http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7JOnV0nOog

The Presets

"The Girl And The Sea"

Tonight the...
Tonight the hills are watching her as she runs towards the sea.
Yeah, she runs so she'll be free.
And of all the friends and enemies she's made along the way,
They are nowhere in her thoughts as she dives beneath the waves.

And he's the one that you've seen sometimes on tv,
And his shirt is on the ground while he's tackled by police.
And the parcel that he throws across the bridge into the creek,
It'll flow towards the sea, it will meet with her tomorrow.

No place, sometime.
We'll clear our eyes.
And when you're down,
I'll come around.

And all the places that she's been along the way.
Flames are licking at their walls. night glows with their remains.
From far away the animals come gather round to see.
But she knows not how they feel and she knows not what it means.

When she was young we'd ask her what she'd like to be.
And she'd close her eyes and dream...
Now we're nowhere in her thoughts as she dives beneath the waves.

Her place i've found,
Could be all ours.
I've seen where you,
Would rather be.

Shall I remind you, dearest, that the reason you care so much, sometimes even worry so much, is because there still exists between you and life, a passionate love affair.

And because of this, everything's going to be just fine.

xxoo,
    The Universe

© www.tut.com ®

...isn't it so romantic?

IR - Fault

I am dying inside and there is nothing i can do
but what does it matter when there's nothing left to lose
i'm still falling apart like i've always done before
the pain is almost numbing and i'll always beg for more
tried so hard to make believe i was something more
tried so many times to start from where i stopped
but that time has vanished and left me alone to dwell

on all the damage i never left behind
all the things i've ruined and pushed aside
all the times i've lost and will never have again
all the things i'm not but could have been

i am drowning in the past and there is no one to save me
i tried so hard to make it work but the world went on without me
now i stare through the window like a soul without a home
i loathe the way i feel and i hate what i've become
tried so hard to make believe i was something more
tried so many times to start from where i stopped
but that time has vanished and left me alone to dwell
on all the damage i never left behind

all the things i've ruined and pushed aside
all the times i've lost and will never have again
all the things i'm not but could have been
through all the pain i never meant to cause
all the lives i've destroyed and crushed
all the time i have lost and will never live again

- Ted, you always understood things a couple years before I did.

From Umair Haque's "The Awesomeness Manifesto" (Harvard
Business)

What is awesomeness? Awesomeness happens when thick — real, meaningful — value is created by people who love what they do, added to insanely great stuff, and multiplied by communities who are delighted and inspired because they are authentically better off. That's a better kind of innovation, built for 21st century economics.

(thanks, Siobhan)

Nine Inch Nails
Only:

I'm becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away
And well you might say
I'm losing focus
Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I can see right through myself

Less concerned about fitting into the world
Your world that is
Cause it doesn't really matter anymore
(no it doesn't really matter anymore)
No it doesn't really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore

Yes I am alone but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself

I just made you up to hurt myself,
And I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself,
And I just made you up to hurt myself

And it worked.
Yes it did!

There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me

Only [x4]

Well the tiniest little dot caught my eye and it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling like I just knew it's something bad
I just couldn't leave it alone, I kept picking at the scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through

Now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be, and I can see things I know I really shouldn't see
And now I know why, now, now, now I know why
Things aren't as pretty
On the inside

There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me

Only
Only
Only
Only
Only
Only
Only
Only

I used to think I was special in my little attachment to this song, like it was my small admission that I had created all my feelings through my choices, but I was special because I was fucked up.

Wrong.

my problems never made me an individual.

my problems made me a slave to my deluded perceptions.

my brother tried to talk me through,
but I wasn't listening.

the worst thing is,
as soon as I could face myself,
I had to face my creation.

you can't acknowledge your composition
without viewing it's components.

I can't can't escape what I am
and it can't disown me
and it can't beat me into submission.

I am you and you are me.
I am what you created and see,
and you are what I perceive.

we can't escape each other,
and through these remains of what we've become
we'll grow,
we'll understand self,
and others,
and need,
and pain,
and love,
and all those things that make live worth continuing unto the next day.

how funny how art imitates life.

Clint Carney does a bad ass painting of some hot dewd and thoughtfully does not include genitalia.

http://blip.fm/~4zymd

all this time
all this effort
all this time
feel this way

make something more
what does it mean
feet in the dirt
face in the sky

everything done
means nothing
in the face of what's passed
always alone
mission complete

dying inside
losing the time
lack of concern
just keep pushing

consume sentiment
break then repent
sunk in too deep
singing to sleep

always a moment
giving more
something tells
it's never over

perhaps and perhaps,
perhaps and perhaps,
never liked that much
never meant that much

end this alone
sick and unknown
grains of sand slip
pieces and fragments

dragging bottom
scraping the sky
look in the eye
facing shadows

raise the chin
finding esteem
nothing more than wanting
nothing more than waiting

whatever it takes,
feel this sense
whatever it takes
to feel less pointless

punctuate moments
as you wish
burn and build
everything changes

don't know no more
keeping secrets
nothing stays
choose to keep this

(tried to write in a manner of Ezra Pound)

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds, cut out of the sun.

