http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh0bQjRoxNc

Some folks were missing my lovely voice. Others...well, we will discuss that another day. Here is the Seeler's (in)famous 'Aliens Theory'.

A brief series of four odd news items in the past week or so. Caution: it is NOT for the squeamish.

"One"

They don't know if he was drunk, but you know something snapped as this dude went on a city park rampage with his taxpayer paid for golf cart. That's right, the guy works for the Parks Department.

He is obviously a danger to himself and the pigeons.


"Two"
Okay...this item makes one wonder a few things: 1) where did the phrase 'eat s---t and die' actually originated from, 2) if something smells like s--t, would you still take a taste test and, as far as the shop owners in Cardiff, who have since lost thier buisness to new owners (wonder why) it kind of makes you wonder what was on the pizza since we found out the secret 'home grown' recipe for thier chocolate cakes.

'Pizza o'shi-'...sorry.

"Three"
Forget Chucky from the 'Child's Play' movies, the killer doll we must focus on is none other than...Elmo, who a family out of Tampa Bay says, makde the statement "Kill James". James is the name of thier 8 year old son. This is not made up. The malfunction was demonstrated for the media, Fisher-Price, the toy company that manufactures the dolls, said it will issue the family a voucher for a replacement doll. The company said it will examine James' model for the source of the problem and check whether other Elmos are experiencing the same malfunction.


and finally...

Some U of Michigan students go above and beyond the call of duty in order to get a "good grade" for a biology class. Panama Jack is alive and well, eh?

The New York Giants won the Big Game with an impressive edge of the seat suspensefest in the two minute warning of the 4th. That's really impressive. What's not impressive is the Super Bowl ads that were put upon the public this year, and I am only partially looking forward to discussing them on Tuesday in my Advertising class.

The funniest commercials were from two specific companies: E*Trade and the Superbowl's halftime sponsor, Bridgestone, with two ads a piece. E*Trade of course had the baby on a choppy vidcam which made it appear like the toddler can talk like an adult. The hilarious Bridgestone ads are unforgettable: the squirrel about to face certian doom, and then the temptations of running over excersise guru Richard Simmons moments after missing Alice Cooper.

Pepsi's Max had a gag with a takeoff on the ol' SNL Bautabi Bros, which only worked when Chris Kattan did a cameo. But COKE had a huge benifit by having ads near the end of the Bowl. The Republican-Democrat 'truce' ad was nice...but Macy's parade balloon Underdog vs balloon Stevie from Family Guy over a balloon Coke was more outstanding...when an inflated Charlie Brown grabbed the prize.

One ad I loved was artistically and visually the best of all the ads: GMC's "Never Say Never". Also, as far as getting product name brand out, Zantac was a bit of a standout.

Movie ads are movie ads. I'm pumped about Iron Man all right, but the best movie trailer goes to the new George Clooney film, Leatherheads, which almost felt like a well produced product ad instead of a film trailer. God, I wish!

Now for the hall of shame. I'm not much of a beer drinker, but in the past I have, like so many others, found Bud Light commercials to be funny. NOT ONE of the Bud Light commercials this year was. The best attempt was the guy with the flame problem on his dinner date. I smiled a little bit at the cheese ad with the beer within. But they didn't hit it out of te park. Then came the clunker with Mark Mancina. Then the hokey cavemen. Then the guy flying. Yawn. But y'know???

I'd much rather have a Bud Lite than a Gatorade

And I love Gatorade. It's just that....an ugly drooling, messy mutt slopping his face in the sports drink from his bowl isn't appealing, y'know? Yucccck.

I might not go for Vitamin water either. Shaq, slapped in the groin. Kid picking his nose...what the heck does this have to do with Vitamin Water? Yeah, LifeWater had Naiomi Campbell and horrid CGI lizards dancing to Thriller, but ...yukkk...

To Fed Ex: I love it. I get it. But take heart: it was nowhere as odd as the Audi ad. Alex Rocco wakes up, car engine and parts on his bed. He's got a funky looking hand. "Out with the old, out with the new"
Huh? I didn't get it. A few minutes later I thought maybe it was a riff on The Godfather (horse head in the bed) but I wasn't sure.

Salesgenie and godaddy were the most offensive, salesgenie for animated racism and stereotypes; godaddy for shameless plugs for...well, look. Telling folks to skip the Super Bowl to see your crapola just isn't happening....and then there was Amp, a heart jumping out of a woman's chest, and Will Farrell in his Semi-Pro character, telling folks what to do with a Bud Light bottle: "Suck It"...

A few days ago, it was reported that actress Sean Young of Blade Runner and Wall Street heckled the DGA awards after heckling Julian Schnabel, director of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Then she was escorted out of the building. The following day...well... I'll just give the news item from theTelegraph UK:

Sean Young, the Blade Runner actress, has checked herself into a rehabilitation facility after a drunken outburst during a Hollywood awards ceremony...Representatives for the actress issued a statement on Tuesday: "Actress Sean Young voluntarily admitted herself yesterday to a rehabilitation center for treatment related to alcoholism. It is understood that Young has struggled against the disease for many years."



