hasn't noticed and probably doesn't care. He's more excited that you're excited which is the whole reason for being there in the first place. After all, you can't really expect your guy to know how to please you if you don't know how to please yourself and contrary to popular opinion, there is no secret manual out there that provides instruction. Its something you have to figure out for yourself. And that my dears, is what those fingers are for.

"Sexy" is a state of mind, not an article of clothing. It's the way you smile, the way you walk, the way you pick your nose or whatever it is you happen to be doing at the time. Being sexy isn't a short skirt or the CFM pumps - its all in the way you carry yourself and in the way you project. Granted, the flannel gown isn't the most alluring of items but I've had quite a few friends that looked "sexy" no matter what they wore - sweats, jeans or yes, even that flannel gown. If you believe you're sexy, the rest of the world will too, short skirt or not.

The "F" word. Why do you need to know the F word? Because its just so damn versatile, that's why. It can be used as an exclamation, in exasperation, surprise or fear... as an adjective, an adverb.. you get the idea. The list just goes on and on. It makes a point without being tacky and gives you full expression without sounding like a sailor. It is, I have to say, one of the best communication tools we have.

The sun does not revolve around your man. If it did, we'd all be worshipping him too. Now, don't get me wrong. Love is great. Love is grand. But that doesn't mean you give up everything that he loved about you in the process. It's okay to have different interests. Its okay to have different friends. And whether you realize it or not, that clingy shit will drive him away faster than you can pick out a china pattern so kick the habit while there's still time. Never, EVER sell yourself short because you think it will please a guy. He'll lose interest and you'll lose your self-respect. He doesn't expect you to become a female verison of him and he doesn't expect you to forego all the things you love so that you can be at his beck and call. He hooked up with you because he liked who you were then, not who he thought he might could encourage you to become. That's something we do... not guys.

Relax. Life isn't always fair. Maybe you don't have the perfect job or the perfect car but the reality is, those things don't exist. Life just is what it is. It's beautiful, painful, joyful and sad. You're going to have really high highs and really low lows too. The object of the game is to push through and get the most from everything that comes your way. Take it in and then let it all right back out. All those things that you think are the end of your world aren't. They're just little pieces to your great big puzzle. And while you may not always think so, you're going to be fine. You just need to relax and everything you need will ultimately come your way.

So, there you have it... the top five things I think all women should know. Any additions to the list?

Does this blog seem familiar to you? Well, it should... It's an older blog but I'm bringing it forward for two reasons: 1) its a good read and 2) I'm playing with all those little links you see at the bottom. Did you enjoy this story? Then leave some kudos, Digg it and subscribe. :)

Digg!

November 16, 2006 - Thursday 

Current mood:  content
Category: Life
This is my Second Life avatar:



Notice the perfect hair? I just bought it last night. For just 5 of the Second Life Linden bucks, I got a brand new head of hair and in ten different colors no less. See those boobs? They're fabulously perky because I made them that way with an on-screen slider bar. No pills, no peeing on a stick and no liquid-filled implants to keep them standing up straight.

I'm showing you this for two reasons: the first is that I'm secretly infatuated with her and wanted to show her off :) The second reason is that she serves as my launching pad for a blog about our obsession with the quick fix.

Venture to your favorite bookstore and you'll find Beauty Junkies:Inside Our $15 Billion Obsession With Cosmetic Surgery, a new release from New York Times writer Alex Kuczynski. Armed with her own plastic surgery horror stories, Kuczynski takes an in-depth look into our need to be beautiful. From Botox to lipo to those lovely Jolie lips, our need to look perfect has turned into a lifetime obsession.

According to her book, there were almost 12 million surgical and nonsurgical beauty procedures performed in the United States in 2004 alone. This number includes almost 300,000 eyelid alterations, 334,052 boob jobs and just under 500,000 liposuction procedures.

Now why is that? Why are we so obsessed with this:





That we're willing to risk looking like this?




I'm not saying that plastic surgery is bad. Quite the contrary, under certain circumstances, it can be a literal godsend. There are extreme cases such as those who have been disfigured in an accident for example or someone who was born with a deformity. And yes, even from a purely vain viewpoint, I can understand why someone might want to fix that "one thing". But our one thing becomes an addiction and pretty soon, there's little if any original parts left.

My friend - we'll call her L - is a good case in point. L is gorgeous - absolutely drop-dead sexy from head to toe. Unfortunately, L is lacking in the self-esteem area and managed to hook up with a guy who got off on making her feel bad and pretty soon, L was a walking basket case. He didn't like her breasts, although they were a generous size D, her ass because he thought it was "too round" and her stomach because it wasn't quite flat enough. To fix these hideous deformities and please her man, L cashed in her savings and went under the knife to the tune of some $30,000. She even had her pubic hair line raised because boyfriend thought it should be higher.

How'd she turn out?

When the docs got through with L, she had more scars than I have shoes and that's saying quite a bit. Her self-esteem still wasn't any better and because she hurt too much to move much less have sex, loving boyfriend found himself a playmate "just until L got better".

Is she an idiot? Abso-fucking-lutely, but you'd be sadly surprised at just how many "L's" there are out there just waiting for someone like loving boyfriend to tell them how high to jump.

I'm not suggesting that we should all just give up and let ourselves go to shit. No, no, no... there's nothing sexier than a fit and healthy body. But let's do it the "fit and healthy" way shall we?

And more importantly, let's realize that we all don't have to look like Jessica Alba or Laetitia Casta to be attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Its corny but its true. What turns one on does nothing for the next, which makes our distinctive uniqueness a true asset. I don't want to look like Angelina Jolie. Not because she's not beautiful - she is - but because I can't very well teach my daughter to be confident and strong if I don't possess those qualities myself. Besides, I like me, crooked nose and all and as I've said before, "sexy is a state of mind".


Digg!