On the corner of main street
Just tryin’ to keep it in line
You say you wanna move on and
You say I’m falling behind

Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

I never really gave up on
Breakin’ out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I’m gonna turn this thing around

Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

The good old days, the honest man
The restless heart, the Promised Land
A subtle kiss that no one sees
A broken wrist and a big trapeze

Oh well I don’t mind, if you don’t mind
‘Cause I don’t shine if you don’t shine
Before you go, can you read my mind?

It’s funny how you just break down
Waiting on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
With magic soaking my spine

Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

The teenage queen, the loaded gun
The drop dead dream, the Chosen One
A southern drawl, the world unseen
A city wall and a trampoline

Oh well I don’t mind if you don’t mind
‘Cause I don’t shine if you don’t shine
Before you jump,
Tell me what you find..
When you read my mind

Slipping in my faith until I fall
You never returned that call
Woman, open the door, don’t let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again

She said I don’t mind if you don’t mind
‘Cause I don’t shine if you don’t shine
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
Put your back on me

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds, cut out of the sun
Can you read my mind?

This started innocently enough with an old friend of mine asking nicely,

"are the prices of houses going down at all in LA?"

...and here is what should have been a quick answer:

"Technically, yes, but not proportionally or quickly enough to outpace rising interest rates and tightening of loan acceptances. I just sigh when people complain now; and smile the smile of a nice old man. No one listened to me (or anyone who has the knowledge and willingness to truly HELP them) AT ALL over the last year, and now their inverse version of greed is being turned into hapless frustration. I honestly won't work in residential real estate anymore. No one listens to the people trying to help them; I began to see them as being like animals gnawing at an itch, that then turn to bite the doctor trying to place salve upon it after it's infected.

I do commercial real estate now; that's what I was happily doing in the first place, and well before John Q. Public was willing to hear any bad news about the housing market.

I work with logical, pro active humans who have control of their minds and emotions. I would work with residential clients who portray this same capacity; however, they are so rare there is no need to seek them; rather, they will find me and want to work with me because I understand what they're trying to do and that they're motivation is based on educated, logical steps.

Sorry for the diatribe, but, I almost quit the real estate business entirely because my experience trying to help residential clients, really, truly caring for them and being honest with them, left me feeling disheartened, depressed, and losing faith in the common man. Ultimately, it (what many would call a wasted year) was positive for it's many transformative effects on me, but I'm bitter, cynical, and overly cautious of the average individual.

I've lost thousands of dollars on people who wouldn't respect me enough to even step into my office for an hour and just wanted to "window shop" ...only to find that they had no idea what they wanted and what they could have. Heartbreaking, frustrating, and stressful... not the formula for success.

I gave it a year of my life, and .... well... I'm figuring out a way to turn this mess I kept stepping in into fertilizer... in my first few weeks back working in commercial, I've accomplished many times more that I did in the year I spent in residential, and I'm proud of the people I work with, again. I'm happy."

Can wisdom in this sense be taught? And, if it can, should the teaching of it be one of the aims of education? I should answer both these questions in the affirmative. We are told on Sundays that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. On the other six days of the week, we are exhorted to hate. But you will remember that the precept was exemplified by saying that the Samaritan was our neighbour. We no longer have any wish to hate Samaritans and so we are apt to miss the point of the parable. If you wnat to get its point, you should substitute Communist or anti-Communist, as the case may be, for Samaritan. It might be objected that it is right to hate those who do harm. I do not think so. If you hate them, it is only too likely that you will become equally harmful; and it is very unlikely that you will induce them to abandon their evil ways. Hatred of evil is itself a kind of bondage to evil. The way out is through understanding, not through hate. I am not advocating non-resistance. But I am saying that resistance, if it is to be effective in preventing the spread of evil, should be combined with the greatest degree of understanding and the smallest degree of force that is compatible with the survival of the good things that we wish to preserve.

Bertrand Russell 1914

http://www.solstice.us/russell/knowiz.html

We are lies like the summertime

Like the spring we are such fools

Like fall we are the prophets

Like winter we are cruel



I don't know what's wrong with us

They just made us this way

There's a hole in you and me

That pulls us together



And I don't know where we belong

I think we grew under a bad sun

I know we're not like everyone

You and me we grew, under a bad sun



Every day you bring me pain

And we savor it like rain

We hold it on our tongues

Just like wine



Someday back when we were young

I guess something just went wrong

The two of us are hung

From the same twisted rope



And I don't know where we belong

I think we grew under a bad sun

I know we're not like everyone

You and me we grew under a bad sun