"Voluntarily?"

As I posed the question to the great online frieends John Campea and Doug Nagy of The Movie Blog on Wendsday's (1/30) NowLive:

Why does it have to come to the hundreth scene of embarrassment (in public) for actors and actresses to check themselves into rehab?

This is not a slam on celebs who do get treatment or join AA or other fine organizations to help with sobriety. I do applaud Ms. Young for doing the right thing and I hope she does get better. However if she's had struggles with the bottle before, what took her so long? While sometimes it can be a state of denial/refusing to admit there is a problem, how long does it take for a person to know something is amiss? Does it really have to wait for public humiliation? Or a traffic accident? What sorts of people do celebs surround themselves with- sometimes it seems the fanbas cares more about the actors than thier entourage does. A fan would say "I hope so-and so gets better" while some star's "advisor", looks the other way when the celeb dopes up or gets liqoured up. Not once. Not twice. Not thrice...but on a constant basis. (But once is more than enough)

I'm not saying it is true of everyone. It's just an observation. But there is something else that troubles me. Young Hollywood.

New, upcoming actors and actresses who may have been inspired by or look up to certian seasoned actors may be also influenced by example. When I hear about the party going ways of Linsday Lohan and others, when I hear about the death of someone like Brad Renfro, it saddens me. Events like those also get me thinking: why?

The time has come, people. The time has come to stop looking away. The time has come to step up and say, "There's a problem". As a person who is the son of an alcholic, I have seen first hand how abuse of alcohol can ruin lives and reputations. As a Christian, I can pray for these people. As a human being, I cannot let this news item pass. Outbursts during award ceremonies are rude, I don't excuse them. Better that, however, than getting behind the wheel. But why does have to come to either one?

The more facts that trickle out about the San Francisco Zoo- the place where a 300-pound Siberian tiger killed 17 year old Carlos Sousa Jr. and injured his friends, the more angry I get. The more I hear and read about the aftermath of the tragedy, the more revelations that come...it becomes more and more clear that it not only could have been prevented, but should have. It would not shock me in the least if the families of Sousa and his friends were to start looking for lawyers.

From The San Francisco Chronicle :

At the San Francisco Zoo, insiders say nighttime security and animal care have deteriorated over the years. There are no keepers on duty after the zoo closes at 5 p.m., despite recommendations for around-the-clock keepers from the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the organization that accredits zoos. The night keepers were eliminated about 10 years ago to save money.

At night, only one or two security guards now patrol the entire 100-acre facility.
And a public address system that could have warned zoo visitors about the tiger escape and urged them to take shelter or evacuate the grounds was dismantled about 15 years ago, after zoo neighbors complained about the noisy announcements from the loudspeakers.

Other facts noted by the AP :


* According to the logs, zoo personnel initially told police that two men reporting the escaped tiger might be mentally disturbed and "making something up," though one was bleeding from the back of the head.

* It has become increasingly clear that the tiger climbed over the wall of its enclosure, which at just under 12 1/2 high was about 4 feet below the recommended minimum for U.S. zoos.

If that were not all...what's the name of the Zoo again? San Francisco? Hmm...the same zoo that mistreated and caused the deaths of two elephants in 2004? That's them! Is the tiger the same tiger that attacked a zoo employee last year? Same one!

More and more it seems like the zoo was more concerned about the Almighty Dollar. Okay, I understand, They want to cut costs and overhead. Fine. They can make that arguement if they wish. Here is a retort.

1. The complaints about loudspeakers. If the loudspeakers don't work properly, fix them and/or get new ones. If the "neighbors" complain, grow a spine and tell them what's what. They choose to live near the zoo, and that's that. If one were to live near the airport, do people call the airport and say the planes are too loud?

2. If one cannot handle the staff and cuts jobs, the animals may suffer from lack of care. Send the animals to another zoo or preserve where they can get such attention. If you're going to keep the big cats and crocodiles, keep the handlers. If you want light security, so be it...where are the video cameras? Yes. Security cameras. These will pay for themselves, even in daytime. They could help the SF Zoo right now.

3. So the wall has been short since the 40's. Fix it so it meets code. Why the f--- aren't you sticking to the code? This comes off as rebellious and lazy. Get things up to code.

4. Wasn't any steps taken after the tiger attacked the employee last year? Why not?

*****

But the shocking bit is that when trusted employee calls up the administration and reports a serious injury and is not taken seriously...a guy is bleeding, in pain and he's "crazy"???? If they have a bunch of buffoons running the place, and they cut down the workforce that knows what to do...this was simply inevitible. Now here's a 2008 wish and resolution: Folks, it's time to shut down the SF zoo.